Messages to my Family
It’s a surprisingly heart-wrenching experience to tell your wife and children that you are being put on trial for apostasy by the church you love.
What I learned today is that it’s even more difficult to receive this news as the spouse or child of an alleged apostate — especially when you happen to live in a very conservative Mormon town, and will likely face considerable social stigma as a result of your father’s decisions (for no fault of your own).
The decisions I’ve made have certainly led to this week’s events. I desire no pity.
But if you have a word or two to share with my dear wife, Margi, or with our dear children (Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston) — who have born much of the brunt of my “activism” over the past nine years — please consider sharing it with them here. Perhaps it will make them feel like the sacrifices they have made — and will likely continue to make — were for a worthy cause.
It would mean the world to me. Thanks in advance.
Hi John,
I’ve read about what you’re going through and feel very much for you. I have questions myself, and would hope that open questions and doubting are grounds for dismissal from the Church.
I hope your family can understand that what you’re doing takes courage – real courage like what Ammon and Moroni did, willing to stand up for what they believe, even in the face of those who you once considered your friends.
Good luck!
Hi John,
I’ve read about what you’re going through and feel very much for you. I have questions myself, and would hope that open questions and doubting are not grounds for dismissal from the Church, but rather an areas where we can learn and grow together.
I hope your family can understand that what you’re doing takes courage – real courage like what Ammon and Moroni did, willing to stand up for what they believe, even in the face of those who you once considered your friends.
Good luck!
I hope your wife and kids know what an impact you’ve made in my life. Without Mormon Stories and the community you help put together, I don’t know where’d be. I find it rather discouraging what the church is doing. I stand by you John as I’m sure thousands more do.
John your work has helped so many and you have always desired to walk the path of discipleship. I hope that you and your family can have some peace and happiness during this time knowing that you have been instrumental in helping and aiding so many in the faith and family.
Dearest Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I want you to know how deeply saddened we are to find out that the church is choosing to try to excommunicate your husband and father. He has done so much good for me, for my family and an endless amount of LDS people who have struggled substantially for years to find an outlet and a voice for their issues that often times made them feel unwelcomed and unneeded in the church. He has eased the guilt and emotional strain for countless people who have the utmost appreciation for your husband and father. Please be assured that he is a noble and honorable man, regardless of whether or not the church chooses to excommunicate him. You have so many who love you all and who sincerely hope and pray for happiness and success for your family.
John will be remembered for his courage. Those taking this action against him will be remembered as cowards on the wrong side of history.
AMEN TO THAT!
Mark, I too agree that history will show John was the one acting in humility and righteousness.
I am so sad and outraged. I have listened to almost every single podcast on Mormon Stories, Mormon Matters, and A Thoughtful Faith. I have appreciated your model of how to respectfully talk about all the messy issues of our time. I can only think that they have no idea what you and Kate Kelly have been talking about and who you are…honest seekers. They aren’t listening but merely acting out of fear. It would be good for you to move out of the state. Come to beautiful North Carolina. We would love to have your family here!
There are no words. I am so grateful for the work that you have done John, it has and continues to help me immeasurably through my faith transition, which has most definitely been the hardest experience in my life. I am shocked and saddened to hear that the church is making this move, I hope things will not be too difficult for your wife and family through this process and I hope they know how much your personal sacrifices mean to me and many, many others.
The day will come when they realize that you were right, the sun does not revolve around the earth.
I wish you the best.
I, too, referred to Galileo in my comment. Thank you for saying it well and succinctly!
This breaks my heart. I can’t imagine what your family is going through – but they know your heart and intentions better than anyone. Like you’ve said before – no matter where you feel your faith is, always pray – always study. My mother has said a lot the same. No matter where you feel you are in the church, stay close to the Lord.
MS woke me up, kept me in, and then helped myself, my wife and 3 children all find our courage to be honest with ourselves and our creator.
We knew it was broken (church) …the lack of evidence, and evidence against, was clear and overwhelming.
At a final point we asked ourselves, how is this false worship (of things made by man) helping us find and understand god? How does it actually draw us closer to our Savior.
At that point, we knew we couldn’t find that within the_very_narrow construct of a church that demands total obedience.
Leaving is not easy. It is traumatic. Pride, fear, shame, embarrassment, anxiety.
We had all the promises. I mean we were Israel.
But it IS worth it.
Every single day is another day out of the “cave” (read Plato’s Cave allegory).
We only wish we did this sooner.
Good luck. You’ll be fine. There is a world of people who talk together on line and in person.
If you want to laugh and talk try Reddit exmo. New Order Mormon has some incredibly nice people and isnt Stay LDS. RfM is angry, but has it’s place.
Look, learn, enjoy.
We were living in a world black and white TV, in Mono. Now we see so many colors of gods creation, and hear in stereo.
you will never regret this journey.
You will never know how Many people MS helped, nor the lives of troubled kids possibly saved.
I’m sure you are well aware of that horror story.
John is one of many champions who took one for the team. This might just bring him closure, and bring him home
You have nothing to be ashamed of. I stand by you.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I don’t know your husband and father personally. But I know him through his works. They are righteous works. Those works offend some people — who also don’t know John Dehlin — who happen to be very powerful people in the Church. But just because one is a church leader, that doesn’t make his every action right. Very highly placed people in the Church commit sins also.
Your husband and father has worked tirelessly over the years to help church members who have been hurt. For that, he may unfortunately suffer. Life is not always fair. But everything will get better, a sir foes eventually for those who strive for righteousness. Stick by your husband and father. He is a good man.
Dave Nelson
College Station, Texas
John, I admire your courage, intelligence and am thankful for your thoughtfulness as you shared your journey through the doubts, problems and goodness of Mormonism during almost a decade. If your family could see that from the eyes of a lot of us they would admire you as much as we do. You helped a lot of us understand the struggle of doubt that we were going thorough. We appreciate your ability to organize and bring some of the best minds together to discuss Mormonism, including the good, the bad and the ugly. Thanks again John, and may your family support you as you have us, even if they don’t share all your beliefs (as some of us ;-). May God bless you in court as you present your case in such a way that your family can be proud, no matter what the outcome. Keep up the good work.
To the wife and children of John. I live in Sweden, a remote small country in northern Europe. I would like to let you know that you should be proud of John and the work he is doing. His work has helped me, my wife and our 4 children greatly in our pursuit for peace and joy in our lives.
No organisation, community, or church should in my mind be at the center or the source of joy in a family. For me the source and power of a healthy family life comes from the relationships between the family members. It comes from honesty, integrity, empathy, charity and most of all love. Community, belief and religion can for some add to satisfaction in life, but for me it should always be regarded as the icing on the cake, or “the onion on the salmon, as we would say in Sweden” :). My point is that if one is not happy, or content with one topping we should not be afraid to try something different. So be aware that people, even in Sweden, has been greatly helped by the work and effort that John has put forth. “If your daily life is in harmony with your highest parities and values, only then will you have a credible claim to inner peace”. And finally: “Everything will in the end work out for the best. If it is not working out, you are not at the end… I wish you truly all the best”.
We have been navigating this faith transition quietly and one of the only bright spots has been the Mormon Stories podcasts and John’s down-to-earth kindness and prior experiences. At a time when we didn’t know where to turn safely, I reached out on an impossible whim, knowing how busy and how many thousands of messages he must receive from people in far greater need, and he answered and directed us to a great therapist and offered words of comfort. Genuine, good-hearted, honest man. Prior to opening up to me, my spouse dealt with this completely alone for months, and spent hours listening to podcasts. It was literally the only support they had and the only thing that kept them from feeling completely lost and alone.
We are now facing the inevitable similar outcome that your family is experiencing now – our kids are beginning to feel the effects of ostracization and judgment from their parents’ choices. But I believe in the long run we’ll be stronger, more loving, kinder people for the experience. Love to your family and praying for your peace and comfort.
While I have never met him, the name “John Dehlin” is synonymous with Courage. I stumbled upon Mormon Stories almost 4 years ago, and it was life saving. His work is fair, honest, thorough, and simply courageous. I will always have a sincere and profound admiration for his drive and dedication, and his family should be proud of him regardless of what label the church tries to apply. History will smile upon John Dehlin and his work…it will be a legacy for his family to be proud of.
Thanks, John. Best of luck.
Dear Margi,
John’s courage, optimism, and love for all people have helped me to see that there is a better way. I admire and stand with him and am sure you know that your husband is a giant among men. The day the LDS church excommunicates John for his good work is the day they prove to the world that they no longer follow Christ.
Amen
I am sending ALL of you my deepest, most heartfelt blessings for the days ahead. John, you have been an inspiration and a blessing to me, and to thousands of others in the last few years. I admire your desire to follow you heart and do what you feel is right and good. I hope your family is proud of you for speaking your truth and I feel that has been your only desire. May Mother and Father shower their love and blessings upon you and your family as well as upon those who are seeking to harm you, that their hearts might be softened. You are in my thoughts and prayers dear brother….
John has been a support and stay to me for the past two years. I have the deepest respect and love for him despite having never met him. What a wonderfully honest man and with great integrity. I am amazed at the great work he has done for so long. You have an awesome Father/husband. You can’t keep the voice of the people down by excommunicating people like John. It’s really not a smart move at all.
What wonderful work you have done John, very inspiring. I personally appreciate your example and service in such a just cause. I pray for you and your family that your hearts may be comforted and the load easy to bear.
Margi, Anna, Maya,Clara, and Winston,
Throughout history people have been criticized for speaking out against injustice and inequality. It’s these individuals who are eventually recognized for their integrity and it’s the people who criticized them that fade into oblivion. This, no doubt, will be tough for you, but my hope is that you remember through this trial that you are facing this for no other reason than one man’s search for truth and desire to be genuine. When you feel down, remember that you are on the side of right. Your Husband/Father is someone to be proud of. I know this is something that goes without saying for you. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
These podcasts have been my nearly constant companion over the past several weeks as I have been trying to sort through things. I’ve tried others, but no one else has John’s combination of earnest truth-seeking, compassion, and humility as he interviews people and makes the variety of Mormon voices heard. It’s just what I needed at this time in my life, and it sickens me too see the Church react in this way. You have every reason to be proud of your husband/father.
During a difficult time in my testimony, I ran into a few Mormon Stories podcasts that really helped me anchor my testimony in the Gospel and enable me to withstand the doubts and questions I face day by day. I would not be where I am without John Dehlin. Thank you.
John,
Please hand them your resignation and go out on your terms and do not let them drag you through an inquisition.
My nephew was ex communicated at 18 by a rouge bishop right at the time his mormon girlfriend had been murdered. The bishop did not care and exed both of them right before she was killed.
What I learned from sitting on a court with the stake president to get my nephews ex communication reversed….was that the most important thing to the church is not having its name and image made to look bad.
It was the right thing to do at the time because my nephew was distraught from his girl friend being murdered….he was in despair that his church had kicked him out and abandon him. They did so because he made the church look bad that he was living with his girl friend…they both were 18 and she was kicked out of her Mormon family home over an argument about make up and she had no where to live…so she moved in with my nephew.
They exed both of them. She was dead when her family found out they exed her the same week she was murdered.
Just resign….they will drag you through the mud in that meeting because you make the church look bad to the public and the membership.
That is why the ex people often times…not because it is what is best for them. It is to protect the name of the church.
I agree. There’s no reason for you to go through a court. Just resign. You can still resign even if they have started a court procedure. Go out on your terms.
Dear Margi and children,
I want you to know that your husbands work saved my marriage. I learned things about my church and thought the only option was to end my eternal marriage to be fair with my wife. Through his example and bravery and love, John showed that there was a better way. A “middle” way, which helped me to seek balance in a dangerously polarized world. I wan’t you to know that he taught me to engage with my parents with love and respect even though I come from a very emotionally polarizing family. I want you to know that I have a sincere gratitude for John and all the work he has tried to accomplish and all the heart and love he has shared.
You probably won’t ever know, but he brought be back to the fold, steadied my mind when I felt the world was ending, and helped me to find the strength to right the ship and hear my own voice in the storm. I an not active now, but he helped me see clearly, not just all good or all bad.
So thank you for your patience, thank you for your behind the scenes sacrifice, and know that there is love and respect for your entire family for engaging on this journey with John. He has reached out his hand and touched lives, and I won’t forget what he has done. I won’t forget what you have done by supporting him through what must have been a very difficult 9 years.
I hope that this can bring your family together. I know it’s not ideal, and no one asks for this. But you have my support, one nameless voice on the internet. I’m sorry that it’s not more.
Also, To your children, There is a certain kind of bravery that it takes to follow your heart above all the other voices in your head. Not many men can do it with the amount of compassion and love that your father has shown. Be proud of him, and hold your head high knowing what kind of man you have for a father.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Joe W
You’re a good and honest man John. Thank you for the good work you have done to help so many. I’m so sorry about the difficulty your unfolding story will have on your wife and children. I’m a closet Mormon intellectual. I don’t talk about it much (only when someone asks). I love my children and wife and have not been able to attend temple ceremonies, etc. out of principle. Even though it is painful to my children and family, they love me and have learned to accept me. I guess love is the only thing that will lift you and your family above it all and hold you together.
I’ve spent the better part of the last year actively making decisions on whether or not the LDS church is an organization I can be a part of moving forward. It’s been a difficult road. I’ve often found comfort in the Mormon Stories podcast John clearly works hard on. I consider John to be a man that pushes discussion much more than an agenda which is what I appreciate most. I’m not an emotional person by any stretch but hearing about this situation today and coming to this website to further research really has touched me as to the difficulty of John’s situation. I wish Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston to know that there are people out there who care for them and care about this situation. I’m sorry for this difficult time.
I think your father is a courageous man. Please be very kind to him during this process. He will need your love and support now as much as ever.
To John’s Family,
Your father has led, with intelligence, sincerity and integrity. Be honored to be with him.
Andy
Dear John and family,
As you go through this difficult time together I want you to know what a great support you have been to me and my children. When I was lost and confused at the onset of my faith crisis you and Mormon stories were there for me when nobody else was. You gave me strength, I felt your love, you showed me that despite my doubts and questions I could stay in the church I loved. You provided me with a safe place to question, learn and meet others and most importantly to know I was not alone. Know you are not alone now. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you. Much love Alison.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston, I don’t know what you’re feeling, but my heart goes out to you. My thoughts are with you. Know that along with so many others, my life has been so deeply impacted for the better by Mormon Stories. I am forever grateful for the sacrifices made by your family to make this work possible. I stand with you.
Your father and husband is a wonderful man who has helped thousands stay in the church and helped the rejected ( through no fault of their own) begin to understand the issues at hand in the church. He has done his best to remain honest and unbiased in his research which has helped so many.
If the other members of the church and the leaders had a heart half as big as John Dehlins, then the church would be a happier place where people would choose to remain and progress.
god Bless all of you from me an dmy family in Scotland. We love you a llxx
John and family,
I am so sorry to hear this. I was just notified by a mutual friend. Here is what I wrote to him who said he was finding it harder and harder to define why he is a Mormon.
“This is heart-breaking. And truly troubling. My optimism is diminished. My faith and hope is not though. Nor is my belief that this is only two steps back after some significant steps forward. And that more steps forward are yet to come. They may be more painful and slower than I thought though.
I met John Dehlin at the gay pride parade just this last Sunday when Jane and I walked with Mormon’s Building Bridges. We posted pics on our Facebook site. What a powerful experience that was. It does make me worry how it might effect my current calling in the church and for future callings.
And I really worry how this will effect people whom I know and love who are already on the edge of staying in the church. That is my largest concern right now.
I guess we will see how this will play out. I fear not well for many. I’m sure it will have somewhat of a dampening effect.
Having said all that, and having listened to Maxine Hanks this year just eight feet away recount her excommunication in 1993 as one of the September six, there may be things we are not fully taking into account. Maxine admits she was at least half the problem in her excommunication. At the time she was an edgy feminist and no longer believed in God let alone the church. As hard as excommunication was she said it was a useful and valued part of her journey. Now, re-baptized nearly two years ago, she is enjoying a calling in the young women. She is at peace, feels at home, and is grateful for the journey she experienced. She continues to be thoughtful, extraordinary and a feminist.
Here is how I continue to define why I am a Mormon: The fruits that being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have born in my life have been by far undeniably beautiful and good. And in the main, the church continues to do a huge amount of good. Additionally, I have had profound spiritual witnesses that I still cannot rationalize away through “god genes,” social induced transcendence, or neurological fantasies. Such explanations haven’t fit what I experienced.
Yes the church’s history is problematic. As is this historical moment you alerted us to in the current NY Times. As is every history including mine and yours. We have found doctrine and revelation not be the pure and simple “ideals” that we once thought. And yet they still have great power and merit to do good. Or harm if we aren’t careful. The organization of the church is both amazing in it’s capacity to do good in the world as well as frightening in it’s ability to do injury at times. It appears that the church, like nearly all things we encounter is complex, paradoxical, and at times inexplicable. God does the best with what he’s got.
Not only will I not “sleep through the restoration” I want to be part of it. I will stay as long as they let me. And I pray daily to do no harm and to try to be meek as I walk an uncertain line of both personal and institutional revelation and rational faith.”
John, I am grateful for your Open Stories Foundation and for helping me have a richer faith experience. I feel I have been blessed by your efforts to explore and understand this thing we call Mormonism as well as God and faith in general. I pray that you and your family will feel the comfort of the spirit and the love of the Divine as well as many appreciative individuals here on earth.
John’s family, your husband and father are largely responsible for me being alive today and for my marriage still existing. John has sacrificed an awful lot over the past number of years and has become the mouth piece for many of us too weak of afraid to stand for what we believe is good and true.
I served a mission in Guatemala as well and even though it was 5 years after John’s time of service I know the issues which he spoke which lead me to discovering who John is. A seeker of truth who stands on principal. Feel blessed to have such a honest man in your family. As he will always have the power of god with him because of his righteousness.
I started listening to Mormon Stories a year ago after learning things about the church that sent my life into a tailspin. I honestly feel very indebted to John for creating a safe place where I could process the thoughts I have had this past year, and learn ways to cope with the struggles that accompany a loss of faith. Thank you, John, for all you have done for me. Much love to you and your family.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
You guys are so lucky to have such an amazing husband and father. I am so sorry for the hatred and bigotry you have and will experience. Please know that it is only the result of fear and pride fighting against a good man. Good will win. In the meantime, keep your chins up, and support John with all the love and affection your hearts certainly must feel for him. You are an amazing family! God bless you.
John, your work saved my life. I was the mother of a six month old baby and I started digging into the church and I felt so isolated. I was depressed and lonely. My husband left me and all I had left was the church, and the church history was breaking my faith. I started to havereallyscary thoughts of suicide and hurting myself because i felt like nobody loved.me,.not even god. I joined staylds and started listening to your podcasts. I felt like maybe I would be ok. I made friends. I heard stories just like mine about feeling abandoned and lied to. I went to therapy and started to heal and repair my life and my relationship with my husband. I started to heal my relationship with the Lord. If I hadn’t found your website I would have given my son to his father, and killed myself. Because of your work and the friends I made, I am here. I am alive three years later. I have a happy marriage and mylittle boy is my life.
When your wife and children face the fallout, tell them to remeber my son. He is four. His name is henry. He loves pancakes. He loves to go to the zoo and see the camels. And he has a loving mom, alive, and healthy with him loving him every day because you stand up for what is right and you don’t let people fall through the cracks.
Thank you
Question everything and be open to the possibility that you are wrong. John fosters this perspective and it’s a great way to live. Thousands of people have benefited from John’s work and his sincere desire to question the status quo, and whether the status quo is doing things the right way.
Sending you all my best thoughts and wishes, and every prayer that I can wring from this broken heart will be for you. Thank you for your sacrifices.
I hope y’all know just how much good John has done for me, even if I’ve never met him. He helped give me the courage to come out as a gay mormon and live openly in cache valley. So thank you to all the Dehlins from me. Much love!
Reading today’s news about John made me absolutely sick inside. He and others that have courageously spearheaded the movement to have a forum to discuss difficult issues has saved me. I was in an incredibly dark place for several years while I wrestled with the beast of Mormon history. John’s efforts and writings brought peace to my soul and encouraged me to go on with my life in a different capacity that I never realized was possible. Regardless of what happens, I cant thank John enough for his honesty and desire to be genuine. In a community that discourages questioning and fosters obedience to a ridiculous degree, it takes amazing moral fiber to swim against the current. Thank you John for all your efforts.
Sorry that those who profess to be devotees of Christ seem to have forgotten so much about him. Two greatest commandments are being ignored by the church. I sincerely hope that friends and neighbors in your area reach out rather than shun, embrace rather than push away and empathize rather than judge.
I have posted my support of John’s activities on my FB page….
I post my hopes for your family here…the church can’t tell you if you are good or bad…they can’t make you a family or a couple…you do that for each other.
When I first discovered Mormon Stories I felt a huge weight lifting from me. For the first time I knew I wasn’t the only one who experienced doubt. John was such a rational voice when I felt surrounded by confusion. My sincere thanks go out to you and your family. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
John- your faith and courage have given me the strength and renewal to continue having faith and hope in the church and it’s people to change. The world needs more people who love like you, who listen like you and who LIVE LIKE CHRIST, Like you! THANK YOU to your family for the sacrifices, love and support that they give you, we all feel it. HUGS from Georgia.
John, your work has been very important to me and my husband. Much love to your family and to you.
John, I am so so sorry you and your family are going through this. Your brave words and activism has not been in vain. You and your family are in our prayers.
Margi, Anna, Maya,Clara, and Winston,
Your father is a brave man. It takes a lot of courage to own up to one’s own mortality and imperfections. His work has kept me sane and has helped me see the world with new eyes. You are being thought about, you are being prayed for, and you have thousands of friends to come to your aid.
-Ryan Flake
Sending love to your wife and children. I am speechless at the news but want you to know your dad and husbands work has helped me tremendously.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Sitting here trying to think what to write to you has been hard. My children keep asking me why I keep crying. I was the YW President lately in my ward and loved working with the youth. I saw what it is to be a youth right now in this world. I also grew up in Provo and went to High school at Timpview. I know what it is like to be surrounded by peers that are members. I know first hand how people were treated by members when they were not members or inactive. I watched it happen, standing on the outside. Nothing I write is going to make it easier or better.
Your father was a light when I felt the darkness was going to swallow me. He taught me that my thoughts and opinions mattered. That I’m not broken or sinful for being who I am. I am sure that he has instilled that in you too. My debt to your father is one I can’t repay and my debt to your family is steep. Thank you from The Lambert family in Huntsville AL for sharing your father with us. So much love and support from us to you. If we can do something we are there.
John and family — thank you, in behalf of my own family and friends, for your tremendous strength and courage — it has made ALL the difference in our ability to see and clarify our steps in our faith journeys. No matter the outcome of this threatened trial, we feel it will only be for the greater good of THOUSANDS of real pioneers who have only done what their ancestors did — see truth and light. Thanks for being a beacon on that otherwise terribly dark path. We love all of you in the Dehlin circle of family and friends.
I’m so sorry that the amazing work that John has done is causing such strife for your family. He has created a much needed space for tens of thousands of people. People that, without him and mormon stories, wouldn’t have had anywhere else to turn. Please know that we are all hurting for you and praying for peace and acceptance.
John’s efforts provided a safe place for me in one of the darkest periods of my life. I may be alive today because of this. I’m sure it’s terribly difficult. I’m sure the sacrifice doesn’t always seem worth it. But I’m grateful. So thank you.
God bless! Remember that Divinity is Infinite Love. God is above any organization… an organization is like a person, a fallible person–no institution can speak infallibly for God. God is Love.
My heart is breaking for your entire family. I believe what John is doing is important, and no less so because he may be disciplined by the church. He saved my marriage. My two little children will grow up in an intact family because John showed us there was a middle way.
Dearest family,
Hold your heads up high. Your father is a hero, and each of you are as well, as you work together for the equal dignity of all humans, to be supported, defended and nurtured.
If you come to my town I hope to celebrate with you and my family for your bravery, and for showing us all how to live with integrity even when things are difficult.
Like the pioneers of old, there are times when the trail is dusty or cold or lonely, and the path forward is uncertain. But in the embrace of your family you can know this for sure, that you love each other, and that your love for each other has created this moment when your love ascends to the heavens and shines on people far away, whom you haven’t met, but who understand your sacrifice that you have make and continue to make for their sake.
We love you John, Margi, and family. We are blessed to count you among our ranks. Thank you, thank you.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston, you are a great support to John. You have many supporters as well. Many, many of us stand with you in spirit during this difficult time for your family.
All the best will come to you, regardless how the trial turns out.
I will think this will have a ripple effect the church will regret.
To your family I say–I bet you are just as brave as John and I bet you will weather this storm beautifully.
To John, Margi and your family
I have only know you, John, for a short time. But in that short time I feel like I have a solid grasp on the type of human being you are. Margi, it was a sincere pleasure to meet you the other night as well. If there is a spirit to be felt, it has been felt by me only when I am on the company of honest, sincere good people. And I felt that when I met and got to know you both.
The sacrifices and efforts John has made are immeasurably good. Your entire family has the love and support of so many people who know and understand your struggles and questions. Thank you for helping me with mine and for helping countless other people going through their own journeys.
God bless.
To the wife and children of John Dehlin:
The road cannot have been easy during these past nine years, but the walk is worth it. Many lives have been touched, including my own and my husband’s as well, because of the work of your husband and father. It may not be of significant comfort to you to know that two lives were touched and changed for the better, but the lives of our children will be, and there are others who will be showing their support and love to all of you during this difficult time. May the countless stories of many lift you up and surround you in love. We are grateful for the sacrifice that has been made, and for the voice John gave to those of us who didn’t recognize we had one until coming to this haven that has been made possible by his work and passion.
Hey my friends,
I feel for all of you and I hope that you know you are not alone. My family has been put through very similar experiences, though it has not yet escalated to the point of disciplinary action. I have seen my Father and my family bullied again and again by Church authority and have seen the toll it has taken on myself, my family, and my parents marriage.
All the best for you…Prayers/Positive vibrations coming your way!
Much Love
Nick
The reality of the situation is that Kate Kelley is the real target. They just needed a high profile male to excommunicate also. If it was just a woman being excommunicated more media would pick up the story.
If I learned anything during my tenure as a Mormon, it was the value of truth. As a missionary I preached us. truth and encouraged others to find it. As a gospel doctrine teacher I told my students to never fear the information in front of us; it can only lead to the truth.
Your father/husband has been an advocate and voice of truth; a voice needed in this culture that pays lip service to truth seekers, but discourages the act.
Johns acts are noble and just. I would be proud to call him my father or spouse if i were in your shoes.
At the end of the day will john fold to the pressure, or will he maintain integrity? Which would you rather he do? If there is a god, which would He rather john do? The answer is simple, and for that you should be proud!
John you will never know how much support your Mormon stories and efforts to build this community has meant in support of me and my family. My darkest hours were thinking about what the truth really meant. I am a returned missionary with 42 years in the church and recently found out the truth behind much of the things in the churches history. I was devastated but had no idea where to turn for help. I found Mormon stories and the support that it has given me in these dark times has been incredible. Thank you for all the work you’ve done for me and my family it has been a huge. If it hasn’t helped a single other soul, it has helped me. It has helped me get through a dark time thank you and I’m sorry the sacrifice your family has had to make
To John’s Family,
You should be proud of your dad. It’s hard to make the world a better place. Some people don’t appreciate it. There are a lot of us that do. Your dad is taking a stand and saving lives.
Go give him a hug!
Your family should know that I personally know several people who have needed you for their own sanity over the last many years (and these are people that are in my “real” life–not people online). I am not sure the Church, in all its calculating, considered the full measure of damage it has accomplished simply by sending you that letter. People with sincere and relatively mild disagreements with the Church just had their brother’s head put in a guillotine and are now left to see if the blade will be dropped. This scene will move mild disagreements to pure disgust with the institution. It is not that JD did not knowingly walk toward the guillotine, because he did. It is that some of us held out hope that the days of its use were behind us. Not so much, apparently.
I kind of hate myself for ever being a “Mormon” right now. It just feels icky, creepy, backwards, and dare I say cult-like. Perhaps it is time to remove that label more formally. My family’s pain will be far less than what the Church has decided to put your family through.
Margi,Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston thank you for your sacrifice in this life. Your husband and father has healed many hearts and mended families. This will be hard for you. People will speak unkindly, they will fear those they don’t understand, and this can lead them to be cruel. I hope there are those that will be kind to you and be your support. In life we must do what we feel is right and let the consequences follow. There isn’t another option. We must all do hard things. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing a special person with us.
May you always have the power to do what’s right,
David Jason
I am one of many who will tell and thank you for going through what you have and will for the sake of many. I am heartbroken at the pain that you will endure all in the name of a Church who is drawing a line in the sand. I am new to this and going through so much physical stress and greif and depression. I too am only here able to function because of Johns uplifting, positive words. I am truly sorry. You are stronger than me and for that I am grateful to lean on you. I am sorry, so sorry! Please know I wish you all well!
Dear Dehlin family, just wanted to say a big THANKYOU for you sacrifice and bravery for standing together and being a Voice for all of us, I know it was not easy but we love you and appreciate all that you do. Mormon stories has been such a positive influence and has changed my life for the better! We stand by you and best of luck !
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
There’s no doubt that your husband/father has helped many people, but this note is about you, not him.
I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I think about how this must feel for you. For years now, you’ve been dealing with the ups and downs of his activism and perhaps even waiting in fear for this shoe to drop. I have no doubt that you love him and he you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy to be living in a small predominantly Mormon town and to have your husband/father at the center of controversy.
And now it’s about to break wide open with a church court! I’m writing to tell you that it’s OK to be angry. It’s OK to be mad at John, and it’s OK to be mad at the church. You can love a person or organization at the same time as you’re mad at them. It’s possible to hold both emotions.
It’s also OK to be hurt. To be hurt that John has acted in ways that put you in this situation through no fault of your own. To be hurt that the church is disciplining John when you believe that his heart is in the right place.
It’s OK to do what you need to do to take care of yourself as the chaos hits. You don’t always have to be front and center supporting him if that’s not the right thing for you, and I would hope that he would support you in that.
Now, and throughout the weeks to come, I would encourage you to find people to talk to — people you can trust with your honest experiences and emotions as you feel anger, shame, hurt, and any other emotions that pop up. Please don’t keep those emotions inside and turn them on yourself or each other.
I send you all a blessing of love and peace and an extra dose of The Comforter to stand with you and by you throughout this challenging time no matter what the outcome.
From my heart,
Martha
I think I misunderstood your request. I thought you were asking people to write and show their support for your family in what must be a very difficult situation for them.
In seeing the mismatch between what I wrote and what others are writing, I went back and reread the initial request, and I see that you were looking for people to tell them how what’s happening to them is all worth it.
Since I think they probably need to hear what I wrote, too, I’m leaving my message here and hoping it helps. Blessings to you all.
To John’s family:
Several years ago I was in a bad place. Very bad. I thought I was crazy, I thought I was abnormal, I thought I was disturbed. My life was crumbling around me, and I had nowhere to turn. I couldn’t talk to my friends, my wife or anybody else. I considered taking my own life, several times in fact. In those times, I would put on a Mormon Stories podcast and go out for a run. I would spend hours, running, trying to purge my soul, and at the same time listening to somebody whose message was that I was not alone, I was not crazy, and there were more like me. Over time I came to find peace, got the courage to open up to my wife, and started on a path that has made my life very happy. We are both grateful for that voice in the darkness.
It may be a stretch to say that John’s work saved my life, but not much of one.
I don’t know the pain of ostracism or rejection, and there’s not anything I can do to help. But if my thanks for your suffering means anything, please accept my sincere gratitude and well wishes.
I have always admired your Husband/ father for standing up for open communication. I know that it is simply fear and limited understanding that would lead church decision makers to this ultimatum. I hope you understand how many individuals John has touched. His message has never been dogmatic or opinionated. is voice speaks to “right an wrong” –not about “true and false”. It has always been about finding your own personal experience and following your own convictions to your own happiness. As a parent it is the single most important message I strive to instill in my children.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston, I am so sympathetic to the sting you may feel from your surrounding community over the likelihood that your husband and father will be excommunicated for his brave, GENEROUS, honest, and loving work.
John has helped so, so many people to save their marriages, save their lives, to save their church memberships and to have the bravery required to live authentically. He is a hero and a bright light. Not a lot of people have the kind of remarkable integrity I know that he has. Few people withstand criticism as well as your father has.
John indirectly helped me to leave the church (and finally be happy) and helped people close to me to understand and empathize with my concerns about the church (though, sadly, that didn’t last). He helped me to find kindred souls who let me feel less alone in the world. People who could testify that my brain was not a handicap, that my reasoning and my heart and my desire to live truthfully and authentically were not evil.
When John passes away at the age of 130 (if people even still die by then) there will be thousands of people at his funeral. Brilliant people, accomplished people, loving people, good people, all drawn to the same in John.
I hope you feel very proud.
My transition out of the church was a dark, difficult time for me. Because of people like John I was able to have productive and intelligent conversations with my husband as we asked difficult questions and faced down painful answers.
There must have been a lot of times when his family had to wait while he finished up yet another post, yet another podcast. The sacrifices his family made over the years has made an enormous difference for so many people. Thank you, to all of you.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I want you to know that I think John is one of the most caring and Christ-like people I’ve ever met. I am personally very grateful for the work he does and has done. The world needs more people like him.
Peter
Dear Dehlins,
I wish I could tell you face-to-face how much I appreciate your father’s work and example. Many tens of thousands of people have experienced the same things he has, but precious few ever have the courage and strength to turn their feelings into something positive by looking outside themselves and helping other people. He is leaving a legacy you can be proud of.
All my best wishes,
Gentry
John, over the past 6 years of our acquaintance and friendship I’ve often thought of Margi and your kids and worried about them. Especially when you were spending sooooo much time helping others with their faith crises. Margi and your wonderful children deserve as many “Thank yous” as you do for their contributions and sacrifices to your cause. Love to all six of you, as well as your wonderful mom.
To John’s Beautiful Family,
Many many people love and respect your husband and Dad. Though you are likely feeling stigmatized and marginalized by the church and community right now, know that many many lives have been touched for the better by the podcasts and John’s nonjudgmental love for all God’s children. We love John and you you right back. I stand with you and send virtual hugs. Christ’s way is all about love, never control. Look to the light and may the force be with you. Be proud of who you are–truly amazing.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
John’s compassion, curiosity, and integrity have blessed my life and have led him into controversy with people who wish to distance themselves and the organization they govern from him. This situation unfairly places on you some of the burdens. Perhaps it will make those burdens easier to bear to know of my profound gratitude for the compassion, curiosity, and integrity John has exemplified.
When I was going through a very difficult faith transition, I felt like I had no one to turn to. My parents and family wouldn’t listen and church leaders were largely unsympathetic or couldn’t understand. Truth be told, I was in a very dark place. But the discovery of John’s discussions about faith journeys and his openness about the problems of Mormonism made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that it was possible to go on. They made me feel like I wasn’t crazy. I will be forever grateful for what he has done in reaching out to people like me and validating those struggling with doubts. In my opinion, he has acted in a far more Christlike and truthful way than most leaders I have encountered in the church.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I know I am just a stranger to you but your father has been a great comfort to my husband and I as we struggled with our doubts about the church. When we felt alone or like we didn’t belong we could listen to Mormon Stories and learn and evolve in our faith while feeling part of a community. He has been an example to me when I felt bitter and angry towards the church. He showed me a path where I could take the good the church had to offer while still forging my own way and thinking for myself. My relationship with my Heavenly Father is more authentic now than before I had any doubts, and the only way I stayed in the church was through the work your husband/father has done. Remember that the easy path is not always the right one.
Sincerely,
Chelsea Brown
John, Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston, this may be a sad and hard time for you all, especially living in Utah, but the world is a big and beautiful place full of loving and compassionate people like yourselves, and in the end the lds Church really has no power over your families true value, happiness, and potential. Wishing you peace and happiness in the present.
John, I just want to say that I applaud your integrity. Perhaps, a church organization is doing what is within their lawful/technical right to do in disciplining their own as they see fit. I have been following you from your first casts about the “kiddie Baps” during your Guatemala Mission and onward. You have shown yourself to be a man who pursues truth and one who is possessing compassion and thoughtfulness with your fellow people. I suppose it was only a matter of time that the Brethren were going to make their move as they are now. But I just want to encourage you and your family that the great people of this world become great by their willingness to speak the truth, no matter the cost. You have the gratitude of so many whose lives and experiences you gave voice to. Pre-internet era, we endured our shame and agony alone. Your work gave a voice and a community with whom to fellowship and receive support. Many have been richly blessed in your efforts. I strongly believe that the outcome will not be in vain. You have, as have people like the Tanners, forced progress in a church which is sorely lacking in true and real prophetic insight. From the bottom of m heart, I thank you and your family for the sacrifices you have made and the hardships you have and endured and may yet endure for the sake of truth. May God’s strength and blessing be added to each of you as you navigate this difficult season through a highly complex journey.
John and Family,
Standing up for what is right is rarely if ever easy. Quite often it involves offending those who are fighting for what is wrong. Unfortunately in this case, those people are the ones with the power in the church. The important thing to remember is that you did the right thing. You kept your integrity in tact. And above all you need to remember that family is family, and stick together now more than ever. Some of us who have left the church didn’t have that same experience. There is far more happiness and peace on the other side of this difficult journey. I wish you all the best.
Hi Margi and children,
It’s so terrible to get online and hear such bad news about John. I am a convert from Ukraine for 14 years. 10 months ago after reading Rough Stone Rolling I had a major faith crisis. My spouse was deployed and I felt like I was left alone, literally alone to deal with what’s been going on with me. When I felt like there was no way out and I probably didn’t deserve to live for having questions about church I shouldn’t have had and even find out the answers I wish were different, I got online and tried to search for people who I could relate to. I felt alone and then I found staylds website. I started to read about John and found his podcasts. When I didn’t have anyone I could openly discuss what was going on with my spirituality, I found and absorbed the stories of others. Those stories helped me realize what I want in my life, those stories most likely kept me alive and still helping me find happiness. I still have a long way to go but I am grateful that someone was so brave as to voice his opinions and doubts and help those in similar situation who are scared to voice opinions at the moment to come to terms with present and move on, move on finding what makes each individual happy. I learned that it’s OKAY to ask questions. We all have that right and it can and should NEVER be taken away from us. We also deserve satisfactory answers. Thank you John for EVERYTHING you have done for me personally. I admire your strength and openness. Hang in there Dehlin family, you are in many people’s thoughts and prayers right now.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston
I am so grateful that your dad as allowed me the opportunity to speak directly to you. I wanted to tell you that I and so many others view all of you as the most courageous and loving people. You are supporting the LGBT community and you are doing what is RIGHT even in the midst of intimidation and ignorance. You kids are sending messages to others out there not to sit back and do nothing…not to be content to witness discrimination and injustice. You are leaders. You are heroes.
To Margi…you are fabulous. I am sure that John could not have done this valuable work without you and your love and support. You too, send a message of love and solidarity of family and good will. You are a hero….to so so many.
And, your dad and husband…well, I dare say that you should be nothing but PROUD of him. Hold you heads up high in knowing that he has spoken the TRUTH. He has taken the path of the most resistance. Hold you heads up there in Cache County knowing that kindness and compassion ALWAYS trumps petty gossip and criticism. You do not need those people in your life when there are so many who value and honor everything your family stands for.
Finally, to John…to your husband and dad….You saved my life. I found your podcasts at the lowest of lows in my life. I felt abandoned by my church, by my God…and in you I found someone who understood my heartache, my pain…you gave voice to my concerns and you and your podcast community literally nursed me to health. Your dad saved my life. And, I guarantee mine is not the only one! How many of those people who are criticizing and ostracizing can say that?
We are all with you in spirit. Stand tall. And feel blessed that while things may seem hard you have the greatest family in the world…with a dad who has helped and saved countless.
Tons of love to all of you.
John
You have been a ray of sunshine to me. You stand for truth and honor. Your family should hold their heads high and never be ashamed. Thank you
Hi Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
I’m sorry to hear the news of your father being threatened with excommunication. I take comfort in the thought that this is not an accident. This didn’t happen to him. He made decisions and took risks in full knowledge of the possible consequences. He’s not a victim. I think that’s what makes him a great man. He’s forging his own path. I hope that when you feel the burden of his decision weighing on your shoulders, you’ll be inspired by his example of “doing” rather than being acted upon. There’s a great lesson for life for all of us. I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through – I no longer live in Utah and I’m not in school – but let me express how truly grateful for the support your father has given me and our community in the past years.
Christopher
Dear John, Margi & kids ~
My heart and prayers are going out to you today. This journey has been long and difficult, but oh please do know how very very relevant and helpful it has been to so many of us.
John’s videos were among the first ones I viewed upon my struggles with church doctrines. I can not tell you how much it helped to know that I was not alone.
Please do know that your sacrifice is not in vain.
So many of us are so very very thankful for all you have done.
Thank you!
gloria
You provided a place of peace in a dark time for me. While I would never say my experience was worth the pain your family has experienced, I can’t express how grateful I am. The world could use more courage like yours and theirs.
Margi and Children,
John is a healer. He reaches out and lifts up the downtrodden. He comforts the afflicted. He offers dignity, hope and love. Except for my wife, John has been my best friend (even though I’ve never met him) as I went through a difficult faith transition (which I never wanted to go through, but it came to me). Irregardless of John’s personal beliefs, he is probably the most Christian man I know of in this day and age. If there is a God, I think he has worked through John to touch me and countless others. God bless St. Johnny!
Your podcast was crucial in my investigation of the church. I remember being in my room, sleepless and disturbed, with my religious floor seemingly crumbling to pieces beneath me, and repeatedly turning to your podcast for support and comfort. Thanks for being brave enough to stand in the uncomfortable crossfire and being able to bridge the gap between believers and non believers. Yours is the voice of reason that I very much needed when I was deciding what to do with my activity. And I also appreciate your public experience and vulnerability. I’ll always be a fan of your work!
John has done more to help me find a niche in Christ’s church more than the church. Because of his work, I have felt less isolated and more enabled to serve and love to a full, I inhabited capacity despite risk of ostracizing. He has sacrificed to be the face of what many people have feared and for that I owe him.
You are not alone!
Thank you so much for sharing your husband and father with us. He has been a great help to many people including myself. I am gay and the support he has given through his interviews, his research, and his advocacy has been truly life-changing for me as my family was able to watch and learn how John became an LGBT ally. He has been a beacon of hope in a church that really could do better, and has the responsibility to be better. I am saddened by the decision the church has made and feel a great loss. History will look back on this as a mistake made by men who let their mortal minds get in the way of true inspiration and a better tomorrow. What John has started will not die in vain- it will go on living in the hearts of all those that have been uplifted by his work. Thank you for supporting him and loving him and your willingness to share him with the rest of us.
John,
Your journey has helped me to understand mine. 2 years ago I could be considered an ‘almost atheist’ and inactive Mormon, ready to resign my membership. One reason, of many, for this was due to my love of my LGBT bros & sis and the persecution they recieve. I lived in Cali during prop 8 and it was horrendous what was done in my region and all over. As an ally I also felt ostracized and could not stand being a part of a religious institution that was doing such awful things.
One of the most pivotal transitional moments for me was attending sunstone to hear you speak at the “why I stay” session. You spoke to me.
Now, because of you an many other pivotal members who aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions, I’m an active member. I also got my endowments a few weeks ago.
It is such a step back in our community. I felt like there was a place for people like us, but now, I’m not so sure.
Thanks for all you and your family have done for people like me and so many others.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
John in a very real way saved my life. I hope that can give you some comfort during this time. While many may say harsh things about him, his motives and what he has done let me share what he has done for me. I was a scared 26 yr old closeted gay mormon when I stumbled upon Mormon Stories Podcast. The first interview I watched was with Benji S. At the time I was living in Beijing China, and felt even more alone in my struggle to deal with being gay. During that time I reached some of the lowest lows of my life. I was considering reparative/reorientation therapy. I even got to a point where I was done living in this daily pain and prayed God would end my life. Your fathers work rescued me from all of that. His work then helped me to reconcile my faith, and rebuild my faith and relationship with my Savior. Through Johns work I found pride and joy in who I am. Be proud of him and his work. When people say harsh things to you, remember you are in good company with those who have suffered for the progression of equality, faith, and justice.
My heart goes out to you and your family. John has done so much for so many, I appreciate the sacrifice your family has made. Stay strong.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
Thank you for sharing your husband and father with so many, like me, who have felt all alone and vulnerable during difficult times. If you are feeling alone and vulnerable now, please know that we are with you, in thought and spirit and solidarity.
John,
I feel so very fortunate to have crossed paths with you, first when you were, what, 10, in Saturday’s Warrior with Joel at U of Houston? Then later to stan in awe at what you’ve accomplished with dignity and courage. Years ago, I said, “if I were going to do another 2 year mission, I’d go door to door, but this time, instead of telling others how they should live their lives, I’d ask them, all of them, what they’ve figured out, what life has taught them.” Then I reconnected with you and found that’s exactly what you’ve done, handed a microphone around, creating a remarkable “testimony meeting” where EVERYone, said what they felt, what they experienced, the joy, the pain, all of it.
In my days of doing stand-up, i worked with a lot of extraordinary talented people. None impressed me on the level that you have – really doing something BIG with your life, with your talents. That your family has stuck by your side through it all says you all are something very very remarkable.
I fully expect that later you’ll look back on this as a liberation of sorts. If anything, finally ridding yourself of this church action looming over you, will be the freedom you’ve needed. I have few heroes, man. But you are definitly on that short list.
To John’s family,
I understand the pain of being connected to an activist; it’s not easy, yet some of us are compelled to act according to our consciences and family members often feel the fallout. I’m sorry for that to my own family as well, but we have to do what we have to do in order to be able to hold up our heads.
I was so grateful to listen to your husband/dad when I first left the church and most of my family were still members. He was trying to bridge the gap with understanding. I hope you will be the recipients of the love and respect he has earned for you all.
It hurts, but thank you.
Jean
Dear Dehlin Family,
John reached out and helped me through my darkest moments. I am a fan. He has done for many, that which those in authority should have been doing. Best wishes.
Dehlin Family,
You have all made big sacrifices, and I am extremely grateful for each and every one of you. Your sacrifices have blessed the lives of many, including me. The courage you have demonstrated is inspiring, and I hope you realize the positive impact your family has had for many people working through various transitions, doubts, and beliefs.
With Love
Ryan
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Take heart. The hardest path is the best path. If Martin Luther hadn’t had to be a monogamous monk and instead could have had an awesome beautiful family when he nailed his manifesto to the doors of the catholic church, certainly, his own children would not have wished his bravery away, and nor should you. Your family is paving the way towards a better society. Keep moving forward, and do not look back.
God bless you all.
Beautiful!
Just know your husband/dad is doing the right thing and likely saving lives in the process.
It has been my belief that the John Dehlins and the Kate Kellys of the world are not unlike the pioneers that the LDS Church so reveres. Many early pioneers made difficult choices that sometimes saddened their families. John and Kate have made difficult choices to follow their hearts and to do what they believe is right.
I have to admire the heck out of that.
Dear Dehlin family,
John has given strength to the weak, a voice to the voiceless, and dignity to the shamed and marginalized. The Church leadership (to a man) could learn a lot about the Christ-like virtues of honesty, integrity, compassion, and courage from him. He is everything they profess to be but are not. His efforts have blessed me greatly by uplifting my spirits in my darkest hours. My thoughts and prayers are with the Dehlin family. I am confident that your best days lie ahead of this trial.
-Dave G
Dear Margi and kids,
John is a great man. You should be so proud of him. He helped me through my faith crisis and helped me find a solution that put my life at peace. John is kind and an all around wonderful person. Please recognise that your husband/father, when he is sat a computer or is in meetings spending hours away from you guys he is helping thousands my people like myself find peace and keep their lives/families together. Thank u so much for sharing him with us. John is my hero and I really am upset the church is doing this to one of their brightest and honest members. My love and prayers are with u all.
Dehlin Family,
Your father/husband is unquestionably a great and honorable man. He has stood up for what he believes in while allowing others of all creeds, beliefs and orientations to fully express themselves in an open and non-judgmental forum. I tried my hardest to channel his soft-spoken courage in making some very important life decisions and it has made my life innumerably happier. I live in the same area you all do and I know all too well the silent stigmatizing, glares of judgment and outcasting you will be on the end of. Just remember that you are experiencing the same things that Christ did in his time. It is only through the passing of time that we all realize who the heroic and brave ones are. You will all certainly be on the side of the heroic through your strength. Regardless of the vocal, and also quiet, hate that you will received just remember that those doing so are not following the most basic tenet of Christ-like behavior:
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them”
God bless and stay strong!
Brian
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I’m so sorry for you all. I can’t imagine what this must feel like.
For me, it’s confusing. Your dad has helped my spiritual life. I didn’t know where to go as I lost my faith in Mormonism and his podcasts helped steer me away from anger, depression, and resentment. His podcasts also helped my wife understand how to deal with my changes in faith. He has done a lot of good for a lot of people. And now you are suffering.
Your dad helped my spiritual life come out of a dark, dark place. He’s mentioned how his work impacted you in the past. Now it’s hurting you again. I’m so sorry. I’ve been blessed by his work, and I hope you can take some comfort that I’m living better because of him. There are a lot of people that have been blessed by him.
Thank you for letting us have a little part of your dad’s life. It has changed ours. And I’m so sorry that it is hurting your life. I wish it wasn’t.
Best,
John
If John Dehlin isn’t good enough for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, then none of us are…and that’s a sad, sad, state of affairs.
Margi and kids, Prayers and thoughts of support to you all. And to those who judge you or your husband/dad, may their hearts be softened and led to understand.
John and family,
I am so very sorry this is happening after all the good you have done. Your example has helped me personally to stay engaged in the Church when I thought it was no longer possible. Know that you have made a positive difference in my life and the life of my family. I will continue to attend my ward and continue to use my callings to make a place for people that question and are hurting. They need a voice. They need love. They need more than they are getting. Doing this to you hurts all of us. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Your Mormon brother,
Jason
Sometimes doing the right thing is hard, perhaps hardest when our loved ones pay also pay a price.
Please know John’s efforts were not only for strangers, but for each of you. His desire to improve the church came from the same place in his heart that desires to make the world a better place for his family.
No words can take away the sting you feel now, but in time it will be clear; John Dehlin was a good man who was undeserving of this action.
All love and peaceful wishes to the Dehlin family.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston,
Your father is a courageous man and one that is held in high-regard by thousands of people all over the world. He has helped more souls know and love the truth then will ever be known. I know it is tough to have a big-picture view when all the stress, and negativity being directed at you is so immediate and personal. Please, as my dad would say: keep your chin up. You have noble blood coursing through your veins.
John, becoming a public figure and sharing your personal life with strangers may not have been your goal. It certainly wasn’t your family’s. But the great things you’ve done, the marriages and relationships you’ve helped save (like my own) are many. I am deeply saddened by the news and the thought that this is bringing additional heartache to your family. All I can give is my support to you and your amazing family and hope for the best.
Dearest Dehlin Family, We don’t know one another but we are family, true brothers and sisters. When you face hardship I share it willingly with you as I would my own blood siblings. To John’s wife and children, take pride in a husband and father who is exemplary in his example to follow the dictates of his conscience. He is an man of integrity. Remember that when Joseph Smith was dissatisfied with the current state of religion, he climbed over a fence and walked off the beaten path and into the woods in search of truth. God did not give us these complex mechanisms called brains if he did not want us to think for ourselves. I applaud you John and family and metaphorically stand by your side and am grateful for giving voice to so many who have not the strength to speak for themselves. Please let me know how I can show solidarity. Me must speak the truth as we see it and live without fear. God bless – I know He/She will.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
My heart goes out to you at a particularly tough time. I became acquainted with Mormon Stories after I had come to some difficult conclusions about the LDS church, and it has been a great source of comfort even as I have returned to some level of activity. I believe the church needs Mormon Stories. It gives LDS people who question, but still love, the church a place to air those questions. So many other sites filled with questioning people are difficult to stand, because those within the group hate the church. It has been a great place for people like me, those who might believe the same things they did decades ago, but still can express gratitude for what being LDS has meant. I know this must be an incredibly difficult moment in all your lives, and I hope you will trust that no matter what happens in the coming weeks all of you will come to terms and to a place of peace about all of it.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston:
I don’t know any of you personally, so I can only imagine what your lives must be like. But having grown up in a staunchly LDS community in Southern Utah, I think I may have an idea. I’m sure it’s not easy to have a husband/father who is as outspoken as John. But for everything he’s done, and everything you’ve done to support him, thank you.
I understand that many people think John is a heretic. I’m sure you know plenty of people who feel like he spends his life trying to lead people out of the church. But in my case, he’s done the exact opposite. I’d given up my faith long before the first episode of Mormon Stories was ever recorded. I considered myself a hard atheist before there was any such thing as a Mormon-themed podcast. When I first heard about Mormon Stories, I decided to listen to an episode out of pure nostalgia, not thinking I had anything to learn from it.
Gradually as I listened, I began to see Mormonism from a different perspective. I realized that there were a lot of things about the church I still loved and appreciated. I discovered elements of church history and doctrine, good and bad, more rich and fascinating than I’d ever imagined. And I came to realize that there was a way to engage with the church without compromising my intellectual and moral beliefs.
John’s point of view on the church is unusually complex, and it took me a long time to figure out where he was coming from. I agree with some of it, and I disagree with some of it, but I respect just about all of it. And the process of understanding John’s beliefs, complex as it was, led me to further examine my own beliefs. That journey led me to start re-identifying, in some sense, as Mormon. It caused me to start attending church, getting to know my ward, and raising my own son with an understanding of his Mormon heritage. This isn’t 100% due to Mormon Stories, but John’s influence in that process is fundamental enough that I’m not sure where I’d be without it.
I know this must be very difficult for you. As heartbreaking as it was for me to read about it today, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But whatever people say about John, please understand that there are people out here who have had our lives changed for the better through his influence. I know none of that would have been possible without your support. So for everything that you’ve done, thank you. I hope I have the opportunity to return the favor someday.
Dear John and the whole Dehlin family, thank you for everything you have done for me and my family. Your tireless effort and willingness to devote yourself to helping others is so greatly appreciated. You will never know of all the lives you’ve influenced and the strength you gave to others as we struggled through the most difficult experience of our life. John, you were our companion when we had no one to look to. Our journey would have been unspeakably harder if you had not been there with us.
Thank You
Craig & Marianne Boydell
John has made a positive impact on my life. The work he has done in the last several years has helped me be a better wife and mother. He helped me see the good in the church and my husband.
It is unfortunate that the church has decided to take this approach. It is more unfortunate that these actions will negatively impact the lives of you, his family. Unfortunately, people tend to alienate and mistreat those who are not like them. I think this happens far too often in Mormonism. It’s like we are conditioned to act this way. We do it out of fear, instead of acting out of love.
You have an amazing family! John is one of the most accepting, genuine, authentic people I know (by evidence of his podcasts). Thank you for sharing him with the listeners of Mormon Stories. I’m sorry this has resulted in negativity toward him and your family. My thoughts are with you during this time. My hope is that those who are true friends will rally around you and those who are not will quietly fall out of your lives. I also hope you will see the love and admiration of large community of people you have never personally met. We are standing with John and your family.
To John’s family,
John’s podcast was the first thing I found on the internet to help me make sense of all the bad I saw in the church. His work has been invaluable to me and my peace of mind. I want you and John to know I really appreciate all the sacrifice he has made to help people like me.
Dear Margi, John and Family,
I can’t begin to express the gratitude I feel to your family for the courage and commitment to each other and to the search for truth and compassion for all God’s children. I have been through seven years of hurt and anguish as I searched for answers to my questions. I have been ostracized and been the subject of constant gossip and judgement, merely for having questions. The teaching of the church have caused some of my children to think less of me for those questions, which has broken my heart. And it has been a perilous and painful adjustment for my marriage, but we are getting through it and I feel I owe so much of that to John and his commitment to help people see all sides and to have compassion. I know you are feeling great pain right now, but I know that your sacrifice and struggle has been for the cause of truth and you will one day, if not now, feel great pride that you stood up for each other and for others who were hurting. You have been a huge part of my survival these last few years and I thank you so much.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston,
You don’t know me, but I want to let you know something that you already know, that your dad & husband is an amazing man. I can’t possibly understand what your family is going through, but I do want to express my thanks for sharing him with all of us. When I started questioning the church and going through my faith crisis, it was one of the darkest times of my life. I could not eat or sleep and was so completely depressed learning things about the church that completely turned my entire world upside down. It was John that helped me to make sense of what was going on in my mind, in my life, and with my faith, and helped me to know that I was not alone in what I was going through. I’ve never talked with John in person, but I owe so much to him. So does my wife and 5 kids (from 18 to 8) who have been going through this with me.
I know this is not an easy time for any of you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Hopefully it helps to know that there are so many that John has helped. So many lives that he was touched in such a positive way. I am not sure how I would have navigated through a very difficult time in my life without him.
Love and respect to all of the Dehlin family,
Ryan
To the Dehlin family,
Without the work of your husband and father, I might not be alive today. There were a few times during my faith transition where I contemplated suicide, and listening to the podcasts were a godsend. They helped me know I wasn’t alone. They also helped save my marriage. My wife remains a believer, but we have learned to respect and even appreciate each other’s differences. She and my children know a little of your pain, because I’ve been ostracized and shunned by my ward for daring to question. John’s podcasts were a candle in a very dark night of my soul. I hope and pray that you are able to find a measure of comfort and peace in what will be a difficult time for your family.
Dear Dehlin family,
My thoughts and heartfelt responses go out to you at this time. I admire your family as you have gone through the last nine years together. May you continue in love and loyalty.
Alecia Harris
You fought the good fight. You had (have) a voice for those who often find themselves voiceless. That takes real courage, and I would think your wife and children would be very proud of you. (Perhaps you and your family could move to downtown Salt Lake, which is much more progressive than many other Utah towns.) I also want to include the words of Edmund Burke, who said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” You didn’t let that happen. You did something, even at great personal cost. I wish you peace.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
In this situation you’ve probably asked yourselves what happens to Dad? Does he lose his salvation because he’s been excommunicated? What happens to our family in the eternities? What about our temple marriage?
Be at peace.
The idea that you lose all your ordinance work, sealings etc was invented in the 1930s by John Widstoe. It was done to discredit the fundamentalist’s claims to authority. Roll your eyes at anyone that tells you otherwise.
Your husband/father is the good Samaritan spoken of by Christ himself. He has bound up the wounds of those who fell amongst the paradoxes of Mormonism. While the priests have passed them by or written them off as unredeemable. He has stopped to tend their wounds and helped to bind them up. He’s given us hope to live.
Even the Lord himself was excommunicated by the Jews, kicked out of the synagogs and dealt with unjustly. Jesus broke all the social norms in his day. John whether he believes it or not is very Christ like in that aspect. Choosing Love thy neighbor as thyself without amendment over obedience to norms mistaken as doctrine.
He has taken an initiative, has been anxiously engaged. D&C 58
27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.
He’s a good man who has devoted his time and talent to God’s children stand with him and God bless!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I am an LDS woman from Washington State. I am married to a gay man that left the church because of its treatment of him. I have felt so grateful to your husband for giving us mixed orientation marriages within the church a voice. When I saw the work that John had been doing I wept. I collapsed on my couch and wept because I felt heard. I had hope for the first time in years. I have felt so betrayed by my people, my family, my culture. Your husband/dad changed that. I can’t imagine the hurt that you are feeling, but I will weep with you, for you. I will stand with you. I believe that what your husband/father is doing is what Christ would endorse. When all my world was crashing around me I found comfort in the scripture in D&C that states, “Therefore let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion, for all flesh is in mine hands. Be still and know that I am God.” D&C 101:16 Our loving Heavenly Father is watching over your family. All will be well.
Margi and kids..Thank you for supporting John over the last 9 years. I stumbled on the troubling church issues a little over a year ago, I stepped away shortly after..I was hurt, depressed, scared, and didn’t know where to go. I found mormon stories and it literally lifted me off the ground. It was the only voice that said honor our heritage, be proud of where we come from and hold to the good. That thought has been my motto. I love my heritage. I haven’t gone back to church and don’t plan to but I love learning about the pioneers and all the interesting people and stories from mormon stories. It’s the only positive form of enlightenment I can get amidst this difficult faith transitions.. Thank you John l, Margie and family. We still need you guys if you are up to it. So many of us like me are hurting…we lost trust in the church and fear losing our identity through excommunication so I am sorry you are going through this. Thank you. We need you. You have All done more for me than I could express. We are now all modern day pioneers treading a new path for future generations. The path is difficult but it’s easier together.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston, and John,
Your sacrifices as a family have helped thousands……spiritual fruit has been manifest by your efforts and it has not been in vain. Continue to fight the good fight, this too shall pass!
Take courage, fear not what man can do, and Christ is with you always! He employs no servant at the gate……have faith and hope in Him and Him alone.
At my house, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for helping me to see and hear, for helping me to develop real compassion.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston, I just want you to know that John was instrumental in my easy transition from Mormon to non-Mormon. Finding Mormon stories was life changing for both my husband and I while we were going through the tough time of questioning the faith we’d believed our whole lives. John doing what he did provided the very support system we needed and made our leaving so much easier and we’re now truly happier than we’ve ever been. I respect your husband/father greatly for what he has done and my heart goes out to each of you right now. It’s terrible that doing what you feel is right can lead to such heartache, but it despite that, know that it has helped countless people who appreciate it so much.
I came across John Dehlin’s writings and his Mormon Stories podcast at probably the darkest point of my disillusionment, of my faith crisis. At that point, I was bitter and my heart was full of animosity. Through listening to his podcasts, and through a number of personal email exchanges, John was instrumental in softening my heart. Although my journey through Mormonism isn’t done, and I’m still conflicted, through his efforts, I found so much to love about the Church, its members, and its leaders. If it weren’t for John, I doubt I’d have any faith at this point. His intellectual explorations, his openness and encouragement of spirituality all helped me so, so much. If in fact there is a God, then works in mysterious ways, and as the Church itself has said, he works through his children. If there is a God, then John is one of His most valiant sons. My thoughts, hopes, and prayers are there for his family and him. My heart breaks for what the Dehlin family must be going through, but please know how much help he’s given to so many people, including me.
John Dehlin, your father, husband and worthy role model has helped me through bitter hell by providing a sane view to the insanity I suffered while finding impossible reconciliation between my own conviction, and the religion I loved. I don’t believe in mormonism anymore, but “mormon stories” has been crucial in regaining my sincere self. I used to generalize and despise almost all mormons just by that credential alone because of what I’d been through, and the judgement I percieved from others. But John’s ventures are among the witnessing elements which helped me embrace contentedness between myself and those with differing views. I wrote an email a while ago thanking John for the things he does, despite our probable differing views, and maintain that he is not in the wrong to demand better of those who demand allegience. (As I see it). Thank you John for doing what you do, I’m both sorry, and grateful to you that you are a scapegoat for what appears to be a sharpening two edged sword. I was once told that family was the base unit of the church, and part of my disaffection accelerated when that base unit was compromised and abused by the organization. Family above all. You’ll be in my thoughts and conversations.
