Welcome to Mormon Stories, a space where faith, identity, and personal transformation are explored through real, unfiltered stories. In this episode, Austin Wheeler shares his journey through Mormon and military service, as well as faith deconstruction, revealing how these institutions shaped his views on masculinity, violence, and self-worth.
Austin’s story begins in a devout LDS household, where he was taught to find purpose and structure in the church. He recalls reading the Book of Mormon nine times by age nine, experiencing his parents’ divorce, and enduring trauma within the church—all of which influenced his early perceptions of faith. As he navigated adolescence, he became deeply involved in Christian Nationalist teachings and canvassing for Proposition 8, reinforcing his belief in the church’s moral authority.
Mormon and military culture soon became another defining force in his life. Growing up in California, where the military held prestige, Austin saw West Point as his path forward. But he soon encountered a system that mirrored Mormonism in unexpected ways: thought-stopping techniques, hierarchical obedience, and dehumanization as a means of control. At West Point, he was conditioned to believe violence was necessary, and that true masculinity required emotional suppression and unwavering loyalty.
Despite his deep military commitment, Austin chose to resign from West Point to serve a Mormon mission in Taiwan. His experience there shattered many of his assumptions about the church. He encountered casual racism at the MTC, extreme illness that leaders attributed to sin, and ultimately, he was sent home after being deemed “unworthy”—a crushing moment that led him to question his faith. His return to West Point was filled with further disillusionment as he saw parallels between Mormon conditioning and military indoctrination, both of which prioritized conformity over critical thinking.
Austin’s breaking point came after a near-fatal motorcycle accident, during which he was clinically dead for three minutes. In that moment, he found no spiritual comfort, no divine reassurance—only emptiness. This experience solidified his departure from Mormonism, marking the start of his search for meaning beyond the frameworks that had once defined him.
Now, Austin wrestles with the aftermath of faith deconstruction, the struggles faced by veterans, and the emotional toll of stepping away from institutions that promised purpose. He reflects on the militarization of faith, Mormonism’s corporate structure, and the ways both systems shape identity through guilt and obligation.
Through his story, Austin invites us to challenge deeply held beliefs, question systems of power, and explore what it means to truly find purpose outside of indoctrination.
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