As the first to be “born in the covenant” to convert parents, Rian Anderson’s world revolved around the Church, until her mission became a crucible of mental anguish and familial tension. Expecting her experience to be one based on love and service, Rian was instead met with strict rules, surveillance, and spiritual turmoil as she continually felt forced to act against her own conscience & integrity. Through it all, Rian found support through weekly calls with her family, which she cherished. That is, until her family’s mounting concern for Rian’s welfare coincided with their loss of faith in the church.
The oppressive atmosphere coupled with isolation due to the initial rise of COVID began to take its toll on her mental and physical health, neither of which were adequately addressed. Amid despair over her family’s disaffection from Church, Rian experienced a burst ovarian cyst, an incredibly painful condition that can have severe complications. Instead of being advised to go to the hospital, she was made to wait it out instead, and as she began to battle depression and suicidal thoughts, her mission leaders’ response was shocking: accusations of pride and instructions to cut ties with her doubting family.
Certain that their concern for Rian’s spiritual well-being was superior to the love her “fallen” family had to offer back home, her Mission President and his wife insert themselves as surrogate parents for the remainder of her mission and beyond. Despite this initial interference, Rian finds herself facing her own faith crisis. As she considers what the actions of her “mission parents” truly cost her, Rian discovers for herself the real meaning of family, and her family had it all along.
3 Responses
It would be great to also hear from Rian’s family if they are willing.
Thank you Ryan and Mormon stories for the amazing real life story of awakening!
Thank you to everyone who made this interview with Rian possible. Her sharing of her experience and the takeaways she is left with as she continues her journey to healing are valuable to listen to. Her takeaways resonate with me as a born in the covenant ex-Mormon who fled decades ago, yet continues to debrief. My parents died faithful believers.
I grew up hearing stories of my Mormon ancestors practice of polygamy and am always surprised when converts and the general public are unaware of this history.
I appreciated Margie’s wisdom, sensitivity and empathy, John’s white shirt, and his brief interjections for clarification which rounded out the information Rian provided.
I remain anxious about the children, and any future children, involved in the child abuse Rian and companions suspected but were admonished by their Mormon mission president not to report.