We will find out, sooner then we think, that Elder Uchtdorf’s words apply to what your husband is going through.
“And, to be perfectly frank, there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine.
I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes.” (Come Join With Us, Dieter Uchtdorf)
I’ve only recently found John’s website and started listening, and I commend your husband for his courage in standing up for what he believes in. You and your family are in my prayers.
Dear John and Family,
I would like to express my gratitude for the courage it takes to speak openly about topics that are sensitive and sacred. I am so grateful for the humble, authentic way John has created a safe place for people like me, my wife, and our 4 children who have bumped into issues and have had a shift in our perspective to share this journey with others and not feel so alone.
I have come to appreciate people sharing their perspective not as absolute facts or truths but simple through the lens of their personal experience. It has been my experience that when we simply show up in love and compassion, we quickly diffuse the fear and contention others might be feeling.
Adversity and judgment have given me and my family the opportunity to rise above the drama and strive to put into practice the principles Jesus taught of turning the other cheek, in as much as thou has done it unto the least (or greatest) of these, and Father forgive them for they know not what the do. These have principles seem to be the most powerful way to experience joy in the journey for me.
Simply know that you are loved deeply. May you feel that love and peace now and as you move forward with faith and courage.
With love,
Scott
Thanks for all you’ve done, John. I was able to work out several difficulties I’ve had with the church thanks to you and your podcast before I went on a mission to Korea. You have made this church a more tolerant, desirable place to be. Your family should be proud.
Much love,
Ben
Dearest Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
In my darkest hour of my faith crisis, your dad threw me a lifesaver. His work has helped thousands who were and are hurting deeply. His work will continue to help countless people in the future. You should be proud of your husband and father.
To John’s family,
I sit here trying to fathom your heartbreak when I feel my own so deeply. How can I possibly say what John has meant to me? His work was the net that caught me when my heart was burdened with so much confusion and sadness that I felt like I was falling like a dead weight to the bottom of the ocean. This space became my home, the safe place in which I could grow in to myself. It is the place I found brothers and sisters; the place where I came to know that I was loved, accepted, and even cherished. To risk sounding hyperbolic, John and what he created saved my life. I can only imagine the sacrifices you have made and will continue to make on his behalf, but my oh my how grateful I am.
All the love in the universe,
Lisset
Dear Dehlin Family,
I would just like to personally say that John’s podcasts have meant the world to me the past several years. Just knowing that I wasn’t alone and that there were many who struggled with church history issues, etc. has helped my soul more than I can say. Thank you for sharing your husband and father with us the last several years and please know there are many behind you praying for your comfort and who are grateful for your sacrifices. I am eternally grateful.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston –
All the amazing work John has done in giving people a voice has helped me and my wife more than anyone knows. I’m 100% sure John is a fantastic husband and dad. You’re lucky to have him!
Dear Dehlin family,
Thank you for sharing your husband and father with the world. He was Instrumental in opening my eyes and validating my concerns. John is a wonderful and caring man and I consider myself lucky to have gotten to know him through his podcasts.
I hope that in the uncertainty to come, that you all draw on your strength as a family and stay strong. I hope that you all find peace through this time:)
Many, many thanks!
Ryann
The church excommunicated me in the early 80s because I told them I no longer believed (after seeking the truth and discovering the lies). My cognitive dissonance disappeared and I felt a huge burden relieved. If your friends and loved ones abandon you now, they were never really there for you in the first place because true love is unconditional. Seek out the Unitarians/Universalists for spiritual comfort if you need it. They’re honest and nonjudgmental. Best wishes to you.
Dearest Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
May you find peace and comfort at this very difficult time! Words can not express how grateful I am for the solace that Mormon Stories has brought me. Each of you are in my heart and thoughts.
Best Wishes,
Clarissa
Anyone who stands for a cause eventually suffers from this kind of treatment. My personal mantra is “What’s in the way, is the way.” This is an opportunity for you to learn some very great lessons about true light and love. The greatest growth comes from the greatest pain. I don’t believe that God excommunicates people from Him EVER! The only way that I have been able to cope with some of the most painful things in my life is to change the way I think about it and then feel the gratitude for what I have learned from the experience. Stand by your husband and father and never be ashamed for the strength and bravery he has exemplified. Read the book called “The Invention of Wings” by Sue Monk Kidd. It will touch your heart and help you to understand what those who fight for a better world go up against when they stand for a cause that goes against the current grain of societal conventions (in this case church conventions). I know you will feel judged and look down upon by those who don’t get this. There are many who support you and do not look down upon you. Just trust God because he knows the truth of everyone’s heart. It will all be okay no matter what happens.
Dearest Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry. As someone who’s father was excommunicated publicly in her teen years, believe me when I say that I am truly sorry that you’re being dealt this blow. Just remember – as I so often had to during times of gossip, judgment, and grief – that the pain will hurt only as much as you let it. Keep your heads high, even if it feels at times like your shoulders may not be strong to support them. The Lord will bless you, and I will be praying for each of you. Be strong, and pay no attention to the nay sayers.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston,
John (Dad) is someone I have listened to and read over the past year. It’s clear that he is principled and I believe a decent man. Whatever fallout you may receive from these recent actions, you should know that John has support the world over. Thank you.
Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Please know that your father is a courageous hero who is loved by many. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. You can be very proud of him.
To John’s Family,
Your husband and father is a true hero! He is an embassador for truth and the service he has provided through Mormon Stories has been invaluable to the Mormon community. He has helped so many through their difficult times by bringing the truth forward and sharing others stories. Thank you John, thank you! As his family, you are lucky to be associated with a true pioneer.
In my darkest hour, when I was alone, my husband no longer trusting me, Feeling isolated from and misunderstood by my ward members, no family to turn to, I turned to the internet seeking others who might be able hear me. I found mormon stories and this human being named John Dehlin. I can’t tell you just how important a role he played in my family’s life the last seven years. At first, Mormon stories provided comfort for me as I didn’t feel alone anymore. My husband heard some of the Podcasts and it softened his heart as he heard John speak in his wonderful way coming from a place of non-judgment and he wanted to be more like that and regretted the way he had treated me during this hard time. I know that this service has come at a great personal sacrifice by John and his family. He is an ally to truth and to compassion. We are so grateful and mindful of the dehlins at this time. You are in our hearts. From all seven Malmgrens
John I’ll say this. I wish I were half the man, intellect and compassionate human being you are. You have changed mine and my wife’s lives with your work. Thank you for having the courage to stand up and try to right the wrongs. To quote the book of mormon “thine afflictions are but a little while” and a message to your family. If any man in the church had as much integrity and compassion as your husband/dad what a wonderful place this would be. Keep your chin up Mr dehlin. If knew the love and the support in your corner it would blow your mind.
To paraphrase Groucho Marx:
I wouldn’t want to be involved in any club that wouldn’t want John Dehlin as a member.
I would rather have John as the loving man he is. If he has to stop fighting for the disenfranchised…stop loving the unlovable…stop speaking for those that have no voice….
…just to be part of a church? Forget that church. That’s not christianity…that’s something terrible.
I for one am extremely grateful that your husband and father John Dehlin has ventured onto paths that are not the mainstream and has opened our eyes and hearts by hearing about others and their various struggles through their faith. I as with many feel that you will continue to love and honor him. He is authentic and a good man and I’m sure you are proud of him.
Sincerely,
Tadd Lowe
“I don’t wonder anymore what I’ll tell God when I go to heaven when we sit in the chairs under the tree…I’ll tell these things to God, and he’ll laugh, I think, and he’ll remind me of the parts I forgot, the parts that were his favorite. We’ll sit and remember my story together, and then he’ll stand and put his arms around me and say, “well done,” and that he liked my story. And my soul won’t be thirsty anymore.”
― Donald Miller
This is all part of the story your Dad will share with God and there’s lots to like. It is his story. A story where he helped many people, myself included. There are many stories still to be shared here at Mormon Stories I am sure. Go out and life your best life. No man, nor church has the power to stop that. You got the pen, enjoy the blank piece of paper.
I’m sending so much love to you all.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
Your husband/father is a hero who has actually saved the lives. I know this hurts for you but one day he will be vindicated and you will be able to be incredibly proud that he stood for the things that Jesus himself would have stood for. While it is difficult today, I hope you can find a way to continue to stand with John/Dad. As much as you need him, he needs you, and there are a lot of us who depend on his voice because we do not have the courage or the attention that he has. There are thousands of us who also stand with you. You are making a sacrifice and that is heroic too.
With love and gratitude – Jennifer
Your dad has done more to bridge gaps, heal damaged souls, and alleviate suffering for members of this church than any other over the last 10 years. Pay no heed to the cowards who are excommunicating him for simply sharing truth and creating a space were honest dialogue from both sides of the isle can take place. Thank you for sharing him with us. Hold your heads high and be proud to be the wife and children of such a kind, noble, and brave man.
John is a little rough around the edges in the expression of his faith. However, his authenticity and honesty is unparalleled. In a church culture where anything but the suggestion that “I know” is unacceptable John has had the courage to suggest what he believes, doubts and simply doesn’t believe about the foundational claims of the church. That takes tremendous courage. I have no doubt that he would love nothing more than to fully believe it all. That would be SO MUCH EASIER. I have never taken anything he has said as an attack on the church, rather I have taken it as a man honestly expressing the limits of his faith and belief struggles. That is exactly what has attracted thousands of followers who simply want to have an open dialogue about their own faith struggles….a dialogue followers would prefer to have openly and honestly within the walls of the church. That kind of openness is not allowed. Doubt is portrayed as a dirty word. A faith crisis as a result of coming to terms with some very unfavorable church history. It can feel worse than falling off a five story building or having bricks fall on your head. To some people it is worse than death itself. Yes, people commit suicide over issues the church wants to suggest should not be spoken about in public. The question in my mind is not whether John Dehlin’s work and comments have saved someone from suicide, but how many have been saved? Ironically, the question is not whether someone has stayed in the church because of his work, but how many? Isn’t this the essence of an ideal Mormon? Not a person who shuts up and toes the line, but one who courageously puts himself out there and saves others through openness, honesty, and transparency? John Dehlin is an important conduit between the church and the disaffected that the church would be very smart to keep in the fold.
Dear Dehlin Family,
We send our love to you. Please do not allow others, whoever they are and whatever office they might hold, to make you feel in any way ashamed of the brave and honourable standard John has set in his pursuit of truth. So many people worldwide have benefitted because of John’s honesty and courage, so be proud of what he has accomplished. His example of real leadership has provided others with strength to open not only their eyes, but in some cases their mouths too, whereas those who presently choose to condemn John’s integrity, are as yet blind men, too weak to face the reality. There are many of us who metaphorically speaking stand shoulder to shoulder with John at this emotional time, asking the question: if he is to be challenged in this way, then why not us also? And we are ready to be heard. The tide is rising, and in due time the voice of history will justify you. Thank you to you all. You are not alone, and have many grateful friends.
We are here for you Dehlin Family! We love you. It is VERY HARD having an open mind where we live. You are strong. Keep on keepin’ on. Love, Christine Hunsaker
Doing the right thing comes at a cost. I hope that Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston can understand that. You’re doing a good thing, John, and I realize that telling kids it’s for a good cost sometimes doesn’t matter. I don’t have kids, but coming from my own parents the only thing I can suggest is that they ask you, John, about what’s happening, keep involved, and form their own opinion and let you know what they want as well. Just Keep Swimming.
I met John and Margi briefly at a Mormon Stories conference I went to near the very beginning of my transition out of the church. Both were very gracious, but most importantly, the conference itself was a wonderful opportunity to meet with people who understood what I had been going through. And I have felt the same thing from many of the Mormon Stories podcasts. They helped let me know I wasn’t alone during a time in my life that I felt very isolated. I can’t say whether the sacrifices John and his family have made were “worth it” in some cosmic sense, but they are absolutely, sincerely, recognized and appreciated.
Dear Dehlin family,
Sorry you have to suffer through this. I needed help dealing with an untraditional marriage I found myself in, my husband was gay. John was the only one talking about the issues I was dealing with, church, family, etc. I needed help and guidance and I appreciated his voice. It meant the world to me. I have since remarried and am still an LGBT ally. Glad I made it through a rough road and wish you the same. Hugs to all.
John,
I taught your daughter Maya in 8th grade. I was her history teacher. I knew who you were, but didn’t make the connection about your daughter until after she had left my class. I was impressed by Maya when she was in my class. She stood up for her beliefs. She stood up for gay marriage. That’s hard to do in 8th grade. It’s really hard to do in 8th grade in Cache Valley. I’m sure she gets it from you.
I have never met you, but I have listened to podcasts, followed you on facebook, etc. I think you are a hero. I admire what you have done.
Maya, your dad is a hero.
-David
Dear Dehlin family. I reach out to you from the worldwide community of Latter-day Saints to tell you that I think this this action is wrong, and to tell you that you are loved. I extend my love and warmth and strength and and peace to you. Always.
I resigned three years ago. It let the church off the hook. But I was not prepared to take the emotional hit that goes with holding my ground in things that I knew were right.
Margi,Anna,Maya,Clara,and Winston:
Hold your heads high and be extremely proud of yourselves. While the near-term impact of a very shortsighted decision by the church may be difficult and confusing, you should know what a critically important role John has played for so many individuals that have had honest, painful struggles trying to make sense of their beliefs in the church. John filled a vacuum created by the church’s inability to be honest and open with itself and its members. There is nothing more honorable that exploring and standing up for truth, honesty and openness. I met you all briefly at the social event for a Mormon Stories gathering in San Diego and it was clear that you are a very close family. Supporting John through all of the ups and downs of his exploration of Mormonism was likely very difficult at times but he made a huge difference to a lot of people as they explored their own relationship with Mormonism. For that you should all be very proud and honored to have him as your husband and father and I am sure he is honored and proud of you all. There are a lot of people wishing you and your family nothing but warm support and best wishes.
Margi and Family-
Simply put, your husband and father is a hero. His podcasts gave me hope and a new lease on life when I was facing struggles. He is a very Christ like man. He has been “willing to mourn with those that mourn; and comfort those that stand in need of comfort”.
Thank you for all of your sacrifices. Please know that you have the love and support of countless individuals.
I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I wish I knew what to say. I am immensely disappointed but appreciate you and all your work. P
My heart hurts for you guys. No one would put up a fight like that unless they truly loved what they were fighting for. It would be so much easier to leave. I’m not a member anymore; I left years before the movement for different reasons, but I deeply admire your strength. I want you to know that I’m rooting for you all. Stay brave!
So sorry Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston. It is hard to be judged for spreading a message of love and inclusion.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston
I want you to know what a huge difference your father has made in my life. For years I’ve struggled to find my place in the LDS church. It wasn’t until I found the work of your father that I finally found some peace. I want you to know that he is an amazing man. He is a leader and pioneer and you should be so proud of him. It takes a lot of courage, passion, and desire to do what he’s done. Don’t be bitter. Don’t be mad. This may seem silly… but today I am reminded of the wise words of Conan O’Brien after he was kicked off the Tonight Show (the job he’d dreamed of doing all his life). Here’s what he said: “All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” Hang in there…. and be kind. Much love to you and John.
To the Dehlin Family,
John has been a shining example of having integrity for the truth in our LDS community. Like many thousands of others, Mormon Stories has played an important role in my faith journey. You can be proud of your husband and father for his effort to broaden our spectrum of understanding and give voice to the voiceless. Living an authentic and faithful life is not about being a member of something; it is about increasing our understanding, empathy, and capacity to love others. Regardless of how things may turn out, John is to be commended for not wavering in the face of pressure. Now is the time to stand by him.
This type of discipline confirms so much of what is discussed on Mormon stories. Christian embraces others; corporatism makes other expendable when they don’t meet its demands. We will soon find out which one the Church leaders will represent.
Dear Dehlin family,
Your devotion to each other through all the ups and downs that your family has gone through is extraordinary. Each of you is made of strong stuff that has carried you through to this point. This excommunication is frightening. We are all holding our breath for you. No matter what happens, you have proven to the world a thousand times over that you are stronger, you have more fight, you have more conviction, you have more love than whoever judges you on any given day. Hold your heads up high and show up for another day, whatever nasty things they imagine about you or say to you. We’re here for you.
Best wishes.
To the Dehlin family-
John helped me stay in the church for several years after I stopped believing in it. He has helped thousands of people keep their marriages together and has even literally saved lives by the priceless work he has done. He has helped countless numbers of people find peace. Despite what some old guys in suits may think, he has been anxiously engaged in a good cause for many years now.
Although I am no longer a believer, the following hymn comes to mind:
Do what is right; be faithful and fearless.
Onward, press onward, the goal is in sight.
Eyes that are wet now, ere long will be tearless.
Blessings await you in doing what’s right!
Do what is right; let the consequence follow.
Battle for freedom in spirit and might;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!
John, your work has been pivotal in helping me to be a whole person. I have learned to love my Mormon relatives, forgive Mormon ancestors who were just doing the best they could, make dear friendships with women who have had similar journeys and teach my kids about their interesting history. I can not thank you enough for the good work you have done. Please don’t stop as you have many, many people who stand by you and love you.
For what it’s worth, to anyone willing to stop and listen, it is immediately apparent that John Dehlin is a man of great integrity. When I think of John and his interviews on Mormon Stories, words like sensitive, caring, open, honest, and “letting people speak in their own words” come to mind. In a word, decency. I would be proud to have a husband or father such as John. I believe in a small way we are truly seeing greatness in our own day, and no good deed goes unpunished, as they say.
I wanted to post here to show my support. I am one that doesn’t attend church anymore and it was your husband, John, that made me feel more accepted in the community I live in. Maybe not directly with him, but his podcasts and many stories he has shared has given me the courage to stand up for what I am and what I feel strongly about. My wife is a strong LDS member and I am not. Seeing how you and John have stayed together this long has given us hope that our marriage can work as well. It may not be easy all of the time, but the important thing is that we work at it every day and we are happier because of it. Thank you for allowing your husband to share his wisdom all of these years. I hope to see more from him after the outcome of this situation. Thank you again!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am an active, believing member of the church. And I would like you to know how much I have gained from, appreciated, and valued the work that your husband/father has done on Mormon Stories. My heart, mind, and testimony has expanded because of the many interviews that John has conducted over the years. My faith has matured and deepened, and Mormon Stories has been a part of that.
My heart breaks for your family in John having to face this church court. In my view, John is doing such an important, needed work. I see him as a true Christian in trying to help many Mormons feel understood, accepted, and loved. May you feel the Savior’s love in a very real, tangible way during this difficult time.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston ~
Hey guys…my name is Derek. After an amazing full-time mission in Brazil, I was sealed and married to my wife in the Salt Lake temple in June of 2007. Next week, after 2 adorable kids and another on the way, we’ll be celebrating our 7 year anniversary. My story is the same as most on here….I wasn’t looking for it, but stumbled upon the questions I “never knew I never knew”. Let me reiterate; after a lifetime of membership and service, mission, Elders Quorum President, etc….I never knew. My wife doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to talk about it. I love her and never want to hurt her, and therefore have been alone to my thoughts. I don’t know your husband/dad personally, but listening to his pod-casts has helped me through such a life-altering time. I often asked myself “how doesn’t everyone know this? How can this house built upon a foundation of sand NOT FALL?!” It’s because not enough are as strong as John to stand strong and ask the questions we’re all too afraid to ask. Not to be dramatic but if anyone in this was ever an actual martyr, it’s your Old Man! By the looks of it, he’s “taking one for the team”!
I love and appreciate all you do.
A resounding THANK YOU from Seu Amigo,
Derek.
Please know that you are loved by so many. Love each other. Love those who persecute you. Find peace and meaning in your journey.
My heart is broken that your family is facing this. I know that church discipline and excommunication is a difficult and scary thing – I went through it as a child when my father was excommunicated. It changes things. I just want you to know, though, that what your husband and father has worked on has changed my life for the better. He helped me to make sense of things that I’d been struggling with. He helped me know I wasn’t alone. I hope that your family will feel comfort and support through the coming days and months.
John,
You have helped me in more ways than you can imagine. When I had no one to turn to about my doubts, your podcasts became those “people.” I hope that your wife and daughters understand how wonderful you are. Thank you for all that you do. And to your family–thank you for sacrificing so that John could bring about a positive change in so many lives. Your behind-the-scenes sacrifices mean the world to so many people.
John and family, we are so sorry for this unwarranted attack on you. I believe in the ideals that John has tried to promote – that of widening the tent. It is so disappointing that the church cannot tolerate someone so giving and loving. Our thoughts are with you, and we stand behind you!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston–
I don’t know where I would be without the Podcast John started. I have admired his bravery to question the Church, and his bravery to stay in it. I’m sure I will admire his bravery as he handles this tough situation, too.
The podcasts–a few in particular–helped me discover who I was. John’s willingness to pressed forward and continue asking questions and building bridges between communities during times of his own personal has given me the courage to be–or try to be– who I am, and who I believe God would have me be.
Hang in there! John, you matter to *this* starfish.
John,
I was prejudice and rude over an internet conversation with my 1st cousin’s son who came out as gay recently. I was insensitive and spewed doctrine and chastisement. I then found your podcast about Mormons and supporting our gay and lesbian fellow members. I realized that my actions and those of many of us well intentioned people are part of the reason our youth are committing suicide and are depressed when they realized they are gay. My views, thanks to you, have changed. While not an avid vocal supporter, I have grown to love my cousin, her son, and commiserate with their frustrations and sadness in how they are treated in the Mormon community in which they live. I openly apologized to them for my actions. I don’t know what I would have done without your research, voice and advocacy for our LGBT church family.
You are much more help inside the Church than outside. Either way, keep singing, “Do what is right…let the consequence follow.” Who knew this would be the consequence. Ugg.
God bless your family and you through this.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I am so sorry for what is happening to your family at this time. I just want you to know how much Your dad and husband has helped me personally. At a time when no one could answer my questions and I felt all alone and my whole world felt dark, I could always find answers and hope in his podcasts. No one I knew could answer my questions but at least he was trying…taking this journey with me and helping to bind the wounds of so many who were hurting, spiritually bleeding. Thank you so much for your sacrifices, I hope at this time you will grow closer as a family and support each other. Family First! My love and prayers are with you all.
John I am disheartened to hear the news. Even though I have only met you a couple of times I see you as a mentor and friend. I am grateful to you for helping me keep a healthy perspective as I have navigated my faith journey. My love of the gospel has been cultivated and strengthened by your efforts.
Please share this with your wonderful family.
Love you brother!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston
Your father is a great man. That will never change. You may hear others say
negative things about him, but those people are fearful. Because he values truth more than blind, thoughtless obedience, he makes these people uncomfortable. These people fear doubt, yet doubt is the very basis of faith. There can be no real faith without doubt. Your husband/father honors that doubt and helps those with doubt to find an open forum to express it. Without such a forum, countless people suffer in silence and feel they are somehow broken.
Hugh B. Brown, an esteemed church leader from the past, said that we SHOULD question because truth will always win out. By not allowing questions to be explored freely and
openly, the current church leadership is acting afraid of the truth and training people to be afraid of asking questions, which is how we learn.
When I told my wife I was questioning, she was afraid at first. The church was central to our social connections in the small Utah town where we live. But as she starting exploring my questions, she decided to follow me out of the church. Our two oldest children were at BYU at the time, and we decided to go visit them the following Easter to break the news to them. We explained briefly
where we stood and why, then left them to decide on their own what path to follow. We promised to respect whatever choice they made. Our son took a year to finish his degree, then he followed us out of the church. Our oldest daughter is still active LDS, but
our youngest daughter is not.
There have been some awkward times, but the truly good people from our old ward are still our friends. Others have turned away, but that is their own problem. It hasn’t had a measurable impact on our jobs as teachers, and we have made new friends at a new church. There are a few things we miss about our old church, but we are happier now, and closer as a family. Our youngest daughter still has friends at school. It has turned out to be less of an issue than we thought it would
be.
Whatever happens to John, don’t let it come between you and him. If the church wrongly insists that he leave, that will not change what a great husband and father he is. You are very blessed to have him in your lives.
While we ultimately decided to leave the church almost a decade ago, I’ve been encouraged by people like john. I wonder where we would be now if there had been a safe middle ground for us to share our questions and concerns, rather than feeling as if we had to tow the line or get out.
Blind obedience to anything is always dangerous. You are lucky you have a father who is raising you to think critically and be true to yourself. Hopefully he is paving the way for you to have a safe place to do that within the church, if that’s what you choose.
Even as an ex member, I found your dad’s TED talk inspiring. I literally clapped at the end! Change takes guts and I know your dad has brought love and tolerance to many people through his activism. You should be proud!
Dear Margi and kids. Your father saved my life. He is doing God’s work, thank you for supporting him through this.
I’m proud to say “I know John Dehlin, he’s a courageous honest man, that gives of himself for the sake of others”.
To your beautiful family: Your dad is ahead of his time. He stands at the front, of the front lines taking the fire so others may pass.
Feel comfort in knowing that the dust will settle, and the majority will eventually catch up to where he is today.
John,
While I’ve known of the historical and doctrinal problems for several years I felt alone and insecure in that knowledge. Your podcasts helped me to recognize that others had also woken up.
My wife is R.S. President, and straight TBM. BUT, we both recognize that we value each other as people, and that we still like and love each other, and that goes a LONG way. It is possible to have a good marriage and family life, even with very differing views on Mormonism.
Our 16 year old daughter is about as spiritual, and in the church as you can get, but she too puts up with my lack of belief in the church, and loves me. So it is possible, and judging from the wonderful family you have, probably likely that things will work out.
Thank you for your tireless effort in bringing forth the truth.
I hope that God will bless and comfort your family in this very difficult time.
A friend in Idaho, formerly from Cache Valley.
Hi Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
The only words I can think to say right now are I love you. I was enraged when I heard the news about what the church is doing to your father. He was my first psychologist when I arrived at USU two years ago. I have no doubt in my mind that God crossed our paths because I needed to feel like I was a normal human being I would probably not have made it through my coming out process alive if he had not worked with me. John Dehlin has done so much to help better the LDS church by honestly taking on some very hard issues, and the fact that you all have stood by them for all of these years is truly admirable. Think of the story of Joan of Arch,she sought to liberate France from English and Burgundian oppression and was ultimately martyred for doing so. Your father is following in her foot steps by acknowledging and addressing the concerns of people that have doubts and now he is figuratively being martyred for doing what’s right. This isn’t easy but know that there are hundereds of us supporting you every step of the way (sorry for being so long winded)
Chris McKenna
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Sir Winston,
John Dehlin is a very good man who is paying a price (from an insecure organization) for essentially thinking out loud. This action says more about said organization than it does about your good dad and husband.
My very best wishes to all of you!
Dear Dehlin family–
I want you all to know that I regard your husband and father as a personal hero. I’ve never met him, but I’ve followed his work and benefited from his open mind. He has immense intelligence, courage and integrity, so much more than the small-minded men who are seeking to punish him.
I’m a doctor and we live in Colorado. My wife and I and our three children left the church 4 years ago. We did it together as a family. There were many dark moments, full of fear of the unknown, moments of intense regret and self-doubt. Our parents, siblings, church leaders and friends cursed us, pitied us, wept for us, tried to intimidate us, and eventually ignored us. We were ostracized and isolated by pretty much our entire social and family circle. It was like we were a disease, and everybody was afraid of catching our germs.
There were nights when my wife and I would tuck our kids into bed, then go down to our living room, sit on the couch, stare at the snow falling outside, and cry. We would cling to each other as if the rest of the world had dissolved beneath us, and we were the only two people left on earth. We’d go up to our children’s bedrooms, look at our daughter sleeping peacefully, and consider how different her future would look than what we had always planned for her. And again the fear and regret would creep in.
I’m not saying this to frighten you, but to let you know that those moments will come. And when they do, please know that you are not alone on this journey. There are many–tens of thousands of people, past, present and future–who know your pain, who admire your courage and integrity, who are reaching out to you know across time and space in solidarity, who will stand by you and support you in whatever way is possible.
It won’t be the same as going to sacrament meeting and feeling the warmth of 200 like-minded friends and leaders, or to a temple sealing and feeling that sense of security of knowing your eternal destiny, surrounded by your loved ones who feel the same.
But this is a necessary step on the archetypal Hero’s Journey. All who seek the Hero’s Path must face the fear of going it alone, of losing contact with all that is safe and familiar, of leaving the tribe into which they were born, of the agonizing pain of risking all in pursuit of truth.
You will all face that pain. You will suffer. But you will have each other. And one day soon, you will emerge from that darkness, stronger as individuals, stronger as a family, more certain of your place in the universe, more confident in your own integrity, more capable of loving others completely and unconditionally. Your mind will expand. And then you will be able to help the next heroes on their journey.
So although other people may paint your husband and father as a villain, know that he is the opposite. He is a hero, to me and many others.
Best wishes to all of you on this journey,
Mark
I am so sorry to hear that you and your family are having to go through this. This must be so difficult. I applaud John’s bravery, but it is unfortunate that you all have to suffer. Please know that he, as well his family, are loved by many people.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston,
I’ll keep it short. I might be dead right now if it wasn’t for the efforts your husband/father has made with mormon stories.
I love John, he is a true hero!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m sorry for your pain and heartache. I grew up in a small town in your same valley. I can relate to the social challenges that come as a result of a family member doing something counter to the culture. While the actions of one of my family members was truly disgraceful, you have the satisfaction of knowing that your family’s actions have been nothing but honorable. It takes integrity and a genuine caring heart to do what your father has done. He has helped so many be able to accept and love themselves even if they don’t fit the TBM Mormon mold. I am so grateful for his presence. Walk tall Dehlin Family, God knows the intents of your hearts and that is all that matters. Wishing you Peace, Joy, and Love
John has been like the voice crying in the wilderness during an incredibly distressing crossroads of our spiritual live, when all around seemed to be crumbling – and there was no-one to turn to who understood. His support of – and love for the truth was like a beacon and helped my husband and I begin to realise that we were NOT the only ones stranded on an island of confusion and disillusionment, as we struggled to come to terms with previously unknown (to us) Mormon history.
I believe that John’s ceaseless work over the years has been a blessing to thousands and has saved people’s sanity, marriages and lives. When members, bishops, stake presidents and the church hierarchy have turned aside and left them abandoned, John has been like the good Samaritan.
Thank you John… and to his family, who have without doubt felt the struggles and paid the price of sharing him with so many others. Stay strong and united. God bless you all – and thank you.
Dehlin Family,
I don’t know any of you, but I want to thank you. In 2010, while listening to a general conference talk, I experienced what many call a “faith crisis.” I didn’t even know that term; I was a very active member (returned missionary, former MTC employee, pioneer ancestry, parents in the Mormon Tabernacle choir… The list goes on!)
Anyway, I felt like my entire world had collapsed. One of the first things I found was John’s “stay LDS” website. At the time, I felt like I was on a sinking ship and John’s words were my life preserver. Of course, I soon started gobbling up Mormon Stories and have since been a supporter.
My husband and I just want to add our voices to the many other voices here and thank you for sharing John and supporting him even when it has been difficult.
I wanted to add, that we now consider ourselves “postmo’s” and that our lives are wonderful. It’s great to live with integrity, and we are grateful every day that we made the choice to move on.
We wish you all the best and hope your community will be kind!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston:
I remember when I first started listening to Mormon Stories. I devoured episode upon episode. Some made me sing with joy, some made me cry, some clarified and some confused. But beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am still in the Church because of John. Your dad/husband has done so much for so many people. He’s been a strong voice through this transitional phase in Mormonism. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have. I’m praying for you guys.
Margi, and kids,
This new makes me so sad because I can tell how much John loves the church. My husband and our 4 children (who are roughly the same ages as you), made the extremely difficult decision to resign from the church about 3 years ago. This was following several years of searching, praying and trying to make things work within the church. Your husband/dad helped us so much while we were struggling and I don’t know if we would have survived as in intact family without his podcasts. I know that this will be hard on you, but if your ward is anything like ours they will still love you. I am still so impressed at how well all of our member friends reacted to the news of our resignation. Please know that you have helped so many people by supporting John. THANK YOU!
To Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston
I don’t know all of the reactions you’re going to experience as a result of the action being taken against your dad, but I imagine it could include people saying something mean, or excluding you, or acting differently towards you, even though you are the same person you were before. They might tell you your dad is a bad person and they might not listen to why that isn’t true.
For the people that your dad helps – LGBT members and members who are doubting and those who leave the church, but still have families who are in the church – this is the kind of thing that they experience every day. And that doesn’t make it fair that you might have a hard time – not at all! But if things do happen that upset you, I hope you’ll remember that this is the kind of hurt your dad is trying to stop. And it’s the right thing to do.
I don’t think that your Dad could have done all he’s done to help people if he didn’t have your love and support and that of your mum. Thank you for being there for him. Thank you for helping him have fortitude and keep moving forward. I hope you also get kind and supportive reactions from people over this. I hope there are many who surprise you and that you find out that many agree with your dad’s activism.
Margi and kids,
This new makes me so sad because I can tell how much John loves the church. My husband and our 4 children (who are roughly the same ages as you), made the extremely difficult decision to resign from the church about 3 years ago. This was following several years of searching, praying and trying to make things work within the church. Your husband/dad helped us so much while we were struggling and I don’t know if we would have survived as in intact family without his podcasts. I know that this will be hard on you, but if your ward is anything like ours they will still love you. I am still so impressed at how well all of our member friends reacted to the news of our resignation. Please know that you have helped so many people by supporting John. THANK YOU!
As we told our 6 yo about the news today, her words were “there is always room in our house and our church. (John’s) family can come stay with us andcome to our church. They can sleep in my room and I can sleep on the floor.”
Take hope that the priesthood can not be used to exercise unrighteous dominion, your family can still be eternal, God still loves your whole family.
Thank you to John for the great help he has been to me as I grope in the dark seeking for a relationship with Christ that The Church has failed to show me in the last 28 years.
John’s family,
Your father is a hero to me. His kindness, love, and selflessness is inspiring.
I’m sorry that it has come to this and that you may be hurt by this. Please understand that he has helped countless others in significant ways, including myself.
John: sincere thanks for all you have done. There is a good reason why your work resonates with so many people. Although you do have lovely teeth and are a snappy dresser, Mormonstories is much bigger than you, and I hope you’d take that as a compliment (as intended). Your wife and kids will be fine. If you chose inauthenticity, you and your family would have a different set of pain and trials to deal with–probably worse in the long run. –unless the church brings back the Danites and blood atonement–not that I want to give them any ideas.
Margi–thanks. You might disagree with my comment about John being a snappy dresser, but you’ve gotta admit he has lovely teeth.
Kids–pick up after yourself. Mind you mum and dad. Study hard. Chart your own course, make great friends, be a great friend. You guys will be fine! Really. The drama will fade, and you will be in your routine of normal life–pick up after yourself, mind your mum and dad, study hard, blah blah blah. Your dad is doing something that is very important to him, and very helpful and important to a lot of other people. That is very cool.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I don’t need to tell you that your father is a good man. Nor to point out how many lives he’s touched through his sincere approach. Nor how meaningful the community he’s created has been to so many! It’s obvious by the comments that precede mine.
I grew up in North Logan. It’s my home, and that of many family and friends. And as long as it is, the name of any Dehlin is safe in my circles. You don’t need to look to a future time for the love and support of those around you. It’s here. We love you. We support you.
John and family,
I am a former Mormon living in Salt lake City with my wonderful husband and 2 tiny kids. Living here has been trying on my soul for so many years. I find so many of the church’s teachings to be damaging to not only members but, since the church is so overwhelmingly dominant here I don’t think it can be escaped by those who do not attend. John’s activism has brought me so much hope and relief that there are those fighting from “the inside”. I didn’t want to spend my life fighting fit something that didn’t really love me back so I left and am so very happy outside the church but I can understand and respect why you choose to stay. Please know that your work (I say your meaning all of your family) is helping so very many. The conversations and issues that your husband and Dad is having so very thoughtfully and respectfully are so very important. He has provided a home for so many to have a dialoge that, at least in Utah, is so very badly needed. I worry a little less about my children being here because of John and his work. If there is a God THIS is his work. My heart and my thoughts are with you all. Please know there are thousands and thousands of people who love and support you. If I can ever do ANYTHING to help any of you please feel free to reach out. I am a member of the Mormon stories podcast group on Facebook.
All the love in the world,
Mickelle Weber
Salt Lake City
Dear Margi,
I really want you and your children to known what a great impact you and John and your children have on us personaly and for a lot of swedish members. Thank you Dehlin family for everything you have done. It was a sweet uplifting experience me and Hans had last year meeting with you and John.
We think of you a lot and hope you and your family will manage to get trough this stronger together.
With so much love,
Birgitta Mattsson
Dear Dehlin family,
A faith crisis is the hardest thing to deal with especially totally alone. I don’t know if I would have survived had I not found John and Mormon Stories. Please know you have made a difference in my life and I will always be grateful.
John’s writing and podcasts have been very helpful in allowing me to heal the wounds of separating from a culture that no longer serves the world. Don’t let local judgment get you down. They are an extremely small part of a large world that doesn’t need Mormonism anymore. Find peace in prayer, meditation and well rounded friends
To Johns family,
My heart goes out to you at this time, I can only imagine the turmoil that you must be going through.
Had it not been for your husband/dad, I would not be able to navigate through my own faith crisis which I am currently experiencing. Knowing that I was not alone and that there was support out there has been a life saver. It is sad that this support is not offered from within the church and then you would not be experiencing the pain you are.
John you are a man of integrity, compassion, courage and possess an amazing strength that has seen your through your own faith crisis thus far. I wish there was a way followers of Mormon Stories could all be there for you now as you have been for us.
I wish you all well. I know the Lord will protect you and in some way ease your burdens at this time.
Love and support
Tracy Parkes-Brookes
Perth, WA
Dear Dehlin Family,
John and each of you are beautiful flowers in a wonderfully diverse field! The work John does and the support you all give saves lives and spreads light and love far and wide. Never regret the good you do and the good you stand for together! “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” Let this trial strengthen your resolve to love. Move forward unified and continue to let your light so shine. Love and mad respect to you all!
-Eric
To John’s family:
What John’s work with Mormon Stories did for me is not possible to adequately put into words. My life is so much more peaceful, true, authentic, and joyful on a deep level than I ever knew it could be. Mormon Stories was a safe place for me when there was none other. The courage and humility offered by the people involved in those podcasts, and then my local community that rose around them, allowed me to fill my own skin, to find my voice, to feel that I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t alone.
Whatever may happen, I am grateful to the bottom of my heart for the work of John and Mormon Stories. My whole family thanks your whole family. Namaste.
I am proud to know John. When I first discovered the uncomfortable truths about the Church and its history, it was a very dark time for me. John (and a few others) were the beacons that provided some hope for me while I was discovering my own path. I have much appreciation for what he has done. You all (and Kate) are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston, i want you to know what a great man John is. I respect him more than just about anyone I know. I just wanted to let you know that he’s well loved.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
Your husband and father’s work made a tremendous difference in my life when I had nowhere to turn. He is an honest man who recognized the need to be truthful and authentic with himself and others; and as a consequence, he has helped so many people find love and acceptance for who they are as individuals. Maybe it might seem alienating for you right now, but outside your small town, just know that there are thousands and thousands of people who love and support the strength and support your father has shown others and who also recognize that there is a very loving and accepting family behind his work. Just know that we are thinking about and praying for you to have a peaceful mind and heart. Truth is so much more important than the validation from those who refuse to understand or listen to a view different from their own. I hope that as you encounter ignorant comments and rejection from others, you will remember that there are so many who genuinely love and support you. Peace and love to your family.
Caveat – I am probably in the severe minority here writing as a faithful member who has appreciated many of the interviews John has conducted.
* Remain faithful in the Church and hold on to the goodness of its community, people, and doctrines
* Anything good can become vitriolic when you surround yourself with enough people who help you believe otherwise
* If you choose to remain in the Church, seek thoughtful yet faithful mentors such as Philip Barlow, Teryll & Fiona Givens, and Adam Miller
* Remember that our religion ultimately rests on the relationship between God and Apostles who act as his servants. Forgive these men their weaknesses, but recognize that following them is an expression of your faith in God and in this religion
* The essence of the Gospel is to drink the bitter cup without becoming bitter
* Don’t let your father’s relationship to God and the Church define your relationship to them. Case in point: LDS Apostle Matthew Cowley had a well-intentioned but obstinate father who was removed from the leading councils of the Church for his stances against church policy and procedures, but still chose to remain faithful.
Dehlin Fam,
Support and love from the Sullivan family. Having had the surprising experience that we have, we know that whatever you create for the future ahead, we are confident that you will have every possibility for happiness:)
Dehlin Fam.
God bless you all! What is being done here to John, Kate and others, in my name, is not right. John’s work, among others, has given me hope for a better future for this church and a reason to stay. It appears that was in vain. Regardless, thank you all for your sacrifice. You are in my thoughts.
Dehlin Family,
Despite what others may say, you should be proud of your dad and husband. Remember John has added more to the fabric of Mormon culture than 99% of the active LDS population. Be proud. Appreciate his contribution and the thousands of lives he has helped. Don’t be shy to remind “haters” of the good he has done.
All the best.
From the New York Times:“I worry that the church is kind of shooting the messenger,” [John Dehlin] said of the excommunication notices. “They’re shooting the people who are trying to help and be part of the solution.”
Yep. John’s message of moderation and tone of love backed me down months ago from resigning and burning a whole lotta bridges. Thanks to his wife and children for being a support for accomplishing so much Good.
To all,
May you find peace in these difficult times. Know always that goodness, virtue & courage, all of which your father display, are independent of authority. He’s been a source of inspiration and comfort to me over the last few years and may he continue to be so for you.
Best,
Parker
“To fight the good fight is one of the bravest and noblest of life’s experiences. Not the bloodshed and the battle of man with man, but the grappling with mental and spiritual adversaries that determines the inner caliber of the contestant. It is the quality of the struggle put forth by a man that proclaims to the world what manner of man he is far more than may be by the termination of the battle.
It matters not nearly so much to a man that he succeeds in winning some long-sought prize as it does that he has worked for it honestly and unfalteringly with all the force and energy there is in him. It is in the effort that the soul grows and asserts itself to the fullest extent of its possibilities, and he that has worked will, persevering in the face of all opposition and apparent failure, fairly and squarely endeavoring to perform his part to the utmost extent of his capabilities, may well look back upon his labor regardless of any seeming defeat in its result and say, “I have fought a good fight.”
As you throw the weight of your influence on the side of the good, the true and the beautiful, your life will achieve an endless splendor. It will continue in the lives of others, higher, finer, nobler than you can even contemplate.”
― Hugh B. Brown
Sweet Dehlin Family –
My heart is breaking for you as you are going through this incredible trial. My Husband is not believing – and this is only important to point out so you can know that I have a small taste of what it feels like to be impacted by decisions of your loved ones.
There is nothing anyone can say to ease your pain – but please know, that in time, things will be better. The light will be brighter. I sit here and mourn with you who mourn. I’m not sure what more I can say other than I have felt a peace surrounding this situation that Heavenly Father will make it right. He will not forsake you.
Please know that your efforts to be supportive of your Husband and Father have not been in vain. There are many who stand with you. Please know that I am among them. My love and prayers to you all.
God bless your husband and father for having the strength to host a podcast that has changed so many people’s lives.
John Dehlin has helped me to reconcile my feelings with the religion that I have been raised in and love. His podcasts and earnest endeavors to find and share truth has helped me curb anger and find peace with the LDS church. Ironically, it is his outspoken views that has gotten him I to this situation that has made me feel closer to the church and far less angry.
Thank you, John, for your work. It has meant the world to me.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I wish I could meet you.
Please be aware of how many lives John has improved through his and your work.
Remember that each of you are in charge of your own identity. Institutions may influence you for better or worse. History and genetics are beyond your control. But the goodness of your hearts – your wonderful qualities that you possess are your own to keep and to share. They aren’t gifts for which gratitude should be exacted. You are yours.
You have been trying to make Christians out of Mormons. This is not an easy thing to do. I have been trying for years to do the same thing. My prayers and best wishes will be with you during your struggle with those who must be right at any cost.
Dear Dehlin Family, My faith crisis is perhaps the most distressing event in my life, I think perhaps I was on the verge of a mental break down. It was Johns work, his podcasts, his support in creating a community of acceptance and love for those who have doubts, that has kept me sane. I know of none other who has helped me more during this time than John. Thank you for loving your dad enough to share him with the rest of us shmucks. Truly grateful, thank you.
Hi John,
I’ve listened to your podcasts for 3 years now and love every one of them, from faithful to less so. I’m an active member of the Church with a calling, temple recommend, and 100% visiting teaching done. :) I hope that you’ll feel peace during this time. Love to you and your family.
John and Family- Thank you for being a voice for those that feel voiceless. Your personal sacrifices are not unacknowledged. Thank you for sharing your family, your support, your concerns, and your care with the broader world so that people don’t have to question in silence.
May you all find peace in your hearts through this difficult moment.
John’s was a stabilizing voice in my life while I was coming out of the closet. I will be forever grateful for his integrity in speaking up and speaking out.
John and family,
I am so sorry for the pain you may be feeling. Please know that the Mormon Stories podcasts have been a huge blessing to my life and have assured me that I was not alone. I feel I am a better person and a better mother because I was able to be inspired through those podcasts. I will forever be greatful for your family’s bravery and courage. Please know you are not alone and that many stand wanting to help. Love to your family.
I am saddened by the news. The news reflects much more poorly on the church than John. I was in a very dark place until I found Mormon Stories. I thought I was losing my mind because not everything fit together as tidy in my mind as it did for others at church. I felt depressed after church every week and dreaded every Sunday. I came across the article in New York times about Hans M. and listened to my first Mormon Stories podcast. Pretty soon I was listening to dozens of podcasts on MS by people who felt and thought the same as I. Finding Mormon Stories was one of the best things that ever happened to me and my faith. I felt like I finally found some like-minded people. I feel indebted to John for the “therapy” Mormon Stories provides me. I am still active in the church but when I hear all the “crazy” at church that used to send my head spinning, I just relax and think of my people at Mormon Stories. I’ve even used many inspiring quotes from John’s interviews to share with my son serving a mission. Thanks John for inspiring me and my family.
The Mormon church is turning into a communistic society. I predict the pews at church will eventually fill only the narrow-minded or people who get the power rush from their church callings. Where is the integrity of the LDS church? For example, instead of announcing at General Conference we are 15 million plus strong, why don’t they relay the REAL number of active members? If feels like the general authorites are lying right to my face. Anyone who serves a mission knows that the active membship list is really low. Why don’t they confront some of the church history issues? Why don’t they confront the fact that so many people are leaving? Personally, I know many stellar families in my life whom have recently left due to the church’s historical deceptions and general authority rants against gays. These are the real problems facing the church, not the gays or women and priesthood ladies. Mormon Stories is one of the few vessels where truth is shared in a thougtful way. I find it ironic that the church claims so much real estate on “truth” and “love” and then directly contradicts itself by ousting people who share actual historical truths or extend love to the disenfranchised /sidelined members at church (esp. gays).
Sadly LDS are losing their most talented, thoughtful and brightest people. I can’t imagine Christ would condemn the doubters-even doubting Thomas was one of HIS apostles.
Lately, I’m so embarrassed to tell people I’m Mormon, It’s shameful the publicity the church is drawing for its anti-gay stance. Especially when the church CLAIMS it is NOT political. (Note to Mormon Church-take a closer look of the example of Pope Francis.) I’m certain the church’s GA strong condemnations from the pulpits will turn into another Mormon HIstory blunder.
John, I think you would have a lot more peace living outside of Utah. But I also think the struggling LDS people in Utah need you. You have a potential blossoming practice in Utah for so many gays and stuggling lds members. I hope you have a prospersous career from all your studies, time, energy, suffering…. you certainly deserve it.
I hope you don’t feel defeated by this. With all due respect, you are one of my heros.
Because of John’s work, I wasn’t alone during one of the most difficult trials of my life. His websites, podcasts, and communities gave me the hope and validation that I needed to climb out of my own sadness and confusion. I met two amazing friends through the Mormon Stories facebook community, and they have been such a support to me. I have learned more about my faith and religion than I ever would have otherwise. I am happy now, I had the strength to do what was right for me, and it was all facilitated by John.
I admire his advocate work for LGBT persons, and his feminism. I look up to John. I appreciate all that he has done for the LDS community, and I know he could not have done it without the love, support, and patience of his dear family. Thank you for your sacrifices and thank you for sharing your John with us. I live in Utah, and I am proud to be neighbors with the Dehlin family.
Oh how I wish we could form a stake or two or 10 (maybe more) with all the people that John has helped. His work is important. The communities he has created/influenced are many. The validation he has brought to the struggles and pain of so many can not be overstated. I know that for me, personally, Mormon Stories have helped me reframe my relationship with both the LDS church and God. I’m forever grateful to John for all his sweat and tears, and am deeply saddened that some in the church think he doesn’t belong among us. His heart is big and good.
MargI, John, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston. I am your Dad’s cousin and I only met you guys that one time I was at your house last year….but you guys are really the greatest. You have learned how to shine in amazing ways…I was so impressed by your open hearts and love of life, and I knew that you couldn’t have become such amazing people at such young ages without the help of amazing parents.
I hope that you guys don’t suffer for the misunderstandings people have about your brave parents. They have chosen to stand up for right, and that stance doesn’t come easy. I know that you guys are going to also follow in that tradition and be understanding of those who are hurt, and those who suffer and those who are ostracized, and stick up for them, even when it comes at a cost. That cost might be friendships. That cost might be standing in your community. However, there is nothing better in life than to be able to hold your head high. You belong to a family that is outstanding and you can hold your heads high with pride in the example your parents are setting for thousands of people who are watching them and being inspired by them.
I love you guys, and I love your parents. I love your aunts and uncles and grandparents. You have a lot to be proud of!
Dear Dehlin family,
John has made such a difference in my life and the lives of many others. He is such a Christ-like person and his work is so important. Your family will be in my prayers.
Cynthia Burnham
I have always been impressed by John’s honesty. I can’t say the same for church leaders. Blessings to each of you.
I’m very honored and grateful to know John. I value his insight. It is the product of honest, humble and fearless pondering. Evidently he has courage. If he is full of guile and this is all part of a scheme to gain publicity then he is really, really amazing at hiding his guile and stupid for not using said guile to earn piles of cash in other ventures. And, since I’m being honest- I envy his skill with social media. I just wanted to add my name to the list of vocal support for him. Happily, I can tell by the length of the list above that I, and consequently you, are not alone. Best wishes and happiness!
My heart and prayers are with your family. This is a pain so many of us feel with you. Im so deeply saddened.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Your father is a hero. He helped save my life. 7 years ago I was going through hell and your father helped pull me out of it. Since then I have served 2 deployments to Afghanistan as a Combat Medic in the US Army. I would never have made it to where I am today without him and others like him. Thank you for standing by your dad. I would be honored to do the same.
With much love and heartfelt gratitude,
-Dan Christiansen
John, you are the direct inspiration for so many positive changes I’ve made in my life, particularly my decision to become an outspoken LGBT ally. Thank you for your courage.
As a convert becoming aware of my church’s anti-LGBT* stance, I became so disheartened. It was John’s work that helped me want to stay in the church. I had hope others could change their homophobia once they understood through his and others’ true callings of bringing love and understanding. I am grateful for that. I hope this doesn’t sound like I am dismissing the profound impact his excommunication could have on the family, but I see it as a badge of honor.
— LDS mom of 3
Dehlin Family: thank you and I’m sorry. Thank you for being supportive. Thanks for helping someone out in Denver, CO that you didn’t even know. Thanks for being so generous.
I’m sorry you all have to go through this. It isn’t fair. But I want you to know that I’m so grateful. Thanks for sharing your family with me when I felt so alone. It made getting through things easier. I hope you are all able to get through this a little bit easier too knowing how much we all appreciate you. With love,
Tanner
To the family,
You know your dad is awesome, and he’s awesome because he’s actually a man who won’t treat you poorly depending on your views of something.
If your friends or people around you treat you poorly, well, in some ways that’s no different than what you imagine the Mormon pioneers experienced for their beliefs.
Change sucks, but few people have ever complained about finding out who their real community really was.
Dehlin Family,
Your father is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and has honestly made the world a better place. The world can be a harsh and cruel place, and generally that comes about when someone is willing to go out of their way to do something GOOD. John, his blog, and his example have helped me tremendously, and though this situation is difficult and extremely tough, know that he has helped many thousands of people with his example. We all stand behind him and your family.
Excommunication is a violence of the worst kind. It is a hypocritical lashing out at one who challenged the status quo. Hypocritical because Jesus taught us to love our enemies. I hope your wife and children come to know what a brave man you are.
My partner & I joined the church a year ago. Your podcast has kept us sain. We love you & your family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Remember Heavenly Father loves all! Always & at all times. It’s pure.
Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I was devastated today to learn of the pending disciplinary councils for your father and for Kate Kelly. Thank you so much for enduring chaos in your own lives for those of us who (in our own struggles) desperately need to hear the voices that John has brought to us through his podcasts. Know this: John’s courage has inspired me to do what I can to make the church a safer place for people who see things a little differently. One day I will find the courage to go public with my identity, and more importantly, with my belief that everyone in the church should be able to have their voice heard without fear of being maligned or spiritually abused. When I do, I hope my children will forgive me. Bless you all.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m confident you’ll see thousands of notes just like this, so I’ll be brief. The work John has done has helped me navigate my own crisis of faith and has been instrumental in helping keep my marriage and family together despite strong differences about important church related issues.
I am so grateful for all he as done and the support you have given him to allow him to help me and so many others. I’m sorry for what you are all having to go through, but I’m so glad you all have the courage to stand up and help so many people, like me, that you’ve never met, and in turn given us the courage to stand up for what we believe.
Wishing you the best,
Brian
John – you have been such a huge blessing in my life during the last few years. I have spent countless hours listening to your podcasts and reading on mormon stories. Thank you for all that you have done for our community!
To the Dehlin family – Thank you for allowing your husband and father to help so many during some of the hardest times of our lives. He has done, and will contiune to do much good.
Thanks to you both, and I will stand with you!
Hi Margi and Dehlin kids,
I think you’re all beautiful and I’m proud to share some DNA with you. I know this has been a struggle…the whole Mormon Stories thing from the beginning. But the work you and John have done has been a huge support to me. Any testimony I have has been maintained through the things I’ve learned from the community. So thank you.
All my love,
Cousin Gretta (Parkinson) Whalen
From the Church’s response: “Decisions are made by local leaders and not directed or coordinated by Church headquarters.” How can this be if both of you (Ordain Women founder and you) received threats in the same week?
https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-responds-to-church-discipline-questions
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston –
Your dad has been a brave leader in standing up for the truth and showing the world that there is always more than one version of a story. I anticipate that your lives will change due to all that is going on, and people you know in school, work and neighbours may even treat you differently, however, please know that there are more people who support your dad than there are active members of the church in Utah.
At some point, I hope that you all are able to live for a period of your lives outside Utah, you will find that the rest of the world is not like Utah, and that you can see how the normal part of the world lives (and believes).
God bless and you have our support.
Brandon
Dear Dehlin family,
I have probably listened to every episode on Mormon Stories, but I have never committed before. Like many of the other posters on here, I too found Mormon Stories when I was in a crisis of faith. It was back in 2007, and I had nobody to talk to. Mormon Stories was my lifeline, it literally saved me and my family from great despair. I guess what I am trying to say is thank you John and thank you the Dehlin family for allowing him to perform a little small miracle in my life and my family’s life.
John and family –
My life has been plagued with guilt, shame, and self-hate. The Mormon stories podcasts and communities have allowed me to breathe again, to truly taste of an authentic life of love and honesty. Thank you for sharing John and his talents with those like me who would otherwise be drowning in sorrow and fear. His capacity to love, inform, and reach people on a spiritual level is an asset to the world–independent of institutional or organizational creed.
God bless
Your father and husband has done so much for so many. He is in the right despite what you may hear whispered about. Please give him your love and full support. Never turn on him. I wasn’t afforded that when I started leaving the church. He deserves your love.
Mormon Stories was a light amidst the darkness I felt after reading Rough Stone Rolling and not having anyone I felt comfortable talking to about my questions. I thank you all for the light and knowledge that have impacted me and helped me stay in the church knowing there were others out there that felt as I did. I went through the hundreds in podcasts in a few months after learning about it last year and check everyday for new ones! I appreciate that John is completely genuine and loving despite the implications against him for his transparency. I often feel like so many members put on a facade and shut down any thought contrary to the elders. It was refreshing to have someone just be open and honest about the truth, the pain, and the concerns others refuse to face. And there is no other podcaster I’ve come across that is as interesting and we’ll spoken as John. My heart goes out to you and your family!
Dehlin family,
The hardest thing I’ve ever gone through has been my faith crises. My world came crashing down and I had no idea what to do. My ward, family and friends wouldn’t talk about it, so I found myself very alone. My husband directed me to Mormon Stories and it was so refreshing and helpful to know that others had questions even Edward Kimball who was Spencer Kimball’s son. I emailed your dad and he emailed me back within minutes to tell me about a support group where I live. Your dad a complete stranger showed me more love and compassion than people I have known most of my life or for many years. Thank you Dehlin family for letting your dad/husband help me and so many others. We all know what a sacrifice this has been for all of you. Hang in there and remember that the most thing is family. Love to you all.
Remember, In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me.
All of the wonderful things your dad has done for so many has been noticed not only by people, but by God. I fully disagree with what the Church Leaders are choosing to do, and that scripture applies to them also, but your dad/husband has touched and helped so many that I know he has nothing to fear. Judgment is God’s job. He alone knows the hearts and minds of men.
This is a sad and dreadful thing they are choosing to do. Peace be with you. Your family has more love and support than you could ever know.
Remember you are loved. We stand strong besides you two and your families <3
Thanks for all the great work you’ve done. Your influence is strong and greatly appreciated by myself and many others. Seriously. Thank you.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
The mormonstories podcasts have helped me in more ways than you can imagine. It has helped keep our family together and helped us to understand each other better. To the kids, your dad loves you more than you can ever imagine. What the church hierachy has chosen to do (which I completely diagree with) is not ANY kind of statement about his value, worth or worthiness. There are so many people that he has helped become closer to Christ by having the courage to deal with issues that so many others cannot. I hope that you will be met with nothing but unconditional love and acceptance, which is what Christ taught and what the Church claims to espouse.
Mormon stories helped me through a tough time in my life. Thanks for what you have shared John. I don’t always agree with you, but I do admire you and wish you luck.
Dear Dehlin family,
I can’t tell you how outraged and saddened I was to hear about what’s happening. John is a tremendous force for good in the church and in the world. His podcasts have given me perspective on my doubts and hope when I needed it the most. I am inspired by his research on and interviews with LGBT Mormons and his work to make the Church more inclusive and accepting of those who doubt and those who don’t fit the mold.
I’m so sorry that the tremendous good you’ve done is being rewarded with pain, but please know that John is a hero to me and many others. I’m reminded of the story of Nehemiah trying to rebuild Jerusalem against all odds, who when faced with distractions responded “I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down.” John is doing a great work, and you are doing a great work in standing with him. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I appreciate so much all that John has done to help those of us seeking answers about the LDS church. Before I heard about his podcasts I felt so alone and emotional. I have found so much peace knowing that it is ok to ask questions and that there are other people who are struggling with issues just like me.
I know it must be tremendously difficult for your family to have people think you are an apostate. I hope you will remember that even though some may feel that way, there are so many others who do not. Much love and prayers for your sweet family.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston;
My heart hurts today by the lack of love and compassion that has been shown to your father and husband who has been such a help to so many people who bear heavy burdens. John’s example of turning the other cheek, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and loving those that have despitefully use you has been a source of great admiration to me. He is a father, and husband that you should be proud of. I’m so sorry for this difficult time. You all deserve so much better than this.
John Dehlin is a hero! Where most knees tremble, his are steady. Where most people look away and refuse to face reality, he stands tall. Where many hide in anonymity, he stands bravely in the light of day, where many are embarrassed, he has no shame. Where others pass a wounded stranger on the road, he is the good Samaritan, where most have a heavy bias, John strives to consider all viewpoints and the opinions of others. Thanks to John Dehlin and his family for all of the service rendered to the LDS community, and the sacrifices made to be who you are, and accomplish all that you have.
Please know that John, through Mormon Stories podcasts and the Facebook page for me and many people I know, has been a light of hope! Hope that maybe we do not have to abide by a bad culture? One that hides and alters Truth! That we can Share our opinions and doubts with anyone we want! Instead of the culture that says “never discus your doubts with anyone else.. You might Damage their Testimonies!.. That is not how Christ operated and not a loving way to live.
Though I can not imagine the anguish and adversity you and your beautiful family (especially teenagers) are going through.. Isn’t it better that they see the shinning example of your husband and their dad standing up to exclusion and questioning some Very Wrong goings on!?
Sending you and your family love and support in this trying times! “Right is Might”!
Sincerely, Susan
If there is a God, he would value honesty more than conformity. John Dehlin has more integrity than the leadership of the LDS Church. My immediate family who have been sucked dry with time and money to this church will end with this generation! It’s a relief to me that Mormonism will not continue with my grandchildren.
John is a f*cktard who shouldn’t be shocked that this happened.
He says he loves the church but yet tells people to live by their own rules when he, and everyone else, knows that the church only wants there members living by the church’s rules.
Margi run while you still can.
I found such comfort in some of the podcasts your father and husband helped create and share. My husband shared his unbelief in the Church 2 years ago and it shook my world. I found a podcast that night about how to handle things when your spouse leaves the Church. I listened to entire thing in tears because the concerns she had I was having and it made me feel like although it would be hard we could make our marriage still work. I also listened to the parenting podcast about how to raise children in a mixed-faith marriage. I found such comfort in what John gas done and what he has shared. I know my husband did also look at many stories as he was transitioning and it helped him to make things easier on me and our children. I want you to know his grateful I am to John.
I have never met john however have been blessed to have him advocating for finding truth and peace. He has brought forth many of the questions my heart sought for years.
I am saddened the church is behaving in an archaic dark age way. John has helped thousands of members stay in the church.
One thing I do know is that what others think doesn’t matter what counts is how you present yourself and treat others. John has shown this in the kindest most accepting way possible.
John, Margi,Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston,
My love and support goes to all of you. It is not always easy to do the right thing. You are amazing people all of you. I hope that you each know how many people love and support you. Hang in there through the upcoming publicity.
We love you and wish you the best at a difficult time.
Dehlin family
I am sorry for what you are going through. I admire your father/husband greatly as I am sure you do. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what he has done and I know he couldn’t have done it without his wife and children. I have struggled in a very similar pattern as john and his messages resonate with me. I have found an enormous amount of strength and guidance through the mormon stories podcasts. Your family is not alone in this. Our family in SE idaho is in a very similar situation not far from you in Logan and you have our complete support, prayers, and good vibes! We are together, brothers and sisters navigating our faith. I hope our leaders see the man your father is and his tremendous heart and influence. All the best from our family to yours ,
Respectfully,
Friends from Idaho,
The Taylor’s.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
When my husband and I started questioning, our journey led us to Mormon Stories and your husband/father. He filled our empty vessels and we quickly found a safe home amongst his podcasts and facebook. He is, indeed, a hero and our wishes are that he and all of you remain strong. Hold your heads high because you have nothing to be ashamed of, nor to feel guilty over. Thank you for all you have done to support him. So much a part of who he is, is because of all of you. Thank you for supporting him and loving him. Now, we are supporting you and loving you.
