This podcast is Part 3 of a Mormon Stories and A Thoughtful Faith Collaboration.
Mindy Gledhill is an American indie pop music singer-song writer. She has five albums, the Sum of all Grace, Anchor, Winter Moon and Pocketful of Poetry and has collaborated on many others. Mindy’s music appears in film, television and commercials. Its has been described as ‘tender, emotional, intelligent, and touchingly auto-biographical, fun flirty and heartfelt.’
Her vocal style is warm and rich; each of her songs attest to the tremendous talent she has as both a musician and a lyricist. She’s also innovative and entrepreneurial and in 2012 was recognized as one of “Utah’s 40 Under 40” in the Utah Valley Business Q Magazine.
But Mindy also has a rich life story. Born into a large Mormon family she grew up in a faith tradition that could not keep up with her growing awareness of gender inequality and patriarchy.
Mindy joins Gina Colvin to discuss her life, her work, her family and her personal gender politics.
In Parts One and Two of the series John Dehlin interviewed pop artist Mindy Gledhill and classical pianist Dustin Gledhill regarding their new electronic synth-pop project called Hive Riot. In Part 3 A Thoughtful Faith podcast host Gina Colvin interviews Mindy about her faith, women’s issues, and other dimensions of Mindy’s experiences as a woman, mother, wife, pop artist, Mormon, and human.
In Part 1 John explores Mindy and Dustin’s respective stories as Mormons, along with their careers as successful musical performing artists. Dustin also discusses his difficulties as a gay Mormon (including his attempts to change his sexual orientation, driving him to the point of suicide), and Mindy discusses her journey to become an LGBT ally (partially through Dustin’s influence). In Part 2 we discuss the Hive Riot project (which is the perfect Christmas Gift for this holiday season…along with Mindy’s Christmas album).
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I listened to the interview with Mindy and Gina, plus the interview with Mindy, Dustin and Mindy about Hive Riot. I must say I am very impressed. Mindy seems very balanced in her approach to Mormonism. It will be interesting to see how Mindy progresses in her journey once she starts learning more of the church history (beyond just the misogyny). I find it hard to believe that a thoughtful, intelligent person like Mindy will ignore all of the other problems that are hidden to the true believers.
Right there with you, Mindy. I relate to much of your experience. Thanks for you courage and compassion- I can imagine the anxiety you’ve had! I’ve enjoyed following your career; your lullaby album has been making bedtime manageable for many years. You’re lucky to have such a creative, supportive group of friends, I’m jealous. :)
Thank you, Mindy, for sharing openly and honestly with courage and love. You’ve helped me in my journey.
I’m hoping Mindy reads this…when this experience happened I wouldn’t have had the slightest idea of who she was or what she did…I had never listened to any of her music… But you touched my life with your music in an unexplainable manner 3 years ago when my mom passed away…I wrote this down immediately after it happened.
“How Do I Process This…
My dear sweet mother passed away yesterday morning. She was the embodiment of the faithful, endure to the end, LDS woman. Spiritual, dedicated to the church, unquestioning in her child like faith, always testifying firm knowledge that Joseph was a Prophet of God and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints was God’s true and only church on the face of the earth. She never uttered a naughty word, viewed a movie rated higher then PG, drank anything stronger than a Sprite nor ever concerned herself with doubt or questions about the churches foundational truth claims for she knew with all her heart that the church was all it claimed to be. Her life was an example in how to better serve your fellow man, fulfill church callings unquestioningly and make her home a heaven on earth.
Her world was not filled with concern over conflicting Book of Mormon hemispheric models, DNA or evolving first vision accounts. She had never heard of Zelph, the Kinderhook plates or could ever imagine the need for the church to sponsor such apologetic bodies as F.A.I.R and F.A.R.M.S. I have to admit that there was a part of me that envies the fact that she didn’t have a single item of concern that needed to be put on the back shelf in her mind. Cognitive dissonance was a foreign concept to her.
