Losing Faith as a BYU Professor – Louisa Killian | Ep. 1698-1699

1698: Losing Faith as a BYU Professor – Louisa Killian Pt. 1


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Content warning: brief mention of suicidality

After her marriage to a “worthy” priesthood-holding Returned Missionary goes south when her husband is arrested for fraud, Louisa Killian finds love & equality in a relationship outside of the Church and a fulfilling career teaching dance at BYU. But when it’s time to renew her Temple Recommend to keep her ecclesiastical endorsement (a requirement for employment at the Church school), Louisa finds that honesty has severe consequences.

Louisa Killian Website


1699: Losing Faith as a BYU Professor – Louisa Killian Pt. 2


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Louisa Killian is back to talk about what happened after losing her job at BYU, and what resources helped her heal and grow. What have been her victories and challenges in rebuilding her life? How did her family react to her loss of faith? What role does art and creativity play in healing? How does Louisa navigate her marriage, parenting, self-care, and spirituality?


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2 Responses

  1. It’s good to have a co-host for these broadcasts, however I do have a comment concerning Ms Dehlin. Your comments/questions are sometimes too long and convoluted. The point of the comment, for me, is lost about half-way into the comment. I suggest a little less analysis and more direct/clear questioning with less commenting. I do enjoy these broadcasts.

  2. This interview was outstanding!

    Louisa described her experience so clearly that I finally understand what happened in my own life and so many others who feel trapped in the depression and disillusionment caused by Church teachings and culture.

    Margie’s comments were hugely insightful in bringing this into focus. She said that the Church has people look everywhere on the outside for answers that are found inside ourselves.

    We become disconnected with ourselves when we are told that the answer to happiness is to follow prophets, trust leaders, read scriptures. In the church hierarchy, our own our own inner voice, identity and intuition always come last.

    They want followers, not leaders.

    They want everyone to think that happiness only comes from what they teach. They don’t want us looking for where true happiness in found – having faith in ourselves.

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