Tim and Debbie Garvin, Barstow, CA
Dehlin Family;
I see John as a man of courage and honor. I hope you do to!
You will most likely feel ostracism from people you have known for a long time but know there are a lot of people who have your back. Don’t let the others get you down and think about all of us instead.
To John’s Family, John and to the public who may read this:
John and I do not know each other well but we have known each other since the beginning of the Mormon Stories podcast. John took the time to counsel me at a SLC Sunstone Symposium and he got nothing in return for doing so, but I will remember and deeply appreciate that day permanently.
I know that John does not like excessive adoration and I’m thankful for that and I won’t do that myself. I am not a “Dehlinite” as some threatened by his activism might call those of us who listen to his podcasts and follow his news. But I do stand by John for the truths he has been willing to state publicly and unapologetically. I even believe that at times John has bent over backwards to be friendly to all and to avoid rocking the boat to the point of sinking it.
Is John a hero? I don’t know. Will John’s apparent excommunication cause pain to his family and others? I would guess this will not be a pleasant experience to navigate.
I think all I can say is that John is Mormon to his core and wants to do what is right. Like so many of, he had the concept of the search for truth seared on his soul. John speaks truth and sometimes he speaks more than I myself am willing to. I’ve followed John long enough to know that despite his human weaknesses he desires truth to be made known. I don’t believe that he can be faulted for that. He can’t be faulted for sharing his deepest feelings (even in those moments when he is wrong) because he is just trying to live authentically.
Knowing and accepting this won’t necessarily make the social ostracism and other factors of a excommunication any easier for those close to John.
I feel unsettled over this entire matter because I will stand by what John stands for and will stand by John to the extent that it makes sense. I’m sorry that I cannot offer good words of consolation as I want to be consoled myself. I feel this is a blow to intellectual Mormons across the world and not just your immediate family. But you will take the brunt of the force inevitably.
Please forgive my need to say all of these things publicly here and forgive those of us who have needed someone like John when your family has needed him more.
I will always be a friend and ally to John and his family.
PS this is coming from someone who’s parents’ choices caused gossip and feelings of alienation from the ward as well. This too shall pass!
Dehlin family,
I have not commented before but today’s events prompt me to respond. The thoughtful, sincere, and intelligent conversations fostered by John have changed my husband and my lives for the better. This church that is a part of my blood, how can there be no room in it for your husband and father? Please know that I live in Utah and you would never be ostracized or judged in my home.
I just want to comment and say how heart wrenching reading this news is. I have been so thankful for you and your podcasts they have helped me so much during my confusing trial of faith. I honestly didn’t know where to turn or who I could talk with about my questions. I have truely felt a sense of comfort and community listening and reading your thoughts.
Several years ago a Dehlin Family friend was in Boston for their baby’s heart surgery. They were alone in a strange city, full of anxiety for their child, and scared for his life. John wanted to reach out and offer comfort from Logan. Since he couldn’t be in Boston personally, he did the next best thing. He reached out to someone in his vast Mormon network who was in Boston. He sent my husband David and I to the hospital with a care package and a message of love. The Epistle of James calls this pure religion. John is a man who sees need and does what he can to reach out with charity. That is a man, father, friend and husband to be very proud of indeed. I have been encouraged and heartened by John. My friends and family have been encouraged and heartened by John. Thank you for all you do and all you are.
“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only… Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction.” (James 1:22 & 27)
Dear Margi and Dehlin children,
I know this must be devastating news for your family to receive that John may be excommunicated for his podcasts and website. I don’t know if my story will help easy any of your pain, but John’s podcast were a true gift when I left the church and was looking for the truth of our Mormon history. What I heard was a validation of truth, no glossy sugar coated version, that helped me in my journey as I sifted through the confusion. The cultural of family in the LDS church is wonderful and harmful if you disagree. Our family chose to leave the Mormon faith but keep up on the news regularly as I am not ashamed of the heritage God gave me. God, Jesus are still very much apart of my life after leaving the church. The confusing and emotional process in or out of the church is difficult and John’s podcasts impacted and helped me through that process. Thank you John for your sacrifice.
Your husband and father’s sacrifice remind me of a story that is told in the book by Andy Andrews called the “Butterfly effect”. In there he speaks of a man who helped change the course of our American History, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. (I won’t ruin the story it’s a quick easy read and very good.) John has been a catalyst for change and that has rippled into so many lives I believe for the good. Right now you can see some of the impact that John has made for the Mormon church. Yet I think it will be many years before you will see the full impact that he has made.
God bless you John Dehlin. May His love and Grace give you peace and wisdom during this time. Being a leader for change can be a very lonely road. You and others have carried that burden for so many others. Again thank you!
Sara
Thank you for the sacrifices you have made. I can’t tell you how many times I have found comfort in one of the Mormon Stories podcasts. The work your husband/father is doing has touched countless lives, many of which I’m sure you’re unaware of, like mine. My husband and I left the church about 4 years ago. It was probably the most difficult decision I’ve made. The research, interviews, firesides, websites and articles you’re husband has worked so hard on have given a voice to those of us who feel like we can’t speak our heart in church. That means the world to me. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. You may feel judged by some, but there are so many more of us that are indebted to you and see your husband as a light when we have found ourselves in a very dark place. So again, thank you SO much for your sacrifice.
Dear Dehlin family,
I’ve sat here at my keyboard for the past five minutes trying to find the words to describe my appreciation for Mormon Stories. I stumbled across the podcast as I was navigating my own faith crisis even though, admittedly, I have never been a Mormon. Yes, I’m defiantly not in the key demographic that this community is targeted towards, but it has helped me in ways that I still can not explain. I’ve found every podcast to be thought-provoking and have caught myself becoming surprisingly emotional at times.
I just wanted to show my support for not only your family, but also for the community at large. The same kind of support that made a friend and myself load up in a car, travel from southern-middle Tennessee to Missouri for a Mormon Stories convention over two years ago… and would do it all over again (that’s about nine hours one way).
I’m hoping for the best outcome for everyone.
Aaron
John’s efforts helped me realize that I am not alone. I am grateful for your support for him because it indirectly supports me and others like me.
To John’s wife and children,
You can’t possibly know the influence John has had in my life for the better. He is a rockstar to me. I imagine that influence he’s had on my life has come at a tremendous cost to your family in terms of time and stress. I want to thank you for standing by him all these years. You’ve touched tens of thousands of lives in ways very few people in the history of the world ever will. God bless you for your sacrifice.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
I know this can’t be easy and I’m so sorry. I am so sorry for John as well. When John spoke publicly about his doubts, it was though a burden had been lifted. Someone understood me. I was no longer alone. You are not alone. I love you and feel your pain.
Some day, hopefully soon, your husband and dad will go down in history as a maverick, a brave man, a man who helped thousands of. The Mormon Stories podcasts have been so enlightening, helpful, interesting, and beautiful.
I am sure you are proud of him and honored to be his family. Hang in there, Mormons are sometimes thoughtless in their comments. Be strong, have hope, and be kind to each other.
Many blessings and tons of love during this difficult time,
Lisa
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston,
What an amazing time in the history of your family! The groundwork is being laid during these days for you to be able to say of your father “he was a giant who stood on principle his whole life! He stood for truth, righteousness, kindness and equality!” This is but a chapter in a book…the pages of which will tell a glorious story of your husband & father. What seems hard right now is actually just a birthing process that will bring more joy and more beauty in to your life than you now can even comprehend. Bear with patience these difficult days and know all things work together for the good of those who serve the Creator. John is a servant. And all things ARE working together for good. Do not LET your hearts be troubled. Do not LET yourselves be afraid. ALL is well! All is well!!! You have not nor will you LOSE anything. You will only GAIN AND GAIN AND GAIN. Reed Abplanalp-Cowan
1 John 4:7 “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Two years ago unbeknownst to you your family shared a gift with our family, and that was the gift of love, delivered through your husband and dad. As complete strangers he took the time to meet with us, to hear of our pain and offer his sincere empathy and support. For this I am so grateful and continue to offer in return my love, support and empathy to your family.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I’m so sorry for what your family is going through. John’s work has meant so much to me. When I was at my darkest hour, his podcasts helped me see that I wasn’t alone. He helped me come to a place where I could stay in the church I love, but believe on my own terms. Thank you for sacrificing so much to help your husband/father create the community and the support that he has created in Mormon Stories. God bless your family. Again, I am so sorry. My heart aches for you.
Dear John and Family,
I just want to thank you so much for putting the time in to this website and allowing your Dad/Husband to spend so much time interviewing and creating these podcasts. I’m sure it has been a burden on the family many times and now that your Dad/ Husband may be excommunicated it gets even harder.
I want you to know that I will be forever grateful for the personal stories and thoughtful interviews posted on this website. It has helped me through a time when my entire world shattered and crumbled beneath my feet. I felt like I was left with nothing but darkness for a long period. I had very few to turn to and was so grateful to hear there are others who are willing to talk about the hard issues of the church and can do it with respect and thoughtfulness. Mormon Stories helped me realize its ok to love my gay brother and its ok to love myself for who I really am.
I can’t express to you how much this podcast has done for me. It has changed my life and helped me find support when I needed it desperately. It has opened my eyes to a world where I can love everyone unconditionally. Your father is a great example of unconditional love and no matter what the stigma may be in your community know that he has touched many lives. Thank you thank you thank you for standing behind your Dad/ husband and allowing him to do this!!
I am very grateful to you for all the work you put into making life better for people like me who stumble, for whatever reason, upon the skeletons in the Mormon closet. I am grateful for the opportunity your work gave me to realize that life does not end with the collapse of childish faith (which in my case was doomed to die anyway: you certainly did not destroy it; if anything, you helped my faith in humanity survive the demise of my faith in churches). I wish you and your family the best. Wherever good people are valued for their goodness, rather than some empty signal (like membership in a particular church), you will be valued and loved.
It’s not about all the people your dad/husband has helped. It’s not even about whether he’s right or wrong. No. When you’re a man, it’s *always* about whether you’re being a good husband and father. And here is the example he has set for your family:
1. He is a deeply good person.
2. He has sacrificed much to do what he thinks is right.
3. He is so…very…HONEST. That’s been his big “problem,” hasn’t it? He can’t help but be honest.
4. He has tried very hard to seek and serve the truth.
Whether he ends up being officially a member of the church or not, those are excellent traits, and I hope you always view them as a blessing.
And, yeah: he’s helped a ton of people.
Regards,
Matt Mosman
To the dear family of John Dehlin:
As you may or may not know, I questioned the church when John was on his mission and even asked him some of my questions about 25 years ago. His response was not what I expected, and I later left and had my membership removed from the church, never quite getting my questions answered or any validation so long ago.
Years later on a long drive in the car, I was passed some earphones and an iPod from my brother-in-law with a podcast from John talking about his mission and the letter I sent and he also mentioned my dad. I had no idea that years later he had formed the very thing I was searching for…a place where a person could come to have questions answered, a place where a person could feel support and love and comfort, and a place where others would listen and validate your concerns while leaving decisions up to you. Hearing this podcast, I felt vindicated. I sat in the car and cried. I was amazed how I had experienced a shift in my whole being, by hearing my old friend, John, speak on a podcast.
Then just a couple of years ago, he interviewed my mom, Dad, and me on a podcast, which also released more feelings that I didn’t know still existed. It was cathartic. From that moment to now, I have been on a spiritual journey that is truly changing my life. I cannot imagine where I would be without that first podcast and the initial “shift” in my spiritual being. Where would I be without the participation in my own podcast, even though it brought up so many repressed emotions, it was very difficult to speak through the tears?
I wholeheartedly owe much of my spiritual and mental well-being to John and the Mormon Stories Podcast community for giving me and many many others a place where people can come to be heard, to be validated, and to be loved without judgement. Every time I have donated money and time to this cause, it is in your names. As a mom and wife, I can only minutely understand the toll this might have taken on you all through the work of his podcasts and the many events. It is not easy having a husband or father who is often gone, and I have experienced both. But, to now have this emotional burden, and the social stigma that may come with it, I cannot imagine. Even when I left, it was on my own terms.
My heart is full of love and support for you all. I am forever grateful for the help I have been given. If there is anything I can do for any of you, please let me know. I send all of you my deepest love and compassion and also enormous strength and courage for the days ahead. Love each other and be strong. We (as the podcast community) are all with you now and will still be here after the dust settles. I pray for the best outcome for you and your family.
Your father/husband has had an enormous impact on my life! When I was at the lowest point of my life, I felt his loving arms wrapped around me. I was not alone. John truly embodies charity: the pure love of Christ. What a unthinkable indictment of the church! I wish you all the best. Thank you a million times over for sharing John with our community. Love.
Dear Family of John,
It must be very difficult and confusing for you to understand all of this.
Know that we each have our own path to walk. And now it’s time for yours. Your father has offered such amazing insight and perspective and now “THE CHURCH” must do what they do well with fear.
It took me many years to find my peaceful connected place after coming out as a gay and HIV-positive man, and leaving Mormonism at the age of 29.
May you all trust the seasons of change will rain, storm, shine, and color you well!
Be brave!
Margi and Kids,
Thank you for your sacrifice. The work of your father has helped me personally. I am an unbeliever while my wife and children are believers. Much of John’s work has helped my wife and I come to a good understanding in our marriage. You all have in no small part made that possible for me. Thank you
I admire your courage. I hope your wife and children will recognize that what you are doing takes character, and that your story gives strength and perspective to many.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I wish I had the words or vocabulary to write the feelings of my heart. I can only try to convay my love toward you with all humility. The work you have done has not been in vain. The messages that have been shared have touched my heart. I struggled to put away anger and frustration as I went about searching for my answers. Then one day I stumbled across John’s podcast and gave it a chance to sink in. It was the one about the five myths and truths as to why committed members become disaffected with the LDS Church. I watched it several times. It spoke to my hard heart and softened it. I felt the pure love of Christ in John’s message. I began to follow every podcast I could at this point. Thank you for the example you and your family have been to me and so many others that have felt lost and discouraged. By standing up and sharing your voice, I have found my voice again also. I will forever be grateful to you and your wonderful family!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston
I don’t feel like I can truly give you an adequate message. I’m so sorry that this is happening to your family. I am very grateful for John and the effort that hundreds of hours he puts into his podcast. My husband and I were on the brink of divorce and listening to Mormon Stories brought us back together. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary and are happier than ever. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how much sadder and emptier my life would be if we hadn’t found a way to communicate and reconcile our differences. Mormon Stories helped us do that and helped us heal in our ways we didn’t even realize we needed to until it happened.
When I had concerns about LDS Church history, my bishop told me “Listen to Mormon Stories.” He told me that he had concerns too, and that he listened to the podcast and he emailed John back and forth and few times and John Dehlin helped him stay in the Church.
I have since decided to leave the Church, but I am still deeply saddened by this news today. These actions seem to say that those who ask questions are not welcome, and it is not okay to try to be inclusive and loving to gays and it is not okay to not fit a cookie cutter. Diversity, thinking and inclusion make this world a more beautiful place. I am very sad that the leaders of the LDS Church do not agree. Your husband/father has made a tremendous effort to make the church a more hospitable place for those inside it. As far as I can see his actions are based on love. The world needs more love, not less. We should not reprimand people for being kind and for seeking the honest truth. The LDS Church has done itself a great disservice by threatening and labeling your father.
I wish you the best, you will be in my thoughts.
Dear Margi, Anna,Maya, Clara and Winston,
I just wanted to let you know that I and many people are thinking of your beautiful family at this difficult time in your life. I’m from Australia, I was raised lds, went to early morning seminary, went on a mission, got married in the temple and now have 3 beautiful daughter, 12,17&20. 4 years ago my wife and I decided that we could no longer live the lds lifestyle any longer, and wanted to get out as our daughters were starting to get a testimony, and it scared us. The last 4 years have been tough, as we have lost some family and friends, but what we have gained is far greater then what we have lost. Listening to your dad’s pod cast have really helped us in many ways, and I’m sure you are just as proud of him as we all are, your dad has been able to help many people escaping the church. Your church family and friends won’t be as kind as they ought to be, so brace yourself and don’t listen to anything negative, stay positive. I’m not going to bag the church out, in time and when your ready I’m sure you will see it for what it really is. I’m proud to say that I am a first generation Ex Mormon.
Deepest thanks to you all! So, so crappy. We support you and appreciate that the world has great people in it like you.
John,
Your work is honest and compassionate & I am confident helps a great many people. I hope this process is not a painful one because it is the church that is acting defensively, doing what it feels it needs to do to survive. Sadly, the leadership of the church collectively “can’t handle the truth” but your example of speaking out is a critical voice for members who question. I am convinced that when people take a course of honesty and compassion they can’t help but reap good things. Keep up the excellent work & all the best to your family! They should be immensely proud of your commitment to “do what is right”!
Dear John’s Family,
I hope that in the days that come, this powerful wall of support for your husband and father will help to sustain you. John has been such a blessing in so many people’s lives. This message thread is a powerful testament to the many ways that people have been touched by his work. I wish you support and comfort as you go through this period. Thank you for sharing John with those of us who desperately needed to hear the conversation he has lead.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry for the price you pay for you husband and father’s activism. I’m sorry this bleeds into your life and affects you.
Just know that your pain, and your sacrifice, does not goes unnoticed by those of us whom John serves.
We appreciate you. We thank you. We love you. We wish we could support you in some small way as a token of what John has done for us.
He has changed my life for the better. He has given voice to the voiceless. His work has taught me, educated me, inspired me, and sustained me.
I’m sorry that my benefit has come at your cost.
Bless you. Bless you. May you be strengthened and fortified during this time of trial.
Dear Dehlin family,
Please don’t be discouraged. Bad things happen to good people and the world outside the church is not a scary place. In fact it is fun and can be whatever you make it. Be proud of your desire to question, always doubt your certainty before you doubt your doubts, and seek truth and beauty without restraint from ‘leaders’. Instead of excommunication, see this as your graduation to being masters of your own destiny.
Best of luck.
Claire.
Dear Family,
Your dad / husband is my hero. He is the voice I did not have and has helped answer the many questions I had for years yet could never find answers to. All my prayers and support are with you.
John and Family,
I just want to say that my heart goes out to you and your family. A few years ago I would have wondered why you wanted to stay in the church if you didn’t 100% believe and had so many issues with it. Now I see it so differently now that I see that Mormonism is such a part of us and these are “our people”.
A year ago I had a spiritual experience that led me to understand God differently and opened my understanding to what I believe to be divine truth. I was freed from LDS theology in a very short time… It was liberating, but with the liberation came severe depression as I felt that a part of me died – the part of me that I thought would never die. I had to find who I am separate from church. I am still somewhat active and feel that your podcast saved my marriage and helped me keep my sanity.
To: Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston, I am not sure how your husband/Dad’s work has impacted your family. I would imagine that it hasn’t been easy. I feel the need to thank you for your sacrifice. Your husband/dad is the epitome of courage. Thank you for “letting” him save so many lives – if not temporal – spiritual lives. Hugs to all of you!
Dear Sister Dehlin, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
With all sensitivity to you, Margi, and with full appreciation of the weight you do and will bear, I’m going to direct my thoughts to your children. Please don’t be offended if I offer a moment of levity; I figure you can use it today! To begin on the appropriate serious note, however, I don’t even know you and yet am so sorry. Kids, I respect what your dad has been trying to do tremendously. I would have loved to have had your family in my congregation when I was bishop. In that calling for well over six years, tried to be guided by the Lord, and apply Matthew 22: 36-40. It sounds to me like your dad has been trying to do the same, and that’s a wonderful thing. Think about that scripture and what it says: As I read it, those two commandments are the basis of EVERYTHING else. I admire your dad for trying to do follow the spirit of those verses. I am not familiar with Mormon Stories (Hey–I’m 62! I don’t even LISTEN to podcasts!) (although this may make me start…) so I went to “about Mormon Stories” and was struck by how much I connected with the six shared values. Thank him for me, for touching the heart of an active Mormon way back in New York. I say “active” because I want you to know that there are still many of us who affiliate with the Church who strive to love and embrace all people. I fear that you will be confronted by some who may say they espouse the teachings of the Savior, but whose actions may suggest otherwise. They may be angry, naïve, ignorant, or simply prejudiced. Whatever the case, they miss the Spirit of Christ and what He was hoping to teach us. I pray for strength for you. I would encourage you to do two things: First, don’t let them get under your skin. I’m reminded of a story about two men who approached a New York newsvendor every morning to buy a paper. The vendor was a crusty, angry, short-tempered fellow who only made eye contact to better be able to curl his lip and almost snarl. Nonetheless, the first man would cheerfully pay for his paper, smile widely, and wish him a happy morning. Every morning. Finally his friend asked why and how he could continue to be so nice to someone so surly. “Why should I allow him to decide what mood I’m going to be in?” was his reply. He understood that when we carry our own internal strength and warmth with us that we are not negatively influenced by others, try as they might. May you strive to be the same!
Second, please continue to do whatever it is that you feel brings you closer to your Heavenly Father and to each other. That may be praying together, spending time together as a family, serving in a homeless shelter together, volunteering at a gay youth home together, holding family home evening together–whatever it is. The Lord loves you and can help sustain and strengthen you.
I am tremendously saddened by this news today. I have always needed to feel that the Church was big enough for every one of us. I disparage of that hope when I hear things like this. I am lessened today because I know pain is coming your way. Please love and honor your father. Love that he’s trying to do a good thing and encircle God’s children with love and supply them a safe place. What more can any of us do?
Be well!
The LDS church does not deserve someone like you in its ranks, John. You represent feelings of kindness, honesty, acceptance, curiosity, questioning, and truth. The LDS church has NONE of these qualities. You will be a better person without this religion.
Thank you John for all you have done. I have not always agreed with your conclusions. Sometimes I thought you were way off the mark. But I appreciate a place where I can read or hear different ideas than those I listen to in Church. They prompt me to think and to research and to comment. Many of the lessons I hear have deteriorated into just parroting back the correct answer without any thought as to its meaning. I need more. I need honest discussion. And I need a place where I can comment on what is really happening in my life instead of trying to impress the investigator with the perfection of our society. I appreciate the Bloggernacle because I can speak the truth about my life. I think we have twisted the Gospel of Christ into something ugly. Just read the comments on http://www.deseretnews.com regarding John and Kate Kelly’s coming Church disciplinary trials. Many of these people are completely un-Christlike; I think it is these people who should be called in by the Church and tried for their membership for un-Christlike conduct and speech. If anyone is giving the Church a public black eye and failing to follow the prophets, it is these people.
I am appalled that somehow the Church I love finds questioning and exploring ideas, even ones that might be false, threatening in any way. It is in the free exploration of these ideas, the ability of people to read and listen and correct errors they see that I feel we come closer to the truth. John’s site gave me that place.
I feel as sad this day as I did the day Sonia Johnson was called in for discipline or the day the Six were called in. It seems we have learned nothing.
John has done so much for me through his podcasts. Thank you for for family’s sacrifice.
Dehlin Family,
Be proud.
Feel nothing but pride. Proud of the man John is and proud of the causes for which he stands. He’s a beacon of light and hope for so many. Walk with your chin up. Stand with your chest forward. Your entire family has touched thousands of lives. Thank you to John and thank you to you as his family. The path is not easy, but make no mistake, there are people alive, families healed, marriages saved because of his voice.
Be proud.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m a regular listener to Mormon Stories Podcast. But I’m not LDS and have no LDS connections. I’m a linguist in Australia and I found the Book of Mormon fascinating from a language science perspective. But it is your Dad’s / Husband’s interviews that has given me an honest, thoughtprovoking view on the beautiful LDS people and my own walk with Jesus as a Christian. I confess that I don’t know the full import of what is happening for you at this time, because I’m not LDS, but I am praying for peace in your hearts and strength for your family.
I am in a better place thanks to John. My family has struggled as I have come to terms with the role of the church in my life, so I know a small part of this challenge that you are facing.
While your husband and father has helped me come to terms with issues that had left me in a sort of limbo for years, he has also softened my heart to the church and it’s leaders. He has done this mainly by offering informational dialogue that has helped to give me perspective with regards to issues that I’ve struggled with for decades and has led me to better understand the human element that makes the tapestry of this church.
I have seen him criticized by both believers and non-believers for being true to what is in his heart. This is both ironic and revealing.
There is too much willful ignorance that causes so much needless suffering. I am profoundly appreciative of John’s shining a light on so many difficult issues and have felt the love in his heart for the sufferer as he has done so. John is a good and courageous man and time will speak well of him. Time will not speak as kindly to those who have tried to silence the sufferers or the sound of their suffering.
Thank you Dehlin family for your many sacrifices. May you be blessed in this trying time.
Dear Delin Family,
I found the Mormon Stories Podcast in 2007 at a very difficult time in my life. I don’t even remember how I found it, it’s like it was just there one day, and I believe the Spirit someone led me to it. I have always been a believer, but I have also always struggled with church history as well as being a liberal feminist who often felt like I was one of the only liberal feminists in the church. When I found Mormon Stories, I had decided to leave the church and was despairing at the loss of my spiritual home, but I felt that I could just not be the only one like me anymore. John helped me to find others like me. He helped me to see that there was a place for someone like me in Mormonism. Because of him and his work, I have been able to stay in the church that I love so much. I appreciate the sacrifices he has made and that you as his family has shared in, and I stand beside you during this very difficult time.
Although times are tough, I truly believe the time will come when your husband and father becomes widely acknowledged as a great man whose courageous work helped lead the Church we love to greater tolerance of difference and to greater openness concerning the realities of its history.
You can be very proud of him.
You’re the man!And Margi, you are the woman! Thank you for bringing Mormon Stories to me, you created an environment unlike anything I had experienced within Mormonism. I felt safe and alive. No one else could have brought me that in my time of greatest need, but you could, to a total stranger!
Thank you and my you continue the fight for honesty, integrity, truth, justice, love and hope!
Mike
oh Dehlins… I can’t even begin to tell you how much I look up to ALL of you. Thank you for being a support to John and each other. His work and your support of it (whether explicit or implicit) is so helpful to an entire community of Mormons of all stripes, shades, and persuasions. Please know that people all over the place are constantly thinking of you and wanting nothing but peace for your family–however it comes. Be well!
Love you John. You have been a beacon of light in a trying time in my life. If it were not for you I would have surely felt very alone. My husband and I relied on your podcasts for a long time to get us through a tough 5 years of our life as we tried desperately to hang onto the church and not leave. In the end we left and have felt peace in that decision, but those years were hard and we will always be thankful to you. I am sorry your family is suffering because you were out trying to help the few that needed it. You were more Christlike in helping the 1 and leaving the 99. You are a good man. You deserve nothing but praise.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston-
I have met some wonderful and very influential people in my lifetime. I have seen things and been to places where I count myself lucky to have lived a wonderful life. But I am in awe every time I’m around your husband/father. So much in fact that I feel nervous to even say hello to him. He is a wonderful man of courage. He changed my outlook about how to engage with my gay son and his podcasts gave me the strength to look at a new perspective. I am a better man because of John Dehlin.
There is so much I could say but I will keep it simple. I have never met John. My only interaction with the Mormon Stories community has been through the podcasts (including the excellent Mormon Matters and Mormon Sunday School podcasts) and the Facebook group, but John’s work is a big reason for “why I stay.” Excommunication is often reserved for those who drive others from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; John’s work has brought me closer to it and for that I am grateful.
John you have been an inspiration to a lot of new strugglers the last few years and know more about why people struggle than about anybody. Keep it up and remember the world does not revolve around Mormonism, you and your family will be fine.
Thank you all for your courage. You give me courage and hope.
I personally commend John’s efforts over the years and have no doubt that he has always had the best intentions with his work. In my mind, he’s only done and said what many of us are afraid say/do. Please know that in my mind, John Dehlin is a good man who only wants to help bring about positive changes in the church. I know others won’t see it that way necessarily but I do! Thank you John, I’m on your side all the way!!
Dear Dehlin Family,
My heart goes out to you! John you have been a great source of support to many who have walked down the long and lonely road of doubt, isolation and stigma. It’s my belief that God wants strong people to love and care for his children when they feel they can’t go any more and you have done just that for many people. Hang your head high for you have given people a new hope to search more and find themselves on that road. In the end, you have helped many see the glass half full and also half empty and most important, you have shown us the glass as it really is. My hear and prayers are with you and your family.
I want to start out by saying that I never leave comments on blogs or articles, but I felt so moved by your situation that I wanted to reach out and say how incredibly sorry I am that your are being put through this ordeal. I grew up as a Latter-Day Saint, but am no longer practicing and a part of the reason is due to experiences I have had myself and experiences of others I love that are of a similar nature. I am not in anyway trying to say that I understand what you are going through, especially due to the public nature of your situation, but I want you and your family to know that I admire you all and am so grateful for the efforts you have made and are making. I truly believe that the church would not be hemorraging membership if they were willing to allow those who have a unique voice to continue to speak. Whatever happens please know that there are those of us that are behind you and your family and that you are truly courageous. Best wishes!
While I admire John’s courage and appreciate his desire to make a difference, I’m very sorry to hear of the negative effect it has had on his family and personal life. It is truly a shame that a community purporting to follow Christian values can’t find anything but love and respect for your family. If God’s glory is intelligence we should all strive to learn and understand more about the gospel we all hold so dear. The very public nature of John’s journey must have been very difficult for your family. Many of us have followed along with him for nearly 10 years now, and it has never ceased to amaze me how much criticism he has taken from both sides. It is easy to criticize, but it takes a strong man to carry on despite the nay-sayers. I appreciate your willingness to allow him to take time away from your family to do the important work of shining a light on the disenfranchised and questioning, the counseling, and the other significant activities that the church does not seem to deem as necessary. I’m so sorry for this difficult chapter in all of your lives.
For the Dehlin family,
John has touched countless lives through his passionate activism. He has made people feel loved and like they aren’t so alone in the world. I cannot think of a single thing that is more Christlike. Jesus said to love everyone, not just our friends or those who are the same as us. He said we were even better if we loved our enemy [or those how are different than us.] John has done that.
He has exposed our wounds to the very core and said [through his podcasts and actions] what I think Jesus would say, “I love you. You have a place here.”
I realize it may be hard to see John face such social and religious stigma, but doing sometimes doing what is right means facing down authority. It means flipping tables. It means fighting the social norms of our culture. It means finding our own way, even when people may not understand.
John is a fighter. Fighters do this to serve fellowman out of love. He does because he believes his Creator would expect nothing less of him. So I hope your heart is full and hold your head up for, John.
Because standing up for what you believe in the face of adversity is never easy. Peace, love, and well-wishes to all of you.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am so sorry to hear of this news. It breaks my heart. It is important to know that your father and husband has done much to help many make sense of the things they may be experiencing in the church. He took his personal time to counsel with my son and former daughter in law (who are both precious to us) about church related issues that were impacting their relationship. Being courageous is a high risk endeavor. And it looks like this time the risks are going to bring a hard burden to the whole family. I am so sorry for the pain that this may bring about. I want you to know that I admire John and the work he is doing to keep people included and to provide them with a safe place to learn, and discuss and figure out some very difficult things. All of our love from Virginia.
Dehlin Family,
In the last year and a half, John has been (even when I disagree with his statements), a voice of reason and reconciliation. His approach of acknowledging the facts and facing problems while trying to remain peaceful and flexible has modeled for me a way that I can try to keep my marriage from falling apart.
I am grateful to him for the work he’s done and the thought and effort he’s put in over the course of his work on this podcast. He has touched my life, and many others, by being willing to talk about the problems.
I hope you forgive John the pain, and do your best to learn from his example.
John – Whatever the outcome of this, I hope it is one to which you can reconcile your life, and find happiness. Good Luck.
Winston,
Just wanted to say that your Dad has really helped me understand some of the sad stuff that happens to people in the church. It’s such a gift to help people realize they’re not alone in how they feel.
Your Dad is really a wizard in the way he uses the internet and technology to help people connect with each other and support each other.
Hopefully not many people will say mean stuff about what’s happening at church with your Dad. But if they do, remember this: they’ve only heard PART of the story and they don’t really know what is in your Dad’s heart. Remind them that your Dad is actually a really good person. Have faith that as time goes on, most people will understand that. If you’re ever confused about what people are saying, then let your Mom and Dad and your sisters know about it.
You seem like a great kid! Hang in there, ok?
All the best,
Justin
Keep up the good fight. Live authentically. This is all I can hope to teach my daughters. We have left the church and have not looked back. Life is about love and courage. Hang on to both!
Dear to Dehlin family,
So sorry that you are going through this experience right now. As someone who is trying to make the Church work in my own life, I can honestly say that I would not be in the relatively healthy spiritual place that I am in right now if it were not for Mormon Stories. I have felt the Spirit more often in my life recently thanks to John’s amazing work. I hope that your family may at least feel some sense of the strength of so many who stand in support of you.
Margi,Anna,Maya,Clara,Winston and John;
More than 10 years ago in the dead of the night and at the end of my rope I searched the internet for answers, Why Stay? Stay LDS had about 20 members at the time and your Dad/husband answered my letter. He saved me that night. He probably can’t remember because he has saved so many of us. My issues were huge but his words, his podcasts, his talks have been a mainstay in my journey. Honestly, for me, it was a safe place to be because all around me was cruel and vicious. I had left a horribly abusive marriage to a church leader, as more and more of the truth came out I was criticized, my family vilified. Mormon Stories helped me through so much. In the end, there wasn’t room for me and my history isn’t mormonism. My parents were converts so my ties not so strong to endure the cruelty.
I have encouraged to those around me more than anyone will know to seek answers at John’s words. Over and over he has been the reason many of the people I love have stayed in the church, more importantly, he has saved many lives with his words of acceptance and his pursuit of a more loving and understanding church. This was never more apparent until this last week when a family member I adore in tears told me she was LBGT. I was the first person she came to since coming out in therapy. She felt I would understand.
As i have been friends with John I have seen the ups and downs of the cost your family journey has endured. I have admired the love you have for each other and for the strength. Please, please know how grateful I am for the sacrifices you have made as John as been the voice for so many who have been silenced. As i have now learned, my departure not only from a very abusive marriage but also an abusive church is now referred to as the start of the BEST of my life. My hope and prayer is that if the church follows through on their threat that you know many of us will recognise the sacrifice your family has and continues to make and that we are in debt to that sacrifice. And most importantly, thank you for the example of a loving and accepting family that you are. I have modelled it in my new life and clearly its working, my niece coming out to me is proof of that.
God Bless on your journey, it will be the start of the best of your lives.
John, please continue in your quest, you are saving lives, you really are!
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
I’m sorry that this is hard for you. Even though I haven’t met John, he is one of the kindest, authentic, christlike people I’ve ever known. That to me is worth more to Heavenly Father than a membership in any organization. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Rebecca
I wish I had the time and words to express to you, John, and your family, what your work has meant to me. I am a better person and a better Mormon because of the trailblazing of John Dehlin. At least I try to be. The example that he has given of a faithful doubter and a doubtful believer is an inspiration.
Wow, I am at a loss for words to express how disappointing this news is. John has been an inspiration, a voice for careful and thoughtful reason, and an advocate for loving all in a manner more Christlike than I have seen many people aspire to. What a strong, amazing man — and I am sure he is backed by a strong, amazing family as well. These steps taken by the LDS church seem more Pharisaic than me — throwing the book at someone for a perceived letter of the law violation — than Christlike. I have never heard anything other than a message of love, understanding, and truth from John. My heart goes out to all of you — John and family — during this time.
John, I support people standing up for what they believe in. However, that goes both ways and applies not only to for those who oppose certain aspects of the church but also the church when it determines that the opposition has gone too far. I hope that you and your family receive support from the community and are not ostracized for what is taking place. I know that if you go into a disciplinary council humbled and seeking repentance Christ’s church will always welcome you back. If you feel you are unwilling to conform, then I hope those around you will do as the scriptures say to mourn with those that mourn and stand in comfort with those in need of comfort. I have always turned to God when I felt alone, maybe if you still have a testimony in God he can also comfort you in your time of need.
Dear Dehlin family,
Your father and husband offers a voice to hundreds, thousands of individuals who feel marginalized, left out, or otherwise discounted by what can be a very loving, but also very lonely, church. I was talking to a friend at work today and expressed my firm belief that your dad, his activism, and his love for those who possibly don’t have many sources of love, has likely saved many, many lives. In a world that can be cruel to those it deems different, even a blight, having someone like John Dehlin stand up and say “let’s treat each other like human beings, with love, respect, and dignity for all”, is not a small thing. I’m so sorry for the pain you will encounter as a result of a small and narrow minded few, but hopefully the voice and the weight of thousands standing behind you and your family will outshine, outweigh, and outnumber any hurtful or negative whispers drifting your way. Stay strong, and God bless. You have legions of friends standing with you.
Margi, Anna, Maya,Clara, Winston –
Thank you for your service. That is what we say these days to returning Veterans. Consider yourself veterans, you have earned the right to do so. John Dehlin has been the mainstay for me in trying to comprehend what it means to be LDS. Because he has shared with so many, in such open ways, given what I have learned about how the Church and Church membership behave when a member is not quite doing it right, it would seem to me you, his family, have carried the brunt of the maelstrom these last years. Your courage will not go unrewarded, of that I am sure. John has set a model that will be difficult to dismantle. I have a good feeling that you are more likely to find support among the membership and can only become stronger followers in Christ, as this Church twists and turns on itself struggling to find it’s identity in the 21st century. Be well, and blessings.
Dehlin Family,
This week, “fresh courage take.” John’s work is hugely important to countless people, and he has made a a significantly positive impact on my own life. His voice is needed now more than ever. I’m sure you never asked for any of this, but please hang in there. This too shall pass.
J
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston-
I think John is a wonderful guy; it seems to me that it is because of his honesty about his questions about the church that led him to start Mormon Stories, and eventually has led him to this point. I hope that you will value his integrity, even though it may be personally very tough for you. I believe that no matter what happens over the next few months regarding John’s membership in the church, both you and John will better understand yourselves and the world. I think you’ll be better able to face other challenges that come in the future.
My best wishes!
Chris
John and family,
My heart breaks for you. John, your love for the Savior is evident, and I can’t imagine how much this is hurting you. Please know that you have been an anchor for so many. Your words and website kept me in the church and helped me feel whole. You gave me a voice, and I always felt that you listened. Thank you for creating a safe place for those who find themselves suddenly wandering in the mists. I hope you feel the outpouring of love and acceptance from all those who are expressing their gratitude here.
John, we’ve never met or spoken, but I love you like a brother. You have provided a safe place when all I had been raised with ceased to make sense. You have been a calm, compassionate, honest voice of reason that allowed me to know I was not alone. I’ve now come through the other side of my crisis, happy, safe, with my family intact. Thank you. I pray that your family might understand the enormity of your influence for good.
Thank you Margi for the sacrifices you’ve made and are making. Your husband and your history and your good family’s example helped us so much a couple years ago during a very difficult time. I’m not great with words, but thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts.
Your Husband/Father had been an inspiration to me. He had helped me when nothing else would or could. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed when someone has the personal integrity to stand for what they believe.
I am so sorry. It does cause incredible pain, both for you and for your family members. I have followed your podcasts for a while now and have so appreciated that you indicate why YOU CHOOSE to STAY in the church despite all the unanswered questions. I too choose to stay, but you are correct, it is VERY difficult to be the parent or family member of an alleged apostate and those who openly are asking questions. It causes so much sadness and grief and strife as we all try to sort through how to ask questions, receive answers yet still continue to worship and love our Lord, Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. BIG Hugs to your family. Please know there are many of us out here in cyber-land hurting for you and who hurt daily for our own family member choices. I have appreciated many of John’s thoughts but am keenly aware of how painful it is for family members.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
You can look up to your Dad and Husband as a man who is willing to think and share his thoughts. I hope you are all as proud of him as so many other people are.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
I want to thank you all for putting up with what I can only imagine is a chaotic life so that John could do his amazing work. It has meant so much to so many of us, myself included. I am sorry that it is now causing you heartache on a level that I cannot know. But you should know that John’s work has helped me through a lot of heartache of my own.
I learned of the problems with the church several years ago, and in a very short period of time. Within a matter of weeks, I went from a staunch believer and defender of the church into a complete unbeliever. I did not have any support, and was terrified that if anyone ever found out that I had lost my faith, I would lose my believing Mormon wife and family. I was scared, I was alone, and I felt like my entire life had been based upon a lie. I felt stuck, and I was so deeply unhappy.
It was in the middle of that stage of terror that I found “Mormon Stories.” I cannot describe the amount of hope and relief that it gave me at the time. Your husband and father was courageous, honest, and respectful, and his questions and searches gave a voice to my own feelings and frustrations. The community he started gave me an outlet to connect with others in my position. His questions and doubts validated my own, and let me know that I wasn’t alone, and didn’t need to feel so alone on that journey. In time, this gave me the courage to speak with my wife about my doubts, and John’s counsel, and that of many of his guests, had instructed me in how to do that, and how not to do that, and it made it so much easier. What could have been a disastrous event in our marriage actually brought us closer together, thanks largely to what I had learned at “Mormon Stories.”
Six months ago, when my wife began to feel that it was ok to ask her own questions about the church’s teachings and history, I directed her also to “Mormon Stories” and to John’s work to learn more and to hear the many voices that John has collected over the years to speak about difficult issues within the church. His interviews with both critics and apologists taught her so much more than I ever could and gave her tremendous comfort as she has now navigated her own faith transition. We are happier than we have ever been, our family is happier – and I do not exaggerate when I say that a large portion of that is due to the work that your father has done to help the thousands of people like us.
Your father, starting as nothing more than just another guy on his computer, has started the most important movement in Mormonism in the past 100 years. He has given a voice to thousands. He has forced the church to sit up and take notice. And now the church leaders have shown that they cannot stand the scrutiny, cannot stand the truth, and are willing to threaten and bully their own followers into submission. I don’t know your father personally or all of his faults, but I can see that he tries very hard to be a man of integrity. This decision by the church’s leaders shows that your father has more integrity than they do. Your father is a bigger person than the church. Your father has stood up for what is true and right and good, even though it may cause his whole world to come down around him.
But it won’t cause the world to come down around him, or around you. We support you. Thousands support you. Thousands thank you, and owe you for the sacrifices that you have made. John couldn’t have done this without your patience and support. And what a difference that has made. Thank you. Take heart. You’re not alone, any more than I was alone at the beginning of my journey. It just felt like it. I hope that this message and the hundreds of others being shared here will give hope and comfort, just as John’s work gave to me and my family. We’re here to support you and wish you the best.
Dear Dehlin family,
I want you to know, that no human being can take away covenants made with God, even if they officiated those covenants.
You will be ok, God has your back. Blessing of peace and comfort to you. I am so so sorry.
Love
Talya
Dehlin Family,
I want to express my how grateful I am to have stumbled across Mormon Stories… because it has helped me continue on in the LDS church along with my believing husband and young children. I can’t really articulate how the stories, honesty and thoughts expressed have paralleled my own many times. They helped me feel less angry and at times I felt such relief I cried because I felt more understood and less alone. I’m so sorry this is such a hard time for your family. I have been blessed by your sacrifice and can’t fully express how but thank you, thank you, thank you.
To the Dehlin Family:
Your father’s work has done so much good for me in my life. I stumbled upon Joseph Smith’s polygamy and polyandry, the Adam-God theory, and other doctrinal and historical issues when I was 17 years old. I lived in a very conservative religious community and I felt absolutely alone and distraught. All I had done was look around on the internet and my world fell apart. I had a great deal of anxiety, fear, panic even. I felt like I was in the wrong for finding out about these things. I felt like I was evil for doubting. I felt like I was the only one who knew these things. Thankfully your father started his Mormon Stories podcast at around the same time I was going through this transition and he introduced me to a broader world of Mormonism–the Mormonism of Lowell Bennion, Eugene England, Greg Prince, Richard Bushman, and more. I realized that there were others out there who were trying to make it work. I wasn’t alone. Because I had a mission still looming over me, you don’t understand how refreshing and even life-saving this was for me. I don’t know how I would have done it otherwise. Your father and husband is a real hero (as you already recognize). He is a role model for me. He has been an advocate for the marginalized, the gay, women, the doubters. He was just who we needed at the time. He has saved marriages and lives.
While I no longer believe in the Church or Mormonism, I know that John’s work helped me more spiritually than anything I learned in Sunday School or Priest’s Quorum. His work didn’t lead me out; it kept me in. But after seeing some things on my mission and not having that pressure hanging over my head anymore (I served out my two years honorably) I decided that the Church just wasn’t what it claimed to be and I no longer consider myself a believer. I cannot even begin to thank him or pay him back. He is an example of empathy for those who, within the institution, do not get it. He tried to make a safe space for them. It’s too bad that it has come to this but I believe truth and honesty will win out in the end. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you. My thoughts are with all of you in this time. Best wishes.
Dehlin family,
At my lowest time, when it felt like my world was falling apart because my husband had just announced his loss of faith to me, it was the Mormon Stories podcasts that helped me through. John is a good person for standing up for what he believes and has helped countless people navigate the rough waters of loss of faith.
Its so sad that it has to affect you negatively and I’m sure it will be rough. I hope the outpouring of support from this community will help. I wish you love and peace.
Dehlin Kids,
Yep: You guys are gonna have a rough couple months. Maybe years. No doubt about it. But you know what I thought when I read your dad’s plea for messages to his kids? I thought, “It probably really sucked sometimes to be Abraham Lincoln’s kids. Or Martin Luther King’s. I should be more grateful for the kids of these great men. They gave up a lot so I could feel better about things.” Now it’s a pretty big statement to call your dad a Lincoln or a MLK, but to some of us, he kind of is that guy. He has helped so many of us in our darkest hours. No, he didn’t end slavery or start a Civil Rights Movement, but he stood up for the same kinds of values. That’s pretty amazing. I wish I had a dad like that. And while this isn’t going to be easy for your family, I — for one — am grateful to you and your mom. You guys deserve a hell of a lot of praise, too. You have one impressive family!
Dear Dehlin Family
Thank you for everything you have sacrificed in support of your husband & father, that has enabled him to be a support to the thousands of strangers in the Mormon fringes.
I have such admiration for your father and your family. As difficult as this time may be for you, please remember that we were taught by the church to choose the right and let the consequence follow.
We have a right to be heard and the example of the Dehlin family has enable many people to be honest.
My thoughts are with you and wish I could give you all a huge hug. Words can’t express the impact you have made in the lives of so many people and how grateful I am to you.
Much love
Amanda
And your parents named you Winston? George Orwell would be proud.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston:
I am terribly sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I am shocked and saddened at this course of events. I hope you find some comfort in the fact that your father has helped thousands of people, including me. He is a hero to me and many others, and all of us stand united with you.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you for supporting your husband/father. His courage has helped my family navigate our faith crisis over the last 3 years. He helped my husband and I find the words to speak to one another and our family members about our change of belief. He helped us remain very happily married with two small children.
I am sorry for the pain that y’all are going through. I am grateful for his courage and his love for all people.
I hope you are able to feel the love he has given to the mormon community. Thank you again. We are sending positive vibes and prayers your way.
Dare to do right. Feel gratitude for the opportunity to help so many. Everything will work out because there is a loving God.
Dehlin family,
The work that John has done, over May years, has and continues to inspire me. I am no longer a member of the LDS church, but I retain hope in the beautiful simplicity of the gospel of Christ because of John’s work.
He, and many others like him, are courageous souls whose work has given me hope that there could be a place for me in the LDS church someday. Maybe, just maybe, there will come a time when we as a people will have the courage to live as we would have others think we do. I thank god for men like John who have the courage to actually stand for what is right, not what is convenient.
The vitriol that I’ve experienced and read online has largely come for those who practice not what they preach and it is my hope that you, as a family, will find a safe harbor in which to weather this storm. And it is my hope that the arms of one another is the safest.
You are all so loved. So very, very loved.
Dear John and Family,
Please know that I have benefited from your efforts. Your interviews of wise and seasoned LDS faithful, such as Terryl Givens and Richard Bushman, have been instrumental in my remaining faithful to the Church.
Thank you.
Dear Dehlin family,
Such a sad day. Your Dad helped me when I found out about my gay son. His voice helped me make sense of things and allowed me to reconcile where I stand. I am eternally grateful for his hard work, shameless voice, and clarity of thought. His gift has blessed so many. And to be excommunicated because he developed that gift and shined a light on issues that need addressed is shameful. I want diversity of thought, ability to question without threat of punishment, and develop our minds and souls through research, study, sharing experiences, and honest discussions. To silence someone that has embodied these principles does nothing but promote us to be silent, suffer, and feel worthless. Thank you for sharing your father and husband with the world. And from one aggie family and alum to another, go aggies!
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
My prayers are with you and your Dad this evening, and if possible I want to send you love and suppport all the way from Niagara Falls, NY. Even if certain Church leaders don’t get it, I see the guiding hand of the holy spirit in the work your Dad has been doing. It has been a great blessing to me and my family. And I pray now that you and your family will recieve all the blessings you need for your peace and happiness.
This above all: to thine own self be true
John Dehlin, and his work, helped me to understand a loved one who was experiencing a crisis of faith. The podcasts gave me the vocabulary I needed to talk to her about her doubts, and the talk was valuable for both of us. As I watched John’s interviews with people who have left the church, their experiences, told with such honesty, helped me to admit that if the church was what these people thought it was, I would leave, too. Fortunately the church isn’t what they think it is. Nor is it what John sometimes presents it to be. I can understand the disciplinary action. Although very careful, John does more than question; he sometimes condemns with his questions. I have heard an occasional echo of something amiss leaking around the edges during his interviews. I really hope, and expect, that time outside the church will bring him to appreciate his membership. I think we need John’s voice in the church, without the criticism that sounds faintly in the background of his otherwise very good work.
Samuel 16:7 “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
The covenants that you made are between you and God. Thank you John for being such an inspiration and at suck a personal cost. You have helped many!
I have often found that regardless of the reasons, justifications and or results (of the actions of a family member) the rest of the family is mainly concerned with how it affects themselves and the family unit. It’s natural and to be expected in my opinion. My point being, I can’t image what John’s family is going through and I truly feel nothing but concern and compassion for any pain and suffering they might go through.
That being said, John and what he has done and offered for people like me, has truly been a life saver. I went through a faith transition all alone and with no one I could talk to about it. And until someone recommended the ‘Mormon Stories Podcast’, I was starting down a dark path of thinking. He (and his guests) offered me a safe place to think and process my thoughts, fears and concerns and I will always be grateful to him and what he has done. I know this will not help any real pain, anger or frustrations John’s family might have, but it’s the truth (as I see and know it) and I wanted it to be part of the record.
Thanks John and I’m sorry for what is happening.
John,
I want to thank you again for all your hard work and effort. It is obvious that you care deeply about the issues you’ve addressed over the past few years. You have done what we have all been afraid to do and have helped so many individuals along the way. I can say from personal experience, when I started doubting certain issues in the church YOU and mormonstories were there for me when no one else was. I am eternally grateful for your research, time, and patience helping people find their way through the woods.
To the rest of the Dehlin family, I am also grateful for the sacrifices you’ve suffered through together. I cannot imagine the pain you are all going through, and I feel so incredibly frustrated that it has come to this. For what it’s worth I support you all 110%. I feel the church is making a huge mistake, but it isn’t the first time and won’t be the last. Stay strong and support each other. Thank you again, for everything!
Wishing this day would’ve come sooner. I congratulate you on your ability to make so many people think you wanted to build their faith. Your gift for deception is so strong you may have partly convinced yourself.
Dehlin Family,
Please ignore Thomas, and anyone else who leaves a post like this. The love your father has generated and what he has started is far bigger than their bitterness.
Not bitter. Happy. Happy that people will now see him for who he is and not a “member in good standing”. My mission buddy’s exit from the church was facilitated by John Dehlin. Let’s call a spade a spade. Mormon Stories is not a faith promoting organization.
Thomas, your comment is classless, insensitive, and uncalled for. You obviously do not have a clue what you are talking about.
As referenced in my previous comment I do indeed have a clue. I have listened to many hours of the podcasts and come to my own conclusion.
Actually Paul, Thomas does have a clue.
Many here express feelings of being shocked and dismayed? Really? Does Thomas not really represent 90% of the real church? As in the church I attend every Sunday, every week? I get it, we here on the panel of electrons live in a la-la land of anonymity and ideals that are frankly despite our solipsism, much smaller than the reality that is the establishment. We admire heroes and ideals at our desks, by ourselves, but when we sit in the meetings, teach from the trough, and worship in the tradition, do our esoteric perceptions of how the church should be compared to how it really is really have a chance other than an occasional hero’s story of how a liberal bishop treated them respectfully when really the elephant’s portion of experience is of suppression, sweaty palms of courage rising in a GD class to say something that doesn’t get said out of a polite deferment?
I don’t agree with Thomas and find his insertion unfortunate. But he’s representative. Are we not here commenting because of this reality in the first place?
I’ve always been slightly annoyed at my friend John Dehlin’s almost naive but endearing wish to retain and break bread with the mass that is the church. The end of that road for those who really care about the reality of our species will never be a happy one.
Margi, Thomas represents an ideology that rhetorically helped put a shotgun under the chins of bright eyed youth who just a few years ago passed the sacrament or bore strong testimony at an ESY event. John’s work took many fingers off triggers and at least deferred a horrible event. Rarely do parents get the opportunity to show their kids through words and deeds such a courageous path. Take it!
Hey Dehlins,
So sorry this is happening. Mormon stories helped my wife and I through a difficult transition. If we were more active and public about our issues with the church we would have faced a similar challenge. I hope this is only a season in your lives. Some times I wish religion could act differently towards people who doubt, but unfortunately the doubters almost always face opposition and fear. However, history seems to prove the doubters are right in the end. I don’t know if that offers any comfort, but in the mean time I hope you can find shelter from this storm and peace in your hearts.
Dear Dehlin family,
Your father is a true hero and a spiritual giant. He displays enormous courage and integrity, and has made thousands of people’s lives better, including mine. Each of you is loved, and I honor you for the challenges you have been willing to take on, in support of your father and his honest, open hearted desire to support the church in making a more open and loving place.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you for all the work you’ve done and all the sacrifices you’re family has made. I am very saddened and disheartened to hear the news. I can’t express how helpful Mormon stories has been to me. I feel like the church left me long before I ever had any issues with the church. As an ‘older’ (30’s is not old!) single, childless woman I was ignored and made to feel worthless. Skipping church on Sunday became a matter of self preservation because I couldn’t shoulder the messages of inadequacy, worthlessness & having no place to fit that I received every week. Finding Mormon stories was the single most powerful thing that has brought some peace into my life. It helped me realize that I was not alone.
Thank you, thank you.
Dear Dehlins, thank you for giving up much of your time with John. I’m a typical story, raised in the church, mission, temple, etc. My world was turned upside down when I got very honest with myself and questioned at 30 years old IF the church might not be what it said it was. There is no way to prepare for the nasty turbulence in your life after that moment, the things I didn’t know I didn’t WANT to know! John’s efforts in his research and podcasts made an enormous difference in my life, helping me organize my thoughts and go through a long healing process. Regarding the problem that they are responsible for creating, the church is more about being right than it is about helping people. John’s work has truly helped me, and I’m extremely grateful.
I am so sorry for what is happening to your family. I feel that you have reached out to those who need to be heard, to be understood, to those who need to understand deeply. Please accept my gratitude for making a middle space between strict orthodox belief and giving up in frustration. I am sorry for your pain. I am sorry for the irony of it all.
My inactive sister told me today that it’s people like you who have helped her to not shut the door completely. Thank you for helping her. Thank you for helping me.
My heart is broken. A few years go when I was thinking about leaving, I listened to a talk you gave (why I stay). It saved me. I never thought about leaving the church again after that. So I find it sad and ironic the church sees you as a threat, when really you are probably their greatest secret weapon. Don’t give up.
Dehlin Family,
I am grateful for John and his important Mormon Stories work. He has helped me know what it means to be a Mormon, and my faith is strong because of him. I will pray for your family.
Dear Dehlin Family,
John’s following is a testament to his much-needed tone and service in the church. He is a modern-day pioneer. Not only that, but he has helped me on a personal level come to terms with my religion and culture in a way that I think is healthy.
I thank you for lending him out to all of us and wish you all the best!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am sorry that this is happening to you. Keep in mind that there are many of us out here that have been helped greatly by Mormon Stories. I have learned so much and been introduced to some great people. Mostly I found out I wasn’t alone. Neither are you.
I found out about these news through a Reddit thread, and the comments of that thread are full of people saying that John is a huge reason that they stayed in the church, and I’m one of those as well. When I first started questioning the church I found Mormon Stories and realized that I’m not alone. I realized that I could actively attend church while not agreeing with all the teaching. It was quite the relief, and I am active three years after the fact in large part because of Mormon Stories and the work that John has done. It’s a shame that the church is taking this route, and it’s taking a step towards undoing all the good work for the church that John has done.
Here’s the link to the Reddit thread if you want to read the almost entirely supportive comments of people like me, people that are active because of John: https://www.reddit.com/r/latterdaysaints/comments/27wmov/church_courts_for_kate_kelly_and_john_dehlin/
I’m one of those people too! Thanks John!
Dear Dehlin Family,
This must be a very difficult time for you and likely to remain so for some time. I hope that you will be comforted by the love that your family shares and the good wishes that the many, many people that your husband and father have helped are sending your way. I have not followed John’s site or his podcast, but I know others who have been helped by his words, and I am grateful that he has brought peace to many souls. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Follow your consciences, hold to that which you know to be true, live for what you hope to be true, and always be there for each other. Best wishes for you.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
John is on the right side and in the end, truth will prevail. It’s difficult to go against the grain of a community, but without people like John, our society would be in the dark ages. The words that come to mind are 2 verses from “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”
Hello, Margi, and Clara, Anna, Winston, and Maya,
I’m a Mormon Stories podcast supporter and listener from West Virginia. Hearing other people talk openly and honestly about their experiences on the podcasts has been so helpful to me. It has made me more open and accepting of different points of view, and also it has helped me feel not so confused and alone in my faith journey. Giving people a chance to share their stories is an act of compassion. So I’m very sad to hear that John is facing disciplinary action. My guess is that each of you has your own special fears about what will happen next–but also your own gifts to bring to the situation, whether it’s being there for each other, or putting friends at ease when they’re not sure what to say, or continuing to focus on the beautiful and the good, etc. Regardless of what happens, loving people and caring about their pain is never a bad choice. Stay strong!
To the family of John Dehlin,
First I want to express my sorrow for what you are experiencing, I know it must be very difficult. I don’t want to rationalize or make selfish excuses, however I do want to try to explain what your father/husband has done for me and my family. After being very active in the church for 42 years My husband and I stumbled upon the historical doctrines of the church and felt we could not stay in the church. We lived in Davis County, UT, and experienced backlash and ostracism. I found John’s Mormonstories and it literally saved my life. My whole identity had been stripped, I was depressed and isolated, feeling alone and like an outcast. Listening to his podcasts helped me see I was not alone. John Dehlin is a hero in my eyes, standing up for what he believes is right and just. I realize that you all are paying a heavy price for that honesty and I am sorry for that. However, I hope you will be proud of the strong, courageous and honest person that he is. I thank you John for being there for me in a very difficult time of my life. We have since moved out of Utah and have never been happier. You were a huge part of our recovery….thank you so much, I hope things work out for you and your family for the best.
John-you acknowledged that the decisions you’ve make created the problems you are now facing.
I hope you choose to stay in the church, it’s your choice.
As for your wife and children. Each of them will make their decision.
I was raised in a family where my father never joined the church, my mother wasn’t active until she was in her 80’s. My brother left the church years ago. Three of my five children want nothing to do with the church they were raised in. I’m very close to all of my family. I never let their decisions affect my love for them, and they in turn love me.
My point is that we can love and respect one another even though we disagree on some things.
Dehlin Family,
I have listened to John’s podcasts for some time. So many of my struggles I found reflected in his many topics and guests. I have not always agreed; but I firmly defend anyone’s right to an opinion and to sincerely question. God has given us many gifts and chief among these is a mind and the gift of reason and rational thought. If the glory of God is intelligence; then seeking learning and enlightenment is a wise use of this “talent” that God gave us to magnify. John and Family, my support and prayers are with you and thank you for your helping me in my own journey.
When I began questioning my faith, I was in a place of extreme pain. I felt like the person who was beaten and left for dead by a band of robbers. As I sat bleeding on the side of the road, reaching out for help, the faith community that I had always turned to suddenly turned away from me, afraid that I might make them unclean. It was John Dehlin, and other good Samaritans like him, who reached down, cleaned my wounds, and offered me unconditional love. It was just what I needed at the time. For that, John has my love and gratitude.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston. I am a complete stranger to you, but please know that your husband and dad is a hero. And you are heroes for supporting him.
Dear Dehlin Family,
After reading the NY Times article…in speechless! But I don’t that want to mean that I actually don’t say anything about this–your dad has done more for..how do I say this? Maybe I’ll get my thoughts together first and then formulate something to write…but lest I never get to a point at which I feel like I my thoughts are cogent enough for presentation, I’ll say this: your dad is a great man who has done great things and has helped tons of people. It has always seemed to me that what he does is motivated out of love. I wish there were more like him in the world! Have I met him? No. But probably most of the people he’s helped have never met him! Bless him. Bless you all. I’m asking myself, “This? This is all you had to say? And this is how you said it?” Seems inadequate to me, but better to speak than to remain silent when you feel strongly about something.
Much love,
Vicki Winkel
Dear Family,
I hope you get more comments here than you can possibly ever read. Your dad is a hero. I am so very sorry for the hardship his courage will create for you but know that it means the world to many, many people, including myself. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but has only spoken truth and helped give so many people a voice.
Best wishes to all of you,
Kristin Matthews
I have never met your husband/father but I have appreciated so much his perspective and insight into Mormonism. I honestly feel like I have shared in his journey as far as struggling to keep faith in a church I have loved.
There is something inherently Mormon about doing what you think is right and letting the consequence follow. If the leaders feel they need to remove someone like your husband/father from fellowship for the sincere, authentic journey he has engaged in then ultimately we are all worse off for it.
a word of advice: Don’t go to the council!
If a stake president calls you in it is because he has decided that you will be excommunicated -most likely outcome, 99.9% probability- or disfellowshipped if something extraordinary comes up during the hearing (never does).
You will be all alone, probably at the end of a long table, with many men staring at you, some you may never have seen before, and half of them are suppose to be your defenders to make sure no injustice happens to you, the other half will be prosecutor types. But all men will just ask some questions and then they wait for the president to end the council and leave the room. You will feel alone and vulnerable. The system is set up so that you feel that way to compel you to speak the truth, but you will hope for some clemency…. which never comes. And it is set up so that one man, the judge -the stake president- can decide your fate and claim afterwards that 15 of the finest men in the stake support his decision!