Perhaps it was because of her unquestioning nature towards the church or her instilling in her children an absolute love of truth that my life path didn’t conform to the one she had hoped of me. For even though my siblings, wife and children all emulate similar life choices to those of my mother, my life took quite a different course.
I have always questioned and doubt has always seemed more comfortable to me than belief. Even when I first read through the Book of Mormon as a youth…there was something about that book that just didn’t add up for me…but unlike my mother who rejected doubt, I was a master at placing those unanswerable questions and doubts on my mental shelf until it began to collapse on accord of its own weight. My search for truth led me away from the God and church of my youth and in that search I lost God…falling into the worldview of agnosticism.
Which leads me to my question…I had an experience today that has made me question every conclusion I have made in an effort to reconcile what I feel I now know to be true with those of my former beliefs in Mormonism.
I returned home exhausted yesterday morning having stayed up in vigil all night at my mother’s bedside. Following her passing I was physically and emotionally drained. As is my nightly custom, I plugged in my equally exhausted iPhone hoping to give it a few hours to charge before I needed to wake up and head to work. And as far as I can reconstruct this is what happened next.
I drive a newer car that features an automatic Bluetooth/iPhone connection, giving me the ability to play anything from my music, audio book or podcast library without having to resync my car to my phone each time I start my car. My iPhone is a brand new 5s model that requires my finger print or code (that only I know) to gain access to the features in the phone including my music files. My audio library holds over 6,000 songs, 5 audio books and hundreds of podcasts that I struggle to keep up with. Driving home early this morning my wife and I had been reflecting on my mother’s life. I had not been listening to any music file…in fact earlier in the day I had been listening to one of my audio book files… but when I started my car this morning….this quiet peaceful, calming sound began to stream out of my car’s audio speakers….It caught me completely off guard…what is this I thought as the music began to swell. The notes of the synthesizer were then over taken by a peaceful tranquil female voice which in an almost whispering tone took over the melody and began to sing in an almost angelic manner…
I sat somewhat confused as music I had never heard in my life began to play from my my iPhone Bluetooth through my automobile’s audio system… the words of the song were instantly comforting to me as if an answer to an unoffered prayer… as I listened to this unknown heavenly voice sing the words of the song…something unexpectedly happened…uncontrollable tears began pouring down my face. It was if my dear mother was sending me, her doubting son, a comforting message directly from heaven. The tears continued as the words to this never before heard song touched my bereaved heart in a manner I’ve never had a song touch me before…
”Oh great God…be small enough to hear me now…there were times when I was crying…from the dark of Daniel’s den…and I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again…but tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky…just want to know you’re going to hold me if I start to cry… Oh great God…be small enough to hear me now
Oh great God…be small enough to feel you now…there have been moments when I could not face the lion on my own…and how could I forget we marched around our share of Jericho’s…but I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight…just want to know that everything will be all right…Oh great God…be close enough to feel you now…
All praise and all the honor be to that God of ancient mysteries…whose every sign and wonder turned the pages of our history…but tonight my heart is heavy…and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer…are you there…
And I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me…or some wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams…but I don’t need the strength of Samson or an chariot in the air…just need to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head… Oh great God…be small enough to hear me now…
Listen for yourself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gdT7wKcjeg
I don’t own this song, prior to today I’ve never heard it and yet there is was…playing through my iPhone through my car audio system instantaneously when I started my car this morning.
Right now there is a part of me that wants to believe that God has left writing on the wall that’s just for me…but if there is such a God that can put a song file on my iPhone just for me and play it at the exact time I may be open to such a God sent message…it creates so many other questions…
I do not know how to process this….”
Mindy, I thought you might enjoy knowing how your music touch one man that day 3 years ago after my mother passed away…was it a miracle…it was a miracle to me and it was one of the most special unexplainable experiences of my life…thank you
For Craig Paxton..
