Wow. You guys really nailed this with explaining the obedience/scarcity/authority model. I understand now why some of my friends raised this way never believed in their own compass. I remember my mother’s expressions of disdain for parents who abdicated their child rearing responsibilities to the church. (She always treated us as though we were essentially good. She would confer with us, even as children. That respect we eventually internalized into self respect. Not that we didn’t misbehave or get punished, but we had our own self respect as reassurance and our guide.