For a miracle to happen you have to convince them that you know that gay sex, for example, is a sin plus a few other things you don’t believe in. Nothing short of that will change the outcome. If you do convince them, then he may only disfellowship for a year. Otherwise it will be excommunication and then to return you will have to convince your new bishop and stake president that you know and sustain that gay sex is a sin.
So you are between a rock and hard place. Why bother going to suffer the humiliation and stress of it all. Better is to stay with your family that night and start explaining to them why people will ostracise them, something people in Utah will most definitely do.
Hopefully you will take my advice for what it is, advice from a long time follower of mormon stories.
John has changed my life for the better. Because of him I have accepted myself as a mormon while embracing my agnostic beliefs and not attending church. He has done so much for my mental well being without knowing me personally. I know he has touched so many other people and changed their lives too. Hang in there through the hard times, by supporting him you have supported everyone he helps. Including me. Thank you.
This remind me of a song… ‘Do what is right let the consequence follow, battle for freedom in spirit and might!’ Thanks for your example John!
Dear Dehlin Family,
Integrity is everything! That is the gift you give each other and the world! Thank you for your example and leadership!
Dehlin Family
John you have been so instrumental in helping us cope with the church not being true. Your podcast “Top 5 myths of why people leave the church” was so well done and very kind!! Family members and our bishop that couldn’t understand why we left felt that it was excellent. It gave them at least some understanding of why!!!
Hans Matteson, the Tanner’s, Simon Sutherton and many many more people that you have interviewed about the TRUTH have been so empowering for us to stand up for that truth as well.
I know your mission has been to show both sides, but at the end of the day no matter how good some things are in Mormonism the truth is the church isn’t true. The fact that the church is now trying to kick you out, just shows that they know it too. They have to protect the interest of the church because we all know there is no middle ground. We are so grateful for mormonstories!!! We feel that you have done a marvelous thing and hope that you will continue to teach the truth and keep doing what you do best. Mormonism will always be apart of our heritage but in the end it is far better to know the truth then live a pleasurable lie. George Owell and Mohnadas Gandhi say it well; “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” and “Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear.”
Your children and your wife should be nothing but proud of you for standing up for that truth.
You have a great following, and just like FDR has said “With great power, comes great responsibility” You have a great responsibility on your shoulders with the people that follow you, and you have carried that burden well.
This is just my opinion, but screw the church, if they are not careful they will lose an amazing person with a lot of integrity!! Which is clearly something that some of those top leaders do not have.
Press on friend and brother in the battle for truth!!!
You will always have our respect and support.
THANK YOU…..THANK YOU…. THANK YOU
Mormon Stories kept me sane, during a terrifying time of despair. I have so much admiration for the entire Dehlin family, and am terribly grateful for the efforts and sacrifices you’ve made. Thank you, thank you, thank you! My little family, wife and three children, were directly impacted for good through what you’ve done.
My heart breaks for the pain you all must go through. Much love.
John has made people struggling in the church feel safe and heard. He has helped so many people not feel alone. He has reached thousands of people and made them feel loved and normal. Just know that the world has been made a better place because of your husband and father. It must surely be difficult to be in your situation, but there is more love out here than there is hate! Stay strong and know that your are all loved!
It is because of your work that I am still in the church today. I was so sad when I heard this news today. My prayers are with you can your family. Thank you for all you have done.
Dehlin Family,
Your husband/father has been a great influence and godsend to many, myself included. And I am sure he wouldn’t have been able to do everything he has done without the love and support of his beautiful family. Stay strong and keep supporting each other. There are many out here that send their love and support to you all. Love be with you.
April
To the Family of John Dehlin:
Your father and husband is a brave pioneer who has helped countless people confront the complexities of faith in constructive ways. My life has been forever changed for good because of his work, and for this I am immensely grateful. I am deeply saddened by this tragic and unnecessary action, for the great harm it will cause. Please know that I stand with you during this difficult time; I pray that you will be sustained by the love of Christ as you pass through it.
In the following months I hope that your family can feel the prayers and love of your brothers and sisters in the gospel. When you are feeling judged and misunderstood know that there are numberless sympathizers; that we are grateful for your sacrifice and are in your debt. I have felt peace as I’ve listened and learned from John Dehlin, a peace that I believe comes from the Holy Ghost. Thank you for your selfless acts and your courage. I hope that something miraculous comes from these events – I wouldn’t be surprised at all.
I feel incredibly sad by this news. I have personally been blessed by your courage to speak. My marriage has been strengthened and I am a way more understanding and loving person. Thank you.
The small windows that John has provided into the lives and experiences of so many honest, compassionate, sincere, and intelligent people have helped me to understand that I’m not alone in my struggles within Mormonism. Thank you Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston for the sacrifices you have each made; my heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
Dehlin Family,
I hope that you will feel peace and love in the days to come. I’m grateful for the work John does on Mormon Stories and we need more people like him in his profession also. Most Bishops and Stake Presidents, while good people, can’t understand people with problems like mine but people like John can.
I pray Jesus will be with your sweet family.
Dehlin Family,
Thank you so much for Mormon Stories and John Dehlin. They have both helped temper my emotions during an emotional period of my life, and helped me examine my faith in an honest way. I will appreciate it my entire life.
BrianP
Dear Dehlin family,
Your dad has made a profound difference in life. Period. Thank you for sharing him with the community.
With love,
Laura Fauchier
John has paved a path that has brought countless of members and non members the tools to relate and communicate better between the divide. His work made the difference in my leaving the church by allowing me to exit with grace and knowledge, rather than hate and bitterness. He has changed the lives of too many to count. Thank you. Thank you for your love and support as a family.
I cry for you. I remember when you taught seminary to me and you began this journey. You seemed so sad that you started it and yet refused to stop. Over a decade later why would you continue if you were never happy with it in the first place?
John, your work with Mormon stories helped save my marriage. We were already struggling and my faith crisis was surely going to be the breaking point. As it turned out, I was able to start looking at my husband in a different light. No longer did I see him as a priesthood leader who regularly sucked at his priesthood responsibilities. Instead I saw him as a good husband and amazing father. I also looked at my marriage with a different end goal. No longer was I staying married because I wanted my eternal glory. Instead I was choosing to stay married because I wanted to be with him. But had I not been listening to your podcasts, I believe I would have reacted rashly and up and left both the church and my husband. I have since left the church, but luckily still have the husband.
We have been taught our whole lives to “do what is right and let the consequences follow”. We have been taught to be honest and make good choices at all times, in all things and in all places. We have been taught to stand for what we believe. We have been taught that love and charity are more important than anything else. Your family can look at you and see you as a living example in all of these areas. For you, they are not just words on paper. I am so sorry for the hurt and pain being heaped on your innocent family. I hope they can rise above this and hold their heads high knowing that if the ultimate goal is to “be Christ like” then their husband and father has not failed at all.
I’ve been reading your messages from other readers. I was just talking to my cousin who also WAS a member of the LSD organization . He also has with drawn his studies. I’ve said I’m having problems with the JW’s organization myself. They support the abuse of the woman and dis communicate them while supporting the abuser. It took the Kingdom Hall one and a half years to turn up at my place and ask me why I was not coming anymore. I tool them as it was. I was told by my husband I needed to go to the elders and profess my adulterist actions with an 85 year old man before I could be excepted again. I flatly refused because there was nothing adulterist about our friendship. This man is part of a very important family in town and I think my husband and this formor elder that nothing could be happening. But true friendship. This older man was there to help me and still is when my husband could not be bothered. Tomorrow is our 10th anniversary and I’m very sure this one will be the same as the rest and go unnoticed. That’s the way of the JW’s . There reason for ignoring there wives never giving them notice on Christmas or birthdays. What ever day it is. If it has a label on it the wives go unnoticed.
I have stared back because of my marriage but I don’t think that’s going to continue for much longer. So as your going through your battle don’t give up on your cause. Give it everything you have. Other religious groups have there problems as well. I’m not giving up on my struggles either. Follow your heart. It’s is true and it will tell you if it’s right or wrong. Your heart is the ONLY thing that is true.
Be true to yourselves always
A friend else where
Plz feel free to speak out again and again. Never give up
Dehlin family,
Throughout history numerous men and women have faced expulsion or excommunication from the churches they loved. Some of these people were kicked out for following truth, showing compassion, and just being a badass. Your dad is guilty of all three.
I am not someone good at expressing myself and have not been a vocal commenter on Mormon Stories Facebook page, but feel it is important to let you know how much your podcast and forum of open discussion has meant to me; finding somewhere you can voice your feelings and relate to others (part of a community still). You have the same concerns/questions that the Mormon Stories community deals with, but you have allowed yours to be public to help others, which has had it sacrifices (for lack of a better word, not sure I like the word consequences). Please know that your time, passion, and commitment to helping me and others not feel alone in our questioning is an amazing sacrifice that not many could make. I have always felt that you were sensitive in your approach in how you handled the podcast and page. John, you are respected, loved and appreciated by many people! The churches actions this week are so disappointing to myself but in no way reflection on you, but a reflection, unfortunately, on the leaders of the church and those actions are based on fear.
As my brother said, “Bad move church. John Dehlin was the one thing keeping me tied to the church.”
I hope my feelings of respect and admiration can bring some comfort to your family. You’ve all got each other and that in the end is what counts.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Stay strong and stay together, your father has done so much for people around the world and it is because of his gentle techniques that our family is still strong and together. Even here in Australia his influence is felt for the better and is helping to pave the way for questioners to be able to stay in church activity. It may be a long and hard road ahead but know that our prayers are with you and people everywhere are grateful for the hard work your father has put in. We love you and will be praying for you.
Your podcasts are my biggest lifeline. You are one of “my people,” and I am wrenched by this news. Your children should be so proud to have a father so ethical, courageous and good. John, so many of us love you and your activism. You have created a space that no one was brave enough to pave. This news makes me so very sad and so very angry.
Love to you and your family at this difficult time. You will never know the effect for good you have had on my life.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston~
I have known John for a couple years now online. He has been incredibly gracious and kind. He has been a strength to me time and again on issue after issue. He is gentle, good, educated, funny, and deeply sensitive to those around him. I am certain he is feeling your pain in real and measureable ways. I am so sorry this is happening to your family. Make no mistake, your husband is a good man. Make no mistake, Dehlin kids- your dad is awesome. There are so many of us who have been made better, more educated, kinder people because of him. He is deeply and greatly loved. So are you all.
John has been there to console me and help me when I felt desperate and depressed. I know now that it has been the same for thousands and thousands of others as well.
It feels like the world you know is crumbling- and it is, but it is not because of anything bad about John. Take faith in that.
Also, Virginia is a pretty great place to live ;-)
Crystal
I am so saddened by this news. John (and Kate) have both exemplified what they have taught., namely, humility, faith, seeking for truth, love for all, overcoming fear of differences, turning to God. If a person can be rejected for living true to those convictions, that is disheartening. Their rejection is my rejection because the safe place they created for members who critically evaluate situations in the church and still want to grow in faith through that process, has just shrunk. May you be strengthened and comforted knowing that your efforts were not in vain. For me, your work has turned me to seeking a stronger connection to Christ. To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston, you have a lot to look up to.
Hang in there John, if it wasn’t for you and your efforts I would still be in a miserable state of mental health, but you set me free with your podcasts. Unfortunately, the Church continues to insist on making enemies with it’s rhetoric and dogma around the one and only true church claim. mg
Margi and kids,
Like so many here I am a stranger to you. But I have seen your faces on John’s cover photo on FB and I have wondered how this beautiful family would weather the storms that come from your husband’s/father’s convictions. To this day I’m staggered by the thought of what you have gone through and go through. Where do you find the strength for that? Only you can answer.
Without knowing you personally, I nonetheless feel a genuine affection for you and gratitude to you for what has to be an immeasurable sacrifice. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Nothing is more Christlike than being a positive source in the lives of others for no self-gain, even while being persecuted by their supposed peers. History will shine well upon you for the gifts you have given us. I sincerely thank you for the work you do. It has been a great help to my family and me over the past few years.
Cousin John; great to see you contribute here. I appreciate all the mormon stories as well and how they have impacted my life. My message for the Dehlin family is to use the apocryphal phrase often attributed to George S Patton, “non illegitimi carborundum”
Dear Dehlin family,
My heartfelt gratitude goes out toward all of you for the sacrifices you’ve all made so that so many of us could find peace, answers and support in our struggles. Like so many others, discovering the Mormon Stories podcasts was a turning point for me when I felt utterly alone and isolated in my thoughts and beliefs, which was affecting me in every aspect of my life and thereby affecting my husband and kids.
As far as I’m concerned, the church also owes John a deep debt of gratitude for providing a framework that allowed so many who were on the fence to remain active (at least somewhat) in the church and not only derive some benefit from the Mormon community but also contribute to it. I believe this action by the church is not only unwarranted and a blatant slap in the face to a member that has contributed so much, but will also be a PR disaster of enormous proportions. I think many fence sitters will now choose to jump ship altogether, which is very sad for the church in so many ways beyond the obvious publicity problems that will ensue. Sadly, this latest move by the church has caused me to relive the feelings of betrayal and disaffection that I have often felt over the last several years when I have learned yet another thing about the church that was different than what I grew up believing it was all about (and what the church purports to be).
Please have peace knowing that everything John has done has been incredibly courageous and is (or should be) the very essence of the church’s teachings on honesty, doing what is right, and pursuing the truth at all costs. God bless all of you for what you have done for so many of us and in your journey to come.
Dehlin family,
It takes far more courage to speak from your soul than to remain silent in the face of injustice. Patriarchy is the water we swim in, both in the world more broadly, but definitely in the Mormon Church. It’s so pervasive that we very rarely see people like John, who dare speak truth to power. This decision by the Church is a public display of power and authority, and make no mistake, it is intended to inflict pain. The way it is happening demonstrates the cowardice and arrogance of the Church leadership: silent, smug, powerful. It is the antithesis of the true love of Christ.
It takes exceptional strength to do what John is doing. He has literally saved actual lives, and most incredibly, many of them are the most anguished and vulnerable people in the world. He is a true pioneer, our own Mormon MLK, Nelson Mandela or Gandhi. He is our own Joseph Smith, and understands the meaning of compassion, love and charity.
##################
Sometimes a man stands up during supper
and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,
because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.
And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.
And another man, who remains inside his own house,
stays there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,
so that his children have to go far out into the world
toward that same church, which he forgot.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
#################
Well said, Greg!
David
My daughter dated an LDS boy through high school. We all really liked this young man. Still do. His folks looked me up on the internet and decided that I was an anti-Mormon and made their relationship hell. I’m not an anti-Mormon. I take a great deal of pride from my LDS heritage. I’m just not a believer.
I guess what I’m saying is that I know what it is to have my kiddos talk crap because of their Dad and I’m sorry for whatever John’s family has to put up with because he chose to do his best. Good things come from hard things. The Kimball’s send their best.
Tom, Page, James, Jessie, Shad, Rhyan and Rachael.
John, Do what is right, let the consequence follow.
You and you family can hold your heads high. You have been honest, open, and a shining example of Christlike love to your fellow man. If there are painful consequences as a result of living this way, then those consequences are badges of honor you can proudly wear.
Dear Dehlin family,
Hearts are breaking all over the world! I have texted and emailed with many friends, from different states and countries, who are as disappointed and saddened by this news as I am. Please know that the world is a very big place, much bigger than the small city in which you live, and so many of us around the globe are sending you prayers of peace and comfort during what is surely a difficult experience for you all.
John’s message of love, honesty, and openness has reached far and wide to so many people, and has certainly made an enormous difference in my life. I thank you all for being a voice of change-
Thank you, John, for helping me find my path. God’s speed in continuing to find yours.
“I was a stranger and you took me in”
John, Do what is right, let the consequence follow.
You and your family can hold your heads high. You have been honest, open, and a shining example of Christlike love to your fellow man. If there are painful consequences as a result of living this way, then those consequences are badges of honor you can proudly wear.
John, although my life was negatively affected by a brand of feminism gone-too-far-in-one-direction, I do believe females in the church (especially the kind like Kate) perhaps need more of an outlet for their talents.
I’ve been a follower of your blog for many years. The best thing to do is let them excommunicate you. Do not resign under any circumstances. They must excommunicate you. If you want your message to resound over the coming decades, this is the way.
Dear Dehlin family,
I hope that, in those painful moments, your hearts are filled with the love and appreciation so many of us feel for your husband and father. He is a Christlike man, doing what I believe the Savior would be doing if he were here today. All of you have sacrificed so much, and I hope you know how grateful I am for your most generous gift.
Denise
What you and your family have done through hard work, risk and sacrifice defines a true disciple of Christ. Thank you.
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. You have made the church a better place for so many who struggle to find a place here. Thank you.
Reading this post and some of these comments just breaks my heart. I am so sorry for you and your family. I am so sorry for the families you have led down this path with you. I hope and pray you will you will someday find peace which can only come through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. You are a modern day Alma the younger.
Dehlin family,
I know this must be so hard. Being marginalized is nothing fun- but please know that there is so much good that has come from John’s work. So much validation for so many- and hopefully, through this, you will find validation for yourselves as well. Thanks.
Dehlin Family,
John’s 3-part podcast on his life in the church had me convinced that I could go back to church and participate. Now I know that if my opinion is different than the CURRENT teachings, I cannot express it publicly without threat of excommunication (cult attribute).
Thank you John and Family for you sacrifices. I know they are great.
Sincerely,
Jay
Dear Dehlin Family,
It’s not often you see someone who has such great integrity they are willing to stand firm in their convictions against a great cacophony of ignorance. Be proud of your father and proud of yourselves. You’re exemplary examples of true Christians, and I’m not religious at all (though I was raised LDS, I later realized after much self-discovery I am an atheist) so I mean this as a great compliment. It gives me hope for the future. Keep fighting the good fight and if you are excommunicated, John, know that your faith isn’t defined by a building or a congregation, it’s in your heart.
Family, hello! I have no idea how you feel, but I feel with you. John has helped me, and my family in many ways. When i was a newlywed and my husband started to have questions unknown to me, one of the first sites he found was Mormon Stories. Listening to those podcasts helped him open up and have some early communications about doubts. It didn’t go well, but it opend the door. A few years later he showed me the “Why I stay “ Podcast. I started understanding and thinking. Then I started listening to the podcasts, we have had many open communication since. The podcast has helped our marriage and has helped our strained relationship with the church. My heart is with your family!!
Dehlin Family,
I just want to thank you all. Pioneers are those who go places where others haven’t. Sometimes, where others wont. John has been a pioneer. You all have been pioneers.
Thanks for your courage. Many thousands have benefited, including me and my family.
Wishing you the best,
Jeff
Margi and Kids,
You know the truth about John.
Your true friends will stand by you.
Dear John and family,
You and Mormon stories taught me that we all belong. I felt alone in the midst of my family and my ward. I felt i had no one to talk to about my doubts and concerns. The weight of the cognitive dissonance was crushing, but I couldn’t give myself permission to be authentic. In Mormon Stories I saw people who were courageously open and not paralyzed by doubts and fears. It gave me a new model. I developed a greater tolerance for ambiguity and a greater sense of self. Now my marriage is better than ever, I’m more present and engaged with my family, and I am enthusiastically engaged in my ward community. I know now that I belong. And you belong too.
With Love,
Graton
Margi and Kids,
You know the truth about John.
Your true friends will stand by you.
A stand for truth is one you won’t regret.
I’ve thanked two of your daughters to their face personally and asked them to continue to champion you on and not let you quit the work you do years ago at a conference. My husband would have certainly left me for my differences in belief 4 years ago. I’m proud today we are united by love and happy as a direct result of a 50 min video you made as to what to do if your loved one loses their testimony. Stand for truth and righteousness even if you get ex’d.
Dehlin Family,
I just want to repeat how invaluable John’s work has been. Because of his TEDx talk, my mother now supports my gay daughter. That is life-changing for our whole family. I’m sure it has touched thousands of other lives as well. Thanks for sharing your husband / father with the Mormon Stories community, which has been a life-line for me and many others. I hope everything goes well. and thanks for all you do.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston – David O. McKay once said, “Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love, every surrender of self to something higher than self, every loyalty to an ideal, every fine courage of the soul – by doing good for good’s sake – that is spirituality. ” Never doubt that what you will endure as a result of your husband and father’s work is worth it.
I just wanted to say thank you, to you John, your wife and kids. I am so grateful for the Mormon Stories podcast. I have appreciated your fair approach to all the interviews you have done. I appreciate that you ask the hard questions. I have learned a great deal through listening to almost every podcast. I am thankful that you had so many different people on, with different viewpoints and I felt like the majority of your interviews were unbiased. I can’t even imagine the struggle that you and your family will be going through, but I want you all to know, that the podcasts were the only safe place I could go to learn especially when I first started on my journey. I hope you know that you are very loved and supported by so many.
Thank you!!
I am not a member of the LDS church but went to school with many who are good friends and examples of great faith. I’ve learned much here and felt it to be very inspiring and helpful. Sorry to hear the church does not have room for all- and they have lost the attention of many.
John,
I don’t know if the work you have done has been positive and worth it for you and your family, but I can assure you it has been immensely helpful to me and mine. All that I have learned from your wisdom and experience has been invaluable to me in taking a more reasoned and careful approach in my own faith transition. I’m nearly certain I would have made many more mistakes and may have destroyed relationships were it not for your advice. I can’t say thanks enough for all you’ve done. I think you are truly a person of character. No one in my ward has reached out to me in any way, and except for one brother I am alone in this mess. My sense of integrity has forced me to reconsider my world view and I’m so grateful for your efforts and the sacrifices you’ve made. The church is wrong in their approach to these issues, I am just sorry good people of integrity like yourself are hurt by their unrighteous dominion.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston-
My heart aches for what you must be going through today and for the emotional roller coaster that lies ahead. I have benefited greatly from listening to the podcasts that John has made available. I started my faith transition about a year ago and felt so alone. I was scared, angry, and frustrated to have come across church history issues that I had never heard of living as a committed mormon, while preparing for a gospel doctrine lesson. The podcasts from John (as well as Dan Wotherspoon, and Jared Anderson) were such a huge help to calm me down and be able to sort out my faith and relation to the church. Best of luck to your family. I hope that you find a peaceful place after the storm that looks to be upon you.
Dear Dehlin family:
Let me tell you a simple story–short, but hopefully sweet. We had a particularly discouraging Sunday. It was one that made me feel as though God had given up on me or had forsaken my family. Church was not helping at all, so me, my wife Bekah and son Brigham left and listened to the interview your husband/father did with Teryl and Fiona Givens. Between the three on the interview and our discussion in the car we had one of the most faith-promoting, reinforcing Sunday drives. It galvanized my desire to be a true Christian and to find beauty in Mormonism. I believe many lives have been uplifted for the good by your John’s wisdom. His story is not unlike many, but his willingness to peel back the varnish is truly unique and has inspired many to find courage. “Gird up your loins, fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake.” My prayers tonight are that the final words will ring true for your family that “Your hearts will swell” and that all will truly be well. Much love from my family to yours.
One of my favorite quotes is-
“Be brave with your life, so others can be brave with theirs.”
I felt so alone until I discovered Mormon Stories 6(ish) years ago. As you can see, the church does not encourage discussion outside of the “official” doctrine, which is a shame. Maybe if they had been more open and honest- as your Father has- I wouldn’t have felt so betrayed.
Mormon Stories gave me comfort to know the issues I was concerned about were real. It gave me a safe place to explore when I needed it most. The beauty of it all is that with John staying in the church, trying to help it grow for the better, each listener could follow their own mind & heart toward whichever path felt right for them.
I struggled and came to a decision that has given me tremendous peace in my life. I am happier than before. I have let go of fear and have learned to love and see the good in each person I meet.
I wish that could be the same for the brethren. If the LDS church were really about strengthening family relationships and uplifting one another, they would not put you all through this. Sadly, it is more about image, status and control.
My heart goes out to you with the pain this threat has inflicted. It is unnecessary.
Lean on each other. Love and strengthen each other. Know that there is so much love for you. This journey has touched the lives of countless people, both in and out of the church. It is a worthy cause.
Thank you Dehiln Family for your bravery.
I just want to send my love and support to all of the Dehlins.
If being a thinker, a seeker of truth, and having compassion for our LGBT brothers and sisters makes one an “apostate,” then I want to be one.
Wherever your journey takes you, I wish you peace and happiness.
Dear Dehlin Family,
John’s work has had a hugely positive impact on my life. When I was in pain and feeling lost, the material he produced gave me much needed information and assurance that I was not alone. Thank you, John, for your sacrifice. It has changed my life for the better.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston – be proud of what your father has done. It is a rare person who has the courage and dedication to give so much of themselves to so many people. His devotion to the Mormon people is admirable. His compassion is remarkable.
Thank you all for the sacrifices you have made. I will forever be grateful.
It is really sad to see such a compassionate and caring member of the church be put on trial. The reason why this is sad is because he has done nothing but try to help people come to terms with different aspects of the religion that the church itself is not even brave enough to tackle. Instead of trying him, they should be thanking him. Though I do not know all the circumstances, I imagine that whoever is pushing this trial does not understand John nor his purpose. The stories that he has helped us know has helped get me through some of most difficult times in my life. It is helpful to know that there are people out there that understand some of the troubles I have faced in the LDS church. One of the most bold and helpful things he as done is shared research and facts at TEDx USU. This has been an invaluable tool for me in explaining things about myself to my family. Thank you, God bless.
So, as a convert, if I start asking the same things you are talking about, I will be asked not to be a member? I have a child that is gay, I ask a lot of hard questions that people can’t or won’t answer, husband was ran out of the church by the ex wife because church was more important than her family. I’m already questioning if I did the right thing converting. Please stand by what you believe in. Stand for truth and righteousness even if you get ex’d.
Dear Dehlin family.
I am a dedicated member of the Church living in Texas (I currently serve as a bishop). To quote a small portion of a favorite poem:
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
Like many, I feel that I have spent much time in “the Shadow” between the idea and reality of the Church. It is a scary place – where I felt particularly vulnerable. I have drawn great strength, insights and peace from Mormon Stories over several years. Through Mormon Stories, I have been introduced to individuals (most of whom I’ve never met) who succored me while in the Shadow. I’m still, in some respects, searching for light, hope and confidence in the Shadow. I consider the gifts I have received from Mormon Stories to be fundamental as I continue to strive for more understanding, more empathy – more charity – in my life. My faith in and my commitment to the church have been strengthened (significantly!) by Mormon Stories and I am very grateful to John Dehlin for making this available to me.
The Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry about the recent events that are happening to you all. It must be a difficult challenge to face. The mormon stories community, as well as activism has made the Church and it’s culture only stronger, and in hindsight I’m sure the Church and all of it’s members will see it that way. Thank you for your sacrifice and your faith!!
Your Dad’s efforts have made a positive difference in my life and has helped me remain with the Church to this point. Thank you.
Although I don’t necessarily agree with Dehlin’s sympathetic position on gay marriage or women holding the priesthood, his efforts over the past ten years or so via Mormon Stories; Mormon Matters; and, generally, the Open Stories Foundation, etc., have served a very important role in my life. Indeed, my activity and faithfulness in the Church has been helped immensely by hearing stories similar to my own, and learning from people who are the best to ask on the topic—e.g., Bushman and Joseph Smith, or Book of Mormon and Givens. Dehlin’s podcast is one of the few forums where honest dialogue and, yes, dissent constructively among our people. What do the likes of Bushman, Givens, Elder Holland, and and Elder Oaks say about all this new activity? The Church’s actions must be considered very carefully. Sheeves and tares are indistinguishable.
Dear John & Family,
I don’t know you and just learned that this is happening from my parents, Gary & Millie Watts. I was once a devout, dedicated young Mormon – and our family was shook up when we didn’t fit into the Mormon mold – primarily because we started asking hard questions about whether there was/is a place at the table for gay mormons. John – thank you for your courage, and I am sorry you are anticipating going through a potential excommunication. My brother was excommunicated in the early 90s and it was devastating and hard for our family. I remember how sad he was and how confusing it was. That is because it doesn’t make any logical sense and truly isn’t right. No one should be disciplined for asking questions and for speaking their mind.
I wish your family courage and strength during this time. Know there are many people who support you, understand you, and whose lives are changed for the better because of your bravery. I grew up in Utah and know that it is hard to step out of line there. The world is bigger than Utah and Mormonism and you will survive this together. Take care of each other, hold your heads high, and find pride in your honesty.
Thank you for what you have done to help others.
-Lori Watsen
I think that the dividing line between an honest and sincere expression of agency and apostasy might be the degree of certainty with which holds one’s views. If one gathers together a group of like minded people that think the church may be wrong about any issue, this would not be apostasy. Likewise also applies to the degree of certainty that the church officially holds on any position. The LDS church already officially admitted that the whole “blacks in the priesthood was simply a mistake”. How can they know they they are not simply wrong again?
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you for, as they so often say about Bishops, “sharing your husband and father with us.”
My journey has been long and oftentimes very painful. But I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be in the peaceful spot I am today without John. The communities he has helped organize and the many stories he has shared have saved my life and helped me to love a Church I once resented.
I am so sorry for any pain your family is going through as a result of John’s “activism.” I am there for you as much as John was there for me in my darkest of times.
Love,
Michael
To John and family,
I know that this is a difficult time for you, but i want you to know the beacon of hope that your father has been for me and millions of others around the world. A lot of people like myself have struggled with the LDS church and it’s teachings but your father was one of the few who have been willing to speak out and talk about what everyone else is thinking.
Throughout american and world history there have been very few who have the courage and the dedication to speak up when they feel something doesn’t sit right, even if it is a small thing within any religion.
Your father has helped me better understand myself and helped guide me through some of the darkest times of my life. I will always remember the lonely nights i listened to his podcast as he let me know that i am not alone in my life.
One day you will look back and realize what a hero your father has been to a lot of people.
Thanks for everything Dehlin family.
Travis
Dehlin Family, be of good cheer, for He has overcome the world. He knows your works and the desires of your hearts.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My heart sank today, when I heard. My thoughts are with you, and I thank you for all you have done for me, a stranger. When my world was crumbling and my heart was broken, I thought I was alone, and thanks to John, I discovered that I was not alone. Neither are you alone now. Whatever happens, I am so grateful that you are who you are, and you are a person of great integrity, compassion, and love. To the kiddos, hang in there. Love each other, because you will always have each other, through thick and thin. Your parents have given a lot to others, and that is a great legacy to be proud of. Love always wins.
Very dear Dehlin family–
You chose each other and the opportunities for eternal growing that only your family, your challenges, your private and public world would present. I honor John and I honor you all. Remember–
ON GOING BACK
Cry or threaten
Or bribe or beg–
A chicken cannot
Peck its way
Back into the egg.
–CLP
Much love from your friend,
Carol Lynn
John and his work was a great help and blessing in my life when my wife and I left the LDS faith and some extended family members were not able to handle our decision in a respectful or healthy manner. Being able to show his PowerPoint presentation to them broke down a number of walls and was an instrument to help us have a better relationship forward with my family being outside their chosen faith.
I am saddened that the LDS church has chosen to use the exact same language of threats and intimidation that it used 50 years ago against Governor George Romney when he supported civil rights legislation.
Dear John and family,
I have known John for many years, and I know that he is a man of honor, integrity and courage. I so admire what he has done for Mormons and Exmormons alike, because he acknowledged our doubts, and made all of us feel not so alone. He has saved countless lives from the depths of despair that comes from feeling like you’re only person in the world to doubt this powerful church. Thank you, John. I love and appreciate you so much.
John has played a key role in my life recently in helping my husband and myself find happiness, relief, and support. When my husband bravely told me he had questions and concerns with the church the first thing he had me watch was John’s YouTube video of the facts and myths of why Mormons leave the church. That video was eye opening to me and helped me understand where my husband was coming from. I was worried we were going to get a divorce over our differences in our beliefs, but that video changed that and we have been huge Mormon Stories Podcast fans ever since, our lives have changed and we are now living happier and healthier lives, and are truer to ourselves. It’s heartbreaking thinking about what you all must be feeling and going through, but take comfort in knowing that John has helped, if not saved, countless struggling Mormons and ex-Mormons. Thank you for your hard work and commitment, John.
John and Family,
Thank you for the countless hours that you spent on this cause. I’m still in my faith crisis and your podcast has become a voice that I feel I can trust. All I want is the truth about my Mormon history and doctorine, the stuff I never learned about in church. I appreciate so much the respectful way that you approach these tough issues. Thank you for sharing so openly about your journey, it really helps the rest of us. I, like so many others, feel I know you. Your family has reason to be very proud of you. Thank you so much, and I hope nothing but the very best for you and pray that you will continue Mormon Stories. It makes a difference.
Dehlin Family, I love your father. He is man of principle and good ethics. He is being put on trial by the leadership of the church he loved. We all loved it at one time. Your dad has not changed, only the church of the pioneers, of the tabernacle choir, has changed. It once was fun and wonderful to belong to. Now it wants you to clean its toilets. I send an affirmation of love and concern in your direction. You have friends everywhere. Love is the first principle of the gospel, unconditional love. You have but to look at your dad to see it in action
Dear Dehlin family,
Since the restoration, our people have always sacrificed. At baptism we covenant with God to mourn with those that mourn, to comfort those that stand in need of comfort. John has sacrificed so much to love, accept and lift others. He has glorified Christ’s divine message when reaching out to “…the least of these”. He has saved lives, literally. May peace be with you all.
My parents taught me to always be true to myself and to stand up for what is right no matter the consequences. Truth is valuable. Your father and husband John has cared about all of those things. He’s been a beacon of light shining only truth. He has committed no crime. He’s done nothing wrong. He has been true to himself, to you, and to all of us. In church, we sing “Do what is right, let the consequence follow.” John has done what is right and is a great example to all of us. His bravery in proclaiming the truth saved my marriage. When I left the church, and my wife stayed, John helped my wife and I find value in each other’s choices. I owe him so much. I wish all of you well, and hope you know our hearts and best wishes are with you.
Dear Dehlin Family – the pursuit of truth has often isolated those who are willing to speak when their words are uncomfortable to powerful people entrenched in cultural norms. Your husband and father is a good and courageous man, worthy of your love and continued devotion. My love and admiration to you all!
Dear Dehlin family:
Thank God for John. I would not have been able to remain in the Church without the open, honest, and usually compassionate conversations that he made possible. I am so sorry for whatever difficulties your family are enduring. I do not know any of you personally, but you have touched my life, and I am truly grateful.
I send prayers and blessings of peace to your family, and my renewed gratitude.
Solidarity! As the almost 500 messages (plus countless unwritten ones but felt and communicated in other ways) so far show, you are not alone.
I’m sympathetic to your situation. Perhaps, however, it’s time to stop, reflect back, swallow your pride, and repent. Few people are accused of apostasy in the Church and your Priesthood leaders certainly don’t do this lightly. If your Church leaders say you’ve stepped over the line, perhaps instead of rallying the troops, as you seem to be doing in this thread- having people tell you how you’ve done nothing wrong- you should listen to those you profess to believe preside over you. You say that you believe the Church is true. Now is time to show it by acting in the proper way. What is certain is that if you don’t, you’ll be the one removing yourself from the Church. There is a certainly a place for those who struggle with having a testimony about certain things in this church. Everyone is in that place at some time. But when it comes to being openly hostile to its teachings under the guise of ‘questioning’, the Church must step in. I do hope you figure things out.
OK. I’ll repent as well as soon as you spend 15 minutes examining the truth. Seriously 15 sincere minutes.
Dehlin, my heart aches for you and your family. All these things shall be for thy good, right?
I have not heard any of John Dehlin’s broadcasts, but I know that the very foundation of the church and it’s doctrine and the way that it was formed was that Joseph Smith questioned his own beliefs to find the truth. The church encourages you to follow your promptings and intuition and find the faith and truth within yourself that is there simply because we are God’s children. Do not be discouraged that your husband and father has chosen to commit himself to his own path and learning experience. God is behind everything that ever happens even if that means losing membership there is something to be learned from that. Support and love each other and God cannot be displeased by that.
I am not sure what words of comfort I can provide to the Dehlin family. Gratitude for the sacrifice you have borne as John has helped thousands of us navigate our journeys through changing faith. I can not express enough how listening to the podcasts John has done over the years has helped me feel normal and less alone. I am saddened at the churches position regarding his work and wonder how people like me can find a place there. John inspires so many people as I am sure he is an inspiration to his family. May God bless the Dehlin family and thank you for supporting his work.
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
“And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
Herein is our love made perfect that we may have boldness in the day of judgement; because as he is so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (and, I would add, he that uses fear to silence and control is not made perfect in love).” 1 John 4:16-18
May you have the peace of knowing that there are many, many people who love you and John within the Mormon church. I’m so sorry if anyone makes you feel otherwise.
John, just wanted to thank you for your courage. Please don’t ever give up as you have helped so many people including myself. No matter the outcome you are not an “apostate” but a true Christian. Please keep up the courage and know that there are people like me who count on you. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Dear Dehlin Family,
As human beings, we look back at the history of this world and we remember the other human beings who with great courage, made a difference on this earth of ours. The ones who, at great personal cost, challenged the world around them, asked the hard questions and defied the construct of power under which they were part.
I see John Dehlin as one of those people. As you go through this difficult time, think back on all those people who also paid a great price to make a difference in the world and to the people around them. John has made a difference to me.
Thank you John, Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston!
Thank you John (and your sweet wife) for putting your time and effort into Mormon Stories. Never have I felt so much love than I do now….and have since listening to nearly every episode of every podcast genre. You’ve put your faith journey for all to see and have been vulnerable in a way that speaks volume to your faith and character. Thank you so much of all that you have done…and please thank your wife and children for supporting you. I didn’t realize how much I am embedded in this community until someone wanted to hurt people that have advocated for me and told my story many times in other peoples stories. There’s a great divide and I know where I’d choose to stand. Hope you feel the love from so many people.
I was 12 years old when my father was excommunicated. It was hard. I was hurt and very upset. It took me twenty years to understand the whole situation. Know that this is not on you. Love your family. Love your mom and dad. Life goes on. Life is beautiful.
John and this community have made me feel closer to the church and the doctrines and principles that I was raised with, even after leaving. It would have been so easy to totally, completely leave any thought of Mormonism in the dust. But thanks to this community and those like it, I cherish my culture and the place it has had in my life. Though I no longer actively identify as LDS, this community has helped me come to terms with the fact that, no matter what, it is a core part of me. This has made a huge difference in my lfe. Your father/husband is a true hero.
Your husband’s/father’s work has meant a lot to me. When my faith fell apart, his amazing library of podcasts gave me comfort as I learned the hard truths about church history and gave me insights into how I could make my now mixed faith marriage to work. I am very thankful to you all for sharing his time with me. I am sorry that you are having to pay a price for it.
I’m sorry John. Stay strong. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family.
I have felt the Spirit many times while listening to Mormon Stories’ podcasts. They have helped my testimony to grow. I feel sure that John has been inspired in this work. I am sorry for the way it has caused your family to be treated. You will be in my prayers, and I will also pray that those leaders who are considering your church membership will be guided by the Lord. You are loved.
John
I have been where you are 3 years ago. I know the pain. It will pass. My payers are with you. Christina
Dehlin Family
We are the parents of a gay son. We found this podcast at a time that we were in desperate need of support. We found that support from your husband and father. None of you will ever no of the gratitude and comfort we experienced as we journeyed through these heart felt stories. IF ever we have felt the love of Christ it was here. Thanks to you John for who you are and what you represent to us and many like us that have loved the Church and who continue to support and love our children. We pray that the church will some day soon do what is right and give full love and fellowship to those that continue to need it most.
Thanks for helping to make this experience with our son a lesson of love.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you so much for the many sacrifices that must have been made to bring Mormon Stories to life. They have helped me to understand issues that I hadn’t dared think about about “out loud” but were affecting me adversely anyway. Shining a light in the dark corners is always a good thing. My husband and I are grateful and lend you our support and give much love. Kelly and Nathan Bryson
Dear Dehlin family,
Thank you for the gift of your father and husband. I cannot overstate how important his work has been to many of my friends, and my own husband, as they learned (or are learning) to accept themselves as who they are. As I’m sure you know, he has been an invaluable voice for those who have not felt welcome in the church. By doing so, he has helped to begin a broader discussion of these topics both in and outside of the church. Watching a transgender friend talk about who he is in a public and empowering way through one of John’s podcasts? Amazing. John has managed to give my friend and many others a voice where many call for silence. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to you for letting him do this important work. It has meant so much.
Thank you.
Dear Margi and Dehlin Children,
I am so proud to be related to you! I am John’s cousin, the son of your grandmother Nan’s oldest Brother, Richard. I have known your Dad his entire life, and can assure you he is one of finest men in the Church. He has done so much good.
Were it not for your support, he could not have been so successful in shepherding countless struggling souls through their faith journey. I and many others have been the beneficiary of your personal sacrifice, as you have so generously shared your husband/father with those whom he has served. John has been my dear friend, confidant and spiritual advisor for the last ten years. I have stolen countless hours of what could have been your precious time with him. He is one of the main reasons my wife, children and I have remained active in the Church.
Much love and admiration,
Brett and Kelly Parkinson
This is going to turn into the biggest PR disaster the church has experienced to date (yes, bigger than Prop 8).
I’m actually not even worried, John. That’s how confident I am in my statement.
I have followed your work for some time John, and related to your insights in many ways. It seems you were giving voice to how so many of us feel. Thank you for your efforts. I feel for your wife, and can barely imagine what she is going through. Your spirit of kindness and inclusion is one the world needs more of. Keep moving forward!
My heart is broken. Because of John and others like him, I have found hope that the church could also include me. Now, I’m not sure. Thanks so much for sacrificing so much for us. We love you John and Margi and family. May the love in our hearts buoy you during this troubling time.
Dear Dehlin family,
John Dehlin has my utmost respect. During a crisis of faith, I was lucky enough to find the mormon stories podcasts. My wife and I were able to work through the stress and pain of a faith transition by listening to these wonderful interviews. We were able to stay in the church for a while, largely due to John’s influence. We have since left, for many reasons, but mainly because I feel my integrity is threatened attending and teaching. However, you should know that one of my good friends has been able to stay in the church due to the mormon stories podcasts. He is sending his son on a mission next month. I think that John Dehlin’s leadership on LGBT issues and his focus on helping people find a middle road in Mormonism are a benefit to the church in the long run. History will be kind to him and as his family I hope you can feel the love of the many people who have been helped by John. I am sorry for your pain, but grateful that you have shared his time and talents with us these many years. You are all appreciated.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am grateful for the courage of John. He has influenced me for the better. While he had been through ups and downs in his relationship with the Church, he has been frank and honest. I appreciate that in my own journey.
I wish the best for you.
Dehlin Family,
Your dad is truly a “Pioneer” in this cry for truth. He has provided so much help to his brothers and sisters in the gospel. Someday he will be recognized for his efforts from much more than the ones he has helped. As his family – we thank you for what you have already endured and what might be around the corner. Know that you are not alone – just like John did for us.
Amen to this. John is much loved and admired for his courage. He is the most Christ like person and deserves respect. Thank you John D. for TRUTH!
Warmest alohas to you Dehlin ohana. You are appreciated, admired, and loved. Mahalo for sharing your husband/daddy with us. He has helped me find peace and acceptance. Because of his efforts, I have finally made peace with my spirit. Mahalo nui loa.
Dehlin Family:
Your husband and dad will always be one of my heroes. I give a ton of credit to him for helping me stay in the LDS church and many of his podcasts have been answers to my prayers. Putting your faith journey on the internet is such a brave thing to do because everything you do and think is open to public scrutiny. There have been several uplifting podcasts that I count as answers to my prayers. Your dad being willing to let me witness his grieving process has been, by far, the biggest blessing to me. What I don’t think people understand that haven’t experienced a crisis of faith, is that denial, anger, bargaining depression and acceptance are natural things to feel. I’ve gone through some of these stages several times. Trying to suppress some of these feelings and not work through them authentically, made me self-destructive. I credit your father for allowing me to work through my pain because he gave me an example of what an honest faith journey looks like. You are a beautiful family. Mormonism is bigger than the church institution and I will always see your father as an example of what it means to be a good Mormon. He does what he thinks is right and lets the consequences follow. God bless you all!
As a current 2nd counselor in the bishopric of my ward, I can tell you I am absolutely appalled that the Church has deceived, yet again, and asked us to become educated while ignoring the impact the facts would inevitably lead us to discover. If the church wishes to stem the tide of members leaving, they certainly couldn’t have done worse then to try to quiet John’s honest examination of the LDS church. The church needs to be called to account for their betrayals over many years.
Before I say this, I want you all to know that I love you as fellow children of God. My input on the situation is that GOD is at the head of His church. Not the leaders, (not the bishops, or in this case, those approaching apostasy if not already there) not the members, not the prophet, but God himself that directs it through his mouthpiece the prophet and through the leadership. It is not directed by the members, thus it would be church of man and not of God. Perhaps if people take issue with how God runs His church, they should simply rethink God or join a church of man with hopes of whatever goal that might accomplish.
Powerful Comment. Well written.
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
I don’t know how each of you might be feeling right now. I’m guessing not great. The idea that a few individuals who have say-so (though not necessarily much sense) are questioning your dad’s worthiness must distress you, even while you should just be getting into the swing of summer fun. While I was growing up and even now at 50 I have had countless people tell me how good an influence my dad (a BYU professor and Mormon writer) had on them. I never grow tired of hearing about the difference my dad made in people’s lives. I was also aware that a number of people (strangers, mostly) saw my dad as controversial, since he worked at a church university and often in his writing and teaching asked the hard questions that made some people squirm in their seats. My dad was never formally disciplined, but eventually he was unceremoniously fired from BYU. That really angered me. For a time I couldn’t help but hate those I saw as disrespecting and undermining my dad. I believed a few say-sos in BYU administration must not know my dad’s good heart and mind, or desire to take the time to understand him. They were just afraid, and trying to please some other higher say-so. But I knew my dad well, and I experienced him to be one of the most Christlike, good-hearted people I was privileged to know. However, my anger and hate against unknown officials eventually melted, and it brought me lasting peace and comfort to realize that everyone who knew my dad well, like his family and friends and students and close colleagues, and openminded and goodhearted church leaders, also knew his heart and mind, and loved him, and considered him a very good person, a fine teacher, and worthy member of the community of imperfect Mormon saints. You know your dad. His family and true friends and close colleagues know him. You and they are better judges of his character than strangers and say-sos acting or speaking from fear and ignorance. Know that thousands desire only the best for all of your family. Try to ignore some of this current controversy and instead soak up the lazy summer. Make your parents go see a good movie or take a hike in the Utah mountains. Peace.
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
I don’t know how each of you might be feeling right now. I’m guessing not great. The idea that a few individuals who have say-so (though not necessarily much sense) are questioning your dad’s worthiness must distress you, even while you should just be getting into the swing of summer fun. While I was growing up and even now at 50 I have had countless people tell me how good an influence my dad (a BYU professor and Mormon writer) had on them. I never grow tired of hearing about the difference my dad made in people’s lives. I was also aware that a number of people (strangers, mostly) saw my dad as controversial, since he worked at a church university and often in his writing and teaching asked the hard questions that made some people squirm in their seats. My dad was never formally disciplined, but eventually he was unceremoniously fired from BYU. That really angered me. For a time I couldn’t help but hate those I saw as disrespecting and undermining my dad. I believed a few say-sos in BYU administration must not know my dad’s good heart and mind, or desire to take the time to understand him. They were just afraid, and trying to please some other higher say-so. But I knew my dad well, and I experienced him to be one of the most Christlike, good-hearted people I was privileged to know. However, my anger and hate against unknown officials eventually melted, and it brought me lasting peace and comfort to realize that everyone who knew my dad well, like his family and friends and students and close colleagues, and openminded and goodhearted church leaders, also knew his heart and mind, and loved him, and considered him a very good person, a fine teacher, and worthy member of the community of imperfect Mormon saints. You know your dad. His family and true friends and close colleagues know him. You and they are better judges of his character than strangers and say-sos acting or speaking from fear and ignorance. Know that thousands desire only the best for all of your family. Try to ignore some of this current controversy and instead soak up the lazy summer. Make your parents go see a good movie or take a hike in the Utah mountains. Peace.
John, please delete my repeated post. Much love to you and your family. Your friend, Rebecca. Jordan also is concerned about and thinking of you and your family. You can always count us as friends.
John… God bless you. It is because of your sensitivity, your desire for the truth and your obvious tender feelings for the church that I still remain a member, my doubts notwithstanding. Having been on the end of church disciplinary action before which was ultimately overturned, I know firsthand what it feels like to be falsely accused. It hurts and there is no other way to say it. I pray this goes well for you and you have so many peoples thoughts, love and prayers.
I’m grateful for your bravery, as a family unit, and have felt blessed and uplifted by the loving messages you have created and supported. Many of my friends who are gay and mormon, have been comforted and felt support in ways they never thought possible. In the face of opposition, I hope you always feel the genuine love and support from so many people who have been able to get through another day because of your loving outreach. God bless you.
Hi Dehlin Family :)
I know your family from years back in Illinois when we were in the same ward. I remember Anna well and baby #2 came along after we moved I believe. Anyway, Margi and I were buddies and I still think of her and often wonder how she is doing. I remember how she impressed me with her viewpoint at times, that was so much more mature than mine. She was a force to be wreckoned with and I loved her right away. I must admit, I know nothing of Johns site/podcasts or any real details. I’ve never been a listener. I’m not sure why he feels compelled to do this, to work for this ‘activism’. But that’s ok, I know his reasons are important to him and that his motivations are pure. I just want to leave what comes to my mind each time I read about members wanting to challenge the church and it’s doctrine. If not helpful to your family, then maybe to other readers but just the same, I wish only the best for your family. Here’s my belief in a quote, “Don’t dig up in doubt what you have planted in faith”. Maybe that’s oversimplifying but I have a tremendous testimony of faith, life experiences have made that possible. I also have a testimony of revelation through a modern prophet who guides our church to be Christ’s church in every aspect, including the way the priesthood is structured.
I will be praying for your family for comfort and assurance during these tough times.
Much love and hugs please to Margi :))
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m sorry that you have to go through anything at all because your husband/father is standing by what he knows to be right and true. My husband recently left the church because we both felt very strongly that he should be living by his internal truth, and that everyone should. No one should have to hide away in the shadows because of who they are or what they believe. Your husband/father has done a lot of good for people who have struggled to find who they are and for that he should be admired, not pushed away from the church that he loves. I hope that there is a way to continue Mormon Stories, I think it is an important instrument of understanding for those who are struggling, those who have questions, those who are sitting on a threshold and are unsure of what to do, and for those who are trying to understand why someone may not believe the same way that they do. Thank you for your courage, I admire your work and hope that this does not bring you down, but can build us all up to a brighter day where tolerance is the general view of all.
Dear Dehlin Family
As I read through the many responses. I am overwhelm by the care shown and the love people have for your dad. I have never read any of his podcasts. One thing I do know is that God loves us very much and allows us the privilege of asking questions, seeking truth and finding answers. When we reject questions and become afraid of people digging for answers, that means we have something to hid. When we allow people seek openly… they will find answers. the LDS church should not be afraid of questions. Three times frustrated church linguist threw the book at me for asking logical questions. I am an Anthropologist, who have careful examine church doctrine and BofM. However, arising questions were not only rejected but one is considered an apostate for asking them. I do not know your dad but I cherish such courage and rest assure the truth will be revealed.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry this is happening to you all. I am no longer a Mormon, my family & I live in a highly Mormon populated town where we’ve had some good & bad experiences. We’ve found out who our friends are. Some of my Mormon friends don’t care I’ve left and some wish I’d come back but we give each other space & respect. I’ve discovered that some people in my community aren’t sure how to treat me, they’re nervous, they don’t know what to say or do, so they say & do nothing. When some of those people were no longer scared of me they become friends. You will all loose, find, & keep friends. Some friends will leave you out of fear (some of those friends may come back to you later) and there will sadly be friends who will cause you pain.
I’ve been so grateful for Mormon Stories. It has helped me and many of my friends. It has also created a community so desperately needed for thousands. Thousands of people that were in pain, drowning, confused, & alone. I have hope that the Mormon community will continue.
I’m sad though that this is happening to you all & your father/husband. Many are thinking of you all.
In 20 years when the revelation comes the Church will owe you a big apology. You and your family are heroes to me and my family.
Thank you for your bravery. You have helped me feel that I am not alone. My prayers are with you and your family.
Dear Beloved Family,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what your father/husband had done for me as a gay man. He is truly living like Christ… It’s not always easy but God sees and is delighted for John standing for the truth…. I love your husband and father… His Ted Talk made me cry… We need more of him… Hang in there and know you are loved and honored.. Love, hugs and prayers for you all… Don’t be bullied by the church. Peace :-)
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry this is happening to you all. I am no longer a Mormon, my family & I live in a highly Mormon populated town where we’ve had some good & bad experiences. We’ve found out who our friends are. Some of my Mormon friends don’t care I’ve left and some wish I’d come back but we give each other space & respect. I’ve discovered that some people in my community aren’t sure how to treat me, they’re nervous, they don’t know what to say or do, so they say & do nothing. When some of those people were no longer scared of me they become friends. You will all loose, find, & keep friends. Some friends will leave you out of fear (some of those friends may come back to you later) and there will sadly be friends who will cause you pain.
I’ve been so grateful for Mormon Stories. It has helped me and many of my friends. It has also created a community so desperately needed for thousands. Thousands of people that were in pain, drowning, confused, & alone. I have hope that the Mormon community will continue.
I’m sad though that this is happening to you all & your father/husband. Many are thinking of you all.
Sincerely,
Holly Nielsen
Dear Dehlin Family,
Please know that John’s work has been a source of comfort and inspiration to so many within the church. There is never anything wrong with asking hard questions and telling important stories. Prayers for peace, comfort, understanding, and grace coming your way. There are so many who love and support and will stand in solidarity with you.
John is awesome, and the number of people he has helped is incalculable. He is among the church’s most valuable resources. It’s a tragedy that they refuse to recognize that.
Loyalty can be difficult for Mormons, because it teaches its members to value people based on how much they echo or amplify the opinions of church leaders. John deserves our loyalty. Sadly, the LDS church provides so few of its members with the virtues that make that possible.
Your dad is a hero. You will all be much happier following the truth outside of the church. Your “faithful” Mormon neighbors that will treat you differently do so out a fear, ignorance, and a desire to avoid any thought that may reveal their beliefs are false. Don’t be afraid to follow reason and love to the truth.
Dear Dehlin family,
You’re dad/husband, his work, his interviews, his sincerity, and his honest search for truth and how to reconcile it with the teachings we all have grown up with, has been a huge blessing to me. I am currently serving in a bishopric, and like to think that some of the understanding I’ve gained thru John’s work has helped me in my calling and hopefully, through me, even made a subtle difference in my ward and the members I come in contact with.
I admire him more than I have words to express. You are a lucky family.
Todd
Oh how my heart is hurting at this news. Mormon stories is needed so badly. We need you and your good family. I turned to mormon stories numerous times throughout my faith crisis and it seemed the only place I could go to feel comfort. Your work helped me through my faith crisis and gave me the strength I needed to stay in the church. Thank you for doing that for me. Thank you for asking hard questions and talking honestly. Thank you, thank you. My heart is truely broken right now. Those in authority at the church must not know of all the good you have done. They don’t see what a blessing you have been to so many. Please don’t stop. We need you. Members of the church need you, both in and out of it. I pray for you and your loving family.
I was so sad to hear the news today, but at the same time, I am confident there’s no eternal risk for a soul as good as John’s.
I hope the community will continue to embrace this family. Loving, honest connection can and should triumph over fear and misunderstanding.
To you and your sweet family!!
Each response that I read from another, I wanted to hit a like button or shout AMEN to. You have all been a gift, a blessing, and even more so a life line to so many people. When you close your eyes in any peaceful moments you have, imagine all of us (and I have no question that there are many more than just those who have written a note of support) standing with you, standing beside you. We are praying for you, we support you, we love you. You are not alone in this by any means.
Thank you for your courage to question, to find answers, to find truth.
I hope you all can find peace in all of this and feel the support that is coming your direction.
Continue to be brave and hold your heads high!!
As someone from Europe who has followed John’s work for a number of years now I wish to impress that whar he has done and continues to do is felt and seen throughout the Mormon world far beyond your ward, stake, state and even country.
It is heartbreaking to see when the church and community you love and which is the world that you know threatens and excommunicates its prophets and tends to the needs of the pharisees. It is how it has always been and to no fault of John.
Someone’s dear regards and thoughts from somewhere in Europe are with your family.
Henning
Amen and amen from Australia.
Thank you for allowing your husband/dad to do these podcasts. His podcasts helped us through the most difficult time in our lives.
I would like to express my love and appreciation to you John and to your family. Your virtual presence in my life has kept me sane, helped me see things in a clear way, make decisions for myself and so on and so forth. I know that you have saved lives and saved marriages and that you are an amazing man. This is not the right choice by your church.
I’m so sorry! It breaks my heart that simply having a different view is so reviled in the church. Know that our Heavenly Father and Christ know our hearts, and while the gospel is perfect, the people who comprise the church are definitely not.
Dear Dehlin family,
I owe you a great debt. I found mormon stories at a time when I was wondering if anyone else was asking the same questions as I was. I was struggling to see what the church could offer me and I could offer the church. The Mormon stories podcast have me much support in a very crucial time and opened the way for me to interact with other people just like me.
I am so thankful for the support that you have shown me and many others.
I read many comments from people saying that Mormon stories has helped them to stay in the church. As I reflect on its impact on me I would say it made staying in the church a much more pleasant and meaningful experience for me.
John, if it comes to it just opt for trial by combat! #GOT
I’ll be your champion!
Thank you John for all you have done for me during the past 2 years as I have struggled with my faith. Your podcasts have saved my life! To your wife and children, please know your father is a saint and true disciple of christ that has seeked the one lost lamb time and time again. I appreciate your sacrafices. Please know that the Dehlin family is loved! Sincere Regards, Troy Bashford. Tempe, AZ
The only certainty in this life is change. Your impact on the church has and is more important and universal than you could possibly ever imagine or envision when you began your story pods. The church is unique in its relatively short history when we compare it to the Catholic churches and others. You know and have along with your beautiful family personally experienced the disappointment, misunderstanding, and discipline the church uses. Human nature doesn’t change and what you are experiencing is not different than what other great teachers have gone through in the bringing forth new light and truth to the planet. To name a few: Jesus Christ, Buddha, Socrates, etc. The church is going through a large evolutionary change to move forward in these momentious times. It is having to face up to being inclusive not exclusive- God is no respector of person. To doubt, question, be humble, and child-like is moving towerd God (Christ) not away from Him. It’s for our growth and spiritual development. We thank you so much for the courageous part you have and are playing in this evolutionary spiritual awakening, and CHANGE. You are not alone- we are all individually evolving to a new spiritual level we have never dreamed was possible before. Keep up your faith and courage because this tOO will pass away. After the test comes the blessing. We love and support you and your family. I hope to meet you sometime.
My heart is aching for you and your family. As a shunned child whose father was excommunicated, I can sympathize more than most I imagine. If any member of your family wants to scream or cry or be reassured that it gets better, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Even though I have long since been involved with the church I have admired you tremendously from afar. I so admire the courage in which you live your life.
Praying for you and your family.
All my love,
Rebecca
Dear Dehlin Family,
I left Mormonism about 15 years ago. I cherish the pioneer heritage that I have but I am happy to be blazing my own trails finally. Let go of that ferrous rod and start to look at the world in a different way, with a different light. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people in it. It’s not a dark place filled with fog and despair. It’s a technicolor world that has some rain in it, but plenty of sunshine too.
Love Eric in Gig Harbor
Dehlin family,
Currently you are faced with church officials and members who are trying to tell you that your husband/father has done something bad and therefore deserves discipline. Arguing against doctrines and policies that hurt people and telling the stories of people who have been damaged by their inability to “fit the mold” is not bad. On the contrary, it is noble. It is compassionate, caring, and very brave. Blind faith and obedience and a lack of any honest dialogue is what long fostered and sustained a culture in which gay kids and adults felt completely alone and often turned to suicide rather than face rejection by family, friends, and community. The Mormon Stories podcast was instrumental in helping me find my way through a very difficult time in my life. The church, like any bully faced with criticism, is now trying to silence its critics. For those of us who spent our lives being tormented by the bully, John and others like him are heroes.
Dear Dehlin Family:
Your father’s work, along with those associated with him, has been one of the fundamental reasons that I have remained in the faith. With this news, Pandora’s Box is once again open, and I have to again question whether or not I want to remain affiliated with this church. It sickens me to think that conformity is valued above all other virtues. John, I believe your heart is in the right place and that your singular goal has been to speak the truth. Shame on the powers that be. I sincerely hope that some, if not all, of these comments could be shared with those who will “convict” you. And SHAME ON THEM!!!!! What is happening here is NOT of GOd.
at this difficult time please know that the truth and kindness your Husband and Father speaks brings light and knowledge to this troubled world. may God bless you, keep you strong and may you find peace.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston (& John)-
Like so many others, I am so very sorry for the pain you must be experiencing right now. Please hold your head up high and know that John has done so much for those of us here trying to grapple honestly with difficult aspects of the church while keeping the faith. Please don’t let others detract from the incalculable good work he has, and will continue to do. Sending thoughts and prayers for the Dehlin family, and those individuals who will be making the disciplinary decisions. I think this is a really, really, really sad day in the Mormon church.
We wish the best for you and your family on this next leg of life’s journey. Your podcasts have helped me and my husband so much in the past year! We could never thank u enough! I know countless others who have also benefited from your efforts. Your family should be so proud that you have stayed true to your beliefs, your studies, & your culture. We wish you the best!!
The Price Family
John,
Your work has helped me and my family to navigate a faith crisis when I felt that no one else in the world understood. You helped me find a therapist to discuss my faith crisis with. You have changed my life for the better. I am so thankful for your work and for your honesty and courage. We stand with you, brother. History will remember you for what you are doing now. Onward!
Loving a family member is not conditional on their beliefs, their actions, their activism, or for that matter, the mole on the back of their hand.
Loving a family member, and supporting them doesn’t have to be tied up with anything more than they are part of you, and you are part of them.
The only true freedom we have in this life is our freedom to choose. Choose what we feel, think, say, and on occasion: do.
Any entity whether it’s state, religious, neighbor, or stranger does not get to decide how you see or feel about your family, and those you love and support.
I hope that just like John’s support of others who feel free to choose in their life, others will give him the same courtesy…
And even if they don’t, Choice is still his god given right!!
My Love to the whole Dehlin family!
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The sacrifices you are making are indeed for a worthy cause. I wish you all the best.
The work your father/husband does has literally saved lives, marriages and families. A terrible injustice has been done here and I am heartbroken. I hope beyond hope that you will all the love of so many who’s lives are better because of him. I also hope that people will be Christlike. God is LOVE. I am so sorry for your suffering!
Hey John thank you for all your courage and the incredible work you have done! Resign before they X you! You know it isn’t true anyway. Don’t let them do that to you!
