266: “Coming Out” as Gay to Mormon Parents

Natasha Helfer Parker interviews J. Seth Anderson and his parents about what it was like for their family when Seth told them he was homosexual.

Seth is a community activist and self proclaimed local historian in Phoenix, Arizona. Born in Provo, UT, he grew up in Utah, California and Arizona. He plays piano, is a seminary graduate and served a mission in Samara, Russia. His day job is in ocean transportation and logistics, but the rest of his time is devoted to building community. He is currently working on a book about downtown Phoenix that will be released in November, he writes for the Downtown Phoenix Journal and for his own blog jsethanderson.com about downtown Phoenix history and politics, Mormon history and LGBT issues. He also a co-host of qTalk Arizona, Arizona’s only LGBT themed podcast. Seth lives by the motto, “don’t dream it, be it.”

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12 Responses

  1. Seth and his parents are amazing and loving people. Every parent should listen to this if they ever have a child who is gay or if they wonder if they have a gay child. Love it!

  2. Thank you for sharing the experiences.  Every family does have a homosexual member whether it wants to be acknowledged or not.  Possibly with more positive acceptance with members coming out, more will be more comfortable to do so.  

  3. I just discovered the Mormon Stories podcasts, so I’m a little late commenting on this one.  But I was impressed and incredibly happy with the support Seth’s parents showed him.  I’m LDS, and a mom.  I am appalled at parents who reject their gay children.  There is absolutely nothing my child could do to make me stop loving him…and if he was gay, I would love him the same way I do now.  I hear horror stories sometimes, and I’m so happy to hear a story about a family who loves and accepts their gay son.  Thank you for sharing your story.  All three of you are amazing people and I wish you all the best.  

  4. As always, a very engaging and interesting interview. The fact that your interviewees are always allowed to express themselves freely and without worry of being challenged when inconsistent, such as Seth’s mother chiding others for not examining their views and then her unwillingness to discuss a valid point against same-sex marriage, is wonderful. It was disappointing, though, to hear her support the backlash against the Mormon church concerning prop. 8…the blacklisting, vandalism, and so on. And then the general “separation of church and state” objection involves a failure to distinguish between morality and religion. We are protected from being told how, when, or if to worship, but how we treat each other is legislating morality. There also seemed to be a genuine failure to distinguish between the act accepting people and showing them respect, of which we are all deserving, and the accepting of any person’s behavior. We can respect a human being as a human being and not say that the choices they make are equally valid and equally moral. With leads to another failure to distinguish between love and false compassion. Loving someone does not mean enabling them to act immorally but rather meeting them in their needs.

  5. Tanner – who listened to his brother Trevor explain that he is gay via Skype, since he was in Utah at Brigham Young University following his LDS mission – wrote a note to his parents shortly after that conversation. He, too, he explained, is gay.
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