First of all, beautiful heartfelt words you have written above. I do understand the loss of a mother. I was wondering, having read of your earlier works, where you stand in your belief in God and the LDS Church. Just haven’t seen you around much anymore. I had a simular experience when my husband passed away and it will always be a part and a link to my love for him. Despite the fact that I have left the church, I have always maintained a life after death hope..perhaps our God is just different than others.,.and your mother found Him too.
Much Care and love,
Vickie
Thanks for your kind words Vickie. Its been 3 years since my mothers passing and I’ve certainly had time to process that experience. Despite having had that seemingly miraculous experience, I remain agnostic. What I didn’t post above is the fact that the song was in my song files. It didn’t magically appear…it was there…and evidently the culprit was me. My wife and I had gone on a trip to Mexico and she didn’t want to take her iPhone…so I had her down load some of her music onto mine…I had completely forgotten having done this….BUT having said that…I had never personally ever played the song nor heard it…as far as I know it was just 1 song in 6,000 song files on my phone that somehow…randomly popped up and played when it did. I don’t place any more meaning into this experience than that.
I take condolence in the experience not in the mechanics of how the experience happened….but I caulk it up to mere randomness
Craig:
Thanks for sharing that story. I hope Mindy reads it and knows her music helped at least one person in his hour of need.
Odell
Thanks Odell
This happened to me too on Saturday night with this song! Only it was midnight and was on 95.5 FM I had never heard it and as the angel sang, I thought, oh my!! This sounds just like mindy and to my delight it was, I know all her songs or so I thought!!
Nichole Norseman write this and is the original singer. I love this song too.
Wow, wow. I’m speechless. I’m so envious of those who have such spiritual experiences. What an answer to an unanswered prayer. I believe your mother indeed sent that to comfort your weary heart.
Mindy
I enjoyed both this and the past podcast. I think that your musical creativity and success offers not only your beautiful voice and messages but also a public forum to honestly share your heart. There are so many women of all ages in the Church who struggle with the same deep and painful realizations of how they as women are defined in the LDS faith. It is truly an imbalance and cancellation of the woman’s soul. Know that you have tapped into the pain that has existed in the hearts of women since the concept was introduced by Joseph Smith pursuing his sexual appetite. As you continue to study you will find that there is no record of the marriage of FA and JS. Hmmmmm. Not hard to figure out what was going on. As for Heavenly Mother just know that she is here. Feel her in your heart. She is not one of millions of women all married to one man for eternity. Crazy! Allow her reality to exist through you. I think those of us who feel this pain have an acute awareness that we made a promise not to forget her. A patriarchal system that use women only to serve men’s interests have no business defining a woman’s’ soul. Feminine deity sounds like a wonderful message for a song!
I REALLY enjoyed this concept. When I was TBM, I often said to myself that all people who left the church were just angry apostates looking for an excuse to sin, overcome by satan, deceived, etc. This interview and people like Mindy slice cleanly through that- how could anyone not see that she is happy, doing good, and relieved of the stress that was caused by the some of the issues the church made us struggle with? I think that Mindy and people like her can be a huge influence for good to show people that you can take a step back from the church and find beauty and fulfillment in life, it is palpable through her music.
As and added bonus my sister served in Madrid under Mindy’s father and always spoke highly of the family. I am hoping I can get her to listen to this episode. There was a rumor that Spain was president Monson’s favorite missions as he called his niece, former secretary and several friends children to that mission, I would be interested if Mindy has any insight to that.
Haven’t listened to the podcast yet, but I’m excited that John interviewed Mindy. Mindy’s music really speaks to me. I am now agnostic, but when I was a believing member, her song “Gethsemane” really spoke to me. “All About Your Heart” was the background music to the video I submitted for the personal ad video I had to submit to get into BYU’s ad program. Now that I think about it, I hope that wasn’t a copyright violation :/
Anyway, it’s nice to have a talented singer-songwriter that writes on a variety of topics, especially in the Mormon music scene.
So very wide is the gate. The river’s random, powerful course carries so many with it. All are loved unconditionally, yet not all can be trusted with His souls.