Aaaand Dehlin Family,
You’ve got a great Dad (and Husband!). Thanks for sharing him with us. A few years ago, I thought the number of people like me out there were few. They’re coming out of the woodwork – friends, family, coworkers. Many have found solace, camaraderie, and acceptance in the work that John has done. May God grant you peace in knowing that your family has stood for honesty and truth. Thank you so much for everything. Please let me know if I can help in any way.
Dear John’s family, I am an active member of the LDS church and have a questing spirit and John’s mormon podcast has enriched my life. I naturally question and yearn for more openness and the willingness of members to discuss hard questions, even doubts. I believe people need to feel free to discuss what is on their minds especially at the church they attend. John compassion and empathy for those that don’t fit the typical LDS mode is inspiring and nothing less than Christlike. He has helped me to have more charity and understanding for those who are struggleing or have left the church and in the process I have come to terms with my own doubts. It takes a rare kind of person who can bridge that gap. I feel I am a better more genuine person in my faith, because of your father’s, husband’s influence. He has done much good for many and I am grateful.
I stand with you. The church’s decision makes me very sad and kind of angry to tell you the truth. I am fully active now, but plan to quit if John is excommunicated. If there is no room for those who have scientific minds, and who love those that are different from themselves, or who think differently then there is no room for me.
I’m confident that Jesus Christ is happy with the way that your father and husband has conducted his life. If there is a heaven then you will be there with your family all together. I’m sure of it. If not, heaven will be a very lonely place where less than 1% of God’s children reside and God will have been a failure.
Keep your heads up. Life is good and full of family and friends.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I can not tell you how glad I am that I found John’s website. What a great difference he has made to help people in there struggle to find faith and find Faith In Christ.
John,
Thanks for not always doing what you are told, but doing what is Right! Thanks for helping me find the Truth no matter where it may be or who may say it, the truth is the Truth and it will set you free.
Boyd Loveless
It is my province to teach to the Church what the doctrine is. It is your province to echo what I say or to remain silent.
—Bruce R. McConkie, 1981
John, Please Don’t Go Silent!
Whoever moderates this: could you please replace my error-ridden comment above with this one?:
Although I am descended from personal compatriots of Joseph Smith and grew up intensely Mormon, except for occasional visits from missionaries who stop by to visit my cats, I have lost contact with just about all things Mormon, I did not know about you until I read the story in the New York Times this evening. I am pressed for time, have a headache, but I have bookmarked your site and when I do find time and my head clears, you have given me a lot of new material to read. I have to come to some kind of terms with this whole Mormon life experience, hopefully before I die.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My family has benefited so much from the work of Mormon Stories. It helped bridge a very serious disconnect between my wife and I. These podcasts helped me feel like I had a friend, even though it was a little voice in my headphones. Thank you all so much for the sacrifice and love. May we all find a way to do such meaningful work for others, though most of us will never come close. Take all the time you need to nurse your wounds.
Kindest Regards,
Jeremy
Dehlin Family,
Your dad is a hero. The church leaders should be ashamed of themselves. This is all a result of the fact that the leaders do not want certain information to be well known. They are a deceitful organization. They have misled many of your neighbors and family members and mine as well. I’m sorry for the pain you will endure as a result of the fight for truth, but it is the right thing to do. Your dad is a hero.
This is sad and discouraging news. The church needs more people like you and your family, not less. Many people have only been staying because they thought the church was becoming more open, honest, and welcoming to those who doubt and question, and those who want to take in the best parts of the church without feeling like they must accept it all. This action will hurt the church and a lot of good people.
I just want to add my deepest gratitude for the work you have done John, and to the beautiful family that has supported you and sacrificed along with you. You have made an immeasurably positive impact on my wife and I, and our mixed-faith marriage. Thank you and best wishes to you and your family.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’d like to say how grateful I am to your husband and father for being brave enough to tackle questions and issues on this and his other web sites that many of we out-of-the-ordinary Mormons can’t freely discuss or get answers to at our very “correlated” Church. What a shame that the LDS Church and its hierarchy still uses church courts, disfellowshipment and excommunication to intimidate, control and discipline its members who dare to ask hard questions about (or disagree with) church history, policies, or doctrines, or who dare to challenge the Brethren who lead the church! How sad that the LDS Church can’t follow the example of the other progressive Christian and Jewish faiths that allow for individual freedom of conscience and a diversity of opinion and thought on theological issues. Why are we Mormons and our leaders so uncomfortable admitting that we don’t have ALL of the answers, that our history and theology are imperfect, and that we are all — even apostles and prophets — struggling for answers in an imperfect world.
Perhaps when the LDS Church can do this, it may lose fewer of its questioning members!!!
Dehlin family,
I want you to know how healing it is for someone with honest doubts to be able to open up and get them off his or her chest. To be honest with oneself, and not to go around hiding it anymore. To me that is what John’s work is about. John had nothing to do with the creation of my doubts. Being open and honest is the first stage of healing and becoming whole again; only then can one begin to believe again with sincerity when the time is right.
Dear Dehlins,
John Dehlin is a genuinely good, kind, Christian man. He has helped me, my family, and many of my friends through some very difficult issues concerning Mormonism, in both understanding its history and evaluating my own participation. I wish there were more with his energy and insight. The Church does itself a disservice attempting to punish him. My family’s thoughts are with you.
To the Dehlin children: One of the most wonderful things I have learned from actually both of your parents (not just your Dad) is the example of advocacy. And not only advocacy – advocacy done in marital compromise and unity. And at the heart of Christ’s message – advocacy is what it’s all about. Love for one another. Love for self. May you all feel of our loving support for you – and may you always cherish the lessons your parents have offered you (even though I know they come at times with a difficult burden). With love, Natasha
Lots of us sort of feel like we’re part of the Dehlin family. We find acceptance and understanding, and nurturing and the kind of security you get with smart, honest people. I hope that our little family of misfits will keep being there for each other. The Dehlin family has been there for us – thank you very much.
I have never met you or your family but I know what it is like to be chastised by the very people who are supposed to be your “family”. I will say a prayer for you and your family because what is happening to you is wrong no matter what religion you are. Remember that God loves you no matter what. Peace, love and a future of happiness.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Almost everything that can be said has been said by the 500 plus posts that precede mine.
It is shameful that John is being punished for seeking truth.
May you feel my love and support.
Mike
My prayers and love to all of you. I appreciate your candor, and the open and faithful approach that you bring to challenging questions. I am sad to see you all go through this. Thank you for seeking out answers. We are all still seeking truth.
I just want to let you know that your honest inquiry, but love and respect for the church are an inspiration to me. I am so sad at this moment. I hope so much that regardless of what happens, you will continue your work. It is so important. We love you and so appreciate what you have done–our brother.
John may be the only reason I still participate in church. Some of his material saved my sanity and my relationship with my gay son. He is a remarkable man and I know that God is pleased with what he has done for so many of us.
Dehlin family. I love your Husband/Dad, he saved my life LITERALLY. Amazingly, Johnnys podcast has helped me to reconcile my feelings for the best way i know how through his efforts in STAYLDS. The man has a great Heart, when this story is retold, he will remeber as being on te right sde of history.
Dear Dehlin Family:
I just want you to know that I think your dad is a champion for truth. I have had the chance to speak with over the phone and I found him very sincere in his desire for sharing the truth. Some of the greatest men are those that question what others believe to be fact. I want to wish you the best. I have been in a position similar to your dad’s. The church may pass judgment on him but there are people that love him for the work that he has done. The world needs more people like him. To put aside personal beliefs and look for the greater truth and light. I hope you know that you and your dad are loved.
Dear Dehlin family –
There have been so many times that I have thought of you, of your sacrifice in giving up your Dad and even facing confusion at all the ideas, beliefs etc that surely must swirl around your home and your life with all the people your Dad takes in and councils with etc. I am so sorry for that…all that YOU have struggled with in order to relieve OUR struggles. It feels selfish to even explain this to you but I will anyway because I *think* if I were in your shoes, it would make me feel better. The Mormon Stories communities, the tremendous amount of content put out on the podcast and even your Dad personally (through email and phone council) have been a tremendous strength to me. The messages learned there will continue to be a strength to me throughout my life. I think, without them, my 3 kids would be in a divorced family and I would still really be struggling with a conflicted, even lonely soul. Even more than that, your Dad’s work has changed the church more in the last 8 years then any LDS prophet since the 1950’s;) Ha;) The social pressure he helped mobilize and create has made a tremendously softer place within the church for LGBT and female members to live (and thereby a softer place for ALL of its members, whether they know it or not). This, beautiful Dehlin family, has healed so many hearts and will prevent millions of broken hearts (or lessen the break tremendously at least) for years to come. I can only try to imagine what you’re thinking and worried about at this time. I hope you’ll find lots to read that will bring you some power back and I hope you know that one little family of 5 living in Italy is extremely grateful to you. I wish I could hug you personally. Much love and respect to you as you process through this. I will be thinking of you much today!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I admire John greatly…..his search for truth is most noble. He has helped me leave the Church, and to follow the TRUE GOD of the Bible…a God who is NOT the Mormon God, but who’s glory, omniscience, and love is indeed “unsearchable, without measure.” I have become a Christian, and attend a Bible-centered church! Thank you John…I appreciated you greatly!
Dear Dehlin family,
I was so sorry efforts to to learn that John’s efforts to bring greater compassion, knowledge, honesty and integrity to modern Mormonism are being met with such distain by the leadership. When I learned about the many things that leaders have lied about or covered up, I was bitterly angry. I really wanted to resign my membership, and to deal the LDS church and any members I encountered a damaging blow if I could.
Fortunately, around that time I stumbled on some of your dad’s podcasts, and his openness, love, and clear passion for truth and kindess really opened my heart too. It allowed me to accept that being Mormon is a big part of who I am, as I was shaped by a family that came to Utah with the pioneers. All John has advocated is love and truth – if they want to excommunicate him for that, they should be ashamed.
I know it might be hard sometimes, but hope you know how lucky you are, too. And that many, many people around the world, complete strangers, would be happy to help you in any way they can. Drop the name “Dehlin” and I promise you can have emergency assistance any where, any time. We love your dad for all he has taught us, and that means we love you too.
John Dehlin saved my marraige and helped me through the darkest time of my life. I owe almost everything to him. I wish I could return the favor. The church’s actions are so disturbing and hurtful. I hope for the best for the Dehlin family. I am forever grateful for Dehlin’s.
To the Dehlin family:
Would that I had better words to express what it means to me to have been able to experience all the work that you have supported and worked on with John. My heart was touched, my life improved, and my soul immeasurably enriched. Thank you. Thank you for being brave in the face of opposition, and standing for what’s right and good. Wishing you every blessing and a swift journey toward more peaceful times. I stand with you all.
Dehlins:
Remember, God is just and merciful. Don’t confuse the actions of men with God’s will.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings and will do my best to convey them here. It’s hard to identify when my faith crisis began but it began to peak in about 2011. My bishop told me it was ok to question, but it was not ok to doubt. Things I had learned at my BYU Early Church History class troubled me and when I spoke to friends and family about them, some accused me of being “anti”. My church leaders only knew of one guy who could try to help me with answers but when he started telling me that homosexuals are liars, I ended the conversation. All these things only increased my anxiety, depression, confusion and shame. I felt I had no safe place to turn to. Somehow I stumbled across John Dehlin’s youtube presentation on the myths about members leaving. I felt such relief to find someone who understood my situation. Being able to listen to the Mormon Stories Podcasts was one of the most mentally healthy things I did for myself during my faith crisis. I am 100% convinced that had I not been able to use them to process my own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, that my anxiety and depression would have continued on for much, much longer. I’m so grateful for John and what he has done for the rest of us.
Dehlin family,
As you are aware by now john has helped hundreds of people bare their burdens. Losing your faith is a hard thing to deal with and I’m sure feeling betrayed is just as bad. I hope the best for you and things always work out in the end even if it’s not how you think… Peace.
Margi,
We’ll probably never meet, but I appreciate the hidden support you have given John which has enabled him to make a huge difference in the lives of many. Heartfelt thanks to your children Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston. I hope they grow to appreciate the wonderful work that John is doing.
Sincerely,
Simon
Dehlin Family,
I have benefited from your sacrifice. Because of the efforts of you and John, I was able to find more peace and comfort in a very difficult time than I would have. I was able to find compassion and understanding of the church leaders that I was angry with and confused by. Because of this understanding I gained from Mormon Stories, I did not formally resign from the church like I had planned. I was able to be more understanding towards my family and friends who are active, believing members.
Thanks for your time, sacrifices, and effort.
Dear Dehlins family. Please know that your father/his husband has done far more than he will ever know for gay Mormons. He has literally been a major influence in saving countless gay Mormons lives including my own. Many of us will forever be in debt to his compassion and empathy.
“[I]f, by supporting the rights of mankind and of invincible truth, I shall contribute to save from the agonies of death one unfortunate victim of tyranny, or of ignorance, equally fatal; his blessing and tears of transport, will be a sufficient consolation to me for the contempt of all mankind.” Beccaria, An Essay on Crimes and Punishments 42–43.
Please remember Beccaria’s wise words. We love you.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I admire and respect your husband and father. I am sure that it has been challenging and frustrating for you to have had to share so much of his time and energy with others over the years. I have referred many people to specific podcasts that John has produced, and almost inevitably people tell me that they are answers to prayers. I don’t necessarily agree with John on every issue, but I admire the way in which he has undertaken a deeply personal, honest, informed, and introspective examination of the religion which has played such a formative role in his and your (and most of our) lives — and basically put this process on display for the world to see. I know that John, and all of you, have paid a price for his work; I hope you have some sense of what a significant contribution John has made to Mormonism, and to countless individuals who have found peace and resolution (whether staying in or out of the church) through the materials that John has made available.
I obviously am not aware of the private conversations between John and his local ecclesiastical leaders, but I am deeply disappointed that the institutional church is contemplating subjecting him to church discipline just because he has undertaken a brutally honest examination of his faith. As Joseph Smith once said, “I never thought it was right to call up a man and try him because he erred in doctrine . . . I want the liberty of believing as I please, it feels so good not to be trammeled.” It’s a shame that the church that Joseph Smith organized has strayed so far from these principles.
May God bless each of you.
Dehlin Family,
I have benefited from your sacrifice. Because of the efforts of all of you, I was able to find more peace and comfort in a very difficult time than I would have. I was able to find compassion and understanding of the church leaders that I was angry with and confused by. Because of this understanding I gained from Mormon Stories, I did not formally resign from the church like I had planned. I was able to be more understanding towards my family and friends who are active, believing members.
Thanks for your time, sacrifices, and effort.
This action against John by the brain trust at whatever upper leadership level in the church is totally outrageous. John and the interviews he has conducted over the years through Mormon Stories has been refreshing, enlightening and thought provoking. I hope the responses listed here go viral and shake whoever is responsible for this insanity to take a reality check. If the leadership goes takes action through this disciplinary council I for one will be hanging up my membership. John is no more apostate than B.H. Roberts and he asked some very difficult questions.
Dave
I posted this, (except), a few years back on a blog that I no longer maintain but today it feels relevant again. I have even less of a dog in the fight now than I did back then, but I feel for JD and his family today.
———–
I don’t know John Dehlin at all. I can’t fathom the amount of crap he has to take, the criticism, the requests for personal help and meetings, the accusations from EVERY side. I don’t pretend to know his philosophies on helping people stay or leave the church. I don’t know how he can keep smiling through it all. I don’t care what he does with his money or blame him for asking for help financially – if I could I would. I don’t care that he chooses to ban people from the worlds and environments he creates to do what he does and promote what he cares about and again, I don’t worry about what those promotions or cares may be.
What I do know and do care about is that his work provided hours and hours of thoughtful conversation and dialogue that I consumed – EVERY LAST BIT OF IT. I know that he opened my mind to things I would have shunted to the garbage pit. I know he showed me a side of Mormonism that was just the right temperature at just the right time with the frankness and honesty that had been missing up to that point. I know that much of what I listened to I didn’t like. However, I know that a lot of it was damn near scary in just how perfect it was at just the right time. I listened on my commute to/from work, I listen on runs and while exercising, and I listen during those moments I can close the door to my office. I found time to listen because it was like a drug – I was starved for it.
Maybe John wants to know that he helped me leave the church or maybe that makes him sad. Maybe that doesn’t matter one way or the other to him but I do sincerely think that he would be pleased to know that I am happy and that I warmly credit him with helping me get where I am at now.
I don’t have the guts, the integrity, the smarts, the risk-tolerance, or the personality to do what he does. I could not take the criticism. I listened to it all. I listened to some of it multiple times. I still listen… I am at a very different place now than those years ago when I first found him and his work, but it still stirs something in me even though most of the content is now fascinating for entirely different reasons. I openly criticize his guests while at the same time I ask for more. I grumble that the podcast is three hours long and then grumble again when more content takes so long to show up on my RSS feed. I sincerely despise the bumper music as it starts to play and then I STILL sing along with those hymns that contain so much cultural meaning in my life that I can still get goosebumps hearing them.
Look, I get that John sometimes rubs people the wrong way and that there is no way he can make everyone happy. I feel like for the most part I have moved past where his work can most effectively help me and I now find a more irreverent kinship elsewhere on the internet but I am having a hard time stomaching the criticism leveled at him recently in certain places I frequent. And I think most of that criticism is blatantly rude!
For what it’s worth, John Dehlin, I owe you and I sympathize with you and I deeply respect you. Thank you!
—————
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
Writing to someone who doesn’t know you from Adam feels like a strange thing to do, and especially since I am aware of all of you guys through your husband/father who I only know from listening to podcasts on Mormon Stories. But hearing that John is facing disciplinary action by the church and that all of you are, of course, finding this difficult compels me to write.
I’m recently turned 30 this year. My wife and I were married in the temple last year. Most of my family are members of the church where I was born and grew up in England. I recently came across difficult information about the church without actively searching for anything. I was a blissfully happy unaware member before this. Having Mormon Stories as a support has helped me more than I can explain! I have always felt your husband’s father’s sincerity, as I’m sure all of you do, which is what must make this all the more difficult, confusing and painful when the church you love acts like this towards someone who I know has helped many others in the church navigate a faith crisis. Since becoming aware of issues that were very difficult to deal with for me personally, I since learnt that both my parents (who no longer are together) have separately arrived at similar places, as well as a brother who recently served a faithful mission in Greece. Your podcasts have been a huge help to them as well.
I feel sick to think that this is how the church is treating your husband/father. It is also a sign of how they feel about other honestly questioning members like myself. I know this is not right. My heart goes out to all of you as I can only begin to imagine what a difficult time this is.
I hope that all of you will find peace over the coming days and weeks. Your whole family deserves so much better than treatment like this from the bad decisions of some in the church.
With love,
Luke
Dehlin Family:
Thank you for your personal sacrifice and I am sorry for any negative consequences that you have experienced, and may soon suffer, due to John’s desire to help others. Personally, I have greatly benefited from Mormon Stories. Without Mormon Stories, my wife and I would have felt much more lonely. We would have made our faith transition much less gracefully and probably would lost more friends and respect from family members in the process.
Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
Growing up I wished my parents were more orthodox. My father never served a mission, they weren’t married in the temple, and neither one held callings. But for some reason they took me to church every week. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t belong. I remember wishing that my father had been your typical Mormon father. I wished he would have taken me home-teaching and given me back-to-school priesthood blessings. It would have helped me fit in with my friends at church. I probably would have been more popular at school. Today I am terribly grateful for my parent’s unorthodox approach. It has allowed me to be much more open with them during my recent faith transition. I hope one day, if not right now, you see the silver lining in what is undoubtedly a very tough time. Regardless, I am grateful for your sacrifice.
Best regards,
Cameron
Be proud of your husband and father. Hug him a little tighter tonight.
His path is the very lonely one that few courageous souls dare tread.
Unkind men will try to break his spirit. They are convinced that a loving Heavenly Father requires it.
But we know better.
John, What you and your family have done has already blessed me and mine more than I can put in words. I thank you for taking a stand and letting your voice be heard. You inspire me to do the same and I know many others. You have helped me realize that I’m not the problem and the institution is the problem which unfortunately is confirmed by the forth coming disciplinary action they want to take against you. The best way I can say Thank you is to put my money where my mouth. I’m sending you a donation today because what you have given me is worth more than I can ever repay. Thank you.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I do not know your father. I’ve only listened to a few of his podcasts. At times his podcast/views have….well I’m not much of a fan at times and there’s things I haven’t much appreciated. I’m active LDS, I have come up and found my own way through a number of issues. I can’t say I’ve ever had a real solid moment of massive doubt, faith crises, or anything like it about anything when dealing with the church. So in many ways there wouldn’t be much to have me really stick out in the LDS community (I’m a little more crass, outspoken, democrat-leaning, and browner than your average Mormon…so there’s that ;) ). I say that to say, that in someways I’d probably just blend in with the rest of your ward…and I would accept you and all of your family as still you and still having a home right where you’re at.
But it’s easy to feel that new difference sometimes. There will be those that judge you…and they’re wrong. There will be moments that will be difficult. Truth is truth and the simplest truths are these: You father is still a son of God, he is still your father…there isn’t an end to God’s grace. Where I am different has mattered and it can be a place of alienation if we allow it. But it can also be one of learning. We learn of the frailties of those around us and we learn of the frailties of ourselves. And then we learn to love and see us as God does in those moments.
Difficulties come, but keep Him close. There will be brighter days.
And to John, I may have had some profound disagreements with your thoughts (and still do)…but in whatever state, you are still our brother.
The truth shall set you free! It surly has helped me. Is it not that the entire Christian quest is to know the truth? A Church that does not truly encourage the hearing of different presentations of what the truth is, based on historical facts, is not encouraging freedom and truth . It therefore would be no loss to separate oneself from it. There should be nothing hidden.
When I saw the news on Facebook, my heart sank for all of you. And first off, I want to say that there is no place for the “you are getting what you deserve” type of remarks. I am so sorry for that response which represents to me just complete disregard, and an utter lack of charity.
I came upon Mormon Stories at a real low point in my life and marriage. My husband had been drifting away from the church slowly for years but came to the point where he told me he was done. I was completely devastated and felt that I had nowhere to go with my grief and pain. As members of the church, I feel like we are not well-equipped to discuss doubt. We don’t talk about people leaving, we don’t talk about specific doctrinal/historical issues or how to be a family that doesn’t look like that picture of what a family is supposed to look like. We don’t have the tools to do so and I would say most members feel highly uncomfortable with these subjects.
I had so many questions. I didn’t know how things were going to turn out. I didn’t know how to frame it, and I didn’t know how to deal with the overwhelming despair. That is when I started listening to John. I heard podcasts with people talking about their experiences of spouses leaving the church – both the person leaving, and the person staying. I felt that I was given permission to be optimistic and hopeful. Other people were making it work, and there were even inherent opportunities for growth and exposure to different beliefs and walks of life. I came to grips with my situation, and I no longer felt so alone and afraid. Mormon Stories also gave me a safe place to learn more about the specific issues my husband had with church history. I had felt so unable to hear him and understand what he was experiencing up to that point. But John gave me the possibility to learn about difficult subjects while providing explanations and ways to think about it that would allow me to continue being a faithful member. I always found him to be fair and even-handed with his guests and subject matter.
Unfortunately, my husband later revealed to me that he no longer loved me and didn’t wish to save the relationship. It was another devastating blow, but I am doing well now and am still an active member of the church. I will always remember John with fondness and gratitude for getting me through a really awful time. I needed that strength and that place to explore my feelings.
I’m so sad and disappointed to hear what is going on now. I know that your family has been supportive and just plain incredible every step of this spiritual journey, and I know that John’s level of honesty has been above reproach, no matter where he was with the church or what he was feeling. I am so sorry and I wish that this wasn’t happening. It is a huge price to pay for providing this forum for us “strugglers.” I will be praying for a positive outcome, and I want to thank you Margi, and your beautiful children for the personal sacrifices you have made over the years to make Mormon Stories possible. SO MUCH love your way.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. I truly do feel that in this case the messenger is simply getting shot down. I saw John’s TEDx talk, and it was so poignant and compassionate and had the distinct discomfort of truth.
There is a problem with the way homosexual people are being treated in Utah. It is a problem. One with serious consequences. Pretending a problem doesn’t exist, doesn’t make it go away. Giving people a voice is so important, and I feel like John has worked very hard toward that.
We have the technology and the time and the know-how to allow everyone to be heard. What we need, are people that are willing to talk, people willing to platform, and especially in this case people willing to listen.
Being an advocate for someone’s rights when it is unpopular sometimes means sacrificing your individual needs for someone else’s, and in that way I can’t see John’s actions as anything less than Christlike, charitable, and compassionate.
Perhaps John’s actions have offended some people, but they’ve also helped real people in a real way. Sins of omission are sins nonetheless and being blind to people’s pain or needs is still wrong. What John has done is admirable and I think few of us are strong enough to put our morality before our religion. Thank you John. You are so good.
John,
We believe in being honest (excepting about the history of the church), true (excepting the church teachings around the gospel regarding unimportant blocking issues like gender and piercings), chaste (excepting Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and many other church leaders), benevolent (excepting in regards to good people who help others with their doubts), virtuous (the women must be but the men can get away with substantial sins/crimes and remain church members), and in doing good to all men (excepting LGBT, blacks and apostates). Indeed we may say we follow the admonition of Paul, we believe all things (that Monson and the quorum of the 15 tell us, even if they don’t agree with past teachings), we hope all things (excepting full membership for women, blacks before 1979, LGBT and apostates), we have endured many things (at least this one is mostly correct – the church misleads about the reasons for the endurance in many cases) and hope to be able to endure all things…..
You’ve heard from me a few times over the years. Thank you for your help in getting me through the tough times knowing there are others out there like me.
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I’m so sorry about decisions being made in regards to your dad. I’m sorry that you are all probably feeling sad and hurt. Thank you for sharing your dad with so many people who have found strength through his work. He has given so many people hope and a sense of belonging. I hope you will always feel proud of him. If he were my dad I would be bursting with pride!
Dear Dehlin family,
I have tried before, but cannot imagine what it must be like for all of you having John as your Husband or father.
He has helped so many of us. We who seek. He helped me to see, first, that I was not alone. And then, how to find my way toward peace within myself, my marriage, my family and my community. I am still on that journey and I sincerely thank you for supporting him as he has supported so so many.
Tears stream down my face as I think now about what your family is going through now.
And “comfort those who stand in need of comfort”. I pray that you may all feel comforted, and know the deep gratitude that I and so many others have for the honest and courageous work your husband and father has done.
May god bless you all and may you feel peace.
Dear Dehlins,
John has been an enormous help to me as I have struggled with my testimony in the church. It is because of him that I have found the strength and courage to stand up for what is right and stand up for love. I don’t know what you are going through, but John has been a huge blessing to me and thousands like me. I pray for you.
– Zac Erickson, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada
Be proud of your husband and father. Hug him a little tighter tonight.
His path is the very lonely one that few courageous souls dare tread.
Unkind men will try to break his spirit. They are convinced a loving Heavenly Father requires it.
But we know better.
Margi and family,
I know this must be difficult for you. I feel like the only reason I keep my name on the records is for the sake of my family. I don’t want them to have to deal with the stigma associated.
John has helped me deal something that ultimately wasn’t making me happy. His work has also helped countless people stay in the church and I truly believe that he is an honest searcher, not wanting to stir up trouble. I fully believe that the action being taken by the LDS church is political and strategic and is a bullying tactic.
My heart feels for you as a family who gets caught in this crossfire. Please continue to love and respect your father for the honest work he has done. Don’t let that love be tainted by the misunderstandings, judgements and cruel actions of those who don’t follow the example of him whose name their church bears.
I will add my voice to the many above that John Dehlin has mourned with those that mourn, offered comfort to those that stand in need of comfort, and has stood as a witness of God and love. Surely he is worthy of any and all blessings, as are you, his family. I hope that you can find comfort and peace as I was able to with the help of John’s work.
Wanting to acknowledge the great work John has done.Firstly Margi, thank you for allowing john to come down this route and share with us the true Panoramic view of the faith that i love and still fellowship with. John saved me, saved my life, and most dear to me my marriage. I will always be in debt to john and his podcast, but not with thanking you Margi, and for all the support you have done behind the scenes. Support that merits huge recognition. And to Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston, know that you have a fantastic Dad, who has done much for the health and wellbeing of members like. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time. God speed.
Dear Dehlin family,
Thank you for sharing your husband and father with the world. I know you have likely missed out on time with John, as he’s met with and talked with so many people seeking wisdom and kindness and understanding.
In 2006, I found Mormon Stories podcast. For the better part of a decade, your husband and father’s work has helped me make sense of my heritage and faith and my place in it. And the podcasts are just so interesting!
If I hadn’t discovered MS those years ago, I likely would have left the church, which means I almost certainly wouldn’t have married my wonderful wife and had my three children. My life has been blessed immeasurably by John’s courage, compassion, and thoughtfulness.
Thank you, again for sharing John.
John-
I am sorry to hear that even you have to experience, first hand, what so many of your listeners/followers already have gone through. But, if anyone is armed to handle this situation it is you!!! I am sure that many hands will reach out to you, as you have reached out (and will continue to reach out) to us.
Maybe the events are the nature of all things; another bump in the road and a learning experience. Whatever will happen, I am sure that you will make the best of the situation AND that your experience, indirectly, will benefit your future clients – in your field of psychology.
Take care and good luck!
Dearest Dehlin Family,
Please know that even when others may choose differently, each of you, and especially your father, have been loved and will always be loved by me and my family. I cannot express the depth our gratitude.
The Christensen Family
Farmington, Utah
WOW.
https://oi57.tinypic.com/2l9tjk7.jpg
Dehlin family-
I am sorry to hear that John have to experience, first hand, what so many of his listeners/followers already have gone through. But, if anyone is armed to handle this situation it is John!!! I am sure that many hands will reach out to him/you, as he has reached out (and will continue to reach out) to us.
Maybe the events are the nature of all things; another bump in the road and a learning experience. Whatever will happen, I am sure that he will make the best of the situation AND that your experience, indirectly, will benefit his future clients – in his field of psychology.
Take care and good luck!
Dehlin Family:
When I heard that John was facing disciplinary action by the church, I was crushed. John means so much to me. Several years ago I went through a crisis of faith that left me in a very dark place. I came across the Mormon Stories podcast and consumed all of the content I could find. John made me feel that doubting was ok and, more importantly, that I wasn’t alone. Knowing that there are other people that have the same questions as I do has changed my outlook on life. I am still an active member of the church and I am much happier than I have been in the past.
John is such an incredible person–don’t listen to anyone that tries to tell you anything different.
Take care,
John B.
Seattle, WA
Dear John and Family:
It is disheartening to think that ward members and friends could change how they feel about you because of a church disciplinary counsel. I hope they are better people than that.
I want to add my name to the long list of people who are grateful for John’s contribution to the gospel conversation. He has been a beacon of light for those who felt they were alone in their struggles with church history and doctrine. He has been an example of respect and intellectual fairness.
Thank you for taking the road less travelled and allowing us the privilege of seeing our own challenges reflected in your journey. May God bless all of you and may He grant you the strength to find peace in your moments of need.
You’re a good person John. Membership status in an organization doesn’t change that.
John:
Your work has brought me back to the Mormon Church. I have been totally inactive for over a decade. The thoughts and ideas that you ventilated through your podcast have convinced me that the LDS Church is a Christ-centered church with a lot of strange cobwebs that are vastly outweighed by its message of repentance, turning to God, and living in a community of love for each other.
However (and I say this in a spirit of constructiveness), your podcasts have at times been unfair to the Mormon Church. You came across as anti-LDS in the Sandra Tanner podcast episodes, especially at the end when you lifted the replica of the golden plates and chuckled at the claim that anyone could carry it long distances. An objective interviewer would probably not have done that. I’m not surprised that the LDS Church is now considering disciplinary action against you. After the Sandra Tanner podcast, I unsubscribed from Mormon Stories because I decided it was an advocacy podcast, not a discussion and exploration podcast.
Your wife and children must be extraordinary people. You are lucky to have them as your family. I wish you all well, and hope you find a way to stay in the Church. Your talents could be used in so many wonderful ways.
Dehlin Family,
In everything I’ve read of John’s, I felt amazed by his desire to learn more about things that trouble him, and to try to make the church a more welcoming place. Your stories are an inspiration. This news cannot be easy, but know that you did the right thing and that the world is a better place for your efforts.
Jared
John ment the world to me in my deepest moment of dispare. He really helped me when I was totally alone in my search for truth. I am truely greatfull for all he has done. I believe he does what he feels is right, wich is the best a man can do…
Thank you John and thank you family for all you have endured an all the time and effort invested…
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I want to tell you that your husband and father, John, means the world to me. He is a courageous, valiant, noble defender of truth, who has also always defended his religion and its beliefs. He is a rare human being who dared to draw a line in the sand and not tolerate lies, nor hatred, nor bigotry, and has done so with kindness and compassion in his heart. You are very fortunate to have such a strong and loving man leading your family. I understand this is a very tough time for you, but you will find the strength to conquer, because love conquers all. John has helped me, and so many others to find this strength in moments of despair. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have him. God bless you all..
I don’t know that I could say it any better, Bob. Thank you for so wonderfully stating what so many of us feell! John is a beacon to and a voice for us all. Thank you John! And your amazing (supportive) family!
Dehlin Family,
Your husband and father has been an advocate and ally for members/sympathizers of the church who are different and often marginalized. In the near future your family may become a type of family that is not often present in our meeting houses. Aside from being your anchor, he will also get to be an advocate for people like you who don’t fill the “normal Mormon” criteria. I wish you all the best and you have my love.
Mr. Dehlin, I respect your opinions and the work that you do. While I have followed your work over the years I just now realized that you married a friend and class mate of mine from Florida.
Margi and I went to the same high school and had seminary at her house. My thought are with you and your family and we wish you all the best.
Matt Williams
Now an attorney/artist in Salt Lake, I now go by my middle name Tyler.
All I can say is I friggin truly enjoy the podcasts. I have learned to be a lot less judgemental of people and have learned from many great guests. Keep the podcasts and videos coming. Time for some documentaries.
Your dad is a hero!! What all of you are fighting for is worth whatever negativity that will surely come your way. Stand strong and stick to your beliefs!
Hi Dehlin family.
Remember that no matter what happens and no matter how others may judge you or treat you……you have an inherent worth and value that can not be altered. So much good has your father and your family done in support of him. That is a truth that will never fade. Good is good. Love is love. Nothing else matters. Thanks to all of you for helping to make this world a more loving place.
I have never commented before but because of this request I will. I do think of John as a hero though I have never met him. I could never have been so brave to do what he has done, but I have reaped the benefits. That includes finding a community of support he created, learning how to navigate a faith transition, and finding a safe outlet for questions. I hope you realize the positive change your dad has brought to the world. Many great people historically were outcasts from the religion of their day, including but not limited to Joan of Arc, Martin Luther, and Jesus. Your dad has good company.
John and family,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done and sacrificed for so many of us. When I had my faith crisis your work was invaluable in helping me find the truth. We have always been taught to live by honesty and integrity. When you know better you do better. You helped free me and life is so much better and authentic. We all have sacrifices for leaving and it should not be that way. I pray for you all as you experience the sacrifices that you are being forced into. Be strong and stick together. We are all here for you.
Apostasy for what? I have heard more truth from mormon stories than most other sources. May your family prosper and be protected. The truth needs no defending.
I guess building malls, hotels, and tourist attractions bring the brotheryn more light and joy than answering the humble proletariats’ questions about the organization that claims to be the “true church.” Shame on you for you truth seeking, John.
Where’s the leadership, to guide us in these latter days? You are like Samuel the Lamanite. You are not from the right family, you are not the typical mormon, your are an outsider. How dare you challenge the old white pioneer heritage leaders in Utah.
I am embarrassed to belong to belong to the same organization that claims you to be an apostate. May you find strength in Christ, he loves you even if the brotheryn do not.
Dear, Dehlin Family-
From the first time I heard John talk about his mission experience and his intense and complex feelings about the baptismal practices that had been going on there, I knew–for maybe the first time in my life–that there was someone else who really understood what it feels like to love a faith, a tradition, and a people, and be simultaneously devastated by it.
But, unlike so many destructive others, your father and husband took that pain and concern and, in his search for happiness and truth, created a haven for so many others like him (and like me) to explore their feelings of hurt or confusion or doubt or isolation in a safe, fair, but complex way
Without the Mormon Stories podcast, I’m not sure I’d have survived my period of struggle. But, I did survive and have come out the other end a more loving, empathetic person–for Mormons of all types–but, especially those misunderstood masses who have only found their way to doubt due to their thoughtfulness and faithfulness and earnest seeking for what is good and true.
Of course, John’s listenership is broad in it’s make-up. I’m sure there are many listeners who hate the church and wish it harm. But, I know without a doubt that there are many others who are some of the most anxiously engaged in their faith, throughout the entire church. These are often highly-moral people who know the most about the gospel and who care the most about their faith, about their brothers and sisters in God, and about the future of the church. Through the Mormon Stories podcast, John gave those of us starving for meat after a lifetime of milk the opportunity to have proxy conversations–and intense personal experiences–with our religions most brilliant minds and the pillars of modern Mormondom, as they shared their stories, and their lives’ work, in a way never before so detailed or accessible. Over time, John created, a listenership full of the most “active” members of the church. People grappling with Mormonism minute-to-minute, hour by hour, day to day–not just for three hours on Sunday.
As I’ve taught Elders’ Quorum or Primary or the Young Men and Women over the years (always with these diluted, over-correlated materials and shoddy, dishonest artistic renditions of our history and faith), I have often day-dreamed of a time when the church would take notice of John’s effectiveness in building saints who are truly engaged in those principles of “search, ponder, and pray” and trust their membership with a more complete look at their history and doctrine, believing that, having a fullness of understanding, they would still “choose the right.”
Even when his personal faith wavered (and was perhaps lost), your husband and father has been publicly respectful of the church and–more than that–an ambassador to the world for an honest, relevant, Mormonism based on integrity and inclusion and hope . He did what was right. Unfortunately, the consequences that followed reflect the saddest possible outcome.
I’m further saddened that this disciplinary action against John will, no doubt, be the final straw for many strong people that could have been used by the church to build a new, modern Zion, and will push away far more souls than he could have ever possibly “lead astray” (if he had ever desired to do such a ridiculous thing). This action by the church shows a lack of understanding into the the hearts and minds of so many who struggle, but want to stay.
My heart is heavy for him and for you today, but I want you to know that, as much pain as this may be causing you, your father and husband’s contribution to this church and it’s membership–past and present–has been substantial. He is one of the noble and great ones. Thank you for sharing him with us at great personal cost. I know that my life is better for it. I cannot pay you back, but I will try to pay it forward. Much love and empathy to your family from ours.
Such beautiful sentiments. I couldn’t add anything that hasn’t already been expressed here. I’ll just agree that the window you opened up to us into the minds and faiths and such great Mormon scholars and others like us gave me the support I’ve needed to stay while I continue to work and wrestle with the issues and my own faith. Thank you for that contribution and for your good and compassionate heart, John.
Thank you so very much for your great articulation for what many of us are feeling. You spoke so well. Thanks again.
This is so well said, thank you for articulating this.
Dehlin Family,
I stand with you! Your father and husband is a great man. He has helped so many people who have needed help. One of those people is me. His activism helped me piece my life together when I badly needed it. You should be so proud of and grateful for your father and husband. No “religion” can snuff out the voice of a true hero.
I know you already know this, but I stand with you John! Be brave!
Sincerely and with love,
Clint McKinlay
Dear Dehlin Family,
Please know that that you are loved and appreciated so much and by so many. It is a sad day, but we all look forward to better times.
Dear Dehlin family,
I am sorry for the grief, fear, and pain you must be experiencing right now. I have long admired John’s courage and desire for truth. I hope you find peace and comfort through this difficult time.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Six years ago I joined the Church with some reluctance. I had spent quite a bit of time searching for a spiritual home and found so much that the Church had to offer to be meaningful to me. However, there was so much about the conservative, at times authoritarian, nature of the Church that worried me. It was when I discovered Mormon Stories that my heart was gladdened to find a community of people within the Church that celebrated intellectualism and independence. It was because of the hope inspired by the Mormon Stories community that I felt that there was a place for me in the Church.
Throughout these six years I have served a mission for the Church as well as in several different callings, and spent several semesters at Southern Virginia University. My entire experience with Mormonism has been blanketed by the love I have felt by the Mormon Stories community, and for that I am so very grateful. However, for the last 18 months I have been transitioning out of the Church. The community started by your husband and father has also stood by me through this difficult journey. Though I do not believe any of the truth claims of the Church any longer, I do believe in John Dehlin and the Mormon Stories community. They have been a constant source of comfort and strength through the many challenges I have faced these 6 years.
While I plan on resigning from the Church (a decision that has been prompted by the excommunication of your father and Ordain Women founder, Kate Kelly), I do not plan on ever resigning from the Mormon Stories community because it has changed my life for the better.
The sacrifices you have made have surely been difficult, and those which you will soon face will bring even more trials. But, if it is of any comfort, know that your husband and father, John Dehlin, has done good for me and for many others.
Best wishes and sincerest gratitude,
Ed Watson
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston,
John’s work on the Mormon Stories Community & Podcast are one of the few reasons I’m still in the church today, after a very difficult crisis of faith. He has created one of the only safe places to grapple with difficult questions about the church. For that, he and you all have my deepest thanks. My thoughts and prayers are with you through any suffering this ordeal may cause. Continue to express your faith as you see fit and remember that the practice of “pure religion” is not tied to membership in any church. I believe God will work out for good the salvation all those whose hearts are right. You’re welcome in my ward any day of the week.
Dear Dehlin Family.
Up to an hour ago, I had no idea who John Dehlin is.
I read the news article about you. I am not going to say if you are right or wrong, simply because I do not know enough about you and your MormonStories.
But I do want you to know that if I would live in your city and was a member in your ward, nothing would change.
I live in The Netherlands and am a member for 38 years.
If members in your ward or stake or where ever would change their behavior to your wife or your children, they should have to be ashamed.
I would not change my behavior towards you, I would feel sad, and very sorry for you, for what you would lose if you were to be excommunicated.
But I would definitely not change my behavior towards you.
If we were friends, I would still be your friend.
I mean what friend would I be, if I would leave you by yourself in times of need.
And definitely I would be the same friend to your family.
Sincerely,
Job B.Hartgers. The Netherlands.
Thank you Dehlin family for sharing your husband/father with us!
He’s brought light into very difficult topics in the church and has helped me in my journey.
This is not the end for you. It’s a transition and humans have always proven to be very resilient.
I wish you well!
With deepest gratitude,
Worthy Lee
I posted on another page, but I’ll post again. Don’t go to the trial. 12 men who are part time judges are not in a position to judge you. In the words of frozen….let it go… write a letter to the church and do not give them the opportunity to ex you. Remove yoursel and dont give them the chance to judge. It doesnt matter anyway.
Dear Dehlin’s,
I simply add my small voice to tell you how incredible your dad is. No, he’s not perfect…you probably know better than me, right? But he is wonderfully kind, generous, courageous, loving, inspiring, caring, and I could go on and on. In what was the darkest and loneliest time of my life, John was willing to meet me for lunch and buy me ice cream at the USU dairy. That brief encounter saved me…my sanity, my marriage, perhaps my life, and I will be forever in his debt. I am sending every positive vibe and wish that I have your way during this trying time. Hang in there…love your husband/dad…I know he loves you.
Wayne Perry
Dear Dehlin family,
I want to express my condolences for what must be a difficult time right now.
I left the LDS church two years ago and suddenly found my relationships with every Mormon who I knew had changed – even though I was the exact same person. John’s work helped me to feel like not all Mormons were playing a game of “Hate The Ex-Mormon” and his studies on why people leave helped me convince some of my friends and family that I didn’t leave out of desire to sin, because I was offended, or because I was lazy – and that helped immensely. If every person who considered himself Mormon were like John, there would be a lot less animosity toward the church from the people who leave it.
I hope the best for all of you!
Love and truth is the right and only way.
Hello Dehlin Family,
Thank you so much for helping share the incredible burden and social pressure that have arisen from John’s podcast and efforts. You all are heroes to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Though we have no knowledge of what took place or why the disciplinary action occurred, we certainly wish you the best in your return.
Dear Margi & Kids,
I am so sorry to learn of this today. I wish you did not have to struggle with this heartbreak today and during the many years to come. It is and will be hard, and most definately is wrong and unjust. It is not a Christ like act, but one of desperation by Church top leadership to try to stop the sharing of truthful informaton that enables people to make up their own minds about the Church. Also they wish to discredit and ruin his credibility with this “Church Court” and they don’t care that this will also hurt you. Your husband/dad has helped tens of thouands of people like me who have had questions and hearbreak in Church matters. Thankyou for the many years your dad/husband has been doing the interviews on an informed and honest level. I know you have sacrified much time and activities with him. Please know there are thousands of people that care about what you go through because of this even though it may not feel like it in your small town. I will continue to support your family as always. Love Cheryl
Dear Family
Man, is the world a confusing and complicated place, or what? As my dad would say, this ride we call life wasn’t meant to be simple or easy. Decisions aren’t always clear cut… that happens as we become adults, it’s something I wouldn’t have understood as a child. I thought things were black and white back then. I definitely hope the whole family finds peace and happiness as you continue the ride. God is at the helm. Your dad/husbands work has had a huge, helpful positive impact on me. I am a recently returned missionary.
Laura
My wife and I have spent the past nine years with John in our ears. We are so grateful that you have shared him with us, willingly or not. Our tears today are for you.
It has been years now since I found your Dad’s site. His interviews have kept me company during lonely times and helped me envision a different kind of future for myself. I shared his stories with a cousin struggling in marriage, with friends who have since left, and many siblings. They have shared them with others including a handful of Seminary teachers. I hope these interview will be around long after we are all gone. John’s influence knows no bounds. Don’t let the church make you believe you should be ashamed of your Dad. And try not to be afraid. God knows his heart. The church can’t take away his big heart or change God’s love.
shocked
Josi
Support coming to you from across the Atlantic. Your dad/ husband is loved, admired and NEEDED all over the world. Just hold on to each other during this tough time. Your true friends will stay. I do not believe God punishes us for thinking and all of us who love John have a brain unfortunately. Would be easier if we didn’t !!
What if we make buttons saying “I support the Dehlins” to wear to sacrament , sell them for $2 and give the money to the perpetual education fund? Let them know we support educated mormons :)
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am sorry for the pain you are going through. Please know that the efforts expended on Mormon Stories have helped me save my marriage and navigate a very difficult transition. It would have been much more difficult without Mormon Stories helping me still feel part of the Mormon community and that my Mormon heritage is something greater than my beliefs. Unfortunately, this action confirms my fears that there is no place for me in the church any longer. Thank-you for allowing John to stand as a proxy for all of us who feel alienated by the inability to express our selves in the Mormon faith. I’m sorry that your family is taking the brunt of what many of us wish we were willing to commit the time and energy to do.
Dear Delhin Family,
I don’t know John in person, but understand that he has done a great service to me.
I am grateful that I found this website(and stayinglds.com)created by John. The honest and open discussions here have only helped me resolve my doubts, stay in the church, and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a deeper level. All I can say is that the discussions here have been the best resource for me to reconcile Church issues and finally grow again in my faith. John has been doing a great service to people like me. Having shared that, this news is surprising and unfortunate. I would just like to express my appreciation for for supporting him.
Warmest regards,
Chris
Dear Kids,
I can’t say this is all okay, or that it’ll all be fine, or that you don’t have reason to be mad. Your Dad did a lot of great things, and a lot of human things, and I know he probably made your lives harder. I just want to give you an idea of the results.
People like me lived in a place where we couldn’t ask the hard questions, where we had to put up a front to make others happy. Kids know what that’s like, living for someone else. Your dad gave us a place to finally talk, to ask, to cry, to yell, to get better. For some of us, he helped us move forward with love instead of getting stuck. For some, he helped save their families or their testimonies or their lives. He may have hurt some people with the truth. But he has earned our trust with his honesty. Your dad is one big allegory of the cost of honesty. And he did what gets the messenger shot every time: Speaking Truth to Power.
He doesn’t have an Iron Man suit, but I hope you see him as a hero nonetheless. I hpoe your lives are stronger. We love you and will think of you. Thanks for making our lives better!
I don’t mean to make light of a difficult situation. I appreciate what your dad and father have done for me. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
A decade ago my husband and I made the decision together to leave the church we loved and served for all our lives, along with our four children. It was so heart wrenching and many nights spent in agonizing tears. Initially he left the church and I assumed we were doomed to divorce. But we realized our family and our love was worth more than any religion and decided to put each other first. John has been a kind familiar voice on the other end of podcasts that reaffirms I made the right choice and my heart is happy. I appreciate his work as it helps me be grateful for my wonderful life as a humanist. My children are so kind, loving, accepting & tolerant, because they have parents that love and adore them unconditionally and made a really hard decision years ago for them. Much love.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Your father and husband have been a light at a very dark hour for me! I respect him so much and he truly has become a hero of mine! Thanks for sharing him with me! Know that I am 100% on his side!
Dear Dehlins,
My initial blood-boiling reaction to hearing this news was to leave the church for good, and never come back. Almost immediately after that however, I felt a warm peace flowing over me, knowing that your dad and your family are incredibly loved and supported by our Heavenly Father. If I were to leave a church I love simply because I was offended by an action I thought was a mistake (such a huge mistake!), I would be ignoring the real reason I go to church: because I believe this restored gospel is true. I don’t always understand it, and have often let my doubts lead me to shame and isolation, but your dad’s work here on this website has made me stronger and dissipated my fear of being a little different from the status quo. Your father gives me bravery, and I think you are blessed to have him in your lives. Stay strong, and remember to continue to love those who may not understand what you are going through. When I am having a horrible day, or I am feeling any kind of emotional pain, I’ve found that serving others always makes me feel better. So if you are reading this, and if today has been tougher on you than you could have imagined, go out and do something for somebody else. I promise it will put things back into perspective. My prayers are with you.
Noam Chomsky (a person whom I admire and respect) recently said in an interview, “Most of all you have to ask, Is it true? A pretty good criterion is that if some doctrine is widely accepted without question, it’s probably false.”
John Dehlin asks questions. There is no shame or wrong doing by questioning. Remember, the only dumb questions are the ones that aren’t asked. And if an organization fears or deters anyone from asking questions, then it’s pretty much a ‘no brainer’ that the answers aren’t ‘pretty’.
Be proud of your dad! He’s doing what Jesus did, i.e., question and stand up to the status quo. In the meantime, kids, stand by your dad and:
Let it go,
Let what’s gone or ought’a go, go;
There’s better to come what you’ve come to outgrow.
Just know what’s important, though,
What is, what isn’t to keep or let go;
Then detach, relax and enjoy the show;
And when the hot air starts to blow
With a, “Hey, bro,”
“It’s this way; you ought to know!”
Or a, “Hey, bro,”
“You need to keep the status quo!”
no, no, no
It’s Your Own life, its ebb and flow,
So live Your Own life, and know
You’re at Your Own helm, so…
Let it go,
Let what’s gone or ought’a go, go;
There’s better to come what you come to outgrow.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
John is loved and admired by so many all over the world for his honesty and integrity and gentle strength. I’m in Switzerland and listen to his podcasts on my daily walks. His courageous work has been a light and an inspiration to me, and a voice of hope and comfort. And I love hearing him speak so affectionately about his wonderful family. You are so blessed to have each other. Hold on tight.
With gratitude,
Allison
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Over the years of hearing so much from your father, I have often wondered about you. I’ve been concerned that you might be facing a childhood with issues that most of us never would have had to worry about when we were growing up. Frankly, I’ve even wondered and worried about whether you were getting enough time and attention from your father. I’m sure you know better than any of us your fathers mistakes and imperfections. And without knowing any of those particulars for myself, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for any of the sacrifices you have had to make as a result of your dad’s work and activism.
His work has changed the course of my existence. He helped pull me from a dark place in my life path. He helped me navigate some very difficult territory in my journey. And I am very grateful to him for the help he offered me that has brought me positive mental health and a whole lot of happiness. My wife and I have been able to enhance our marriage with advice and information from your dad. And our relationship to our religion has been enhanced.
It now seems that your dad is going to be removed from the church and religion that I still attend and am active in. I’m really sorry for that, but I feel strongly that history will look back very favorably on the things your dad has done. While family relationships can be complex, I hope that you will always be proud of the good things that have been accomplished by your dad and whole family. People have beens served and have had their lives improved substantially, and you were a part of it. And I think the best times are still ahead for you and all of us.
I’ve linked to this website on many occasions because of the depth of historical information that John Dehlin delicately organizes and provides with his masterful interviews. John Dehlin has surely stamped his name in the history pages as a man who brought forth (brings forth) valuable information pertaining to all things Mormonism and human rights (particularly LGBT rights). He has his own wikipedia page, check it out: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Dehlin).
Holy crap, did that wikipedia page say Summa Cum Laude from BYU?! A Masters degree and now a Ph.D… I’m thinking John Dehlin is a pretty smart guy!! He should be applauded for contributing to remarkable, insightful, and profound interviews pertaining to LDS history, and for being a sensitive, caring, and loving human rights advocate.
Think about it this way: at the end of the day John Dehlin is a champion of human rights, has a library of valuable information in his brain (and organizes and shares it with us through this website!!), has a greater perspective on mormonism than most people (having interviewed lots of blockbuster names in Mormonism), and he masterfully balances his professional life with his family life, that I’m sure is his #1 priority.
As a lover of good, reliable, accurate information, I am VERY grateful to John Dehlin for providing the world with amazing interviews and consistent, profound, and insightful information! Thank you for all that you do John Dehlin, you are a wonderful human being and I am thankful people like you exist in this confusing and conflicting world.
I am so grateful for the space that John has created that has enabled me to address my questions and to work through them alongside other thoughtful and honest individuals. He’s a courageous man and has inspired me to give greater credit to my own feelings and ideas that belong sometimes alongside and sometimes opposite from the prominent figures that have reared my spiritual education.
My heart hurts to know that the church I love may no longer have a space created for him.
‘I FEEL GRATEFUL FOR BROTHER DEHLIN TO THE AMOUNT OF $25; HOW MUCH DO YOU ALL FEEL GRATEFUL?’ (https://www.mormonstories.org/donate/)
**MAKE THIS COMMENT GO VIRAL**
Mormon Stories will never be the same! John cannot be excommunicated without a huge uprising and grass-roots backlash. We need to break the bank fundraising to show our disdain for the punishment of an honest man and to show how much we love his life’s work, Mormon Stories podcast: the most honest evaluation of Mormonism available anywhere in the world!
It’s time to give back to John for championing the change we all need, the change that the church needs and will soon adopt. We all stand on his shoulders. He should be memorialized in statue for the courage he’s demonstrated. He has used non-aggressive means to bring about change that otherwise never would have happened and this has freed me and many others! He is to me and many others what MLK is to African Americans and Nelson Mandella is to south Africans. Sure we are fewer in number, but my life and my freedom is all that matters to me, so in my circle of influence, his name will be revered to my children and my children’s children.
John, the church is changing because of you! In coming years, your family will be so proud of you that it will more than eclipse the pain they feel today. Your efforts have brought more peace into my life than I thought possible and I’ve never even met you. That’s what this has meant for me! Thank you.
Likely like thousands of other, after years of benefit from your site, this is my first time to leave a comment. This is the time for everyone to leave a comment! My thoughts are with you,
Clay Hess, MD
Hello Dehlin Family,
My wife and I met in Logan years back while attending USU, so we understand how tightly knit the LDS community is there. As a lifelong Mormon, I must share how influential and helpful your Dad has been while seeking understanding about my own faith. While many Church leaders, family members, and friends never attempted to lend support during my difficult times, your brave Dad created a place of refuge. And not just for me obviously, but thousands of others who share similar views. He’s been a beacon of strength. I send your family all of my love and support!
Dehlin Family,
As a Mormon, growing up gay is not an easy thing. Your father has been one of my greatest heroes and is one of the main reasons that I’m still a member today. He has shown me that there are good, loving, caring, and compassionate people in the church, something that I had began to doubt. He literally saved my life. I’ll be praying for you.
Dear Dehlin Family
This will be a difficult time for you. Make no mistake. However, something significant is happening in your lives. You are standing for what you believe to be right under difficult circumstances. Thank you for your courage. I sincerely hope this will bless your individual and family life(s). Please know that there are many who stand with you. You have our admiration and support. Try not to pay too much attention to those who do not understand why you are doing what you are doing. Stay the course you set for your self. This is tru faith – following truth.
Dear Dehlin family,
You’ve bravely, openly walked the line between believers and non-believers. I was born in lovely Logan. You can feel the pockets of ultra-conservative and USU liberal (actually moderate) from one subdivision to the next. Continue being a strong family. Choose family and true friends over church/club/clique. Don’t “kick against the pricks”, let them go on record and speak their tiny minds. Be well.
I have only been listening to this podcast for the past 1 1/2 years but I am so grateful for the people and topics shared here. While I don’t agree with everything said and done here, my heart needed to be opened so I could better love others around me who may feel marginalized on important issues to them. My bishop recently said disagreeing doesn’t have to mean contending. And yet contention will land all around you and I just want you to feel my gratitude and love for you. Thank you, John’s family, for all that you have endured and all that you will endure. My prayer is that you will be blessed with discernment, patience and faith and with true friends to help bear you up come what may. And the same to you John! Hugs from Germany!
I am so grateful to all those who have taken the time to comment – to show love and gratitude to the Dehlin family. People who have not been through a faith crisis do not know of the devastating heartbreak and excruciating loneliness the can be one’s constant companion. The one thing that began to mend my heart, and make me feel connected with another was John’s podcasts. I am so grateful for his candor, and articulation regarding church issue. John, his podcasts, and his sincerely loving approach has been the tiny spark in many people’s very dark place. For many that spark has grown to be a warm, cozy and inviting safe-haven. A most sincere thank you to you, John, and Margi, and your beautiful children.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I just want to say thank you so much for sharing John with us.
Johns work helped me when I needed it most, and it has provided invaluable assistance to me in order to navigate a mixed-faith marriage.
Runar
To Each of You in the Amazing Dehlin Family….
I am really sad about all of this.
John I admire you so very much for your courage to stand up for what you believe to be true. You have been (and still are) a voice for countless others.
I can only imagine how difficult this has been and is on each of you.
Brave Souls, such as your family, are forging through some very rough waters for the rest of us. thank you….
My hope for you children is that you can feel the respect, admiration, gratitude and love many, many people have for your dad. He is an amazing man as your mother is an amazing woman. I hope your friends and family will be very loving, kind and supportive to you. You deserve nothing less.
Sending my Love and heartfelt gratitude for each of You…
Syd
John, the message I’d give your family is the same one I give to my son when I have to be away from him (I serve in the Armed Forces):
Sometimes some peoples’ daddies have to go and help others who really need their help. You’ll be alone sometimes, it won’t be fun, and you’ll be the one making the greatest sacrifice. But your daddy is the one that has to go help these people – if he doesn’t go, no one else will.
Your family needs to know how much you mean to me and others like me. Thank you for letting your dad do what he does.
John is a hero!
John, you have helped me to be less ignorant of factual evidence regarding several subject. Continue to speak the truth brother.
I can only say that I am writing this from Belgium – guess that the fact that what John has done has reached us in Europe is a great indication of how important his work is. Facts and science should not be hidden. If one can’t question and seek truth, how can one say that he is not being indoctrinated by a cult?
Best,
Maria
I feel very fortunate to have found John’s podcast at a time when I began allowing myself to ask hard questions about the church. Sometimes I felt like running for the doors and never looking back, a decision I’m grateful to have avoided.
In large part through the podcast, there was space for me to learn answers in a way that would allow me to stay or go slowly, without making rash decisions. I’m not sure what my wife and I would have done without it.
Thank you!
Dear Dehlins
I can’t imagine how hard a time this must be for you, and I imagine in the coming days week months it’s not going to get any easier. I am sorry for your pain. But your dad has been truth and faithful. He’s questioned, and searched for truth…which have long been the founding principles the church. He has helped so many in their own personal journey’s of truth. This decision to discipline is felt keenly by thousands. It is a personal hurt for so many. I hope as the hurt simmers you are at least able to cling close as a family and see the goodness in your dad. From Joseph Smith himself:
Apr 8, 1843 – preaching concerning the Nauvoo high council trial of Pelatiah Brown, Sr.: “I do not like the old man being called up for erring in doctrine. It looks too much like the Methodist[s], and not like the Latter-day Saints. Methodists have creeds which a man must believe or be asked out of their church. I want the liberty of thinking and believing as I please. It feels so good not to be trammelled. It does not prove that a man is not a good man because he errs in doctrine.”
History of the Church 5:340
To the Dehlin family-
These are my favorite lyrics from Les Mis. They seemed very appropriate. Thank you for lending your Dad and Husband out so I could be a better person.
On this page
I write my last confession
Read it well when I, at last, am sleeping
It’s the story
Of one who turned from hating
A man who only learned to love
When you were in his keeping.
Take my hand
I’ll lead you to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spoken
To love another person
Is to see the face of God.
Sending light and love as you endure this trial. Keep standing up for what is right no matter what…your love for others is inspiring!
Dear Dehlin Family
To me ‘Big John’ is a hero, his work has directly influenced my attitude to the church, and enabled me to stay involved in a healthy way. Please know that the scarifies you have made in sharing John with the world, will have positive impacts for many generations to come, and the world is grateful.
All the best from accross the pond
I have grown in love and understanding from listening to these podcasts. When facing my faith crisis it was all I had and I stayed in the Church because of it!
I can’t believe this decision .
Please know how grateful I am for everything you do as a family to support people like me.
There are so many things I could say about John Dehlin, I wouldn’t know where to start. So I’ll stick to what has meant the most to me personally.
Learning the uncorrelated version of Mormon history is as equally fascinating and enriching as it is disturbing and gut-wrenching. Whether you stay or whether you leave the Church, once you know the history, you can never be the same. Too often, those of us who embark on this quest for truth have to do so alone. To make matters worse, many of us will have endure the most hurtful, hateful comments from those we love most. Some of us even lose those we love because of what we now know and believe — or don’t believe.
I’ve been on this journey for almost 10 years. It’s incredibly lonely, stressful and I don’t think it’s an overstatement to describe it as traumatic.
If John Dehlin is nothing else, he is a true friend — even to those whom he has only met in cyber space, a half a world away, like me. I don’t think it’s an understatement to say that knowing John Dehlin and being able to follow his parallel journey has helped me maintain my sanity and dignity while going through this incredibly difficult process.
Dehlin family,
I’m not sure whether to be sad or angry. I’m just crushed. I’m sure you can relate.
This is such disappointing news to me. Your dad is the reason I still go to church. In my moments of faith crisis, it has been comforting to know that someone else has been through it and came out a good man on the other side.
Your dad is the one who gives me hope that the Church is changing, albeit slowly. The podcasts have answered so many questions for me in a safe and thoughtful way. I feel like John and the work he has done has been an answer to my prayers and my family and I will be forever grateful for his and your sacrifice.
Aaron
Dehlin Family,
I don’t know you or John personally, as I’m sure is the case with most of the people who frequent this site. His voice has been a light in the darkness for me, helping me to navigate and understand difficult social, historical, and intellectual honesty issues with the church as I have struggled to remain a member for the last two years. I personally have known several people (including in my stake leadership) who have been helped by the open conversations had on this website. John’s voice has been one of immense courage, openness, and honesty. It pains me that church leadership sees him as a threat. My heart and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.
Much love,
Andrew
Just remember that down the road, you will be remembered as a light and island for many people. People will say (of the church leaders) “They were just men who make mistakes.”
Dear Dehlin Family:
It was eight years ago last week that I was excommunicated for apostasy by a rogue stake president, Steve Thompson, here in Florida, but that is not the story I want to share with you now. I need you to know what my wife and four children went through.
As John stated in this post, a church court proceeding is tougher on the spouse and children. For us, I wanted to fight back, and I did. Within 7 1/2 months I had won my appeal and the “brethren” vacated my excommunication, but what this stake president did to our church community was so much worse than anything I could have done to the church with my opinions on being born gay because, by his actions, he had poisoned the well. I have no idea why Mormon stake and general authorities are so slow to learn this, but here they are, doing to your family what they did to my family.
The consequences of church discipline in my family put my wife and my children in the untenable position of being under a microscope for one reason, and one reason alone; they supported me! When our little ward made it unbearable for my daughters and my wife to “endure the stares,” and the only comments made to them at church were awkward expressions of “pity” that their father and husband had “lost his way,” they stopped going to church. When this is what “church” feels like, it is hard to hold on to the idea that there is any genuine “love” left in what was, for our entire lives, pursued as a loving and caring faith. Our stake president had demonstrated that, at least in our stake, that love was all conditional.
I hope and pray that there is enough support now, even in your small city, that your experience is different. Please find yourself a small group of active-Mormon supporters who can create a buffer zone for what will, in the months to come, be a very difficult road.
And in closing, please know that what John is doing, and what you are all doing in supporting him, is making an enormous difference! When the largest group in the Salt Lake City gay pride is Mormons Building Bridges, you can take pride in the fact that John played a central role in building that narrative, which is probably why his head is on the chopping block. That story made national headlines, as did Kate Kelly’s work when Ordain Women made national headlines in April, and it is only a small cadre of men at church headquarters who have a serious problem with this. Mormonism, like the Tea Party politics, is taking a hard-right turn toward fundamentalism, but the membership cannot follow the leadership in making that turn.
As the youngest of six children, I am estranged from my five siblings precisely because of what the Mormon leaders did to me. They forced my siblings to pick a side. In appealing my excommunication I asked each of my siblings for a letter of support, and to a one, each declined. They did not decline because of a lack of love or an absence of support for me. They declined out of fear that their neck would be on the chopping block next to mine, and the threat is one of eternal condemnation, which, by extension, means a loss of an eternal family.
I have had 8 years to ponder that, and in my Facebook “family” of ex-Mormons it is a common thread that we all feel the same way: “How can the church that I was raised in, and six generations before me as well, have lost its way so badly that obedience has to be extorted by fear?” Why was it that my five siblings were AFRAID to write a letter of support for me, stating how badly they wanted me to have a way to stay in the faith? The answer to that question explains why what you must now go through is so important to thousands, if not tens-of-thousands, of people just like me.
Thank you for your sacrifice. We are all watching, and we are all your cheerleaders on the sidelines. You are not alone going through this.
Warmly,
Lester Leavitt
God love ya, Lester, and your family (and HE does!). Incredible that this is how Jesus’ so-called ‘one and only true church’ should operate. As Popeye would say, “It’s discustipatin’!”
I was excommunicated for teaching Apostasy a year ago. While it is hard for you to see, now, why this is going to serve you well, please be patient. It gets better. The first step to healing is feeling.
Dear John:
What a sad day for the Church to turn a blind eye to truth. I feel your pain as some of our family is going through the same kind of feelings. I believe that truth wins in the end.
Thank you for your efforts may they never stop.
CB.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I have read just a few of the comments from others, but I can only echo what I have read. John’s voice is a light in the wilderness. His interviews are also what keep me going to church even as it amazes my husband and he wonders why I want us to stay associated with the church.
But I don’t keep going for the “institution” but because of the fellowship with the people. If and when that changes, I will walk away without a backward glance.
It makes me sad that the church is not what it says it is. It makes me sad and angry that I have been lied to, and continue to be lied to.
As I read the New Testament, and see how far off the leaders are from Christ-like behavior, I see in them the same behavior of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and the other leaders. Too bad. It doesn’t need to be this way.
I grew up in the Morman faith in southern Utah. I moved away from Utah a year out of high school and never returned except to visit family.
It is not easy to be the odd one out in a small town. Even though our family followed the teaching of the church, I always thought I was the outsider.
As I learned after I left southern Utah, I really was the odd one out. Many of the poeple I went to church with were practicing poligamists. They hide it very well. They also make it ard for small businesses to make it as they tend to pay their tithes before they pay their bills.
The greatist problem I have with LDS church docorine is the encouragement given to declare the the Morman church is the only true church on earth today. Now, if you want to make enemies, just tell them you have something they don’t or that what they believe is false. There is a lot of hate created by those words.
Dehlin Family,
In the only honest & truthful way he can your Father/husband serves this church & gospel. He goes above & beyond to help secure his testimony & that of others. While wanting each person to live authentic lives, he also wants them to remain true to whatever part(s( of the gospel they can. I know personally, he has kept me from walking away more times than I can count . I know there must have been long nights and time away from his family but he was helping feed the thousands. That might not provide comfort because their are times you just want your Dad there, at the game, or concert, or family night or just plain there. I’m sorry if you ever felt cheated. Just know that many of us who felt cast aside truly felt he was doing the Lord’s work. I know I’m forever grateful.
My love and thoughts are with you and your family at this time. I so deeply appreciate the ground you have tried to forge in the LDS religion and the dialogue you have fostered. I know it has helped so many, including myself.
Dear John and family,
I am to be counted along with the many who depend on John’s voice to help me sort through my complicated feelings of faith. I would like to extend a big “thank you” for your part in this. I am certain that like him, each of you have felt the sacrifice, the doubt and perhaps anger. You are not alone! That is the gift John has given to me and obviously so many others.
Those of us who wonder and drink deeply from his podcasts. Thank you so much.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am shocked and saddened at this news. Your Dad is an amazing man. Several years ago I discovered Mormon Stories at a crucial time in my life. The information Mormon Stories provided changed my life so much for the better. It is because of people like John Dehlin that I felt I could return to activity in the Church and still maintain some of my authentic self. My first day back at Church was last Sunday, I was thrilled that I had finally found a way to reconcile and make peace with the Mormon Church. I feel like a new born calf, just getting its legs underneath itself. This news about Kate Kelly and your Dad knocks me down. It makes me feel like not going to Church ever again. I do not see one blasted thing that either of these individuals have done that warrants any such discipline. Fortunately, we live in a day and age where technology allows us to have a more public record of people and their actions. Anyone who will take 5 minutes to glance through your Fathers work and Kate Kelly’s work can easily see a record of their conduct, which by my standards,is unblemished. I feel that ex-communicating either of these individuals is cowardly. It is already making me question whether I want to participate in an Organization that behaves so punitively towards individuals that are working to save its life. Ladies, we are with you. You are not alone. This is not right.
Dear Dehlin Family,
All these years John has been an inspiring voice to all of us who don’t have a one, those of us who don’t dare to speak up for fear of the consequences, the very situation that John is now facing from the Church that we love.
I am an active member of the Church, but I admit that there are many things that bother me greatly about the Church in terms of doctrinal and historical contradictions, inconsistencies, and let’s say it, lies.
John, you have made substantial sacrifices and we thank you for all that you have done for us, to provide that voice and a friendly place to voice out our concerns.
I wish you and your family the very best,
Sara
Thank you. Thank you for forging a path of integrity and compassion. My utmost gratitude and admiration is yours for what you’ve created. This elegant space of nuance and grit in the Mormon world. I suffer with you today and into the future. There is at least that now thanks to you–we are not alone.
To the Dehlin Family,
Your Dad has helped me immensely in my spiritual journey. It was so turbulent to start with and there was hurt in my marriage because of it. His work built a bridge between me and my wife and helped us to take the journey together. Sending all our love to the Dehlin family.
Dehlin Family,
Spritual feelings and experiences are some of the most personal of emotions. As such, I have experienced incredible grief, guilt and confusion as I have tried to grapple with my crisis of faith over the past few years. This was especially difficult trying to manage alone. I knew the burden this would place on my wife and family if they knew of my doubts. It was truly a lonely experience until I stumbled across John’s podcasts and articles. John’s work has enabled me to find words for my feelings, an outlet to develop a deeper understanding of the issues I was facing, and to find common ground among friends. I love John for what he has done to help me. I am truly saddened by the events of this week but I am convinced that the good he has done will not be defined by this decision. I am grateful for him and his willingness to be an “ally” for those of us who struggle.
John, Margi, and family,
I don’t have anything to add to what has already been said. I just wanted to add my name to the number that is mourning for your family. I have been a quiet listener for a year or so. I greatly admire your work John, you have helped my husband and I so much. Margi, I often thought of you and the kids when John expressed his personal feelings about family. Being a mother myself I often yearned to get your perspective on all of this…but always always understood why you remained silent.
To John and his Family:
I’m very sorry to see you all put in this position. I have nothing but respect for what John has done. I have my doubts, but am currently very active in the church. That is thanks, in large part, to Mormon Stories and a blog article John was part of that gave reasons to stay LDS after going through a faith transition.
After my husband left the church it was John and Mormon stories that gave me hope that our marriage could still work. John helped both my husband and I feel validated that his wanting to leave the church and my wanting to stay were both valid paths.
The church may not see it right now, but John, you have been making a positive difference for families like mine.
John spearheaded an online survey for LDS gay/SSA members to share their experiences growing up in the Church. Hundreds of people from around the world participated. It was the first time I’d been asked in such detail what my life was like growing up with same-sex attraction in the Church. I responded with pages of writing. I didn’t realize how much I had needed to get off my chest and how much I wanted to make things better for the Church in dealing with this. I personally didn’t suggest or demand any doctrinal changes, I only was concerned that young people feel safer from now on in opening up to others in the Church when confronted with sexual orientation identity concerns, and this seemed like an opportunity to have some influence. The Church historically had been the last place I felt safe–when in fact it should be the safest.
This survey and study of an underrepresented demographic in the Church showed that someone in the Church cared deeply about my experience, and played part in helping me feel emotionally safe enough to return to church after more than a decade of estrangement.
John’s asking difficult questions led to my (gingerly) returning to Church, not leaving it.
Dear Dehlin Family:
Your father and mother’s work with Mormon Stories and the LGBT community has supported my own beliefs that we can all be welcomed in the Church umbrella. The support and stories John has worked tirelessly to publish and document have given me hope and reasons to stay in the Church beyond my own faith crisis. I know that you are hurting – but you have been prepared to support him in the times. In the end, you are his rock – he is very certain about that. Accept our love and support through this time as we continue to support Mormon Stories and all the work John does in bringing people together respectfully. Hugs to all. Paula
Dearest Dehlin Family,
My heart is heavy with the news from yesterday. I wanted you to know that the sacrifice that you have made in support of John and his activism has saved countless lives. I found myself in a psychiatric unit a year ago having failed at a suicide attempt. At the time I felt that the only escape from this life that I was told was so “contrary” to Heavenly Father’s teachings, was to leave the earth altogether. I had been told that MY “choices” were against Gods laws and I would be excommunicated and abandoned if I were to “come out” publicly. It was a TED talk of John’s that gave me hope that maybe, just maybe when I told the truth to my ward family, not everyone would shun me. He gave me the hope that not everyone I loved would turn away from me. Bottom line…he gave me hope at a time when I had none. I now, a year later am healthy and living happily with my wife and our five children. Living as normally as our neighbors, in a home full of laughter and love. Thank you! Thank you for supporting a man like John. A man who gives us hope in humanity and who exemplifies Heavenly Fathers teachings of Hope and Charity. I am forever grateful and I pray for all of you. Love, Jenny
Dear Dehlin Family,
Like many others here have indicated, I am so sorry for the pain you are having to go through right now. My heart goes out to you, and you are all in my prayers.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for John.
John and I have been Facebook friends for a number of years now, and I have also served on a couple of his Facebook group boards, helping out with some IT issues. Honestly, if it wasn’t for John, I would likely be inactive or would have resigned my membership by now. About 8 years ago, I was at a very tough crossroad in my LDS faith. John’s “middle way” PowerPoint presentation was literally an answer to a prayer for me. I realized that even though I had some concerns about several doctrinal issues and policies, I didn’t have to “throw the baby away with the bath water”. I found a lot of solace in exploring the “middle way” or “New Order Mormon” (NOM) approach to the Church.
Since then, I have also had quite a few of my doctrinal concerns answered. I am a member in good standing, have an active temple recommend, and currently teach Primary.
It saddens me to see someone who actually helped me find a way to be more active in the Church go through this type of pain, and for his family to suffer also.
The only solace I can suggest you take is that the Lord knows your hearts, and John is a good man.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Scott
Wow. Almost 700 responses so far. And more coming no doubt. Look at all the good your father has done. How many people he has helped, how many marriages saved, how many people who are still members of the Church, and how many who have come out of the shadows to live a life of integrity instead of pretending to be something they are not.
John is a modern day Galileo who was put on trial by his church for saying the the earth orbited the sun. He is only doing what the Church teaches us to do. Stand for Truth. He has been a beacon of light to those who were struggling. He is living a life of personal honesty and integrity even though it hurts. You have every reason to be proud of him. Don’t you think a loving Father in Heaven respects and rewards someone for living a life on integrity and honesty in the face of great opposition?
Your father was a great help to me. I am incredibly grateful for his courage and the work he has done. I am a lifelong LDS and my marriage was severely tested and eventually survived a crisis of faith. It is now better than ever. John’s efforts played a part in that healing even though I’ve never met him.
You may face some challenges, but know that there are thousands who support and love John and who are praying for all of you at this time. You are not alone.
I’m a mom. I know that the pain your family suffers affects you tenfold. I’m sorry that you as a family are going through this for simply standing up for your beliefs. Beliefs that I too agree with. I had a conversation with my 9 year old daughter the other night about just that. I had read a quote about speaking your mind even if your voice shakes. I had mentioned that on a post and another person commented and said..That she felt that when her voice shook..she knew she was saying something that needed to be said. Your father, husband has done just that. Not without repercussion. I am not Mormon. My life though has always been guided by my Faith. There are issues in my own Church that I too question, comment and speak on. I think it is necessary. I hope you find strength in one another, in the fact that you are saying what needs to be said..voice shaking and all. I believe faith and religion division do not go hand in hand.. I don’t think that was ever God’s intention.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston:
Thank you for sharing John with us these past nine years. Mormon Stores has been a refuge for those seeking answers to difficult questions and those wishing to maintain strong families–whether deciding to stay in or leave the church. And I find it extremely disheartening that the church has resorted to such measures. The church is a much better place with John as a member.
John has demonstrated sincerity, courage, and conviction. I have much respect for him as a fellow member of the church and human being. And my heart and prayers are with you during this time of suffering.
With love-
Dan
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston:
Thank you for sharing your father with us. You may not have had much of a choice in the matter, but I hope you understand that your father has a big heart. He didn’t sit idle when he saw people in pain. He has stood up for us. He has made life better for so many people. It is sad that he is so misunderstood by some. It is unfortunate that you have to deal with this, but I think he is also being the best father he knows how to be. He leads, he sets an example. As a father myself, I know I can’t do everything a father is expected to do, but what I do do, I hope to do as well as John Dehlin.
Much love to you all!
To the Dehlin Family,
Mormon Stories has had a tremendous positive impact on my life and I am so stunned by this news. I found Mormon Stories about 3-4 years ago while searching for resources for primary on iTunes. A seemingly coincidental finding was actually a God-send that felt like a very real answer to my prayers. Mormon Stories provided me with resources to help me process my husband leaving the faith and helped keep my marriage in tact. Without Mormon Stories, I do not believe we would have had the skills or understanding necessary to navigate that very difficult time. The community I have found has helped me stay connected to my mormon faith despite the questions that have naturally come up. No need to put anything on a shelf, I was able to face those head-on- thanks to Mormon Stories. The community I have found through Mormon Stories has been such a positive force in my life. It has allowed me to sit with hard truths and also find value and meaning in my faith.
This is a tremendous loss and I feel so much sadness and disappointment. I know these words won’t/can’t take away the pain and difficulty but I do want to add my support and very real appreciation for John and Mormon Stories.
Thank you so much for sharing your husband and father. When I felt scared, alone and ashamed mormon stories gave me hope and knowledge. The work that John has done has given me confidence to live as my authentic self. Words seem silly when trying to express the immense amount of gratitude that I feel.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Your Dad and Husband has made a difference in my life. He has helped me come to a better understanding of three of my adult children who have left the LDS church. I was once lost in grief and now am found in Christ and love abounds in our family once again. Thanks to all of you for the sacrifice.
Peace be Still…..May you all be filled with the Saviors love……..
I am confused as to why. I hope the spirit can guide all involved & comfort those in your family.
Only cowards and bullies would try to force your silence through excommunication. You sit in the heroic company of Helmuth Hubener, Abinadi, Joan of Arc, and scores of others who held to their beliefs rather than kneel before the pompous authority of self-proclaimed autocrats. God bless you and your family.
John’s podcasts & his personal thoughts about the LDS church has helped me through a difficult time in my life. My family was counseled by their bishops & stake presidents to not speak to me or my husband about the questions & issues we had about the church. After meeting with our bishop, & asking for his help with these questions, he was told by the stake president to take our temple recommends. My husband and I were both shocked by this & felt totally abandoned for trying to find the truth. Mormon stories helped me realize that my questions were valid and my issues were real. I found much peace from the podcasts & learned of others pain that was the same as mine. Thank you John for being somewhere to turn while learning things for the first time and helping me see a life without the LDS church.
Hello Dehlins,
John has sought for the truth within the Mormon community and given voice to so many different but valuable and needed perspectives. I felt he always gave the benefit of the doubt to the Church, which has not evidenced the same integrity John has demonstrated. I am politically and socially conservative in spite of being theologically liberal and so did not find myself in agreement with John on many political and social issues but what he has done with Mormon Stories is literally “historical” and will be the major signpost of a turning point in Mormon history. God is far bigger than the Church and I trust He will bless you will a deep knowledge of his love and presence in or out.
John Dehlin Family,
John, we have never met but it feels like you are one of my most trusted friends. Thank you for being there in my darkest hour when I was sincerely struggling to pick up all the pieces of a shattered faith. I am in a much healthier place now thanks to you (and I wouldn’t trade all those gut wrenching, questioning times for anything). To Johns family, thank you for sharing John with all of us who NEEDED him during our darkest hours!! Truth and goodness will prevail!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I used to live in Logan. I wish I still lived there to receive your family with open arms. I appreciate the manner in which your father has brought together a community of Mormons who perhaps don’t feel like they fit in or feel disenfranchised from the faith. I always felt like all topics were treated respectfully without malice or hate. I appreciate the discussions that have been had. Faith is a complicated journey and I extend a hand of love and friendship to your family as you go through this challenging time.
Sincerely,
Jacob
Dehlin Family,
I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I want you to know how much your husband/father helped me through my difficult time. I feel like he had a direct influence in bringing me back from the brink of despair. I feel like I owe your family so much! Thank you for all that you do to help make the podcasts and all that goes with it possible. My family is intact today and happy and so much of that is through listening to mormon stories and being able to process the hard stuff without feeling alone. I am forever indebted and grateful! I wish you nothing but the best and hope that you know how much your sacrifice is appreciated!! Lots of love!:)
I owe my marriage (which means, in fact, my two youngest children) to your influence more than seven years ago. You took time to email an upset stranger and let me know — and my wife know — that people who think like me didn’t have to leave the church.
Your family may not have signed up for this mess, but my family is sure glad that you did, John. Thank you.
Dear John, Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston,
“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any of the other virtues consistently.” – Maya Angelou
May you be found with courage as you move forward. Living authentically has been the greatest gift I could have ever given myself. Thanks John for helping me find my way through that pain into a world without bounds.
I’m very sorry for the hurt you all must be experiencing. Your father and husband has helped many hurt people feel a sense of belonging and satisfaction in our church. My family’s thoughts and prayers are with you.
Frankly, when i hear about what the mormon church does to keep people in line and how they punish people who speak out against the abuse of the church or wrong and damaging teachings, i have no regret that i did not stay long in that church and it is one more reason for me to never go back.
I do not think one has to compromise one’s integrity for the sake of remaining in a church that does so much damage.
If i were you, i would be just proud for your father who dared going against the tide and i would have no respect for a church which acts in such a facist way to suppress people’s freedom and free speech.
If i were you, the disciplinary action of the church would be one additional reason to leave this religion.
Sorry–My first response didn’t work (obviously!!!)
Dear Clara & Winston & Dehlin Family,
I just want to tell you how much I love you all! Clara & Winston, I LOVED having you in my music class. You both brought so much joy to music, and your happy and caring personalities always lit up the room! You were such a delight to teach.
I want you to know that I left the Mormon church for the second time two years ago and am now in a Christian church which I love. But it has been a very, very, difficult journey. People don’t realize how lonely and isolated you feel, especially in such a closed community like Cache Valley. I still have plenty of people who will not talk to me, look at me, and treat me like I am a freak. When those moments come, I reflect on how much the Savior was rejected and despised of men. Hold fast to Him as your anchor. Know that when others turn their backs on you, or say insensitive hurtful things, it is a reflection on them, NOT you!!! YOU are God’s most precious, beautiful child!!
John–I have never formally met you, but I know what kind of person you are based upon your outstanding children. More people like you are needed in the LDS faith. I so admire all you have done and the integrity of your actions, and having so much courage to bring issues to the forefront that others stick their heads in the sand about. My thoughts and prayers are with you all!!! Mrs. Kline
So happy you have found your way into the Christian faith, be encouraged during the hard or lonely times Jesus loves you and you are part of a bigger family that includes me.
John,
You don’t know me but I know you. Over the past few years I’ve listened to every one of your podcasts, many of them several times. I can say without a doubt that the messages expressed and the stories of the people you invited to your show, including your own story, have helped my own testimony during times of great strife. Your show showed me an LDS community that was diverse, thriving, and inclusive. I got to listen to the Mormon stories of wonderful individuals whom I would have never met otherwise. The news of your pending excommunication hurts me deeply, I’ve always thought the church was a haven where those with doubts could openly express those doubts. It seems I was wrong. I now feel like the comfort I had was false and that I am not entitled to openly question my own doubts about the church and it’s doctrine. I don’t know what the future will bring but my wife and I are hurt and angry over this news. You’re one of the good guys. We still hope something can be done, that you being forced out isn’t the end of this story. Having gone through my own faith crisis a few times, and later returning to the church, I have an idea of what it means to be an outcast. I understand. I believe in the gospel and I love the church, and I also know the difference between the two.
Thanks for all you do.
Clint Freeman
I’m so sorry, John. All the best to you and your family.
John and Family,
Thank you so much for being willing to put material out that creates a frame of reference for those of us with questions. I have drawn a great deal of comfort from your site and I am truly sorry that your views have drawn negative attention. I pray for your family.
Dehlin family
Mormon stories and the related series have increased my faith greatly. They have brought clarity and knowledge to me on hard issues. I know they have done the same for many of my friends. I pray that your community will show you that same love and support that I have felt in the community John created
John,
During my dark night of the soul, your podcast and honesty kept me sane. It helped me maintain family relationships and treat others with love, compassion, and empathy. Although we have never met, I consider you a friend. Thank you,
Steve
Dearest Dehlin family,
My sincere thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I understand the teensiest, tinesiest bit of what you are going through, although in not the huge public way that you are experiencing this. A while back, when my husband was disfellowshipped, I felt the pain and humiliation and confusion that I imagine you are feeling. I didn’t know anyone who had ever experienced that situation before and didn’t know where to turn for advice and comfort. God and the church had seemed to abandon me. That was when I found Mormon Stories and it gave me hope that there are many ways to believe. I believe John has done some important work in the world, documenting the stories of other kinds of Mormons who have been hidden; standing up for those who are oppressed; showing an example of Big Tent Mormonism. It is unfortunate that others are not as accepting as he is. John is an example of “standing for truth and righteousness” and “loving one another.” He is an example in a way that few of us are and for that you can be proud of him.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Your husband and father reached out to me on facebook after reading some of my comments on a blog. I think he knew that I was hurting and struggling to find a place for myself in the church. He friended me and told me I could talk to him if I ever needed someone who would listen without judging me for my doubts. I never felt that from another member of the church, not even in my own family at that point.
I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you all, and it may not be that much comfort to know how much John blessed the lives of others, when your own lives are made more difficult by it. I just hope that you know that John is the sort of person that is needed in the church. There are so many of us that feel disaffected and unwanted, and he made a place for us to feel like we could still belong. It breaks my heart that the church would choose to discipline him for showing love, compassion, and inclusion – for following the example of Christ. Please remember, if there are hard moments, that John isn’t the one that messed up here. The church leaders that fear doubt, that fear nonconformity, they are the ones that are making the mistake.
I know it’s not enough, but I’m grateful to all of you for sharing your dad and your husband with the rest of us that have been lifted and strengthened by his words and his work.
Kim
Fort Worth, TX
As a member of a bishopric, I find the disciplinary action being pursued by the Church as both unsupported by my reading of the guidelines of Handbook 1–I just reviewed them–and perhaps more importantly, a tactical error in the Church’s work to hasten the work of the kingdom.
Our church needs people like John Dehlin–whom I don’t know and whose podcasts I don’t listen to–because any complex task–such as building the kingdom of God on the earth requires a wide variety of views. I also don’t read the section on apostasy as supporting discipline.
Second, the strength of the variety of views that come from “Mormon Stories” is that we (1) are more likely to converge on optimal kingdom-building strategies–think about how poor the activity yield is for youth going into adulthood–we need more, even unorthodox, approaches to creating a higher percentage of devoted members and (2) we keep people working dedicatedly to building God’s kingdom because we rely on faith and not a catechism.
Alma’s experiment is real, it changed my life, not by clarifying the truth-values of factual statements, but by growing a faith that is “sweet above all that is sweet.”
Please, please, reconsider your current course of action.
Dear Delhin Family,
Writing from Korea to express my love and support during that difficult time. Like all the other here Johns work, Mormon Stories was an essential help during my times of trouble. That he thinks of his family first when he is attacked speaks for itself.
All the best
Ole
Lester, thank you for sharing your experiences. I am sure they will be helpful to many. I love reading all the responses.
I have a gay son and had a missionary companion who was bi-sexual. I am very involved in supporting the gay community. I first heard about John Dehlin when I had a huge crisis of faith 5 years ago. Someone directed me to a group he started called, “Staylds.com” which was a godsend at the time. I also viewed his utube video “Why people leave the church” and how lds leaders and members should treat them. It was so strengthening to me and I emailed the link to this video to several of my bishops,home teachers,friends and family, which only one responded. I do understand why people in the church cannot handle to have their black and white world of living by ‘rules’ blown up to what Christ taught are the greatest commandments (to live by principles of love rather than a thousand rules.) As you mature and grow up, you find the ‘rules’ don’t always fit and you have to ask yourself ‘what is the most loving thing to do in this situation.”
I remember reading about all John went through to get his PhD. I put my husband through Chiropractic college and medical school to get his PhD. It was a huge sacrifice and I wanted to be empathetic and supportive of John and his family because I know how difficult it is.
My husband had his crisis of faith first. I was in a Fast and Testimony meeting crying and begging God to tell me why my husband never got his witness of the BofM. I heard a voice in my head say 3 times, “Why don’t you go visit that 7th Day Adventist church around the corner.” We did for two years and gleamed alot from that pastor and church. Then God led us to a Nazerene church, and now the Church of Christ in Port Orange FLorida. I am thankful I did not lose my faith in Christ and God from leaving the church. Prayer still worked and God told me he works through all churches and all people who want Him. It was amazing to feel the spirit so strong in these churches and realize that the lds church does not have a monopoly on the Holy Ghost like they claim.
So often members in the church would say to us, “Well, the church is either all false or all true.” My husband would tell them, “No, it can be part true and part false.” Everything is a mixed bag, especially people. I will be praying for your family because I know how difficult it was for our family, especailly after we left the church. You will get through this and I believe you will be greatly blessed for your sacrifice and be happier than ever as our family is now.
I love your post and share your views of people and organisations are a mixed bags of many things both good and bad, and somewhere in between.
I do not want to be part of any organised religions but i love the christian messages of love and kindness and his commandments even if sometimes we fail to follow them as we should
I don’t normally post comments on the Internet, but I feel compelled to do so for you John. I can’t say I completely understand your thoughts and position on the church, but reading information that has originated in some way from you has really helped me in my journey regarding this religion. Like you, I am troubled by many historical aspects of the church and I personally, in general, no longer believe. Unlike you, I have become totally inactive. This position works the best for me and I’m very happy in my decision.
One thing I have discovered is that there is no single correct “now what” answer to accepting historical facts. Some folks say active, some do not. It’s all a matter of personal preference and need. I understand and respect everyone’s “free agency” to live the way that works for them. What breaks my heart is the church’s lack of tolerance and love towards someone like you John, who has a sincere and healthy desire for the truth. I don’t see that you desire to bring down the church, but rather to be a beacon for truth.
Anyway…thank you John for standing out and having the courage to provide people like myself an avenue to learn more about the church and it’s complete true history.
For your wife and kids… “Choosing the right” is not always easy. I can imagine the pain you’ve likely endured and will in the future. Know that your true friends and family will react towards you with love and acceptance, just a Christ would. The harsh reality is you just cant make everyone happy. Live for yourselves and be tolerant of the intolerant.
I wish you all the best in the future! Things always have a way of working out.
Dehlin Family,
I’m an active member who first started experiencing a faith crisis about one year ago. I’ve been too scared to talk in any real detail with my wife and kids about my doubts and journey. Where the typical apologist sources were unable to satisfy my strong desire to learn about the real challenging issues in faith, John’s podcast has been there for me as a lifeline to hold onto. I don’t know that I could have made it through probably one of the most difficult and trying times in my life without having this resource. It has truly been an answer to prayers for me. Thank you John Dehlin Family for supporting this man and his courage to talk about such difficult and important issues. You have helped me in immeasurable ways and I will be forever grateful.
Those doubts are real and the questions authentic… connect with me and I will prove it to you that your crisis of faith was not manufactured as they are real and you need to seek the truth further…
John and Family: Just wanted to voice my family’s support during this difficult time. Like many on this board, I’ve been inspired by John over the years. Coming from a devout Mormon family and community myself, I know a little of what you’re feeling, but I do understand the magnitude of your situation is greater. With that said, please know there are people out here (in UTAH!) that support you, and have no opinion or stake in you or your husband/dad’s church standing. It is not what makes you who you are, even if it feels like everything right now. It will get better, and you will know who your true friends are. Something to be grateful for. Big hugs and deep breaths. You’ll get through this. And we’ll all be on the sidelines cheering you on.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My thoughts are with you at this time. I went through a painful excommunication, and these podcasts helped me through one of the most difficult periods of my life. I know that as you stand together, you will grow closer and will (eventually) be better for it.
Dehlin family,
I am saddened and disturbed by this news. My heart goes out to you and your family! John, you have done a world of good and given voice to valid concerns and good people. The Mormon tent should be big enough for you!!!!
Rachel
Hey guys I don’t know you at all, but just know that there are people that don’t judge you at all and who love you. Sometimes we can cheapen phrases like that by saying it to people we don’t know, however sometimes it’s far more powerful. So, please know that we love you.
I am certain that the powers that be locally have not listened to your content. There is no other way I can explain this. We are long time active members with grown kids and love the Church also. Your podcasts have helped us TREMENDOUSLY in providing a place for us meet others with the same questions and how they dealt with those issues. You have been expert at assuring that this has been done thoughtfully and openly and with respect, exploring sincere and truth seeking questions. I sincerely hope that this action does not quash efforts to seek – where open discussion can be a valid appendage to the process we’ve known as “search, ponder and pray”. I wish the powers that be could know how helpful your on-line community has been in sustaining our efforts to remain “faithful” members of the Church.
Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry for the unkindness you are experiencing and may experience over the coming months. The judgements and changes in treatment are so painful. Utah must be an incredibly difficult place to take this journey. Please know that there are so many people that think the world of your family and greatly greatly appreciate your sacrifices! I hope you can feel the love and admiration that so many feel for your family.
To the Dehlin Family:
Please remember that the most important thing in your lives is not a church or a doctrinal belief system that you either were raised with or embraced later in life. The most important thing is your family. Stay together through this. John has only told the truth. I lost my family when the “church left me” because my wife at the time would not believe the truth. She would rather believe her childhood indoctrinations than listen and learn what was real.
My prayers are with all of you, and my heart and soul are with you, John. You’ve walked a fine line with more dignity and grace than I could ever imagine. The church will lose a great ally if they remove you from their records, and the clock of intelligence and progress will be turned back more than two decades. You will go on, and you will succeed. The church will be damaged more than you or your family.
Much love to you all.
Fully agree with this post. Keeping the family together and being wise otherwise is all that matters
John, I live in North Logan but I am not part of the LDS faith. I was born and raised in SLC and chose to be of another faith. However, I have studied the LDS religion for years, mostly out of curiosity, and some because I wanted to know. Trust me my friend, they are doing you a favor by excommunicating you. Why do you want to be part of an organization that tears families apart. There is no reason on earth you can’t live where you want and practice your faith and question the history of that faith. You are a good Christian man and the Lord will accept you by his grace.
Thank you for being patient with John through his journey. His faith journey saved me. I found him when I was at my breaking point and I thought my only choice was to leave the church. His interviews and essays kept me in the church. I am still active and happy thanks to him. I feel sad for your family that it has come to this. John has touched many lives and he could not have done so without family support. Best wishes to you.
Dehlin Family,
Please, please know that there are many–including me, my husband, and in-laws–who are deeply inspired and moved by the courage of John. His podcast has brought much insight and comfort to my husband and me during a time of deep questioning and transition. HIS VOICE IS NEEDED IN THIS WORLD. Our hearts and thoughts fly to you during this time.
Dear Dehlin kids,
You have an awesome Dad, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. He is a pioneer for equality in religious organizations. Perhaps you could suggest that similitude to early church pioneers.
Un fuerte abrazo from Guatemala,
Dehlin Family,
I’m surprised by the many postings here that have a tone of sorrow. While it is unfortunate that the Dehlin family is getting some negative feedback from the LDS community, why would any knowing person care if the lds church wants to excommunicate them. I never understood why John tried so long to stay a part of an organization that he has long known to be totally different than what it says it is. So I say CONGRATULATIONS! It’s all good news.
John, you’ve had a positive influence on thousands and thousands of people’s lives. I love that you have provided a forum to talk about the many issues and thoughts mormons have and in many cases provide answers. Your work through Mormon Stories and the other sites is just wonderful. Keep up the good work.
Dehlin Family:
Mormon Stories has meant so much to me as I navigated my faith crisis. John worked so hard to provide a place where individuals could have a voice, whether or not he agreed with what they were saying. I appreciate all the time and effort John has given to help so many in similar situations. I realize this is a huge sacrifice for you guys but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for such. Sorry about the ultimatum from the church.
Much Love from Pocatello Idaho.
Find a religion that puts people first!
https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Buddha-Empowering-Buddhist-Movement/dp/0977924564
If your religion does NOT put people first then why are you wasting your time with it?
Thank you to John for all of his patience, fortitude, and grace. You are in my thoughts at this time.
To the Dehlin Family,
Your sacrifices were for a very worthy cause. Ironically, your father and his work helped me through considerable social stigma that was a result of another’s actions. I am just one among so many. It is our turn now to offer our love and support for your entire family. I am grateful to all of you.
Sydney
Thank you John for Mormon Stories and sharing so much of yourself. It helped me keep my sanity during my Church History research.
Thank you also John for standing up for what you believe with regard to others rights. So many have gone before you who have done the same thing!!! Plus you didn’t have to enlist BYU students or funds from church members to accomplish your task!!!
I was all alone in my struggles with the history of the church for many years until I found mormon stories about four years ago. It has helped me feel like i’m not alone in my struggles and has helped me remain in the church and feel less bitter. Today I’m ashamed to be a member of a church that wants to kick out a man who has been helping all of those who feel alienated within the church. The church should reverse course on this and issue an apology to john and his family.
Thanks for all you have done for me and my wife!
To the Dehlin family
I am English and have only been to America on visits , my religion is similar , I only visit God on occasions , but my faith and your story moved me. when you feel so strongly that you are right in the face of God , you have no choice but to declare it and live by it.
If your church does not honour and love you for your commitment , then it is them who should be ready to answer for their faith .
be strong and love your family ,
Dissent and questioning is not apostasy. Ruling by fear is not Christ-like. Stay strong.
My life has been greatly blessed by John’s sincere efforts to discover truth wherever it may lie and to promote understanding and empathy toward those who, in their honest and best assessment of truth, are no longer able to sustain certain foundational claims by the LDS Church. For whatever pain or difficulty his efforts may have caused you, his family, I feel indebted and humbly grateful.
The pursuit of truth and reconciliation to which you have contributed is the very essence of atonement and Christhood. May you find peace in knowing that so many individuals have been profoundly blessed by your sacrifice.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston ~
When I think of the many sacrifices you have made to allow so many of us quality time with your husband and father, and all that he has given and sacrificed to help the larger Mormon community, I know that your gift is universal in scope, eternal in the sight of God, touching many thousands of lives and living on for decades to come.
When I think of the crucible you and he are now undergoing, I think of the knowledge found only in suffering, the exquisite wisdom known only by those who have been wronged.
John is a brave man. His video urging family members of an apostate like myself have helped me immensely, as I have shared it with many. His bold interviews and exposés have enlightened me. I thank him for this and hope the many words of praise and encouragement here help negate any pain the ridiculous over-reach by the organization of the “church” has caused you. Stand by him. He deserves it!
History is full of examples of courageous people taking on unpopular positions to help move society in a direction of growth. It takes time for their courage and leadership to be recognized. Strength, peace, and love to you during this difficult time.
Just wanted to add my two bits to the long list of support for all the work John has done, and is doing. A faith crisis is a very difficult thing to navigate, and was a dark time for me and my family. When I first discovered the different troubling issues with the church John’s wise council and direction, along with some loving family members, helped me to take my time to not make rash decisions and to figure things out. His work with Mormonstories, stayLDS, etc. has been invaluable as I navigate this faith crisis. Without them, I fear I would have taken things too quickly and ended up hurting those around me a lot more, possibly costing me my marriage. The communities that exist because of John and his efforts have helped thousands of people.
I hope that, regardless of how this all turns out, your love as a family will remain strong and that he will continue forward with his work. May you all find peace as you go through this, courage as you live true to what you believe, and know that your family is a blessing to countless people around the world.
John has shown more honesty and integrity over the last few years than the men who lead the LDS corporation. You should be proud to have a father and husband who is willing to ask the questions that others are afraid to ask. To talk to those who are shunned. To listen to those who have been silenced I applaud John and his work. He is an inspiration and comfort to many who have found no audience in the whitewashed and correlated meetinghouses of today.
When the open expression of one’s sincere quest for truth is punished by those who would rather avoid, deflect, defame and marginalize then it is a very sad day. To John, illegitimus non carborundum.
than the When open expression is punished.
When honesty and integrity are
To John and family,
I’m not as eloquent as many on here but wanted to add my thoughts. I have been a staunch church member my entire life but my world opened up when I happened upon “Mormon Enigma” and “Rough Stone Rolling.” Though unsettled at first I remained fairly comfortable in my membership and activity. Then came Prop 8 and I was horrified at the Church’s involvement in such a nasty campaign. I was not surprised that the Church came out in support of Prop 8, (and unsure of how I would vote, initially) I was shocked, in how the campaign unfolded. My discomfort in Church grew tremendously. It was sometime after Prop 8 I discovered John Dehlin. He has been a lifeline to me and my continuing involvement and membership in the Church. He has not advocated for people to leave the Church, he has provided a bigger place and space for those of us who have felt alone within this Church. Does the Church I love(d) have room for John Dehlin and me? Maybe not. Actually, Dehlin has been way more optimistic than I have that the Church could grow and envelope those of us with varying levels of knowledge, faith and inquiry.
Thanks John for your work! This is a very sad turn of events and another signal to me that the Church–Church leaders–are blind to the harm their own decisions have caused the Church and families. Information and discourse cannot be stopped. How govts. and churches respond to information and discourse will determine their ultimate destiny. Expelling someone like John Dehlin who has ties and sympathies still to the Church is foolishly short-sighted, ignorant, and unChrist-like.
I am an attending high priest, rm, etc. Mormon with little belief in the core doctrine of the church, but an appreciation of the social and opportunities to give within it’s structure. My wife is active and my 3 kids like the church. I have been carried along by John’s point of views and blog. Thank you for all you have done. I am strongly dismayed at the implications for this court. It tells me I am not welcome to discuss non-orthodox ideas at church. It is a bleak action when I thought the church was starting to become flexible. Again thank you John and your family for your actions and positions.
Dear Dehlins,
I am so sorry for the suffering you are going through. Though it may be a small consolation to you, I hope you understand that the work John has done has helped thousands like me to realize they are not solitary souls floundering in a sea of orthodoxy and dogma. There are other legitimate ways to be a Mormon! Its not all black and white. And for that I thank him and I thank you, his family, for your support of this important work, despite the costs.
I am truly grateful.
Dehlin Family –
It’s just another comment on a board that is expressing appreciation and support. My father was a sex therapist in the late 70s, early 80s. He worked for LDS social services and was fired because it was believed that his methods were not consistent with church doctrine. LDS social services now routinely utilizes the methods for which my father was fired. Experiences like this made me feel like an outsider in a church in which I wanted to feel at home. I don’t know if your experience is similar.
In the end, the church has it correct when it states that the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. No other relationship will matter more than the relationships in your own home.
There are folks that support you (clearly, by the flooding of comments on this board) and there are folks that glory in John’s demise, and there are folks that have no clue what you’re going through. Lean on the good relationships with each other and laugh at a crazy world together.
Much love and peace.
Ben,
When you say that “the most important thing a farther can do for his children is to love their mother (and i would add be faithful to her”, you make me want to jump with joy.
John, I appreciate your work on Mormon Stories. You interviewed my father-in-law, Edward Kimball, and I very much enjoyed the interview. I have also spoken to your father about your work, I had the opportunity to work for him as a locksmith.
You need to choose whether you are going to serve people with your work within the church or promote your own private views. You can’t do both. No organization is expected to retain members that oppose its teachings. Supporting LGBT people as fellow humans is fine, but God makes the rules. If God leads the Church, your issue is with Him, not Church leaders. If you don’t believe that God leads the Church, you shouldn’t be in it. I applaud your work in discussing LDS matters, but you shouldn’t be using your notoriety to advertise or promote views that I and many millions of members are adamantly against.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I say “Amen” to everything said about John that I have read in these comments (now 700+ in less than 24 hours!) Trust in your husband and father. He is not a prophet himself, he is not perfect, he has helped many, he is a good man.
To John and Family,
I hope you all feel peace at this time and remember that you have been doing good work, work worth while that has helped many Church members feel better about accepting themselves. No matter what happens, none of you should feel anything but proud of what you have accomplished. I hope you continue to support one another and continue your work, which truly shows a Christ-like love for all people.
John:
I want to take a moment to thank you for your work.
The LDS leadership has been showing their true colors over and over again in the last few years by branding good men as apostates.
I, myself, have grown so tired of the lies and deceptions that the top 15 have gone to great lengths to conceal, that I chose to walk away from the Church instead of letting them have the satisfaction of branding me as an apostate. I am one of the 15 million members that are on the rolls in name only.
I happily left the Mormon Church, and I took my family and my tithing dollars with me.
I now enjoy life as a non-denomination Christian, and I vocally express my disgust in the LDS Church to anyone I find investigating it.
More people need to be made aware of the deception the Leaders of the LDS Faith are participating in.
There is life after “Mormonism” and that life is much more fulfilling.
Warmest Regards,
Mark
Dear John and family,
there was a very painful time for me when I wondered if I could remain in the church with my doubts and concerns and disappointments. John really made it possible for me to not make any hasty, knee-jerk decisions; to consider what made sense for me and especially my family; to consider the wonderful experiences I’d had in the church and what walking away would mean for myself and everyone around me; and to consider what it was exactly about Mormonism that still spoke deeply to my heart.
John also connected me to a wonderful community of faithful members, who follow not out of blind obedience, but out of true faith. Thank you, John, for the sacrifices you have made for members like me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
There is so much sacrifice behind the scenes with those who love us most. There is little recognition from the outside world, of the price paid while we forge ahead. Making an impact on the world and others lives takes a toll on all we love. I want to honor and acknowledge this and pay tribute to Margi and all your beautiful children.
“There’s really no such thing as the voiceless , just the deliberately silenced or preferably unheard”. Arundahti Roy.
You are all apart of this important work. Much love and strength to all of you. I truly believe that it is God’s desire for all people to learn how to love inclusively and wholeheartedly. Not to focus on the differences that separate us.
Much love to all of you xoxo
John and family:
Forgive me if I am very blunt, but such is the nature of cold, hard reality. I purport that you should REJOICE to finally get out of the church.
No matter how much comfort, acceptance, purpose, and value one feels by being a participant in the one-and-only-true “in group,” the bottom line is… the Nephites never existed. Period. Gotta face the scientific facts and stop living in denial.
As Carl Sagan sagely observed, “Better by far to embrace the hard truth, than a reassuring fable.”
Believe me, I can attest that life not only “goes on” outside of Mormonism, but is infinitely MORE fulfilling, joyous, wondrous, honest… “better by far.”
To the Dehlin family.
Sometimes in life you have to stand up to the schoolyard bully even when that bully is the Church.
That requires exceptional courage and strength and integrity to stand up for your principles and beliefs.
Your family, because of your husbands taking a stand is going to be going through some serious emotional times and if there was ever a time he needed your support and love, it’s now.
He’s a good man and he’s provided a forum for people to get a clearer perspective on life. Notice all the people here now who are expressing their love for him. Family and marriage are much, much more important than any organization.
If anyone has been trying to live a life of compassion and Christ-like love, it’s John Dehlin.
Best wishes to your whole family.
Bob
Your husband and Dad is a good man.
Dear Dehlin Family;
I sure some of your days ahead will be filled with questions and sacrifices.I have only just heard of your husban/father and his battle to stay true to his beliefs. I commend him for standing up and staying strong. Our world needs more men like him. I don’t know every word in the bible or even all of what it has to teach us. I DO know and belive that no earthly man or woman has the right to judge another. There is only one true judge and he will definately let us know what he thinks when it is time. Please don’t let others hurt you with their words or judgements. In the end what they say or think will have no value. Only our heavenly father will matter. I pray things will work out for you all.
Thank you for speaking up and giving a voice to those who need it most. Your efforts helped me when I most needed it. We stand behind you.
Dehlin Family,
I cannot thank you enough for the sacrifices you have made during John’s time with Mormon Stories. John’s bravery in exploring these difficult topics helped me through my darkest time and has resulted in my renewed love for God and for the Mormon Church. I am a better person today because of John’s influence. May God bless your lives for the sacrifices you have made.
John,
Thank you.
Dear Dehlin family,
I have so much to say but i will narrow it down to this. Im a 53 year old mormon women, wife, mother of three adult children and grandma of six. I’ve live in utah valley all my life in “The bubble”, only i stood outside the bubble because my parents didnt conform. That bubble has held me back in ways I don’t even comprehend. Because of the time John has spent on the podcasts my eyes have been opened and I am a better person. Im more able to like myself and be happy. All those stories are my stories. His courage, your courage is inspiring. Hold your head high and put your arms around him daily.
Love Sharon
Sunday morning I stood in the sun with my husband, daughter and son in downtown SLC. I spotted a tall, happy man in a tan hat and nudged my husband. We positioned our family to quickly introduce ourselves and shake his hand. I’d hoped that through that handshake he would be able to sense the gratitude I had toward him for his work. That it would convey what a long journey we’d been through but that reading and listening to his interviews had given us hope along the way. Thanks in large part to Mormon Stories and John’s compassionate example, our lives are happy. Our marriage is united and strong. Our family is together. We are able to demonstrate integrity, courage and love to our small children. We have not felt alone during the past several years and I hope that your family will feel the same. Support and love and understanding and gratitude.
“Truth alone will endure, all the rest will be swept away before the tide of time. I must continue to bear testimony to truth even if I am forsaken by all. Mine may today be a voice in the wilderness, but it will be heard when all other voices are silenced, if it is the voice of Truth.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Thank you, John and family, for your leadership and sacrifice.
Dear John and family,
Thank you for your unknowing support of me. I am a gay women that came out at the age of 43 after 23 years of marriage and 5 children. I was so alone. I would listen to the pod casts and know that I had support. I am so grateful for your work. It is brave and honest and truthful.
I am sorry for this painful time period. But your courage continues to inspire those who desperately need help and love and compassion. Don’t give up. We are behind you like you have behind us. It will all be okay in the end.
Much love and solace. My heart is with you.
Thanks for being such an incredible example, John. You’ve shown the Church’s hand many times, but none more than now. Thanks for all you have done, and will do in the future.
We are so grateful for your work and sacrifice. You’re right John that you have in many ways just been the messenger – from the beginning you have been willing to put yourself at risk in order to be the spokesman. Thousands upon thousands of grateful people stand behind you and your family, inspired by your courage to take a stand that may have simply been before its time.
Our prayers are with you, and with your wife and children.
Dear Dehlin Family:
Several years ago my son came out to us as gay. We were encouraged to have him go to therapy. We were actually told by the therapist that there was an 80% chance of change. He could change from gay to straight IF he was righteous enough, read his scriptures, prayed and fasted. My husband and I were completely on board with this idea. We attended the temple weekly and fasted and prayed ourselves into spiritual insanity! It was so difficult for our entire family. I can’t even write this without tears flowing. My son left the Church. I cried and cried and cried and mourned and mourned and mourned thinking he had lost his eternal exaltation.
That was then. This is now. My son and I have the best relationship ever! He is one of my dearest friends. I’m ashamed that I supported the reparative therapy he had to endure. For years I dealt with an agonizing crises of faith because of my son’s sexual orientation. Now I am completely at peace — in part because of your husband and father, John Dehlin. He helped me realize I could have difficult struggles and questions about the Church yet still remain in the Church. Thank you for supporting your husband and father so that he could support people like me. I am so grateful for John Dehlin!
I love John Dehlin.
Margi and kids: John has given voice to the voiceless, courage to speak truth to power, and a gathering place for those of us who have never fit it.
I watched a NOVA special last night on PBS. There is more truth in that hour of TV than there is in the entire restored gospel. There is more integrity for truth, more integrity for searching for truth, and when we haven’t yet discovered the truth, we are courageous enough to admit it. All of this is counter to the contemporary church, who is about to expel one of the most Christ like men I know, for simply, and with integrity search for truth. Rejoice to be done with the church and run, run fast. Your community will feel your love and those who you would want to associate with in the first place will embrace you, those who don’t you wouldn’t want to call friends in the first place.
Good luck John. I say face boldly your accusers. Cowards.
I honestly do not know what more I could say than has already been said (so supportively) by SO many friends of your dad/husband. But no way could I NOT add my voice of support and love to you all. No one needs to remind you all how strong, wise, thoughtful, heroic, fair and loving John is, but it is wonderful to know that others see and KNOW this to be fact. Your dad/husband has given a voice to all of us struggling to make sense of life here and hereafter. John, thank you for giving us that voice. Thank you for asking those tough questions, and causing us to think, and think hard! You and your family are in my prayers. Know how much your are loved and supported!
Dear John and Family,
Your work has helped me stay active and faithful to the gospel and true to myself. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for your courage. My hear is broken and still I hope for better days. Know you are loved.
I don’t follow this website. I only heard of you yesterday in the news. When I woke this morning, my first thought was to see what your response to this action was. So I came to your website. Now I know why I thought of you this morning.
Dear Wife and Children,
My heart aches for you, as it does for you sweet husband/father. As he is navigating his feelings and doing his thing, you are facing some weird and crazy stuff as well. I am the wife of a disfellowshipped man who made his way back. I have friends who are married to excommunicated men. It’s hard. It’s weird. It’s not something anyone ever signed up for. I actually told Heavenly Father at one point that if I was going through the trial for me, to grow and to learn, I didn’t want it. I was done. But if He could, in His infinite wisdom, use it to help others, than I would continue to go through it. Because it’s lonely. I hated it. I’ve been able to help other women simply by offering my shoulder. And that is what I offer to you. My shoulder. You’re not my neighbor. But I wish you were. I’d bring you treats. I’d take you out for a tasty beverage. I’d listen and talk about nonsense. And go on double dates. While mine was and is different I learned some things that can apply here.
~No one knows exactly what you’re feeling, except the Savior. And He knows exactly how to help. Rely on Him. He suffered for you, for this pain. He loves you.
~Your husband/dad is still the head of your family. No matter what happens. He is still the patriarch. He is entitled to inspiration for the family. Nothing ever will change that. EVER. And he loves you. I know that by reading the above post. (I put that in not to create drama on this site, I add this because I have seen teens create drama over this after excommunication of fathers in the home.)
~You will be learning an incredible compassion that will serve you well later in life if you will allow it to. The temptation to become bitter will be strong. Please don’t allow this to eat you up inside. Whatever decisions lie before you, personally and as a family, please allow Heavenly Father to make of you what He needs you to be. It will be glorious. You will be angels for others after this journey if you can make it through.
My personal motto, throughout all the glorious crap I’ve gone through, is: Somehow, Someway, Someday, it will all be Okay.
My heart hurts for you. I wish I could just hug you. Good luck. My prayers and thoughts and love are with you. I pray God’s choicest blessings of peace and comfort will attend you at this time.
Dear Dehlin Family,
What you are going through right now brings up a lot of memories. I remember when my husband Peter told me that he might be excommunicated. I know the feelings of pain, rejection and fear that I felt. I can imagine that you have some of these same feelings. I want to express my admiration for all of you. You have lived under this threat for a long time. You have dealt with attacks from all sides. I think you have walked an incredibly difficult road. I want you to know that you are not alone. And, that it gets better. There is a big, bright world out there where your family is loved and respected.
To John and his family, I have never followed your website nor do I advocate the Ordain Women movement. However, I feel very badly about this situation for you and your family and I sympathize with your dilemma. Judging from the comments here it sounds like you have a strong following. Though I cannot judge your website, it sounds like your intentions were good and hopefully you can clarify them clearly to church authorities. Assuming that your efforts were to bring others unto Christ, what you do next will do the same … most importantly for your family. Those actions will no doubt be far-reaching. Think hard, pray deeply, stay humble and be sure that “coming unto Christ” (not bitterness or revenge) will be your byword. Blessings and prayers to you and yours in this difficult time.
To the Dehlin family
I would normally never write on something like this but I wanted you to know just what a great person your father and husband is. He saved me and my little family he made me not feel crazy because of my doubts. I’ve only met him once and that was enough he cares so deeply for the pain and hurt that church causes to so many individuals. My wife and I were at odds about the church for years. My opinions about what was happening in the organization didn’t matter to my wife the church was true and I was wrong and needed help. It wasn’t until Kailey my wife found john and mormon stories that she started to see what I have felt for years. That something was wrong and it wasn’t us. The courage that john shows every day with this fight for equality for all, and truth above faith promoting stories is to be commended. I can’t understand the pain that this may have caused your family but the joy he has brought mine can never be repaid. So I say thank you for your sacrifices. And I’m sorry that it came with a price of your pain. Thanks for everything you have saved me, my wife, my children and so many others from the heart ache of this orginization
Dear Dehlin Family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this hard time. Thank you for sharing your dad (and husband) with us so publicly . Your dad, and the many good people he has interviewed on Mormon Stories, have taught us how to forgive the church and its leaders for their mistakes, see good in the church, empathize with those who see things differently from us, and confront our fears and doubts authentically and with courage and honesty. We are better people because of your dad. And we have read the stories of many thousands of other people whom your dad has helped in similar ways. He has a lot of courage and is a tremendous force for good in the mormon community.
We have read the church’s explanation for its decision to punish your dad but we fail to understand its reasoning. It is one thing to punish someone who harms others. It is quite another to punish someone who is helping thousands of people. We stand with you and support you as you (and all of us) struggle to understand what is happening.
Regardless the outcome we firmly believe that everything will work out for the best for you and your dad. We have your backs. You’ll get through this. And your dad will continue to help people. That’s just who he is.
Hi John,
I don’t know you personally but I have listened to hours and hours of Mormon Story Podcasts. I’ve brought them with me on long drives and I’ve trained for two half marathons listening to them. There are some podcasts that have really sunk deep into my heart and made me who I am. Most specifically, the podcasts on women’s issues and women’s history in the church. Your podcasts brought me to a community of women that give me hope and make me feel safe in the church. Your podcasts have opened up deep conversations between me and my husband and my siblings. These things are so valuable to me. They have helped me understand myself and my relationship with God and my place in the church.
I’m feeling such grief that you are not welcome in our church anymore. I can’t help but feel I’m not welcome either.
Thanks for all your time and effort put into exploring all these issues that people have been too afraid to talk about. Thank you.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara an Winston,
I am so sorry to think of the pain you will have to experience. I once had a wonderful lady I visit taught, whose husband had been Bishop. She shared with me how peoples’ disagreements and complaints about her husband hurt her kids, when they had no control over what their father did, but people chose to say hurtful things about the man who wasn’t just a Bishop, but also their dad. Someone they loved.
I hope you will be spared somehow. I hope people will be kind, and not treat you differently. I hope you will find many true Christians crossing your path. But if not, please know that your dad tried to be true to himself. That takes a lot of courage, and it gave many other people courage to find their path, to deal with hard things they couldn’t make sense of, and for me personally, the hope that I can stay true to my faith.
I think you can be proud of your dad, even though he’s probably not perfect either, and even though this may come at a steep price for you guys. I’m grateful for the things he’s done. And so, I’m also grateful to you for the sacrifices you are now making, so many of us could benefit from what your Dad had to offer.
I will keep you guys in my thoughts for this month, and hope that things will turn out well.
Dear Dehlin family,
It has been my experience that there are two types of people, those who selfishly believe they are themselves brave but yet do nothing to help others, and those who are humble but yet selflessly display great bravery by standing up for others. There are very few people who fit the latter category, but you should be proud that your husband and father has membership here, as do you.
I can’t imagine what the heartache has been and is like – I’m so sorry this is happening. If it is any comfort to you, I know so many of the LGBTQ youth I work with have benefitted from John’s work challenging lds culture. They are beginning to gain some standing in Utah culture for the first time, and these important issues are coming to the forefront of religious discussion. I believe this is largely because of John’s work and your faith in him. It takes a truly brave family to change the conversation of a society, and I hope you can reflect on the joy and acceptance that Mormon Stories has given to those in need over the years. I can name countless LGBTQ youth and friends that have blossomed under the changing culture – hopefully this will bring you comfort in the time ahead.
I myself have greatly appreciated a sensible and sensitive voice discussing church issues – as a woman I’ve never felt I had any choice in the religion happening around me. It has been a relief that someone else thinks and feels as I do – thank you all for standing up for the truth.
Best,
Kim
Dear John, and Family,
A thousand thanks for your sacrifice of time and effort over the years. Your father is a great man who has been honest and fair. He will be a part of history as many of us stand by and watch.
I learned of these events by goggling LDS.org this morning, and there it was–a news story right below the church website. So I immediately switched to John’s website. John posted the news on June 11, and it is now the morning of June 12. When I came into Mormon Matters the postings were listed at 705. A few minutes later, it is up to 788. All that support generated in one day! That says something! That really says something!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I can’t tell you the amount of joy, hope, and transformation that John’s work has brought to my husband and thus to my family. The work that John does is a sacred work, for he is working in ways that define God’s love above and beyond the limited scope defined by others. All religions draw circles in the sand. The circle this church has drawn has fallen short; it is not as encompassing as God’s Love, Truth, and Wisdom. John’s work is an important piece of the larger picture. All of Earth is a schoolhouse, a divine place where all roads lead to a deeper sense of knowing of ourselves and our divine origins; the church has failed to remember this, and has unjustly threatened to cut out one of the most inspiring teachers we have today. But that’s the thing about Truth: it cannot be silenced. The short-sighted actions of a few cannot trump the power of God and the power of Truth. He (and your Heavenly Mother) are with you always. No piece of paper can ever negate that. Ever.
When “George” started taking his own journey off the beaten path, I was given some advice that has helped me through a lot: Some of us are rods, and some of us are liahonas. Sometimes the Spirit takes us places that we could never imagine. Both paths are equally called of God and both paths are sacred. Not all who wander are lost.
Please know that you are greatly loved, by those who know and many you don’t, and that you are not alone. There are those who have such love and faith in God that they are willing to follow Him beyond the circles in the sand.
And John, thank you personally for everything you have done for my husband. He adores you. There are few kindred spirits he has found in the world who understands this kind of work, and you are one of them. Your words have done amazing things for us and thousands of others. You bring us closer to the Truth; your courage to explore this complex world of ours has inspired many and has lit our souls on fire. We want to keep this fire alive within us, for it is brilliant, sacred, beautiful, and all-encompassing. It is a communion with God. Thank you for this incredible gift, for the challenges, the exploration, and the journey. Your work is the work of angels. (Remember that angels are not just fluffy cherubs; they are warriors, healers, and messengers of God!)
Thank you, Dehlin family, for all you have given to us, the community, and the world. Your contribution will echo through the ages, and bring light and hope to many. I know your sacrifices have been many, and the burden may be heavy, but please know they have not been in vain. Your lives have touched the hearts of many, and you are all a part of an incredibly important and sacred work in this world.
Much Love,
“Mrs. Miller”
“The Search for Truth”
Not for the faint of heart the search for Truth,
Not for the weak of will or dull intent;
Beset with troubles from the very start,
Pulled back by shackles, torn apart by doubts,
Until from perseverance, from the dark
A tiny ray of light shines down the Way,
To show a single step ahead – no more.
And if the eyes by then are not too blind,
By lengthy struggle with the written word;
And if the ears at last are not too deaf,
From listening to the sounds of argument;
And if the teeming brain is not too dulled
To grasp the Truth, so long and hardly sought;
Then all materialism falls in place,
A true perspective of the world is grasped,
Where earthly lusts and wants no longer count
For more than they are worth, in proper place;
All merged together in the true Desire
Which rises over all and with it brings
The sense of Happiness, because the feet
Are set upon the rightful Way to God,
To reach At-onement with the Trinity
Of Beauty, Truth and Love eternally.
~ Michael Dillon
To John and family,
I was unaware of this blog until a few minutes ago, linked by a story in the SL Tribune. With this in mind, I may be naive to everything that is happening here, and I hope my comments are received knowing this ahead of time.
I was raised LDS, but after a lifetime of trying to believe, ultimately decided there is no way the church can be true, and walked away.
I had an interesting experience when I was 19. My dad’s mission was the best time of his life. Subsequently, all of my young life I’d been taught to serve. But as I was getting closer to 19, a fear started to well up inside of me – I didn’t know if the church was true, and I didn’t want to spend two years knocking doors selling something I wasn’t sure of myself. Needless to say, I didn’t go.
In an attempt to inspire me, my dad took me to his mission field. It was an enjoyable experience, and some great father-son time. On the flight home, I sat on the same row as a Hasidic family. I watched as the flight attendant brought kosher meals, as the father kept the children’s attention away from the James Bond movie playing, and as the mother read Jewish children’s books to her anxious kids. I noticed the father’s clothing, and the subservient demeanor his wife held.
The context was different, but it was like I was watching my own mother read Mormon children’s books to me as my father did his best to protect me from the natural world. What I took away from this was that religious experience is universal, it’s just the specific religion that provides context.
When I saw the news article yesterday about the most recent rounds of excommunications, I cheered. It’s clear that you’ve done an emotional and psychological service to countless people, one that I understand very well myself, but now it’s time to move this service into a new era – post Mormonism.
You will struggle with relationships, you’ll battle yourself, and you’ll certainly, for the rest of your life, wonder if the church is true because Mormon processes are cut and pasted from Brainwashing 101; but deep down I’m confident you know there’s no way this church is true.
Next time you’re downtown, walk around Temple Square, and notice all the high end real estate, the banks, the law firm, the high end shopping, then ask yourself, where are the clinics, and hospitals, and missions? For a church that claims to model itself on Christ, it certainly surrounds itself with things that Christ had little interest in.
The longer I’m out of the religion, the more absurd it becomes. With everything you know about the church, and it’s history; if God irrevocably loves each and everyone one of us, how can His truth be so stained? Truth stands unwaveringly against scrutinization. It doesn’t require faith. It doesn’t require extreme action, or misery. If God has the power to move mountains, he certainly has the power to clarify nonsensical doctrine and correct cruel leadership.
I encourage you to embrace this next chapter of your life. Detail your experiences on your blog, the ups and the downs. While we may be ostracized by our fellow Mormons, one thing that is certain, every post Mormon that I meet is happier than they were when they were Mormon. It’s a bumpy road because important relationships suffer, but post Mormons are happier! They take that faith in a jealous, random God, and put that faith into themselves. Their self esteem improves, their ability to accomplish goals increases, and they are happier. Some find other faiths, others choose to abandon religion. But unequivocally, they are happier.
Document this, do what you’ve done for struggling Mormons by helping them get out of Plato’s cave and into the sunlight. It’s much warmer out here.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I messaged John, having never met him in person, but I welcome the opportunity to say to his beautiful family–you have a great man for a husband and father. I have felt of his spirit and goodness, and wish this wasn’t happening to him and to you. I am an active Latter-day Saint, I love this faith and Church, and John has touched my heart these past couple of years with his empathy and compassion for others, and his fair and insightful podcasts. I see him as a friend to the Church, a friend to those hurting within the Church, and loyal to his conscience while trying to be fair and respectful of others’ beliefs as well. What a dichotomy and a crucible to be in! He has set out with bravery, vulnerability, and compassion, and I am praying for good things for all of you. My hope and prayer is, his ecclesiastical leaders, being of good heart too, will feel what I have felt.
It is no small thing to be a single voice going against the grain. It is an especially big sacrifice, when the person behind the voice loves the voices he or she is going up against. I want the best for your whole family, and I know God does, too. So I am praying for the best here, and for peace for you all.
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston.
I can’t image how hard this must be for you. I just want to say that we are always here for you and will stand behind you.
Your in our thoughts and prayers.
To the Dehlin Family,
About two weeks ago, my 13 year old daughter said she wanted to share a song with me. The song was “Same Love” by Macklemore. You’re probably familiar with it. It’s about stereotypes, tolerance and love. She said she really liked the song. We talked about why she liked it. We talked about sexuality. We talked about how it is a deep part of who we are. We talked about loving and accepting people regardless of whether they are gay or straight. We talked about loving and celebrating the differences in people from all walks of life.
We talked about how the LDS church teaches and feels about our LGBT brothers and sisters. She was confused. She asked, “Why would the church teach that? Don’t they know we’re all the same?” I told her that if someone vocally opposed the church about this, they could get in trouble.
She looked at me and said, “Dad – would you stand up and say something, even if you got in trouble?” It was one of my prouder moments as a parent, for me to be able to look my daughter in the eye and tell her I already had spoken up. Nothing huge, nothing dramatic – I didn’t get in trouble, but I did speak up. I told her about two months ago in an Elders Quorum lesson about the Proclamation, the discussion had turned very anti-homosexual and how I spoke up and advocated for compassion instead of judgment. (I am the Elders Quorum President for now – not sure that matters)
I then told her about hero of mine, named John Dehlin, who helped me change my opinion of my LGBT brothers and sisters. I told her I had something I wanted to share with her. We watched John’s TED presentation together. It was an incredible moment between a father and his daughter trying to make sense of this world. I was in a position to have this conversation because of John. Just a little more compassion and understanding in the world because of his big heart and willingness to speak up.
I told her yesterday that the church was threatening to excommunicate him. Again, she asked, “Why would they do that?” She’s confused and saddened that the church she belongs to would do something like that. I am too.
But I am forever thankful to John for helping me to see the world more clearly through eyes of compassion and a quest for truth.
I don’t know you. I’ve never met you. But I love you. I love your family. I hope you can find peace.
Dear Dehlin family,
Even though I’ve never met you please know that I love and care for your family. There really isn’t words to express the sorrow I feel for what is happening to John and to you.
I feel that all I can do to support you at this time is tell you a little bit of my (Mormon) Story so that you may see how my life has been blessed because of your family.
My family joined the church when I was 13. As a 19 year old missionary I came accross questions I couldn’t find answers for but my testimony in the church was enough. At 22 I married in the temple: I have been married for 13 years and have three children.
A few years ago my brother-in-law left the church for Catholicism. I used to be Catholic and remembered how difficult it was to leave the “family religion” so I made sure he knew I supported his choice. This led to conversations that reminded me of the questions I had as a missionary which funny enough were some of the concerns my brother-in-law had.
I decided it was time to find answers. I was confident I could find answers or at least find peace. My research led me to Mormon Stories which taught me that things weren’t always black or white and they didn’t need to be.
I feel that I was on my way out of the church but Mormon Stories helped me see things differently by introducing me to Denver Snuffer, Jared Anderson, Dan Witherspoon, Rock Waterman, Terryll Givens, Adam Miller, Paul Toscano, Phil Barlow, Greg Kearney, Sandra Tanner, Brian C Hales, Grant Palmer, and many others that with there words have enriched my life by either expanding my mind or shaking my world.
To gain my faith I had to loose my tesminony and by tesminony I mean that pseudo knowdlege that gave me a temporal peace that would dissappear as soon as the Truth poked its face out. My faith in God is stronger than ever and the peace I am able to find now is lasting peace regardless of what Truth I come accross.
My faith journey is still in progress but thanks to the work done here I am able to magnify my calling as a sunday school teacher, I attend the Temple, and now I know how to prepare my children to make sure they grow up with the faith needed to accept truth and pure knowledge from wherever it comes and love all as Christ commanded.
I prayed last night for our leaders and the Dehlin family, and will continue to.
We’re constantly being told – more like scolded – to focus on the overarching good that comes from living the gospel as taught today in the LDS church. After years of questions and content-light, correlated lessons, I felt huge relief when I discovered Mormon Stories. John Dehlin isn’t perfect, and neither is Mormon Stories, but why can’t they look at the overarching good that MS stories has done? They see the people who have left the church because of MS; have they counted the ones who stayed?
I’m rare to ever leave a comment on anything. However, I received this news with such impact last night that I feel compelled to share my voice. I’m so grateful for John’s efforts towards open and honest communication. I long felt that truth has no need to hide from anything and is afraid of nothing. It’s the rock upon which everything else breaks. I love the church, but have grown weary watching the organizational dysfunction continue to be perpetuated.
Your father/husband gave me hope that there was a way to carve out a niche in the Mormon Church for builders of Zion who are authentic and candid about their beliefs. That hope lies in shattered pieces at my feet this morning.
The disciplinary action against John makes me wonder whether such a niche exists. Perhaps it was all just a fantasy world we lived in where all truth was welcome rather than only approved, correlated truths, and the brethren’s message has changed from “Stay a little longer” to “shut up or get out.”
Your family has my support, and John’s ministry my gratitude and respect.
God be with you.
My heart breaks for you
Dehlin Family,
Thanks for your bravery, and commitment to the truth. Thanks for helping me stay in the faith when I felt my life crumbling around me. If it weren’t for Mormon Stories and some of John’s other works I don’t think I would be in the church still. You offered a safe place to go and find comfort in my time of need. For that I thank you!!!
Dear Dehlin Family,
When I first heard John’s “Why I Stay” address, it literally changed my life. It was like someone had broken into my heart and mind and was able to understand and articulate everything I struggled with into a message of love and understanding. John’s words have comforted and helped me in ways I never thought possible, and helped me know that, no matter what, I will be okay.
Your husband and father is one of my true heroes. John has made enormous personal sacrifices to help comfort so many and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continuing support of that.
I was born and raised LDS and while serving my mission started struggling with doubts. These doubts eventually led me to conclude that many claims the church makes are not true. And it became difficult for me to maintain full activity.
People like you John give me hope that perhaps someday I can integrate back into the aspects of the church that I sorely miss. It also gives me hope that the church can evolve to support its members to face the real challenges we face today rather than fighting phantoms from the age gone by.
Good luck and I wish the best for your family! Kids are the future!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m sorry to hear about the pending “Church court.” That can’t be easy on your family.
I stumbled onto Mormon Stories about two years ago while searching for answers to the very questions John was asking in his podcasts. It was a wealth of knowlegde and perspective. John’s awareness and resourcefulness was a huge help to many of us trying to make sense of our LDS invested lives.
John seeks out the truth. His agenda is creating a platform for ideas while advocating for those marginalized by the institution. And I admire and thank him for it.
While the Church can try to marginalize or remove him, they can’t marginalize or remove the love your family has for each other. That is yours. A church can’t limit or impede the family bond. And it can’t define or dictate one’s relationship with God. Your husband/father seeks the truth in an open way. Punishing that is not the answer and is more telling of the Church’s lack of Christian values.
Time creates perspective so allow time to understand this chapter of your lives.
I wish the best for your family.
Beautiful Dehlin family, I am so saddened and mad regarding this week’s events. I don’t agree with the leadership’s decision, it seems to be made out of fear.
I’m so grateful for the podcasts and TED talks, they have helped me find answers to my own questions and doubts and they have strengthened my testimony of the Gospel. Thank you for your sacrifices and courage.
❤️
Dehlin Family,
Please don’t forget that God loves all of you personally, and that the imperfections of the human history will be surparssed by the eternal joy and happiness. God bless you all.
John Dehlin deserves nothing but admiration and respect for the work he has done. He has reached out to many who have felt lost, hopeless and without a home.
Dear kids,
Your faith journey will be individual and unique…even from your parents. Study, ponder and pray. For reasons of the Fall, faith and understanding is not won, lost or grappled with in the same manner, or with the same results, universally. Just know your Dad is doing the best he can and helping others who are doing the best they can. Do the best you can.
The restored Gospel is true. The ordinances are true and real. Leaders are falliable. Trust in the Grace of Jesus Christ. All will be okay…
Much respect to you all.
Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston: I grew up an active Mormon in Logan, with an excommunicated mom. I knew nothing but love and acceptance from people at church. I hope that your local saints treat you similarly. Always stand by your dad. My only regret is that I didn’t always stand by my mom.
Dear John and family. First off, THANK YOU. As a teenager, I was told that being gay was a choice and a sin, and was threatened with “church action” if my “desires” didn’t change. I didn’t even know anyone else that was gay at the time. I thought I was the only one in Utah…”one in a million…a freak of nature”. “Better off if I had never been born.” I did serve a mission (1974-76), where we were told we could not teach blacks…even if they wanted to be taught. After I came home from my mission, my bishop counseled me to marry the Mormon girl I was dating and not tell her I was gay. All of that “council” came from MY church, who’s leaders talk directly to God? THAT’s when I finally left the church. It was a struggle for many years, trying to reconcile that decision. The church wants you to believe that you or your loved ones are evil, worthless, unprotected, shamed, etc. if you or they leave the church or are excommunicated. “You can’t be together as a family in heaven”, they say. REALLY? The truth I found was that you are freed from the constraints of a rigid organization. When I came to the realization that I don’t believe in a God that is a bigot, a sexist, a bully, or a being that would rip families and loved ones apart…THAT’S when I found my peace. They CANNOT strip you of your family, your love, your blessings, or, in my opinion, your priesthood. Those are from God and cannot be taken away from you by a bishop, stake president, or church, even though they want you to believe they can. Don’t buy into the lies, arrogance, judgment, fear and threats. The Mormon church takes great pride in it’s pioneer heritage…YOU are a modern day pioneer! You and your family should hold your heads high! “For some must push, and some must pull, as we go marching up the hill!” Much love, support, and peace to you all!!! God bless you and thank you again!!!!!
Dear John Dehlin and family,
I don’t ever usually comment anywhere, but I did not want to silently sit by this time because I feel very strongly that I owe your family a great deal.
I want to let you know that both my husband and I have been profoundly impacted by John’s work, which we have found to be very honest and respectful and helpful and educational. It has impacted our lives dramatically and I am very grateful for his ability to gather, evaluate, critique, and share information.
Although there are many of us who question, he was the one with the courage to step up and articulate what some of us may have been too afraid to say, or too uninformed to postulate. He represents all of us who cannot believe blindly and who seek for truth and goodness, but mourn when both cannot be found in the LDS Church. John, I just wanted to say thank you.
To John’s wife and family, please feel confident in knowing that your husband/dad did what he thought was best and had the strength to stand up for what he felt to be right. It takes courage to stand apart from the crowd and confront the hard questions and issues most people shy away from. I firmly believe it is okay and even brave to honestly disagree with everyone else. He is a hero in my eyes… but I know that you will be persecuted because of his brave actions.
Please do not take personally anything people may say about him, or you, and do not care what they think, or that they are thinking about it at all. No matter what anyone does in life, there will always be some who love it and some who hate it and the vast majority in the world who just don’t care.
You are not defined by what other people think of your father, or your husband. You are defined by what YOU think, and by how YOU treat people, and how YOU react to difficult situations.
I used to live in Logan; I am familiar with the bubble of judgmental people and the black and white thinking you will likely face. The social snubs and the whispers as you walk by and possibly even the blunt, tactless remarks are not about YOU, but are a result of shallow thinking and a lack of understanding by people who may not yet be capable of the courage or wisdom needed to empathize.
I hope that you will not let it hurt you. I hope that you will be able to hold your head high and look people in the eye and let them know that you are proud of your husband/father for doing what he believes is right. I hope you can choose your battles wisely—I think some relationships are not worth the emotional investment; sometimes it is probably best to look them steadily in the eye, let them know you are not ashamed, and yet say nothing.
I’m sure there will be times when you will lose your cool and blow up on someone, or times when you cry alone in your room at the great injustice of life. Please know that you are not really alone. There are a great many of us who want the very best for you, and feel remorse that you will have to pay this price for the happiness that your husband’s work has brought to us and to our families and to many future generations.
I hope you have many enjoyable hobbies and personal pursuits that can distract you while the Mormon community processes information and forms individual opinions. I hope you can focus on the things that make you happy and spend as much time on them as possible. Even when life is hard, I think that the key to happiness is in your OWN pocket (but it sure is much easier to be happy when people aren’t such jerks).
I hope that as a family you will allow each other individual space as needed so you can process your own emotions, but also spend time discussing and validating each others’ honest emotional reactions. I have found these to be crucial in my own family. I hope that your family can come closer together as you unite against the intolerance of the uneducated masses. My heart hurts for you when I think about what you must be facing, and how long the road may be.
I hope that it does not take too long for people in Logan to realize that that not everyone fits the exact same Mormon mold; people are different, and they behave differently and think differently and believe differently, and that IT IS OKAY to be different, and to be openly honest about our differences.
I appreciate so much the sacrifices your family has made thus far and the future hardships you will continue to have to face. I hope that over time it will get better, and hopefully even end up being for the best. Please know that my family will be praying for yours.
Theresa
(Sorry for such a long letter.)
Until yesterday I didn’t really know who John Dehlin was, but then I googled and found this TEDx talk that you did and was so impressed by your words.
https://rgs.usu.edu/tedxusu/htm/tedx-usu-2013/john-dehlin/
Continue the good fight and know that there are many, including me, that are right behind you.
Margi,Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
God sent us to earth to learn by making our own decisions and learning through experience. Being free agents means we have the power to act on our decisions. The power to act brings consequences, but also wisdom.
This experience here on earth is worth it. As a spouse or a child, we can’t control actions or consequences. Even when things seem unfair, there can be plenty of love and peace.
Each of you has your own spiritual journey. It is ok that your loved one’s journey might be straighter or has more tangents than you own.
Keep looking toward God, and hope and pray that the love God has for your loved ones will help them through their own personal journeys.
Dehlin Family,
I hope you can feel abundantly the gratitude, love and respect so many of us have for all of you. I know your support has been vital to John’s work. I started my faith crises ten years ago and found solace in John’s resources then and continue to draw on his strength and commitment in always seeking truth and allowing everyone a safe place to have a voice and a free conscience. I know that you all will continue to live your lives according to my favorite scripture found in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Thank you for sharing your true light and love!
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston;
I understand what a difficult time this is for you and your whole family. I was serving as Relief Society president when I left the LDS Church. I had 10 children at the time (still do) and our family was very devout. As you can imagine, it was an extremely confusing and heartbreaking time for my kids, and rough on my husband who came from a strong Mormon heritage going back to the days of Joseph Smith. Even though he didn’t believe the Church was true, it was still hard on him when I resigned my membership. The Church wanted to excommunicate me ‘for apostasy,’ but I essentially told them they couldn’t ‘fire me after I already quit.’
What I want most to convey to you is that the love you have for one another will pull you through if you make the commitment to stick by each other. Your husband and father, John, is a good man. He has integrity. And it’s because of his integrity and values of compassion, outreach, desire to help and serve others, and living by principles of spiritual honesty that he is deserving of the love and respect of those most precious to him (his family). Relationships are more valuable and precious than theological or philosophical differences.
Tragically, in many families where someone leaves the Church while others remain loyal to Mormonism, religious differences damage or destroy relationships. We’ve been very blessed that this didn’t happen to us. We’ve all made an effort to listen to each other, and allow one another to express our dearly-held beliefs, even though they may differ from our own. We value each other, our relationships, and our family unity. I’m sure my LDS children are just as saddened over us who left the Church as we are that they didn’t. Our love for each other is stronger than our individual desires to prove one another wrong. We can address religious issues openly and freely because we’re secure in the knowledge that our differences have no bearing on the love we have for each other. By the grace of God we remain a close-knit family.
There are hundreds–maybe even thousands–of people who are supportive of your family. They all have a great deal of respect and admiration for your husband/dad for the help he has given others and for his integrity. I know it’s especially hard to go through this while living in a predominantly LDS community, but you’re also surrounded by many former and/or doubting Mormons who will gladly rally around you and help you through this.
One last thing: I have come to the conclusion for myself that God is real, and that Jesus is the way the truth and the life. If you get excommunicated, that doesn’t dissolve your relationship with the Almighty. Your relationship with Him cannot be destroyed by human hands–not by the LDS Church or its leaders.
May you find strength and peace in this situation. It can only make your family stronger and closer if you let it!
Tracy
Dear Dehlin Family,
I want you to know how much love I feel for your father and husband, John, and what he has done. Do you know he has helped save my life, literally and metaphorically? I was a gay, closeted man up until last year, and I was depressed and suicidal. Now I’m out, still married, loving life and my 5 children, in large part because John has tried, and succeeded, in asking hard questions, yet still loving. His interview with Josh and Lolly Weed gave hope for my wife and I. How can I thank John enough? Please, please, realize what a wonderful man John is, what wonderful people you are, that you are truly Christian for trying to love other people who appear to be “different” than we ourselves look. Thank you, Dehlin family, for your help in keeping me alive! Please know that you are loved by me and many others for what you have done, sacrifices you have made for John to be able to do his research and Mormon Stories. Much love and empathy from Washington State, Sincerely, Kevin K. Rex, a former member of the LDS Church.
Dear Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
Simply put: Your father saved my life.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Like so many others, I want to thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve borne as a result of your husband and father’s efforts. With Mormon Stories, John has been able to create some life-saving breathing room for many who, without this space, would emotionally suffocate in the pews, or even at the family dinner table, not able to speak their minds or know that there are others with similar questions or navigating similar crises. The unique brand of openness, acceptance, candor, and sincerity John has helped facilitate continues to help so many, whether they decide to stay in the church or not. My very sincere thanks to him and to each of you. I feel like his efforts have helped strengthen the church not weaken it, which makes this move toward disciplinary action so mystifying. Thank you again and much love to all of you.
Dear John (and Dehlin Family),
I would like to express my deepest appreciation for providing me with the resources to manage my faith crisis. These websites have helped me coexist, in harmony, the hard facts of Mormonism with my faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. John, thank you for addressing the tough issues of Mormonism through these open and honest dialogues. The conversations on this website have helped me find answers and face the facts of Mormonism, confidently remain LDS, and be true to the message of charity that Christ has taught. You are only helping people. This is unfortunate news for many people. My prayers and heart go out to you and your family.
Chris
I can only tell you that I spent many hours devouring the content created by Mormon Stories. It was integral to my journey, and I’ll be grateful the rest of my life for the efforts and explorations of this podcast. I understand all to well the pain of being at odds with the church, and the podcasts were a great balm during that difficult time. Thank you for everything, and I’m thinking of you during this stressful time.
Dear Delightful Dehlins,
Thanks for allowing John to produce the podcasts. They have impacted my life in such a positive way that I won’t ever forget his name or your sacrifices.
I wanted to express my love and support as you are hit with this very tough time. I am grateful to all of you for having the courage to stand up and help us all talk about difficult things. You have put yourselves out there, and in so doing, have been hit hard. Thank you for the loving way that you have allowed so many questioning believers heal and find answers to very difficult issues. The work that your husband and dad have done for so many wounded people is something that you can all feel very proud of. His respectful and honest discourse has helped me and my own family to understand one another better and has given us a safe place to talk about troubling topics that burden our souls. I so appreciate each of you for helping me and my own family survive when the church pieces have started to fall apart.
I am an atheist. I believe in no god and no religion. I don’t care at all about Mormonism. By that I mean that it doesn’t matter to me what you believe. I offer this to you as solace. There is a large and varied world out there – something your father understands. You will grow and your beliefs will change and fluctuate, as it should be in life. The only thing that really matters is our personal integrity and respect for others. Your father is a strong example of this. What a gift he is giving us all.
In summary: Your dad’s cool, and you’ve got this.
John and family,
My soul has been touched and my life improved because of your endeavors to reach out. Thank you for being a light when all I see sometimes is darkness.
John,
I just want your wife and children to know what an inspiration you have been to me and countless others. Going through a faith crisis or faith transition is never an easy thing. But what makes it the hardest is when you think you are alone. Your wife on Mormon Stories has helped me and many other sort through the issues, but also feel the support and love of others who have gone through similar issues. You have brought peace and comfort to me, and I know you have done that for thousands of others. Not only have you brought peace and comfort to those struggling with faith, but you have opened a lot of eyes about our LGBT brothers and sisters. There has been a lot of hurt and pain caused to our LGBT brothers and sisters by misinformation and misunderstanding. You have helped to dispel a lot of myths and have helped us all treat each other with a little more kindness and a little more love. You have lived Christ’s teachings, much more than those who seek to punish you for it. Your wife and children should be very proud. You are not an apostate. You are not damaged or broken. You are helping people feel the love of Christ in their lives. For that I am eternally grateful Thank you for all of your sacrifices, and thank you to your family for supporting you in this. You and your family are loved by many.
I am sure others have said this in words that are much more eloquent, but I will try to share my feelings as best I can. When you are a member of the LSD church you can feel a wonderful sense of community, but at the same time so alone. There is no room for real doubt, and no room for those with socially liberal views of the world. These things are apart if who I am, so I often felt left out of my church. But my husband and I got invited to a Mormon stories get together, and my feelings changed. I was able to meet Joanna brooks and John dehlin. It changed my life. There was an acceptance there, that I sometimes couldn’t find at my church building. I found love and likemindedness. The Mormon stories community has become a much needed supplement to my regular church services. It has given me the strength to stay and maybe change the church from within. I love Mormonism for many reasons. The community, it is my culture and the home of my heart. But there were many reasons to turn away. You, john dehlin have given me a few more to stay. Thank you. I really do appreciate all you do. I know I wouldn’t have the courage or intelligence to do what you do for our community. I am and will be eternally grateful.
Be proud of your husband and father. Hug him a little tighter today.
His path is the very lonely one that few courageous souls dare tread.
Unkind men will try to break his spirit. They are convinced that a loving Heavenly Father requires it.
But we know better.
Dearest Dehlin Family,
I am saddened beyond belief that the LDS Church has chosen this course of action. I feel deep in my heart that it is completely unchristlike. Jesus Christ accepted everyone, loved everyone, and would never kick someone out of his church for choosing to be authentic, express their true feelings, and live an honest life.
With that being said, I just want to say how very grateful I am for John’s work. I am so grateful he has shared his doubts, and helped others share theirs as well. I am grateful that he has been willing to talk about those things that others flat out ignore. I ended up leaving the church last summer, because I really felt like I couldn’t be myself in the church. I left because of history, culture, and doctrinal issues. But the podcasts helped me to transition out of the church smoothly. They helped me feel like I wasn’t the only one who had doubts. They helped me through my faith transition. And I really feel like they helped me to not be angry at the church. I have found a new Christian church that I LOVE! And I have never felt more happy in my spirituality. I know god loves each of us, and that happiness can be found outside the church, as well as in. Please don’t fear what comes next….God is always one step ahead of you, preparing the path. He loves each of you and wants the very best for you.
Love, Kaylie
I am so sorry for this struggle you must all face. Life is just so unfair. I appreciate the work your husband and father has done, and I have little doubt that he has inspired many to examine and stregthen their faith and activity in the LDS church. I know that as his family this is probably devastating to you. I wish I could help ease that pain for you, as my brothers and sisters. Perhaps you will find comfort, as I have, in these words from our hymnal:
“Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.”
My heart sunk when I heard the news. Regardless of the outcome of the trial, there is no question John has been an asset to so many people trying to make peace with the difficult aspects of the church, especially his research on behalf of the gay community. His podcasts have personally expanded me in the most positive way and broken me out of a spiritual plateau that his added so much depth and understanding I have been starving for. I wish the best to your family. Thank you!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m very broken hearted this morning.
Your father has been an essential, lifesaving influence in my life.
Yes, he literally saved my life! A few years ago upon returning from my second military tour in Iraq your father shepherded me from a point where I almost took my own life. I had struggled with a suffocating level of guilt and shame laid upon me by the LDS church for years. I tried … all my life I tried to live the standards of the LDS church … to be the honorable man … the “worthy” priesthood holder that the church wanted me to be. I always failed (of course I always failed). But, I had been taught all my life by my church leaders that because of my failures I was unworthy of any love and belonging.
To see my wife and children and then to think that they would be better off without me … because I was so unworthy of them … a failure … diseased … a curse to them …
I hated myself. I yearned for death … for nonexistence.
I felt alone and isolated. I went to my bishop and was only callously pushed aside and ignored. I don’t know how he couldn’t sense the torment and despair that I was expressing on my face and in my words. He never followed up with me, not even to ask me how I was. I live in a culture where everyone wears masks … where there is never an honest conversation about doubts, concerns and questions.
Then I discovered Mormon Stories and my life changed. I discovered I wasn’t alone in my feelings, doubts and concerns. That was such a relief … finally I could breathe.
Your father’s honesty and openness was exactly what I needed. I learned that I wasn’t broken. I learned that I was worhtly to be loved.
Then the miracle happened! Once I realized that I wasn’t broken or alone … the suffocating depression left. All thoughts of suicide left and they have never returned. Mormon Stories gave me this most precious gift. As a result I have only grown closer to God and my family. I discovered Jesus and his precious, eternal, unconditional love and grace!
Thank God for your father. Please don’t undervalue my words when I say your father saved my life!
I pray that our church will mirror the mercy, love and acceptance of your father. To have a community where everyone who desires to be a member of our church family will belong … without fear … and only experience the warm embrace of Christ like love.
With love and prayers,
Donald
Dehlin Family,
I’m so sorry for the hurt you are experiencing. I want you to know that I’ve been comforted by things John has said and done. I appreciate the light that he’s shown on some of the questions I’ve had and continue to have. I send my thanks and love your way.
Margi and kids: My name is Cami. I’m from Mormon pioneer stock on both sides of my family. I am 44 years old and have been a super-duper active mormon all of my life. When I discovered the truths that the church had covered and lied about all my life last year, I literally cried myself to sleep every night for 14 nights. The 15th night I slept without crying. Then the 16th, something happened and I began crying myself to sleep again.
I called my brother and he told me that there was this “guy” who did podcasts out of his home to help people. I found it on iTunes and listened to one. Then another. Then I downloaded everything – over 7 years worth of podcasts. I finally began going to sleep without crying knowing that I wasn’t alone, knowing that all the pain and anger at being deceived was o.k., knowing that it was MY journey and H.Father and Mother loved me as well as Jesus, my very best friend.
If your father had not done what he’d done, I don’t know how long I would have continued to cry myself to sleep. I was married 19 years and 3 months after my faith crisis, my husband left me for another woman. It was devastating but if I didn’t have this Mormon Stories community, I don’t know what I would have done. My ward members were really mean and talked about my divorce behind my back. Only 2 ward members actually called to see how I was. And only one came to see me. I wouldn’t have had my “Mormon Community” if I hadn’t had your dad’s help. He created a space for those hurt by the church to find fellowship. He helped me to find healing and lots of life-time friends.
I now do my own podcasts on Feminist Mormon Housewives. I interview a lot of people and try to bring healing as I heal myself. I want you to know that the GREAT ONES are never appreciated in their own time: look at Joan of Arc, Ghandi, Jesus – they were not appreciated and even died because of what they stood for. Your father might be ex-communicated but not by the Savior. The Savior, in my opinion, has no place in ex-communicating His Sheep. One day, even though it’s not today, mark my words…the halls of history will ring your father’s name with honor.
Thank you for sharing your husband and father with the rest of the world. We needed him and we love you for sharing him. God Bless you. Love, Cami Ashby
I just wanted to echo this comment:
“My heart is broken for [Kate and John] and for those of us who found comfort in knowing we were not alone in our seeking.”
John’s words bring hope. Thank you Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston for your sacrifice.
I simply cannot believe this. I thought the church had gotten beyond this medieval practice. So we still have the Mormon Inquisition. Let this be a lesson to you Mormons who enjoy thinking for yourself.
Like any dictator at the head of a hierarchy, Joseph Smith started excommunicating people who disagreed with him to protect his self-proclaimed and self-defined prophet, seer, revelator, king status.
Did Jesus ever excommunicate anyone? Hell no.
If Mormons believe Jesus, love is the first commandment. Thus how can they justify doing such an unloving and stupid process. Mormons are loving people. How can they allow such methods and doctrine. So contradictory, tyrannical, hypocritical. Ex-communication does not belong in the Mormon church.
The church message is to seek the truth, but when someone honestly seeks the truth, they give them the shaft. This means there is the
truth and then there is the “truth.” And that if members seek the
truth, they should be sure to the right “truth” . . . “truth” made true by authoritarian edict, repetition, hypnotic suggestion and emotion rather than by evidence. Truth as practiced by the church, is like a totalitarian election. You are free to choose between “truth” and “truth,” but just make sure you choose the right “truth.”
Then this concept of the “testimony.” Jesus never said the first and most important commandment was a testimony, but rather it was
LOVE. Love God and love each other, and you love God by loving each other.
Thus,love being the first commandment, a testimony should not be what you believe and how strongly you believe it, but rather it should be “do you love” and how strongly you love.
The Mormon church MUST change, has changed and will continue to change, especially when social pressure is brought to bear on it.
People like John are the church’s best assets, and the best thing that could happen to the church. John is the kind of person the church should make every effort to keep within the church. He should be a consultant to the church hierarchy.
The church is spending untold millions on missionary work to bring people into the church, but at the same time they are making it impossible for an honest intellectual to join the church or to stay in the church.
In fact, the church itself, not intellectuals, is the church’s own worst enemy. How much better off the church would be if the people
on John’s pod-casts were participating members of the church.
How many people are lying on the litmus test questions so they can keep their families together. How many more will have the traumatic
experience of eventually realizing their predetermined personality does not fit what they have been taught as absolute truth by the church.
So many thoughts, so little space.
But anyway, John. This is simply the beginning for you. You are
a terrific leader. It is the church’s loss and your gain. You have a great life and career ahead of you. And indeed, your family will, in the end, be better off.
And yes, you get a lifetime ten percent raise and Sundays off.
With this advantage, think of how much more you can accomplish and how much better your life will be.
Love you, love your family, love you fellow commenters.
Hi Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, & Winston:
I too have four kids and a wife that I adore, and like John I thought I was going the extra mile to be a great member of the church that I love by reading all I could get my hands on from official church sources, like The Journal of Discourses and B.H. Roberts’ History of the Church. And like John, I struggled to understand what it all meant.
But I was the Bishop of our ward and felt I had no choice but to stay quiet about the questions I was having, so I sent my sons on missions and attended all my kid’s temple marriages without saying a word to anyone, knowing that if I did I’d face church discipline and would shock my children and the ward.
If I had it to do over again, I would follow John’s path and be open and honest, because as my faithful, active children began to discover issues on their own and asked me about them, they were very disappointed that I knew much more than I ever told them.
Some of them have stayed in the church and love it, some have left, but we are still a close family with mutual respect. And for that we largely credit John. He has done far more good for far more families than I ever did in all my church callings. And he did it by being open, honest, loving, sincere, and knowledgeable.
I am not a big reader on this site, but John’s work has indirectly affected me through friends who are more avid readers. With all of the positive words above, and the “second hand” help I indirectly got from John, think of the many lives he has touched and helped for the better!
There are then “third hand” effects to my family and “fourth hand” effects from them to others. I would not be surprised if millions have been helped in at least some small way by this blog/podcast site.
John, please keep posting. Don’t let them bring you and many others down.
When I first began to have troubling questions and doubts about the church, I had no where to go and no one to talk to. I was scared and confused. But then there was John Dehlin and Mormon Stories. It was a place I felt safe asking questions and exploring my doubt. Listening to the stories I learned that doubt was okay and that I wasn’t alone with my questions. Listening to the stories helped bring peace to my soul. Mormon Stories had been an invaluable resource to so many, including me. Thank you! Thank you!
Dehlin Family,
We have never met, I don’t know what kind of father and husband John is but you do, each of you knows his love for you, each one of you has a special memory, moment or feeling in your family, it might be that day he comforted you when sick, or a whiskery kiss when he forgot to shave, or that simple moment of just pure love you felt for him.
Those are your moments, nobody can take those away, they are yours and you own them. Cherish them through this difficult time, and lean on them no matter what happens.
What ever pain and or distress this “trial” causes in your life, does not change who the man that you know and love.
Here is what I do know for myself, your father and husband, has impacted my life tremendously, my special moment is hearing his distinct voice through my head phones, and the incredible strength that he has given me. My life is better because one day 3-4 years ago I stumbled across his podcast. I am a better person and father, his voice got me through the most difficult times in my life.
Through this process, you may hear hurtful and critical statements about “your” John/Dad, remember that they don’t know him either, He is “your” John/Dad and the man you know and love.
P.S. – To John, simply I say thank you, posting on a website seems so impersonal, I wish I was right there with you, at this moment, and could just give you a HUG and give you a bottom of my heart thank you.
Justin – Chicago, IL
A father/husband with integrity who stands up for what he believes and who reaches out to help others find peace in their lives is worth much more than an entry in the membership database of a religious organization.
John & family,
I can not tell you how deeply your work and words have affected my life. My heart goes out to you and I feel a great sadness that my church can not accommodate a diversity of thought and reason. My thoughts go back to the words of Pres. Hugh B. Brown speaking to BYU students years ago:
“One of the most important things in the world is freedom of the mind; from this all other freedoms spring. Such freedom is necessarily dangerous, for one cannot think right without
running the risk of thinking wrong, but generally more thinking is the antidote for the evils that spring from wrong thinking. More thinking is required.”
Thank you John for continuing to think, discuss and ponder the deep things of life.
John and his podcast has literally saved me thousands of dollars in time and money and got me back on to the path as a truth seeker which is not always comfortable but amazing at times!!! Thanks for you and your family for “going through hell” to continue the podcasts against the pro-mormon, anti-mormon, church, etc. pressure!!
It’s like the church’s local authorities all of a sudden decided to try John and the Ordain Woman leader (Kate Kelly) ——- right!!! This is really good news to show how corrupt current lds leadership is at the very highest level! Hopefully, more of the Mormon Stories and Ordain Women communities will get the message and LEAVE before being subject to abuse by a bunch of old, dieing men who show they have less intelligence than the rocks they try to live under! I would certainly not bother to waste any time with any church tribunal!
I stumbled across your website quite by accident after leaving the church. I was targeted by church leadership for asking deep doctrinal questions in Relief Society, and for confirming some hard truths to questioning members, like our active practice of polygamy in the temple. Your website made me think twice about leaving because you openly admitted issues and sought for answers with an inquiring mind. Sadly, it seems I was correct in leaving… The mormon faith has no real answers, if it did, it would not punish members for asking. Thank you for your hard work and sacrifice so that a few ex members out there had hope.
Seven years ago, my struggles with the LDS church nearly became too much for me to bear. I was not aware of Mormon Stories, or that there were others who shared my love of some experiences within the church peppered with the excruciating pain of other experiences. About a year ago, I discovered Mormon Stories. I have immersed myself into these podcasts and found a healing that I could not have imagined seven years ago at the beginning of my struggle. I have reconciled so many concerns because through these podcasts, I’ve heard others express what I was feeling, but lacked the words to say. I also gained some much needed perspective on opposing viewpoints as well. Thank you, John, for giving me hope and healing. Today, my hope for you, you and your wife, and children is that all of you can feel the love and gratitude of so many who needed the voice you have given us.
John,
Sorry you and your family are going through this. I will be forever grateful for what you and your podcast did to comfort and validate me feelings during some of my darkest hours.
My personal decision to take President Uchtdorf’s invitation to “stay a little longer” was greatly influenced by your opinions and observations of the situation. At that time, as far as I was concerned I was done. I truly see you as a peace-maker and a bridge builder. Your example of kindness shines above and beyond anything I am currently seeing from church leadership. Whatever the church decides to do with you OR if you decide to leave on your own I will always appreciate the love and understanding that you have shown to our church community. At this point the church’s opinion of your “worth” (being worthy) means nothing to me. You will still be respected no matter how this goes down.
A message to your loving family. First I am sorry that someone you love is being put through this. The thoughts of having family hurt or shunned by church members scares us all. I two have children, five of them and it breaks my heart when I consider that if I leave or get kicked out I may not be there for my own ordinances of my children. Marriages can be really tough and I hope and pray you can stick together through all this. Do what you can to show John your unconditional love and charity that we have all learned about. I believe the love of your family can and will be able to conquer all! Stick together! We’re pulling for you guys!
Nate
Utah County
I left the church 5 years ago in my late 20s. When I first left, I was hungry for connections with people who understood my loss, my crisis of faith and identity. An online friend of mine connected me with a support group that had been created by John. It was such a comfort to know that I was not alone.
Over the years, I have listened to several podcasts produced by John that have been a source of insight and edification. Some I have shared on my wall, and I know that several LDS friends/family have listened to them and learned from them without feeling their faith threatened. More recently, I learned that a dear [active] family member and her [also active] husband came across one of John’s podcasts about intimacy. It has transformed their relationship and led to much growth, improved communication and connection; they only wish this resource had been made available (or made known to them) sooner! As an outsider, I have appreciated that they have access to really needed, useful resources from a “safe” source (Mormon Stories). In fact I know of several active, believing LDS friends who appreciate the insights they gain from Mormon Stories.
I believe that this is a bridge-building work. The church needs more bridge builders like John. Those of us who have left but who still claim Mormonism in our hearts need more bridge builders like John. I hope your family can take comfort in knowing that John is helping thousands to embrace both faith AND doubt and to live their faith and doubt authentically.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you! Mormon Stories podcasts have meant so very much to me
and my family. John’s voice has been the “calm in the storm,” as my
view of the church came tumbling down around February of 2012.
Thank you John, and thank you Dehlin family for your support of your dad and husband.
Thank you John for providing this space for people to find their way through doubts and social issues in the Church, and for me, help me to see all the good in the Church and harmonize the hard facts with my faith. Thank you, to your family for supporting John in this service to people. My heart and prayers go out to you guys.
Chris
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m sure this must be a very difficult time for you. I do not know you or John, but I have deeply appreciated his voice of moderation in discussions of mormonism. What strikes me most about him is his deep charity. No matter who he is talking to or what the topic may be he tries to understand the person, their situation, their lived experience, and what their relationship to mormonism means to them. No matter where you are on the spectrum of belief, your experience matters. YOU matter. Your father reminds me of this lesson everytime I hear or read something he has been involved with. Be grateful you have someone as a husband and father who is principled, humane, and deeply charitable. The irony is not lost on many of us that all of these are characteristics that mormonism ostensibly aspires to. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My heart goes out to you at this time of dark news and sudden stress. Surely you deserve better. Surely a brighter day awaits. John has been an example to me of honest inquiry, honest doubt and arms open to everyone just as they are.
In President Uchtdorf’s recent address, ‘Wake Up to the Restoration’ he said, “When our time in mortality is complete, what experiences will we be able to share about our own contributions to … the furthering of the Lord’s work?” I immediately thought of John. Be well.
Thank you all. The world is a better place becouse of you.
John’s family: discovering John Dehlin gave me the courage to be honest and stand for what is right, and he showed me how I could do that while remaining true to the faith. It is a pity his leaders apparently haven’t seen the enormous good he has done. Thank you for standing by him.
To the Dehlin Family,
When I heard the news yesterday I was sick to my stomach. John has given such hope to so many both inside and outside of the church. No matter what decision the church should make in this regard, they cannot undo the good that John has done for so many. Thank you for your role in bring about so much hope to so many who were left marginalized.
Dear John and family,
You have sacrificed so much for this good work. Don’t let anyone make you believe what you have done and what you continue to do is not important, or significant. I want to thank you and your family for everything you have done. My husband started listening to Mormon Stories a few years back and I know that it was incredibly helpful to him. He has never been able to “fit in” and you gave him a space to be more authentic. I met you once and do not know you or your family on a personal level but I do truly know in my heart that you are good people. I’m so sorry for what you guys are going through. I will think of you and your family and keep you in our prayers. Remember that there are so many people that care for you and that is so incredible.
John,
Sad reflection on the LDS leadership and I hope you find the strength and fortitude to continue. I believe your vision is true and over time you will be seen as leader and visionary for your beliefs.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
-K
Dear Dehlin Family,
As the church loves to say…”Families are forever”. No group, society, government, and ESPECIALLY church has the God given power or right to threaten to tear a family apart. Those kind of fears and threats come from a darker side. Stay supportive of each other, true to yourselves, and trust in a LOVING God…something many religions have forgotten. “The glory of God is intelligence”…keep asking questions! Sending you much love and support!!!!!
John, thank you for your work. It has helped me through the most difficult period of my life thus far. Sending good vibes to you and your family from Europe. Hang in there.
Thanks John, for taking a stand in support of our LGBT neighbors, friends and family members. Your work will save lives and bring hope and joy to many who have been marginalized for far too long. I am sure your family will be blessed by your example, and I hope your children will feel pride in your willingness to stand up for the rights and dignity of others.
Your work has been truly inspiring. I have lost my testimony many times in my life after researching the history of the church. You have taught me that even though our leaders at times have given into temptations or have been led by their prejudices, that they are just men. The greatest men in the scriptures have fallen and through faith they are able to return to our heavenly father. I am grateful for that perspective. Thank you for sharing your research and knowledge with the world. We are praying for you and your family!
Like many who have posted here I have no personal relationship with John, but I do feel I have a spiritual relationship. At the time I went through my largest crisis of faith the Mormon Stories podcast had a large part of steering me though it.
Like so many other I suffered for years from guilt and depression over the ideals I felt the Church forced on me. Impossible standards I had to live to up to be of any worth. Hearing the stories and perspectives on Mormon Stories changed me. It freed me from the bonds I felt trapped in from growing up in the Church. My words can never speak to the deep gratitude the work you father and husband has done.
It’s tragic there are some in the power structure of the Church who can’t see how Mormon Stories, and now John’s LGBT work, is saving lives, keeping people in the Church, and helping to foster healthy family relationships. I hope your family can find comfort in this time. Know that as least one person (and I suspect hundreds more) has such deep gratitude for the things John has done
Thank you for all the sacrifices you have made. They have not been in vain.
Colin
What John has done with Mormon Stories not only honors him, but you as a family. Thank God for people like John and his dedication in helping others through love, knowledge, and compassion.
so sad in so many ways.I hurt inside right now. I can’t even think what you, john, and your family are going through. Thanks for the help you have given me and as it shows from the comments today,the help you have given others. The Lord knows us all. His love is everlasting. May his loving arms be around you and your family.
Dear Dehlin Family: Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
I’m a BYU alumni and staunchly ex-mormon today after growing up in a faithful family, but when I heard your Dad’s position I felt more love and respect there than in any other vein of LDS leadership I’d ever experience. It takes courage to speak up for what is right … especially in an environment where it is actively discouraged and even punished. The church has been wrong / changed its mind before … try looking back at the history with blacks and the priesthood.
Your dad/husband is saving lives and the truth resonates with people inside and outside of your faith. Stay strong. Be proud of him. Standing up for the minorities of our society when they’re being mistreated is one of the hardest things we can do and your dad/husband is doing so from a place of love and kindness and facts. Believe in him and stick together.
Love,
Michelle
Dear Dehlin family,
I was deeply saddened to read the article this week and learn of the situation. My heart and prayers are with you at this challenging time.
John has performed an invaluable work and I hope the church leadership sees that someday. As I went through my face crisis last year, it was through the advice I received on Mormon stories and staylds the kept me grounded and helped me understand the importance of taking things slowly and not acting in frustration and haste. Thank heavens John had the tools in place to help me. It is so refreshing to come across people who love truth and have integrity.
Please know that thousands of us are pulling for you and that you have provided a great service .
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I don’t even know you, but I love you. These past couple years have been hard for me in the church. I love the gospel and every day I strive to strengthen my testimony. But still I struggle. Don’t we all? I pray for your family. I pray the Lord will be with you during this trial. I pray you have peace and comfort. I am so sorry. I pray those around you will love you and support you. You are in my thoughts.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Your dad is an inspiration to me. His work has helped me become a better and more loving person and has helped me remain an active member of the church.
This news truly breaks my heart. I am sorry for your pain. I hope the leadership will see how Christ-like your father is, and how helpful he has been to many (including myself).
Andres
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
All I have to say is this: be proud of your husband and daddy. I believe he is a great person, the type of person the church really needs. The only thing that really matters is what Heavenly Father thinks of him and I’m sure he loves anyone who is friendly, sincere and intelligent like John. I discovered mormonstories podcasts three weeks ago. The interviews are just excellent, not to mention absolutely respectful towards the church and its members and often faith promoting . It seems to me very unfair to put on trial someone as inspiring as John. Be strong and support your father. His work has blessed so many people.
I wish you all the best!!!
Your brazilian friend,
Danielle
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am saddened to hear the church is acting in this manner. I have found commfort in John’s podcasts. I am praying for you and your family not because of the church’s desission, but because those who do not understand, and will blindly accuse you with no knowledge of where you are coming from. I too identify as a reconstructed Mormon. Mostly because of John and Grant Palmer. I am and always will be a Christian. My Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ. The church I choose to affiliate with is the LDS church.
When I anounced to my wife I was having some doubts She thought it was because I was listening to Anti Mormon propoganda. I explained to her I was having issues with things I had found in Church sources. I came to my stake president with my issues. He has been sympathetic to my concerns and also recommended I read Rough Stone Rolling. He mentioned when he had been a bishop he had one of his counselors had the same concerns. This has lead me to were I am now. I’m not inactive but I am deffinately changed in how I view church history really is.
I really hop eyour Family can come thorugh this and feel the Lords hand in it. May he bless you and keep you.
Jim
Dear Dehlin Family, My prayers are with you as you go through this current trial. John, I’ve listened to your podcasts repeatedly. They have been a tremendous help to me as I go on my own faith journey. I admire your courage more than I can say. Family, this most be terribly hard for you, but your husband/father is a visionary. Just as the families of other visionaries (Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King, etc.) have had to share not only their loved one with the world but also share in the backlash of criticism, I pray you stand with him and stay strong. John Dehlin is on the side of truth and time and truth will fully vindicate him. Know that you are loved, respected and that your cause is just.
Sincerely,
Ruth
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I’m so sorry for the difficult times that face you. I have had a taste of what it’s like to be shunned by other church members that I love, and my heart goes out to all of you.
I can say this, though: it is through things like this, when there is someone who is different from the cultural norms of the church, that show us who is willing to follow what Christ truly said, and who is not.
Take this time to read more scripture than you ever have, to turn to Jesus Christ more than you ever have before. He will teach you, comfort you, and guide you to blessings greater than any of us could ever receive in our familiar and comfortable normality.
I heard something that made me chuckle the other day . . . a Christian pastor said, “It’s as if sometimes Jesus is so desperate for our attention, to spend some time with us, that He says, ‘I’m going to make it so nobody likes you for a while’.” :-) He also spoke about how, when we go through a wilderness, it’s *not* a punishment, but a time of communing with our Lord, and preparing to be brought, through grace, into a new stage of understanding and closeness to Him, just as Jesus was taken up into the wilderness to fast for 40 days before beginning His ministry. That wasn’t punishment, like Jesus being sent to His room. ;-) It was communion, it was blessing, it was filling.
The other thought-provoking thing that pastor said was “When the Holy Spirit descends on someone, the devil shows up to find out what’s going on.” The devil can’t stop God’s word, can’t stop Him sending His spirit . . . but that ol’ devil can entice us with our appetites, with making our cravings urgent, so that we give into them and reject what God has sent. But the only power he has over us is to entice us with those appetites, and try to control us with the fear that often accompanies them. Nothing more. God put lucifer beneath the cattle, after he temped Eve, beneath the feet of the creatures that Adam had dominion over, that Adam had named. he is beneath your feet, and you need not fear him in any way. Let the love of God fill the breaks and cracks and chasms that will open in your hearts. He does not give stones when we plead for bread.
Trust in God. He LOVES you. He LOVES John. And as you turn to Him, He will fill you with more than you could ever have imagined.
With much love in Christ,
Annalea
Thank you for creating this elegant place for all of us to feel free to discuss what is in our hearts. Hoping you feel comforted by all of us who are emotionally walking beside you. Much love, much gratitude. And a sliver of hope still…
Dehlin Family,
I picture Abinadi before King Noah. You know the picture? I’m inspired to say your Father is a modern-day Abinadi.
He’s modern-day prophet who seeks after truth. The true description of your father’s work is not apostatic…it’s apostolic. The church has been restored a few times…Why not again?
p.s. Keep up the good work John. No matter how comfortable, Membership doesn’t have the privilege of being right if it’s wrong.
Dearest Margi and your precious children, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
We have never met, but I love you all. Your father means so very much to me. His TED talks spoke volumes to my heart, and it gave me courage to stand and defend all those who suffer needlessly.
I hope to offer comfort in your hour of pain due to the judgments of men, or younger peers, and for unwelcome criticism of your kind and beloved husband and father. You know he loves God, his Savior, and this beautiful, sometimes harsh, intangible thing that has been misused and abused in our church, which is truth.
He gives voice to those of us who leave church each Sunday confused yet mute, trying to morph righteousness around some of our most questionable doctrines, practices, and behavior of our leading founders. We have times when we question our own closeness with the Spirit, our sanity, and/or our ability to reason. Then we connect with others who exercise their freedom of thought and expression, and we gain a peace. We see that others have found ways to move forward with truth, in uplifting and productive ways from the clarity they have gained.
When an institution prefers to persecute those who speak the truth over the truth, that institution should cease to exist. Until now, he believed he could still flourish spiritually here, but with a new mindset. In other words, he chose to focus on the good.
Yes, I have gained a calmness from your father. He speaks with such quiet love and genuine care for those of us who struggle to connect our core beliefs in God and what His holiness, goodness, and grace is– with strong and stronger contrary evidence that we represent Him. Your father’s interviews and open heart have helped me stay and even helped me appreciate that which IS good. This move by those in power that, in effect, says that he is any less than a disciple of Christ is reminiscent of the trials of Galileo. After all, Galileo had the audacity to publish what he learned was true. What a heretic! What an apostate! He embarrassed the church! He contradicted church doctrine!
So, sweet Dehlin family, take great comfort and strength in Christ’s love. Yes, He has infinite love for all of His children, but I just wonder if he also holds a special place in His heart for Galileo and your devoted husband and father, Mr. John Dehlin.
REASON has proven TRUTH AGAIN. John has been truthful, honest, and done everything with integrity! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE have love and compassion within you family. Above all please do not let this lead to a divorce or splitting up of the family. Your husband and father is in the right!!
My dad was excommunicated from the Church when I was 8. It was shortly after he baptized me and it left me feeling very confused. At the time, I didn’t know what he was excommunicated for, but the year was 1985. Back then, when someone was excommunicated, it was announced over the pulpit in sacrament meeting and everyone had to raise their hand to the square to agree to basically “shun” the person while at church. Everyone in the ward knew the reasons, however. All the adults, at least. My family was the subject of much gossip. My dad was in the bishopric, was a temple worker, etc. New callings had to be assigned, it was a big deal for our ward. But we still went to church as a family and we endured. Several years later–maybe 17? He was re-baptized and it was great. My point is, that this situation was very hard for us. But good things came of it. It really united us as a family. And it let us know who are “true” friends were, among other things. Our testimonies grew, we saw a humility in each other and especially in our parents that we never as kids saw before. That was big. It didn’t bring them down in our eyes, it just made them more…real. It made everyday things that happened to us more ok. And it gave us more perspective on the big things that happened to us. My brother and I have grown up and have our own families and we no longer live in the area where the excommunication happened, but we are all still in touch with a few true friends that we made while we lived in that area for such a long time. My family has never been happier than we are now. Truly. Those hard times helped us grow together. While I no longer go to church much, I have respect for my parents and brother’s beliefs and I’ve taken many with me.
I know your dad (and your husband) has helped SO MANY people. He and your family are an inspiration to many people. Please don’t lose hope and know you have each other and God to lean on. Be good to one another and know so many people that you don’t know and may never meet support you and love you.
“By their fruits ye shall know them.”
I’m 29 years old and Mormon through all the major life stages, but for a third of my life I have been navigating a “faith crisis.” Over these past 9 years, I have read many things that have been helpful to me as I try to live a more authentic life and reconcile the pain of my dissent from my faith tradition. No voice has been more helpful to me than John’s. Mormon Stories has helped not only foster inquiry but also to embrace beautiful contradictions. I’m happy and at peace with my journey so far.
You must remember that it may very well be healthier for you to part ways with people who demean and belittle things that are important to you. If other people are making you sad because of your self-expression or the self-expression of your family members, go in peace, wish them well, and live your life.
It’s always important to keep in mind that we have no idea what the future will bring. Think about the good things in your lives that you could never have predicted (there are so many things like this). There are always good things to come. I have to believe that there are silver linings all over the place.
I imagine that there will be all kinds of pressures for each Dehlin family member to think and behave in all sorts of ways, but the silver lining is that their individual decisions will have the possibility to be so thoughtful and consciously made. It is a powerful thing when you know somebody who is willing to risk so much to defend and give expression to people who are marginalized and ignored; people who have suffered so deeply. Don’t be afraid to mourn and don’t be afraid to feel whatever you need to feel as you go through this.
Experiences mark us, but my hope for each member of the Dehlin family (and for you John) is that you can look forward to a day when the pieces settle, and you can work and dream to build new narratives for yourselves. Make sure that this experience is only the beginning.
King regards,
Brock Brock
Brother John,
I am sending nothing but love & support for you and your family at this troubling time. I can only imagine how it must feel and what it will be like over the months and years… a long road for sure. While I have sometimes disagreed with some views or specific things you say, on the whole I admire & appreciate the courage and importance of the safe space you have created for dialogue, analysis, and advocacy within our membership and at the very least for those who struggle. Bless you for this and bless your family in the ups and downs of this roller-coaster. I have faith that faith, hope, and love will win out in the end along with truth, but that doesn’t always make it better. Take care & God bless!
Dear Dehlin Family,
“It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.” -Robert Kennedy
Courage, of course, sometimes comes at a dear cost. My thoughts and hopes are with you for the greatest fortitude you may have need to call upon. You are not alone and are vastly appreciated for your sacrifice and strength.
-John
John is a honest courageous man, that is trying to help people navigate through a mess that neither he nor they created.
This is cause for applause, not inquisition.
I don’t know how close you are to Pocatello, ID. If you are close-by or in the area and have an interest, I invite you and your family to Holy Spirit Catholic parish. The two priests and the deacon are busy men, but they will listen to your questions and give you a different perspective on the questions you have about God. They may not have a perfect answer for every question at the very moment you ask it, but the Catholic clergy will honestly wrestle with your questions with you. If Pocatello is too far away, any Catholic (or Eastern Orthodox) priest and deacon will listen to you.
As a German-American Byzantine-rite Catholic, who moved to eastern Idaho from Indiana, I have developed very complex views on the LDS Church. One the one hand, I appreciate greatly the friendliness and hospitality of the LDS population; politics is still something to laugh about (I now understand the close friendship that Orrin Hatch and Teddy Kennedy had, as I now have several close Mormon friends!). It is a pleasure to talk to the missionaries, and treat them to ice cream when I have some spare money; I like seeing that young people are willing to sacrifice two years of their lives for something bigger than themselves.
With this said, I do have issues with the LDS Church, and I think that most of everything bad about the LDS Church can be boiled down to one thing; suppression of Doubt. The way that the LDS Church treats Doubt is horrifying. Often times, Doubt is a way for Faith to grow; Faith and Doubt often co-exist. I realize that this might possibly sound harsh and judgmental against the LDS Church, but I do not intend it as such. I only offer food for thought.
Doubt is Reason purifying Faith of superstition and leading Faith to a purer and more reasonable form. It is Doubt that asks the questions that gives Faith food for thought so that Faith can incarnate itself in the real world, just as God was incarnate in human form in Lord Jesus, and it is through Doubt that Faith is able to eventually give answers to problems in the world. In fact, it would be impossible for Faith to ever articulate itself if it were not for Doubt. Faith may not have a tangible existence in the same way the computer I type on does, but Faith is far more than some Platonic ideal; Faith is capable of incarnating itself in this world and transforming it, but Faith does not do this in a vacuum. I don’t mean this as a criticism, but it seems to me that the LDS Church loses track of the fact that Faith is more than a Platonic form.
The LDS intolerance for doubt manifests itself in many forms, ranging from a discomfort in discussing at considerable depth the theology of why it does the things it does (such as a male-only priesthood or secrecy of its Temple rites) to its shameful treatment of the LGBT community to its unwillingness to address the questions that all teenagers invariably ask. Doubt is also a sign of aspiring spiritual maturity; teenage Doubts are how a child-like Faith seek metamorphoses into an adult Faith- how Faith becomes incarnate in that teenager. Somehow the LDS Church does not appreciate this. Yet, that Christ God did not put the Apostle St Thomas on trial for apostasy for doubting the Resurrection, bur rather met St Thomas where he was and wrestled with his doubt, this just somehow doesn’t register with LDS leadership.
(I say that LDS homophobia is a reflection of its general suppression of Doubt in the sense that a failure to live by the Law of Chasity to me seems to reflect a lack of Faith, a certain Doubt and a moral failure. In the Catholic Church, a non-celibate LGBT person is viewed as another sinner just as loved by God as every other heterosexual sinner.)
I have never found this to be the case in the Catholic Church or the Eastern Orthodox Church; I have found that Catholic and Orthodox clergy are always very happy to honestly wrestle with Doubt like Jacob wrestled with God (and got renamed Israel in the process), even if the Catholic or Orthodox priests don’t always have the answers right at that moment. Your specific questions are well beyond the scope of this lengthy post. Being a convert to the Catholic Church from Evangelical Lutheranism, the process of conversion was one of cognitive dissonance, frequently uncomfortable in reexamining my previously held assumptions and beliefs, but it was well worth the effort, because it was the Catholic Church that helped my Faith carry out its metamorphoses into its adult form.
Between both Catholic and Orthodox Churches, I have only ever heard of two cases of excommunication, both cases were in the Orthodox Church and both cases involved racism.
You can read further about the situation at: https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/church-to-orthodox-fascists-repent/
Dear John
Thanks sincerely for all your work. Our family here in Scotland are grateful for the insights we now have because of your search for truth. We are sorry that the church is causing you these problems. Seems crazy…..We wish you and your family well.
Dear John, I don’t understand what the heck is going on with the LDS church leadership lately. I just read in the news that you are going to get church discipline. Nowhere in the church statement, they mention an specific reason for you to face discipline. Is this because of this website? Because as far as I have read, there is nothing wrong with your website. People just share their stories. What would the LDS church get upset about people telling it like it is? Do they want everything to be kept in the dark? Is that the problem? If this is the reason the church disciplines people in these days, then we have a big problem, and the problem is not the members, is the church leadership that have lost all inspiration from God. Maybe the church leadership need to be the first ones to be disciplined.
Please know that the work John has done on Mormon Stories has saved my life! I thank him and his family for their sacrifice and work. Please do not stop your current efforts and plans even if there is an excommunication or resignation. There are many many of us in the closet who rely on your work and sacrifice. God bless in this hard time.
Dear Dehlin Family,
From the bottom of my heart, I want to express to you my deep gratitude for all of the sacrifices you have made and continue to make individually and as a family for your fellow brothers and sisters in (and out) of Mormonism. I don’t know you and have never met you but I feel as upset at the news that John is being put on trial for apostasy as I would if it was happening to a dear friend. Mormon Stories has been an anchor for me throughout my faith crisis. At times when I wondered if it was better to end my life rather than continue experiencing all of the anguish that comes with losing ones faith it was John and Mormon Stories that gave me hope that I could and would survive my “dark night of the soul” and be a stronger, more compassionate and understanding person because of it. All I can say is thank you, Dehlin family! You have my love and support!
Miranda
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Thank you. Thank you for being John’s family and loving him. The Mormon Stories podcast and community has been a lifesaver for me in my crisis of faith the past 9 months. At the risk of hyperbole, John is a modern Mormon Gandhi — a peace bringer and willing to sacrifice for the good of others. I am one of those others. Thanks, and if there’s anything you ever need, you have but to ask me. Love you guys!!!
Thank you for your courage and sacrifice. I needed to know that my experiences aren’t unique or even unusual, and John has provided that for me. Fear for myself and my family keeps me quiet. I’m sorry that you have to endure this pain and spotlight. God bless you!
Dehlin Family,
I was always proud to be a descendant of Mormon pioneers. When my faith waned and my life turned upside down it was people like your husband and father who were there in my time of crisis. He is a modern pioneer whose stories, experiences and choices have made a great impact on so many lives and now mean more to me than the pioneer stories I grew up with. Be proud that your father and husband had the strength to be this pioneer for all of us who needed one to follow. No matter what the official church leadership has to say, you have to have a deep belief to stay in the church while doubts and questions swirl. He had the guts to own that. And I have nothing but great hope for your family. Thank you for all that you have done.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara & Winston,
I have had the pleasure of knowing your dad for maybe 12 years or so, ever since we all lived in the Seattle area. He is such a kind and thoughtful person. I remember he once made one of the most insightful remarks I ever heard about people who feel like outsiders at church. More often than not, he said, “These people end up leaving, not because they don’t care about their faith, but because they care so much.”
Your husband and father cares so much that he has gone out of his way to seek to understand those who feel marginalized and disenfranchised. He has great compassion and empathy for others and tries his best to refrain from judgment. For all those reasons, I am proud to know him.
Dehlin Family,
Like many others have stated, I greatly appreciate the information that John has provided on MormonStories. I have been a faithful follower/listener since the beginning. While I am active in the LDS church, I am not a true believer. Sites/Podcasts such as those on Mormonstories help me maintain some semblance of sanity in my own mind. I don’t know what lies in story for John, but I am SO grateful for all you do and have done and hope things work out well in the long run for the Dehlin family.
John I just want to tell you how much I admire you, and your wonderful family for supporting you. I can’t stress enough how much good you have done with your Podcasts, and how I admire you for your search for truth. I have so much in common, with your sincere desire to grow, and to obtain answers to tough questions concerning our church. Just know how much we love and support you out here. God Bless!
I will forever be grateful to John Dehlin. It is because of his efforts to help others understand why people leave the church, that I was able to understand my daughter and myself. Instead of rejecting her, his work helped me see that I needed to love, accept, and embrace her in a Christ-like manner. Thank you John and I pray that your family will be blessed and hope that you will continue to help families like mine. God Bless.
I am so grateful for John and the brave work that he has done. He is a pioneer and has really put himself on the line to shine light in dark places and live a life of integrity. True discipleship to our Savior Jesus Christ requires actions such as his. Thank you John for your courage, and my prayers for peace go out to his family. I am a faithful, temple-attending member whose testimony of Christ has been strengthened by John’s work.
Dehlin Family,
I have gobbled up the Mormon Stories podcasts ever since I first learned about them earlier this year. I am truly shocked to hear this news. Don’t let this get you down. This podcast has helped many of us navigate the murky waters of truth, and I hope it continues regardless of the actions of the Church. Be strong and chins up!
Much love.
Dehlin family – I’ve only interacted with John a few times, but I’ve never felt anything but integrity, love, and faith from him. I hope that you will feel the gratitude that thousands of people have for the work he has done. Thank you for the sacrifice you make to share his time and energy with so many others. You’re in my prayers.
Dehlin Family,
I started listening to Mormonstories Podcast a couple of years ago and it has been such a blessing to me. It has helped me feel like I am not alone with questions and concerns. It has led me to more fully study the gospel and church doctrine. I often listen to the podcast while I am working in my yard. For a few hours each week I can hear John and his guests in my ear and it has made me feel connected to something larger than myself and beyond my ward. It has given me hope for something better. Thank you! I feel so heartbroken over this issue and for the stress and heartache your family has experienced.
Thank you so much for the Mormon Stories podcast and blog. It has helped me have a lot of helpful conversations with those I love. God bless your whole family.
When I had my own crisis of faith over 35 years ago, there was no John Dehlin. It was difficult and painful. I have been observing John for several years now and have grown to respect and admire him more than I can find words to express. One word describes him: LOVE.
I am so proud of your father/husband. This situation reminds me of the Albert Einstein quote that great spirits have always received violent opposition from mediocre minds. Stay strong and hold your heads high, it will all straighten out eventually.
To John Only Before I went into my inquisition I gorged myself on chili and stunk their room up lol
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston;
I understand what a difficult time this is for you and your whole family. I was serving as Relief Society president when I left the LDS Church. I had 10 children at the time (still do) and our family was very devout. As you can imagine, it was an extremely confusing and heartbreaking time for my kids, and rough on my husband who came from a strong Mormon heritage going back to the days of Joseph Smith. Even though he didn’t believe the Church was true, it was still hard on him when I resigned my membership. The Church wanted to excommunicate me ‘for apostasy,’ but I essentially told them they couldn’t ‘fire me after I already quit.’
What I want most to convey to you is that the love you have for one another will pull you through if you make the commitment to stick by each other. Your husband and father, John, is a good man. He has integrity. It’s because of his integrity and values of compassion, outreach, desire to help and serve others, and living by principles of spiritual honesty that he is deserving of the love and respect of those most precious to him (his family). Relationships are more valuable and precious than theological or philosophical differences.
Tragically, in many families where someone leaves the Church while others remain loyal to Mormonism, religious differences damage or destroy relationships. We’ve been very blessed that this didn’t happen to us. We’ve all made an effort to listen to each other, and allow one another to express our dearly-held beliefs, even though they may differ from our own. We value each other, our relationships, and our family unity. I’m sure my LDS children are just as saddened over us who left the Church as we are that they didn’t. Our love for each other is stronger than our individual desires to prove one another wrong. We can address religious issues openly and freely because we’re secure in the knowledge that our differences have no bearing on the love we have for each other. By the grace of God we remain a close-knit family.
There are hundreds–maybe even thousands–of people who are supportive of your family. They all have a great deal of respect and admiration for your husband/dad for the help he has given others and for his integrity. I know it’s especially hard to go through this while living in a predominantly LDS community, but you’re also surrounded by many former and/or doubting Mormons who will gladly rally around you and help you through this.
One last thing: I have come to the conclusion for myself that God is real, and that Jesus is the way the truth and the life. If you get excommunicated, that doesn’t dissolve your relationship with the Almighty. Your relationship with Him cannot be destroyed by human hands–not by the LDS Church or its leaders.
May you find strength and peace in this situation. It can only make your family stronger and closer if you let it!
Tracy Tennant
John and Family,
I wish the best for all of you during this challenging time. John has been a great help for me as I’ve struggled with doubts and have decided to stay in the church because of your approach. Thank you for all you’ve done for the lds community.
Hello Dehlin Family,
I am an inactive Mormon. I went to BYU, was married in the temple, then went through a long process of questioning my beliefs and rejecting the church. But I do have a lot of great memories and admiration for the church and hold no ill will. I recently have found out about your father/husband’s activism and I want you to know I personally am SO proud of him. You are SO lucky to have a man that stands up for LOVE and for his belief that God will be the judge of people’s actions, not man. I hope you will have the courage to stand with him. Nothing changes in our society without courage, as John has said in his amazing, hopeful TED talk. My friend, Dave Veloz posted the NYTimes article on FB, and I responded:
What a beautiful man. For those who believe in the religion, this seems like a classic Adam and Eve conundrum: Which commandment do I break – Thou shalt replenish the earth? or Thou shalt not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil? In this case: Do I love EVERYbody and treat them equally before God? Or do I shun sinners? Oh wait! That’s not a commandment! Christ forgave “sinners”. … I am not a believer anymore, and this is one of the reasons why – I couldn’t be apart of an organization that was so discriminatory and so concerned with hierarchy and power while preaching love and acceptance. Not that we all aren’t hypocrites in our own way, but the acceptance of LGBT people into the church fully, and ordaining women seems like an inevitable process the church will eventually accept – just like giving blacks the priesthood. There will one day be a “revelation” – the revelation will be the realization that bigotry should have no place in a religion that professes love. Let God do the judging. That’s his job, supposedly. We’ll see!
Anyway, please have heart and know that John has been called – by God or the Universe or whatever – to do this work. To teach love!
all the best. I vow to be a more vocal ally!
Dehlin Family
Sorry for what you are going through. I apologize for those that may treat you badly during this time of pain. Know the world is a big place filled with all sorts of wonderful communities with wonderful people.
Love you all for what you’ve put up with! Thanks so much!
Chris
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through right now. But I do know what a remarkable individual John is, and I’m sure that is in no small part a result of your influence. Like thousands of others I found John during a crisis of faith. It was a time in my life that I didn’t think anyone could understand what I was going through, least of all my family, and therefore I suffered alone for years. John’s words and work were what made me realize that I wasn’t a crazy or horrible person for having doubts. Though I’ve never met him in person, John made me feel valued and validated.
John is the truest example of leaving the 99 to care for the one. John ministers to the one that no one else will touch. The ones with messy, unanswerable questions. The ones that don’t fit any mold. I am angered and saddened by the events of this week, because in all my years of active membership in the church I’ve never seen a more Christlike example than John. In spite of the pain you are undoubtedly suffering, I hope you can be proud of him. He has saved lives and souls.
Dear Beautiful Margi and Dehlin children,
May the hope that your husband and dad gave so many of us now be delivered to you. You have a very special rock-star dad who stands up for righteousness. My thoughts are with your family and may all those around you treat you with respect, kindness, and Christ-like love. Our Heavenly Parents sure love you and the sacrifices your family has made will not go unnoticed. We send our love and appreciation.
Dehlins,
John is a prince of a man – you are so lucky to have him as yours. Thinking back on the influence he has had on my life, it’s hard not to get choked up. He saved my life in more ways than one, and helped me in ways he and others may never understand. And never asked for anything in return. Best to you all and much love.
Ten years ago, I resigned from the LDS church when I could no longer watch it wallow in mediocrity on a different point while claiming to be a celestial society. Hugh Nibley’s book “Approaching Zion” helped ease my exit.
With even clearer vision afforded by distance, I now see that the gerontocracy leading the LDS church is essentially deaf and blind which is not surprising for men of that age. As long as one has to be a man and reach 85 or so to take the helm, it will always be male centric and two or three generations behind other organizations headed by women and men of a more vibrant age.
After the coming forth of scientific proof that American Indians have no Hebrew ancestry, being suckered in by the Salamander Letter, the church finally admitting that Brigham Young’s racism was at the core of its ban on blacks holding the priesthood, and other revelations casting doubt on the church’s divine origins or being currently led by divine revelation (nor, imho, is any church), I’d have thought that Mormon leadership would lay low on its homophobic policies.
Alas, it looks like the “elders” (a most fitting term) are determined to go down with the ship on this matter….and it’s sinking fast. Convert baptisms are drying up, members are defecting en masse and the PR scam that the church continues to grow will not hold up much longer.
I encourage all members who no longer have a belief in the church to resign or defiantly submit to “discipline” (their choice) along with John and Kate. That will help expose the fact that there are no more than 4 million active, believing Mormons on the planet and either force the church into the modern era or hasten its descent into irrelevance.
That being said, I also have no problem with believing Mormons holding onto the good that they see in their church and in their beliefs. To each his or her own, and I support a pluralistic society even if some people persist in holding onto quaint, outdated beliefs based on invented histories. Such believers will probably catch on soon enough, but, if not, Mormons make great, service-oriented neighbors…at least in my experience.
Dear Dehlin family,
There is so much love and support coming your way, I pray you feel it. I personally thank you for living your authentic lives so publicly alongside John, so that many of us can not feel so alone in wherever we are on our faith journey. Prayers to you through this difficult time and may those near you surround you with comfort and kindness.
Much love,
Anna
I just wanted to write and tell you and your family, John, how much I respect you as a person. I am an active and committed member of the Church who has read your site with great interest and admiration for the way you have always respected honest seekers with positions on every side of Church history and other issues. Many of your interviews have helped me sort through my own questions and concerns, and for that I am deeply grateful.
Your love for the Church has always been evident, and it pains me to think that your search for truth has brought you to this place. I want you to know that I am praying for you and your entire family. The rich fabric of our church family would be diminished without you.
Sincerely,
Sue
Dearest Dehlin Family,
I am relatively new to Mormon Stories but fortunately, I found your Dad’s website at an absolutely critical point in my faith journey. As a convert and active member of the church for the past 35 years, I had no one to turn to when things started falling apart. I now have listened to almost 100 of John’s interviews in just the past couple of months. Though I have never met John, I consider him a friend and someone whom I greatly admire and respect for his sacrifice and courage. John’s work is so very important for all those who have struggled, doubted and questioned. The threatened action the church is about to take reveals the weakness of its leaders and their fear of open and honest dialogue. It further confirms for me that I no longer want to be part of an institution where honest, sincere truth seekers, like John, are silenced.
You have our love and support.
Dehlin Family,
http://www.www.mormonstories.org helps me deal my doubts and struggles with the church. It is a place of refuge for me; a place where I can listen to other people who have struggled like I have. mormonstories has helped me stay in the church and love the church despite the many leaders short comings.
This church should be a place where people have the right and freedom speak freely, even if it means to criticize. I am not sure what the church leaders fear.
Keep up the good work
Trust your father, he loves you and would not lead your astray. Although you might think there isn’t a happy life outside of the LDS church, let me assure you, from experience, there is complete joy and peace. Stand by your father, love him and trust him, you will be happy you did.
Dear Dehlin Family. I’m from Brazil. I have had hard years in my stake since I begin my university carreer and learned how to think in a manner many times different from the way we think inside the Church. Since them, I have many talks with my father (my mother are deceased) who are sad with me, but understand what I’m talking about. My former stake presidency and former bishop tryed to acuse me for apostasy, but since my father is the stake patriarch and a former stake presidency counselor, I believe they don’t have the courage to acuse me formally. I don’t know how to speak a good English, I don’t have a good vocabulary, but I want to say you a thing: people can fear you. Many, with a mormon closed mind will not desire to talk with you. Many will not like to stay with you. But if you believe the Church is true, is the kingdom of God in Earth, is the right way, if you believe God is a God of miracles, and no man can judge with the eyes of God, you will be well. I learned that man can try to give me down, but God sustain us. I hope you have strenght and no fear. I hope you have confidence. Your father don’t think inside a box. He are trying to find “all the true in a whole”. We are not apostates. Our leaders don’t want us, but we are mormons too. We can be still better mormons than our leaders. We can be members who love our Church but has conscience of its problems. And since we know these problems, we fight to solve it, to help others in don’t be afraid with it. I hope with all my heart your stake presidency don’t sue your father. But if it do it, I hope your father has the conscience to appeal to the área presidency, the quórum of the Twelve and, at the end, the First Presidency. But, one day, I believe the Lord will bless us, all of us. Please, be strong and have Faith. I pray for you. Good luck, and still well. With all my heart in support you, Diego.
Dear Dehlin family,
John’s podcasts have sustained me over the last few years. I came across them at a critical point in my life…a time when my faith was troubled, my list of questions long, my community small. Suddenly I felt the meaning of community. Suddenly I found that there were others out there with questions and doubts and concerns. Suddenly Mormonism became rich and meaningful to me (yes, troubled too, but alive). John has shared of himself in such a deeply personal, honest and loving way. He has been with all of us on our journeys, and we have been allowed the deeply personal gift of being with him on his journey. In a church where most stories are sanitized, it has been so refreshing to have real stories filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, questions and answers. I know that you have been there by his side supporting him…supporting all of us. It can’t have been an easy road. I can’t begin to understand the sacrifices your family has made for all of us…in time, finances, resources, emotional, etc. I thank you and John for this. This is true religion.
With love,
Sasha
Amen.
I’m not LDS. I say “stay strong, and follow your heart.” God knows your heart and the truth. Only God can judge you; not that committee.
John, I can’t express how important your voice is to those struggling with faith. I for one will always believe that you and all your work has a valuable, I would even say indispensable, part in the church. Who among us have not struggled with faith? You are simply one of the few who had the courage to honestly confront those doubts and help others do so as well, without compulsion, without fear, but with love and understanding. Your family should know that your name will be had for good among generations of Mormons to come.
I am a woman in my sixties, serving in the Relief Society presidency of my ward. I have been fully active all my life, have sent my children on missions, and will undoubtedly witness missions for my grandchildren. Ever since my late teens I have felt so different from other LDS people, because, although I tried and tried, I could never remove my doubts about my religion. These were only doubts, not disbelief, but nonetheless they were there, and were constantly nagging at me. I stayed active in the church, and have a great love for the church, but felt very alone, without anyone to talk honestly with. As I got older, my hunger for conversations with others who could understand me became almost unbearably strong; I felt I had nowhere to turn. And then I found John’s Mormon Stories podcasts. I found that there are many other people like myself, and just that knowledge lifted a huge burden from me. I eagerly listened to the various points of view, which were honestly and openly expressed, and I felt that I had moved from a confined space into a world of lightness and freedom. I felt the way Joseph Smith expressed his desire for all of us to feel. Giving voice to my concerns and doubts allowed me to break free from my self-imposed bondage, and I started studying with vigor. In the few years since, I have gained more of an understanding and appreciation of the Gospel than in all my years previously. I now pray more fervently, and serve more joyously. I am a better member of the church. And yes, I still have doubts, but I no longer feel afraid of them.
Thank you John, and your entire family, for what you’ve done for me. I’m sure there are many others now, and in the future, who need the help you give.
I will be praying that you will be allowed to stay in the church. It will be a tragic loss for our church to lose you.
Dee, I can relate to your comments. I am in my early 70s and direct the music in R.S. and Sacrament meetings and am currently active in the church. Even though I am a former missionary, I haven’t been consistently active for the last 15 years or so; my search for spiritual growth and a closer connection to Christ has not suffered and I have been lead to the writings of many wonderful people that have blessed my life. I have had serious doubts and concerns and have also been blessed with wonderful friends and bishops who understand that God’s ways or definitely higher than man’s ways–even higher than the church’s ways.
Unlike you, I have had many associates over the years I could discuss my questions with, because they were willing to ask the same ones and more. Also, in Church and Seminary in the 50s and Institute classes in the 60s, many of the concerns now raised on Internet sites were issues we discussed openly. They weren’t a big deal; they just were what they were. I am not always comfortable with what I hear said in lessons and in meetings, but occasionally add comments I feel will be beneficial or plant seeds for the future.
Congratulations on being able to set your fears aside. Ideally we would never be afraid of the questions we have nor of being able to ask them. But, we do not live in an ideal world, and discernment is a virtue. I admire your choice to be “active with questions.” I believe that it is a blessing to their congregations when questioning members continue to serve.
Not knowing all the details, as I just read this evening about John and Kate Kelly on KSL News, and this is my first time on this site, I wish the best for him. I see a lot of support being sent his way. I send mine.
I do not know who I am quoting, but a friend just sent me this from FB. “Of course they knew what the consequences could be… but isn’t it possible they both dreamed of a better world than the one where they knew what to expect? And does knowing how dangerous a path you are prepared to walk in service to your conscience really mean that you “deserve” what happens when it turns out to be painful or abusive?”
Your father serves as a great example. His actions come from a good place, his sincerity appreciated. He is a great Man and doing his best to be a Great Father.
Dear Dehlin family,
I am so very sorry for all the pain and turmoil in your lives right now. When I found Mormon Stories I was very, very angry with the Mormon church while my husband remained a faithful TBM. We tried to be respectful of one another’s beliefs, but it was extremely difficult- especially in regards to how to raise our two children we have together. Mormon stories has been a tremendous help to us. It helped me to work through much of my anger and see some of the positive ways that the Church has impacted my life. It helped me to see that there are ways to remain part of the Church while still being true to oneself after a crisis of faith. It also helped my husband understand where I was coming from and let go of some of his black and white perceptions of how things should be. I had recently begun to hope that LDS culture is beginning to change and that there may be a place for me there. I have been discussing with my husband the possibility of returning to the fold so to speak, not as a TBM of course, but an active member of the LDS community nonetheless.
However, this news comes as a serious blow to anyone who has doubts or questions about Mormonism. I know John has ardently expressed that he does not want anyone to resign their membership over this matter, but I feel as though I may have to. It would not be an act of defiance or retribution against the Church, but this has dashed my budding hopes that there might actually be a place for me in the LDS community. I see this as a very clear message that I’m not wanted there, at least not unless I can shut up and pretend everything’s hunky-dory which is something I can’t do.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
I would like to take this moment to thank you for your strength and support of your husband and father Mr. John Dehlin.
Mormonstories has been a Godsend to me for the last several years on this journey, that at times – as many have said already – that it can be a lonely quest for truth and answers. Because of John’s great efforts and informative interviews and insights it makes this journey a little easier to walk in my shoes, and as if I have a kindred spirit of sorts. For that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
John, from Scotland, my heartfelt and continued support to you, your wife and your lovely children.
You deserve great respect for your integrity and devotion to truth.
Your family should be so very proud of you as you continue caring and being concerned for the plight of others.
With sincere respect to you and yours,
Andrew
Dehlin Family-
“Be the change you wish to see in the world”
-Mahatma Gandhi
I admire your husband’s and dad’s courage and willingness to express, share, and explore different views and other thought provoking ideas through Mormon Stories. Even though those ideas might not be shared by the majority right now. He is a pioneer. A trail blazer. And, sometimes doing the right thing isn’t the easiest thing.
You know him better than anyone and NEVER forget that!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’m so, so sorry. I have no idea what this journey may look like for your family. I pray that it may be filled with kindness, gentleness, compassion and love. I pray that your local community may rally together and fill your hearts and home with love.
My own journey of faith in the LDS church has been a difficult one. For about 1 1/2 years I was in a wilderness, estranged from God. I wasn’t sure what I believed, if God listened to me, and if I wanted to be apart of a religious community who preaches love but at times acts out in fear and hate. I listened to the podcasts on Phil McLemore and then was able to meet him in person and attend one of his 4 hour meditation classes. I literally found God again. I have begun a practice of meditation and my spiritual journey is beginning and i have become awakened. The mormon story podcasts have been so pivotal for so many people, to have a community of like minded folks talking about the hard, messy, aspects of life.
Thank you for your support of John being able to be the activist who has enabled many people find their way back to God.
Blessings,
Vanessa
I send my love and sympathy for this heartbreaking and difficult time for your family. What God has ordained, no man can break to pieces or tear apart. The church leadership has power to remove your dad’s name from the records of the church, but they do not have power to make his covenants with God and his family disappear, nor can they remove his power and authority, which we know he has because of the goodness and pure love for his fellow men and the man hundreds of people that have talked about his positive influence in their lives.
By their fruits ye shall know them, and John has produced good fruit through the love and concern he has for many of his brothers and sisters. His actions speak louder than the words of those that wish to make him an example through discipline. If you feel good about your husband, and your father, then no one can remove you from each other as an eternal family. Your bonds remain beyond the formality of church law. God makes covenants valid, not men.
Your dad has made a significant positive impact in the life of my family. I live happily and free to be me because of his influence. I love him for his positive contribution in my life and the lives of others. He is a good man with a good heart. Imperfect but always striving to do good. That is what I consider to be a true disciple, regardless of his personal testimony of Christ.
My faith has been strengthened and my place in the church reassured over and over listening to John’s wonderful podcast. I know so very many people who John has reached….he is a treasure and a blessing and this whole episode is heartbreaking.
I will be praying for the best possible outcome. -Jen
John Dehlin is a hero. As I struggled with doubts that led to me questioning the Church, his kindhearted perspective was the one voice that almost kept me in. Even though I decided not to remain a member, John’s podcast helped me to feel comforted and understood at a time when I felt terrified and alone. I can’t think of a better embodiment of Christian virtues in this modern world. No one should be punished for standing up for what they believe is right. Don’t be angry at the Church, but realize that John is a brave person… and brave people are frequently misunderstood.
Like the hundreds of posters before me, I and my family appreciate deeply the light and knowledge I have experienced upon finding my way to Mormon stories. So many good and wonderful things have happened in my life and in my family’s life over the last year that would not have been possible without the risk and sacrifice of John and especially his dear family. I know it’s upsetting to be treated this way but good thing can come of it. There is a wonderful world out there, full of opportunities for spiritual growth, love and connection with God without the many difficulties of the church. God’s love and wisdom shines down on all his children and the idea that you need to be a Mormon to receive it is a convenient and unfortunately deeply propagated myth.
See your worth as God sees you. Create your own relationship with Him. Its all you need to be right with God. Remember all truth passes 3 phases: First it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, third it is accepted as being self evident. Your family took this huge hit for the team here and your contribution in retrospect will be seen as vast and noble. But for now, like every great activist, in the moment and the current mindset, it will be mired in controversy.
Keep a strong and positive view of yourself, your intention and goodness. Don’t let anyone shape that for you. It’s a right they want you to believe is theirs but on this point they are woefully wrong. Hindsight will make this clear. Praying for love and peace for you and your family. Thank you for your brave and selfless work.
With all our family’s love!
Dehlin Family,
I can’t tell you how much mormonstories has helped me though a very painful time in my life. Listing to the podcasts has help love deeper and see that god is so much bigger then I had thought. Thank you for your sacrifice.
John Dehlin and his thoughtful, caring, gentle approach in those interviews saved me from the darkest period of my life where I was I thought I was broken and alone. Once I became aware of Mormon Stories, I listened to every episode that I could. It was the only way I could safely process my doubts. I saw in those interviews, my own story. It gave me such comfort. I gained a hope in myself, hope in the church, and hope I could be happy. Whatever the future holds for you and your husband and father, I hope you remember the tremendous influence his sacrifice and your sacrifice has had on people like me. John Dehlin is a True Christian. I will never forget.
These comments bring tears to my eyes. My heart is so sore for what your family is going through. It’s just NOT right. Our own LDS beliefs state that we should be allowed to worship God according to our own conscience, and I am grateful that you have done that and have helped so many in the process.
John, I want to thank you for all that you have done, are doing, and hopefully will keep doing. You’ve made a huge impact on my life and that of my family. There were times I felt like the world was falling down when things weren’t quite making sense, and you gave me information to help me through it. Your work is so important.
Margi and children, my heart is so sore for all of you. Your life is changing so much right now, and I hope you know how much we all appreciate all that your husband does and all that you do by being there for and with him. We hope and pray for God to watch over you and protect your family. Remember that God is perfect, men are not. It’ll be all right in the end.
(And, if things get too unbearable…Texas is a great place to live. We’d love to have you.)
Love, hugs, and prayers…
I am sorry for the heart ache your family is experiencing. My transition away from the church was very quiet and relatively easy. I did not feel the angst or anger of being betrayed, I simply walked away. Having walked away at a time when my three young children are at or nearing the age of baptism, we certainly felt the unintended effects of abandonment. Many who reside in areas dense in mormon population will claim that this does not happen and is only the perception of those who are no longer part of the flock. I can sadly say I have experienced first hand the obvious and intentional ostracizing of those who no longer bare testimony of the “truth” of the mormon doctrine. My only advice is to hold on to those who prove to be true friends, and they will show themselves as your ordeal progresses. Some of my dearest and truest friendships have been revealed by my changing viewpoint regarding spiritual matters. Those are the type of people who you really want in your life anyway, those whose friendships were or can be determined by opinions or beliefs are not the type of people who lift up others. Good luck in your journey.
Thank you, John, for creating a supportive space that has helped me tremendously to deal with my faith questions. You have made a huge impact on helping people navigate a very painful transition, but for me I found validation, love and support in my Mormon Stories group.
Tami in Indiana
To John and his family,
Thank you, every one of you. John’s work has helped people who felt alone in a faith crisis to feel connected to a caring and compassionate man who understood their pain.
I’m sorry for all the time you’ve missed by sharing him with everyone he was helping. I’m sorry for the negative fallout you’ve experienced.
Your family will be okay. We left four years ago and our lives are much better. I am happy I decided to follow my heart and the spirit. I left because of many of the issues that your Dad advocates for. I simply left a religion to find my spirituality. It sounds scary to be the center of such a public calling out. Stay united as a family. TALK and communicate with each other. We talked until we were blue in the face with our four kids. They were our first priority when things got really tough. Your true friends will stay by your side no matter what happens. Those that walk away, and there will be a few, have their free agency to do so. It doesn’t make it any less painful but know that it will be better. I recently wrote about our experience of leaving the church through answering some of the most asked questions. Maybe that would help you to understand where we were and where we are now and let you see that we made it and our kids are happy. Looking back I would do it all over again because of where are hearts, love and compassion are today.
You are in our prayers and thoughts and definitely know first hand what you are experiencing. HUGS
R.I.P. Mormon Church
PR disaster.
Baptisms taking a nosedive.
Dehlin Family,
I really respect John. Things like this are not easy and are very difficult to navigate.
Ironically, there are many members of the ex-Mormon community which look down on John for not resigning already.
I wish you the best.
It gets better!
10 years ago a bishop in Nashville TN entered my life and decided I needed to be removed from the church. I only meet him once, the day I invited him into our house. Our, my partner of over 10 years, house.
I was excommunicated shortly after that. I guess, because I was gay and was living with my partner.
He, the bishop, did not know me. That evening was our first meeting.
I often wonder why it was so important to remove me from the church.
I had not been in years. I was never disrespectful of the church.
I guess it was because I was a name on his ledger that needed to be resolved.
I always kind to the church, I would always tell people the church made me who I am.
Kind, respectful, hopeful, and a very nice person.
My name was removed shortly after that. And I survived.
I lived on …
I am still a very kind, respectful, and a very nice person.
I know that it is more important what is in your heart then what is on a piece of paper.
Best of luck. I promise. Whatever happens, it gets better.
Dehlin family,
I’d just like to convey my support. One of the things that has kept me in this church is that people like John Dehlin are in the Mormon church. Many of the videos on this website and his Tedx talk about the ally within has given me a tremendous amount of hope. I’d just like to thank you for that.
Dehlin Family, As the father of a gay son, I appreciate your father’s outspoken support and advocacy for LGBT understanding and acceptance in the Mormon community. Much more work needs to be done to foster a culture of compassion, unconditional love, and acceptance; I truly appreciate your father’s efforts. Please stand with him and be proud of his courage.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I have to raise my voice along with so many to say that I have benefited greatly from my recent discovery of Mormon Stories since coming back to church after a long and needed hiatus. Knowing that there is open discussion of real issues and a forum for faith and doubt has helped me commit to stay. I am so grateful to your husband/dad for his efforts and for your sacrifices to help him focus on this important work. I am sick at heart over this action by the church and have you all in my prayers. Much love
Dear Dehlin family,
I am so sorry for the trials you are going through right now. Please know that you are loved; that you are being thought about; and that you are being prayed for. John, you have been an inspiration for me. Your work on mormon stories has given me hope in the LDS church. I pray that the leaders will not ruin all of the bridges you have built for us Mormons who do not fit the normal mode. I know that this experience will make your family stronger because this will be a true exercise of courage. Thank you for having the courage to stand up for what is right and for not bending even in The face of excommunication.
“If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.”
Thomas J. Watson
I served as a missionary in another country shortly after the Proposition 8 campaign took place. One day, as my companion and I walked down a street, a man riding a bike stopped next to us. He told us that he was gay, and then with great anger, he said, “Why do you hate me? Why do you target me? Get out of my country. I don’t want you here spreading such hatred.”
I certainly didn’t hate him, I thought as he rode away. How could I hate someone I had never met? I also knew that the Church didn’t hate him. And most importantly, I knew that God didn’t – couldn’t – hate him.
But I didn’t blame him for feeling hated. I understood why, from his perspective, he felt targeted and attacked and hated. Your father has done so much to try and help people in that exact situation see that they need not feel targeted or hated by us. He has shown them a proper example of who we can be. He has been an emissary – or, if we translated that into Greek, an apostle – from the Church out to people most in need of feeling God’s love and presence. He should be commended for that work.
I have such strong feelings about Mormon stories because it has been apart of my journey for so long. When I first realized I had major questions about Mormon doctrine I read his essay on how to Stay LDS. Then I found Mormon stories and finally felt like I wasn’t the only one with these taboo concerns. I loved the respectful dialogue I saw there and I loved that John Dehlin was there showing me it was possible when I had always been taught there was no middle way in Mormonism. Have you ever watched the show house? It’s a medical show and on it they frequently deal with people who cannot breathe because their lungs are collapsed. So they have to release the pressure in the chest cavity so the lung can re inflate again. Finding myself more and more outside of Mormonism was like that for me. It is a crushing unbearable loneliness and it feels like you can’t breathe. For awhile Mormon stories felt like that breath of life for me. Like maybe God was coming for me after all, even if later and in a different way than I expected. Mormon stories gave real credibility to Uchdorf’s message this past conference of “no matter the stength of your testimony, there is a place for you here.” Now I feel like that has evaporated and it is a huge loss for me.
I have a brother-in-law who had his name removed from Church records. He is a very good man who has issues that brought this about but it did not affect his children in their small community which you can say is about 96% LDS. I have a lot of admiration and respect for my sister for her strength and testimony through out the years of their marriage in teaching the children and her example.
Years ago, I knew a family in which the husband was excommunicated for what ever reason. Inspite of being excommunicated, he had a strong testimony and would attend our meetings faithfully even though he could not partake of the sacrament or participate much. After some time he was rebaptised. That was such a joyous, emotion filled spiritual day.
As you go through these trials in your life, set the example for your children with love and through your testimony. Teach them to not be ashamed, to love The Lord every moment and every day of their life, to hold their heads up and look at people in the eye. Pray with them daily for strength and guidance and they will come through. Keep your own testimony strong as well. Don’t become bitter as my brother-in-law did. Everything will work out. Always remember, you are a beloved son of God.
Hi John and family,
Only around 150 years ago the bravest Americans in our country’s history took on tremendous risk to provide an underground railroad for Africans to escape slavery. I count you among them. No Mormon seeking to escape the devastating mind control of the doctrine of inadequacy put in place and utterly depended upon by the white male geritocracy can ever thank you enough for the content available via Mormon Stories. You bent over backwards to be fair, you put yourself, your career and your family at risk. Here’s to the celebration your heart should be having every time a person reasons themselves out of the church because they downloaded and listened to you. I count you among them.
deepest regards,
matt
so incredibly heart broken for you and your family john. i really hope for the future of the church this will have a different out come than what it’s looking like. you’ve done so much and thank everything that is good for the internet and all the work that will forever be recorded here.
Dear Dehlin Family-
Although I have never truly struggled with my testimony of the gospel, I have loved ones who have and continue to do so. Mormon stories has helped me have greater love, understanding and compassion for those who struggle. I pray your family may be strengthened and that you may feel the love of The Lord as you go through this difficult experience.
I want you and you family how deeply grateful I am for your efforts. I know many others who feel the same but may not express it here. Your work has changed how I feel about and view the world for the better!
Thanks! Karl
John and family many thanks!!! You have my support !!
Dear Dehlin Children,
Your father is a great example of Christ like love and acceptance. He is doing many members of the LDS church a great service through his podcasts. This challenge will be extremely difficult, but know there are thousands of people that are standing beside you accepting and loving you and your parents every step of the way through this difficult journey.
Keep your heads up and realize that as Dr. Seuss wrote, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
Kindly,
Jennifer Redd
“Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I’ll choose another way?
I ain’t trying to do what everybody else doing
Just cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I’ll fall but I’ll grow
I’m walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home”
When my doubts turned to disbelief I found that I didn’t want to be an orthodox Mormon but I didn’t want to be an ex-mormon either. John Delhin showed me a middle ground and gave me hope that for ONCE the church was going to strengthen MY testimony by allowing people like him, Kate Kelly and Rock Waterman to stay members. He made me feel like I wasn’t alone; that I wasn’t crazy for questioning; that I could exist in the church as a cultural mormon.
All I can say is that I’m sorry this happened and I am grieving for you and myself because I feel now there is no “middle way”. John’s wife and children, I am so sorry.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston.
I have been listening to John for about 8 years. He has been a voice of comfort to me and numerous others I know as we have all wrestled with our own specific struggles of discovery about our faith. As a police officer and soldier I can tell you that people are sometimes asked to make sacrifices for others. Your good husband and father is on a mission for others….just like any soldier. He has made personal sacrifices and so has his family. Please know and understand that you are all in very good company on this. You will one day understand the force for good that he has become. I admire him greatly for his service and for all of your sacrifices. Hold your heads high and praise the almighty for the opportunity you all have to stand for something truly good. Regardless of the consequences that may appear on the surface by what some may have to say. There is a much bigger and more important picture here. There are many more who stand with you than you can imagine. Our Lord and Master is still in charge and all will be made well in His time. Thank you John and Family. God bless you all.
John
Dehlin Family,
Thank you for sharing your husband/father with so many of us who struggle as round pegs being shoved into square holes. I believe that John is better than most of us at living according the light that is in him. I hope you will stand by him in what is sure to be a stressful time for all of you.
Dear Dehlins,
I found MormonStories at a time when I was starting to think that I was the only person in the church who had questions, had gay friends/family and identified as a feminist. I remember after finding the podcasts telling my husband that, “I had found my people.” I cried as I listened to podcast after podcast. It was like coming home.
My sweet atheist husband left the church 2years before I did. There was so much to process and the podcasts helped me more than words can express. Thank you! I’m happy to say that our family of 4 has resigned and we have never been more at peace. We are living authentic lives. MormonStories helped with that .
I’m so sorry for the pain your family is experiencing. It’s not right and your family deserves more…more than the church offers. Take care and know that we are behind you!
Dear Dehlin Family,
I’ve been following John’s work since 2006. I was a newly temple married 19 year old who started experiencing doubts and concerns when I found his youtube videos. He was kind enough to return a few of my emails.
Perhaps these notes are a small token in your hour of grief and turmoil, but we do want to offer our support and condolences. I can tell that John truly care about people and the pain they are going through. I, and a lot of other LDS people who struggle, care immensely about the out come of this trial. We care about John and you all. We are saddened by the pain you are going through. He is a very brave man to speak so boldly and eloquently truth to power and I hope that after the shock and pain wanes you can look back with pride at what your partner/father sacrificed and did to help others and to seek truth. I know it’s been hard, but we want to thank you so very much for supporting your partner/father as he support so many strangers in pain. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you.
This saddens me personally for the implication this has for a larger more inclusive and loving church. I love John and I loved Mormonism, but it’s just too painful for me to participate in any longer.
Best Wishes and virtual hugs.
Dear Dehlin Family,
You are all very brave. We stand with you. This is a time to appeal to Pr Dieter Uchtdorf and ask the church to clarify its policy and the meaning of his October 2013 talk.
God bless
Thank you for speaking openly and honestly. Thank you for not being strategic. Thank you for being willing to expose yourself, to be seen by a million eyes. Thank you for being sympathetic. My journey has followed much of the trail you blazed. Thank you.
I guess there have to be people to do the hard things that the weak in spirit can’t do. I am a better person because of the things John has shared. There are so many people out in the world that support your family. Be proud of what you stand for. I have been changed for good.
My husband started listening to MSP after he had come to the conclusion that the church had covered up and sugar-coated the history of the church. The way he had found this information out was a request from our son, who was on a mission, that we send him a “Mormon Doctrine” book. To get a “good deal”, my husband went on the internet and typed in Mormon. What he got was more than he bargained for and needless to say, being a faithful and good Mormon, he went to prove what was being said false. I had had questions about different things over the years but put them up on a shelf because no one could or would answer them. My son came home from his mission with many of the same questions and he couldn’t find any one in the church that had answers so he wanted to find out for himself so he could be at peace. Our oldest daughter told us that she had known but kept it to herself and went to church for the social part. Another son, who was fighting cancer, had quit going to church and was thinking about coming back but after hearing what we had found out he said, “all we need to do is follow the ‘Golden Rule'” Our other daughters left the church also. I am a Mormon in name only and our whole family has found a more spiritual life than before. A point that I was going to make is that we did not let the church pull us apart, we had so much respect for husband/father for the most honest person we knew. We know all about how people from the church do not know how to react to very active people leaving the church…that some are very uncomfortable, some are judging and do not act as Christian as they should but the main thing is that we know who we are. As Jesus said “Come let us reason together” that is what your husband and father has done and does not deserve to be excommunicated for bringing forth the truth. I could never understand the churches position “Lying for the Lord”. God would never ask us to lie. Love each other, support each other. God Bless
Dear family,
Your dad and husband helped me through one of the hardest periods of my life. He gave me hope that maybe I could stay in a church that had portrayed itself to be something that it isn’t if only I could believe enough of it (not all).
I see him as a friend, even though he likely doesn’t know who I am. I didn’t feel completely alone and loneliness is (in my opinion) the most wretched feeling a person can have.
I know things will likely be hard for a while, in fact they probably already are hard, but know that everything he did that they are finding fault with, he did with compassion and empathy.
He (and you) deserve the same in return.
Hang in there, no matter the outcome of their actions (which I dare say, are not loving or compassionate) things will get better with time.
Dehlin family,
Thanks for your dedication to building bridges between mormons and ex-mormons. The world is a much better place for your help with calming the anger that often arises from misunderstandings between the two groups.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for the work that you do and for your dedication to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” There is no person within this faith that exemplifies better a dedication and understanding of what it means to keep these baptismal covenants.
Hey
Dehlin Family, you have a great dad.
Jacob B
Margi & kids,
Your husband and father is a hero. Not in a fictional online niche sense, but in a truly real sense, in that he has guided thousands of good-intentioned people toward greater awareness, honesty, kindness, tolerance, respect, open-mindednes, compassion, and love. His guidance has helped thousands in making major life decisions that have affected the course of their lives and their loved ones. I am one of those people. And I have never once regretted doing what John helped give me the courage to do: to follow my conscience, rather than bowing my head to prideful mean-spirited aggressors.
My heart is breaking for you all. John has been an inspiration in my life. I hope you are all able to find peace and happiness.
Thank you, John. Best wishes to you and your family.
I have never seen John Dehlin comport himself as anything other than a kind and sincere man who genuinely cares for and tries to help others.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I discovered the podcast right as I was heading into the darkest portion of my faith crisis. John helped me to feel like I was not alone and to believe that I could find a way to enjoy life even though my sense of self had shattered. I cannot say how much Mormon Stories helped me to find a way to move forward in my life.
John,
Our prayers are with you at this time. And I say to your family, Continue to love and support your dad and husband. He will need your love.
Dear Mr. Dehlin and Family,
The Lord works in amazing ways; there is such good news in this trial!
I am a (nondenominational) Christian. I am a sinner who falls short day to day. I am in need of a Savior. There is no amount of good work that I (or anyone) can accomplish that earns me a right status with God. God sent His Perfect Son so that we could be rescued from what we all deserve (yes, truly we all deserve Hell)! It is upon personal conviction of our sins AND belief in The Son’s atoning work that we are saved ….. By faith alone, by grace alone. Each of us has one Judge, and He alone is the One we will answer to upon departing this earth. He will not inquire about our church membership– nor will He request your pedigree or a list of righteous deeds. He will have known whether we were brokenhearted about our sin and rested in the assurance that Christ paid it All! He cancelled our debt (in full) ….we are not saved by our good works, but FOR good work. For His Glory!
Why am I (non LDS) reading your letter and responses? Not by accident, The Lord has placed me in the midst of many nice, friendly families of the LDS faith. My children are friends with theirs. I long to broach the topic of the Godpel with them. In time, The Lord will present the opportunity.
Praying you and your family will not only seek, but find, the author and perfector of your faith.
Ann
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston,
My heart goes out to your entire family during this time. If it were not for John’s “Why They Leave” presentation my family would probably not be together today. I have listened to much of his material and shared it with others in my family to help them understand my own struggles with the church and it has helped immensely. Please know that we are thinking of you and hope for all the best for your family.
Dear Winston,
My youngest will be turning 8 next month. She wants to be baptized. I thought of you first when I heard the news about your dad. I thought about how brave your dad was when he worked together with the bishop to get ready to baptize you. I thought about how much he must love you and how he has shown the world that he would do anything for you. You must be a pretty fantastic kid.
I hope you can continue to work together as a family through all the tough stuff. Especially all this stuff that’s going on now. It doesn’t make very much sense to a lot of us, because your dad has been such a kind, helpful, and decent man, helping a lot of people who felt hurt and confused, but it reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: “Confusion makes the best catalyst!” It means that when something doesn’t make sense, we tend to work harder at figuring out the problem so that we can understand it better, and that ‘working’ pushes us forward into a much better place.
So, just in case you were curious, I’m going to have my daughter wait until she’s a lot older to get baptized – for two reasons. 1) She doesn’t have a dad like yours who can help her make the right decisions for herself & 2) I’m hoping that with all of us ‘working’ to make the church a place that loves and accepts everyone (not just people that it finds convenient to accept) she will have a far better and far more fantastic church to join. ;)
Wishing you all the best! ~S80
Just want to wish you all strength as you go through this mess. It’s for a worthy cause. In 20 years (hopefully less) we’re going to look back on this dark period, and you guys will have been on the right side of history. Thank you!
Dear Dehlins,
As a public figure and being raised in the Church, it has been difficult for me to ask questions and seek answers regarding church history that have not made sense to me. Even when I bear my burdens silently, there are always people out there who want to publicly shame me for choices I make that they do not approve of. I may know a bit of what your dad is facing right now. Additionally, with three gay members in my family, your dad’s research and publications have GREATLY helped me to fearlessly support the LGBT community in general as well as in the church. I believe his contributions have been invaluable to church members seeking a safe place to discuss these things. He is a wonderful example of Christ-like love. Hang in there.
Love,
Mindy Gledhill
Dear John, Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston,
I am not a Mormon and never have been. Yet I am a devout Christian and have spent many hours learning about and meditating on God’s Love for humanity. While sitting in your Dad’s TEDx talk last year at Utah State University I was profoundly touched by his reflection of that same love for his fellow mankind. That is a love that can only arise from a deep faith and trust in our creator.
I want you to know that Logan UT may seem like a very empty and scary place if you may find yourselves shunned by a church and people who once were so important to you. But there are MANY churches in Logan UT that reflect that peace and love that God has for each of us and any of us would be HONORED to have you as friends and neighbors and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. As Christ told his disciples, “wherever two or three of you are gathered, I will be with you” and “the greatest commandment is to love your neighbors as yourself”. There you will find the TRUE church and the doors will ALWAYS be open for you.
May God richly bless each of you and may his love and peace fill your hearts.
Mark
To the Dehlin Family,
I can understand the anxiety you are likely facing with the recent action by the LDS church to discipline your father/husband. It’s difficult to comprehend how a church built on free agency and the search for truth can discipline one who is only following that creed. The irony of such action is evident when looking at the original roots of the church and the first step of the young Joseph Smith in seeking truth:
From James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
up·braid [uhp-breyd]
verb (used with object)
1. to find fault with or reproach severely; censure
2. (of things) to bring reproach on; serve as a reproach to.
verb (used without object)
3. Archaic. to utter reproaches.
Origin:
before 1000; Middle English; Old English upbrēdan to adduce as a fault. See up-, braid
Synonyms
1. reprove, blame. See reprimand.
As Joseph Smith sought truth in the grove, and was persecuted because of it, now we see others who seek the truth being persecuted (e.g.: disciplinary hearings) by the very institution which was founded upon that principle.
May you recognize the blessing you have of living with a man who will stand for the truth and defend the right of others to search for it in spite of the threats imposed by an institution which ironically seeks to restrict free agency.
I hope you can give him the respect and support which can only come from those closest to him as he faces this crisis. Even though we have never met, I admire his stance on the church and fully support his efforts to bring the truth to those who are seeking.
Dear John, Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston:
I join with the many others in a show of support at this particular time of trial. I hope the September six do not soon find the Tragic two as new members of the club. When will we learn – as Helen Keller taught – “The highest result of education is tolerance.” Or when will we learn – as Joseph Smith taught – “We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men [and women] the same privilege, let them worship how where or what they may.”
I ran across Mormon Stories a little over a year ago and have listened to many podcasts. I find them to be opinionated, no doubt, but also tolerant of virtually any and every opinion expressed. As such these podcasts reflect, from my perspective, “the highest result of education.” To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston I remind you of the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We all have our turn for pain and this will undoubtedly be one of yours. Please also remember “the keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there. . . .” That is to say he employs no Bishop, no Stake President, no Apostle and no Prophet to do his work “and there is no other way save it be by the gate; for he cannot be deceived, for The Lord God is his name.” I am thinking of all of you and hope for the best.
Thank you for what you have done for our community. I hope you and your family will learn good, if painful, lessons from this unfortunate circumstance. Wishing the best and hope to hear more good things from you, regardless of your status.
Dear Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Thank you all so much for your willingness to stand by your amazing husband and father. I am so very grateful for his diligence in asking questions and giving people a voice. Going through a faith transition has been the hardest thing that has happened in my life and John has been a true source of help and strength. Thank you for courageously supporting him, especially during this time when many people are misunderstanding the good he is doing. Sincerely I thank you all.
Good luck! The work you have done is priceless. It will nice we can move beyond this as a people and find better things. It’s unfortunately or exciting that we are the ones to go through this.
Dear Family Dehlin
Being a girl who grew up in West Germany, I have always been impressed by the stories of the Fluchthelfer. Those were citizens of Germany or other western countries, who were willing to risk their freedom and safety to help people from East Germany (sometimes total strangers) fly East Germany. Some of them were never caught, some of them were caught and sent to prison in East Germany, some stories were loudly never told, but all of them were heroes, for they tried not regarding what may happen to themselves, to make the lives of others better.
Your father and husband heavily remind me of them. He willingly risked his own standing in the church, by standing up for what is right. By doing so he made the lives of thousands members, who are struggling better. He provided courage and a voice, for many. He is truly someone you can be very proud of. But it is like always in history: Those who are just are crucified by the leading Pharisees. I hope you can find comfort in the fact, that he is truly a follower of Christ.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I just want to recognise and pay tribute to the support John’s work has given has given to those who needed (and didn’t get) support from the people they should have been able to talk to. Seems to me that he is truly mourning with those that mourn and offering comfort to those that stand in need of comfort, and the current developments are just baffling.
After experiencing a major faith crisis, I listened to a number of podcasts and was particularly inspired by Carol Lynn Pearson’s testimony and Joanna Brooks’ courage and insights. I decided that I would remain in the Church although I did not agree with some of the cultural and societal assumptions that Church leaders have made. I took the beautiful aspects of our culture and our religion and combined it with the best of other Christian faiths and my passion for Buddhism, and have found peace. Thank you, John, for giving me the courage and the wisdom to find peace amid sorrow and to remain active in a Church that sometimes stretches my faith to the breaking point.
I pray that you and your family will be surrounded by angels as you face the upcoming challenges and that your Church leaders will see you for who you really are: a good man who loves others and who is doing his best to love the Lord. May the Lord comfort and bless each of you.
To John’s Family,
It must be strange to read messages from people all over the world who have been helped by your husband/father over the years. I imagine you’ve sacrificed a lot and now you’re watching the man you care about so much sacrifice his standing in the church.
I just want you to know how much he has helped me, my brother and several close friends here in the UK through some very very tough times. My life has been bettered and enriched through John’s openness, honesty, integrity and the dialogue he has helped to create. Nothing can take that success away from you and your family.
John’s central message has always been about healing. I hope you can heal through this very difficult event and come out of the other end in a peaceful and happy place.
With much love and affection,
Chris
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston.
Your association with your husband and father is something I hope you are very proud of. John Dehlin is one of the greatest people of this generation.
Thanks for loving him and supporting him. He has brought so many people, including myself, peace and happiness in a world where those are hard to find.
I wish your family the same.
I am not LDS, though I have found refuge in “Mormon Stories” many times as I struggled with my own questions and issues. “Mormon Stories” has also made Utah and LDS culture seem more welcoming to me as a non-Mormon. When I first moved to SLC, I experienced intense culture shock, and I needed a “translator” or “guide” to help me understand. When I discovered “Mormon Stories,” it was such a relief.
John, you have helped me achieve greater understanding of the LDS, and many times, you have ignited my curiosity to learn more. You may not know it, but you have also comforted me through some personal crises.
I consider you an ambassador of the faith, not a threat to it.
To the Dehlin family: Please know that your husband and father’s work touches people of other faiths (or no faith), too, and helps them navigate in times of darkness.
To John and his family,
I’m currently serving as a bishop in a foreign country (the largest ward in our stake). I first came across John’s site, Mormonstories, about one year before I got called as a bishop. All I can say is that the Lord guided me to his site because from it I learned so much. All the valuable knowledge I gained from listening to his interviews prepared me for my current calling. Thanks to his work, I’m now successfully helping many members of my ward who are going through a faith crisis (some of them for many years and didn’t know what to do). There is no doubt in my mind that God is using John’s work to help prepare a new generation and a new type of leaders in the church who will know how to successfully deal with this new trend taking place within the church. John, thank you…whatever happens to you, remember what Quin once said: any excommunication must still be validated by the Spirit and as Snuffer has pointed out, you will still have your priesthood. You are a powerful tool in God’s hands, no doubt about it. One day, millions of people will thank you for what you have done…many of these will be people already on the other side of the veil watching their posterities being rescued by leaders whom you had helped become competent in dealing with their faith crisis. Thank you.
JT
Im 52. Born & raised lds. GREAT Mission to Ecuador. Attended Ricks and BYU Utah. At 23 became very bothered by inability to discuss church inconsistencies openly. Inactive at 25. Lost my rudder. Became confused. Made big mistakes. Worked hard at being alcoholic. At 47 my life collapsed. Wife left for another. Deep depression heavy alcohol use. My beautiful little girls became interested in the church. I wanted to come back but was deeply troubled by lds issues. I absolutely did not believe claims of Joseph Smith, BOM, lds proprietary correctness to God. How could I let my daughters believe the same things I was taught? Spent thousands $$ on counseling and ultimately tried LDS family services for counseling. I met Tony. A Mormon with fresh point of view. I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think the earth was 6000 years old. He wasn’t shocked at my tales of shame. He agreed with many of my doubts. He asked if I had heard of Mormon Stories. I started listening and stopped drinking at the same time. I Started going on long walks at four in the morning pondering while listening to John and his guests. Most mornings Come Come Ye Saints brought tears to my eyes. Joy filled my entire heart and soul as I listen to John sorting through these tough issues. He was doing what I wished I could do. John showed me the way back.
I’m sober. I’m active. I love to go to church even with the crazy ideas floating around. I am working toward temple marriage. I love my people and my heritage. I believe I can reconcile my issues and still belong with the people I love.
I believe the leaders of this church are good HUMAN men who make mistakes. In the opinion of this very insignificant fly in the ointment they are making a huge mistake now
Very moving, Jeff. Good luck on your journey.
Hang in there all of you. I am praying for your dad. My dad was excommunicated for apostasy when I was a teenager and the whole small Utah town was aware of it. I understand the grief and fear that you all must be facing. The difference between our fathers however is that my dad was disillusioned with the church and starting his own offshoot church. Your dad is trying get so very, very hard to make the lds church a safer and more welcoming place for members. His podcasts have been a lifeline for helping me stay in the church. As a teenager I felt that the church court was speaking for God. They aren’t. They are good men who are speaking for the church but they don’t get to judge your father’s heart. He’s a hero to so many people who love the church and want to make it a safer place. Prayers and hugs!
Dear Margi,
I’ve thought of you often over the past two-and-a-half years since I found Mormon Stories. It was a lifeline for me, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of toll it was taking on you. I had a friend whose husband was working on a Ph.D at the time, and he had suffered a breakdown, which she told me was quite common among Ph.D candidates. I am married to a man who is very focussed and driven, and it’s been difficult not having him as true partner because he is otherwise engaged. My husband, while not having anything like a following such as yours has, is very admired in his sphere, and I often worry about him wanting to come home to people who see him as merely human, when there is wider world willing to treat him as a superhero. I also wondered if you two could possibly be on the same page every time your husband talked about making changes in his church involvement.
So basically, I have been projecting myself onto you in what are completely inaccurate ways. But I want you to know that although you are a stranger to me, you have been in my thoughts. I know this journey that you didn’t choose must have been very fraught, and I’m sorry for any pain we may have caused you.
All the best,
Elissa
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston-
My life in the church has been given an incredible amount of depth because of the work of John. My curiosity and interest in life and its meanings and mysteries have been (and continue to be) stimulated and broadened by his work.
The openness, honesty, vulnerability, and sincerity with which he has shared with all of us his experiences and the experiences of so many others has expanded my mind and my heart. I know that I am not alone.
I stand with you all in this time of trial, and those to come.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My name is Noah and I am a convert to the church. I often find myself feeling disconnected due to some of the feelings I have had regarding the LDS Church culture. I struggle with loving the church for it’s core but always feeling like there is other “stuff” that gets in the way of that focus. Your Dad’s/Husband’s website and podcast interviews has been a great resource for me to find a balance. I have been encouraged to know that I am not the only one feeling the way that I do and it has helped me find a better way to approach my differences. I did not grow up LDS and I have a lot of different perspectives and thoughts taht run through my mind and heart. It saddens me to see your family going throught his trial but I know the Lord is going to strengthen you and provide you with the grace you need. The mormon culture is being effected in a positive way and your dad is helping. There are so many people that are going through the motions of their faith while your Dad asks tough questions and digs deeper to truly strengthen those that are struggling with their faith.
Dear Dehlins,
I want to add my heartfelt thanks to you all and your dad. Your dad’s work has strengthened my faith and enabled me to stay in the church but most importantly, honed my focus on my ministry and mission in life, enlivened my soul, deepened my love and sensitivity to others, made my world bigger and more expansive, enriched my soul and edified my life. I am a Mormon; I am the CEO of a technology company; advanced degree holder, father of four, High Counselor and Institute teacher, former member of four Bishoprics and a passionate lover of my life and all those around me. I mention this profile to attempt a small personalization of who your dad’s work has impacted. I know I impact thousands directly in my stewardships; your dad’s work and courage and life as inspired me. While I hope the small minded, well intended, uninformed brothers and sisters of ours may inflict pain on you, I pray that you might hold fast and that your short term pain will be assuaged in the knowledge that your dad, even with some mistakes, has done magnificent life altering work. I love him; I am grateful for him and all of his ordinariness and extraordinariness. May the beauty, love and goodness of this world fill your souls, especially you, Margi; I believe this comes from God/Jesus through what we Mormons call the Holy Ghost. Whatever the source, to me it is palpable and real…..something is. I pray and will that you will feel it as I do writing this. These poor, fearful church leaders (and I believe it is only a few at very high levels) and their small fears will not prevail. Oh how I pray that John and Kate can stay.
With love and appreciation,
Paul
Last year I was going through a faith transition and Mormon Stories Podcasts helped me a lot through it. It was nice to not feel like I was alone in doubting, after I felt like I was strong in it and loved it.
Even though I resigned from the Church last September, I still believe in God. I continue to listen to Mormon Stories Podcasts. John’s love and support for the LGBT community is awesome.
I really appreciate all that he does and will continue to do. It truly means so much.
My thoughts and prayers of comfort and strength are with you guys at this time.
I met John before FB existed! Many years ago, I had been grappling to settle issues I’d had with the church my whole life, and I felt as if I was all alone and completely misunderstood, and perhaps a little bit crazy. I found the Mormon Stories podcasts and just listening to other people tell their stories was so comforting. It’s hard to describe how amazing it was to know that I was not not alone. I wasn’t crazy – just doubting, and it turns out that there’s a huge bunch of us out there!
John created a community that I became a big part of. My husband grew comfortable there and we had a safe space for which to figure things out. We supported each other through this tough transition, when our church leaders abandoned us. John threw me a lifeline when I needed one and pulled together an amazing group of people who I never would have otherwise met, and now consider family.
I think that John really understands the heart of Christianity – which is to love each other and to go after every single soul. Nobody should be thrown away or disregarded. The fact that he is receiving discipline from the church for actively trying to help people is completely disheartening. My thoughts and support are with you all.
LG
Dehlin Kids,
Just wanted to write and express my support and perhaps give you a reason to turn this on its head and be optimistic. When I was 11 my father was called to be the bishop of my local ward. He went directly from that calling into the local stake presidency and stayed there until I was out of high school and serving a mission. The result of this was that I felt like I was living under a microscope during my growing up years in a small Utah town where everyone knew of my father’s callings and service in the church. My point is that I think I have some idea of what it’s like to be viewed differently because of my father. I’m now in my early 30’s and to this day have not yet had anyone express to me how grateful they are for my father’s years of tireless service to the church or the impact he has had on their lives. While I’m sure he helped many, I am also left wondering if the cost of so often being away from my siblings and me was really worth it. Be proud of your Dad. He’s doing an amazing thing here and has helped countless people, including myself in navigating my own ongoing faith crisis. He’s a great man and I hope when you each reach your early 30’s you will all be able to look back and think that any pain or discomfort you experienced because of your father was absolutely worth it because he was sincerely serving and making an impact, not just fulfilling duties and acting in the way preferred by his church.
Thank you for your work and your courage.
You have made a difference in my life and softened hard things. You’ve even made me feel like maybe there is a place in the church for people like me. I believe you serve a vital role in the church and are an amazing example of a good earnest faithful man.
I am sorry to you and your family and pray you are met with nothing but love & care.
The LDS church was founded by a young boy who just wanted to know the truth for himself. This website is dedicated to the same. Through respectful sharing of ideas and doubts, people have decided to shed the shroud of the mass sheeple and look for truth themselves. There is something admirable about that.
My gratitude goes out to you and your family for providing a sanctuary for those seeking to open their minds and at least consider new ideas.
I pity those whose minds are so closed that they feel threatened by ideas shared here.
You wrote this way to his children? You are a vulgar and strange person.
Original post must have been removed.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I just wanted to express my extreme gratitude for the sacrifices you have all made. By the time I found OpenMormon/Mormon Stories, I felt like I understood what the church was, but dealing with that information has been a long and sometimes painful struggle. I feel that John’s honest efforts in seeking truth and sharing his candid experiences have not only helped me come to terms with my new world view, but also helped my wife in her own journey. Mormon Stories has been one of the resources that has kept my marriage together throughout this tribulation.
I am sorry for the pain that you are going through. I understand that in these cases the church excommunicates in order to disrepute character. It is an act of self-preservation when it cannot protect itself with a logical argument. John has been a great pioneer in truth, and as with most pioneers, the path is often challenging and requires sacrifice. Please know that those that have to travel your path appreciate the assistance and relief your sacrifice has provided.
Thank you with much love!
John,
My heart hurts hearing the news about you and the others. While we have plenty of differences, I actually happen to believe the sentiment from President Uchtdorf’s “Come, Join with Us” talk from a couple conferences ago. Whatever happens, there’s room for you in many of our lives. We can live, worship, and serve others side by side, whatever your relationship with the institutional church.
I just want you all to know that I have felt of your Dad’s/husbands goodness and love. I am pretty sure you are darned proud of him and you should be. I actually think he has saved peoples lives (literally) and helped people through serious emotional trauma of faith crisis. The God of all the universe is not in a box in the LDS church (of which, by the way, I am currently (for now) a member. May you find joy and peace in knowing he is a man of integrity and courage, true to himself.
As will all good endeavors and those who ‘drive’ them, there is usually an unseen, unsung support, in this case Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara and Winston. I am so sorry for the hard road you all have traveled (including John). I want to send you lots of love and hope for a positive reception in your community and strength to face whatever may lie ahead. Thank you for your strength, tenacity and the difference you have made through your support in literally thousands of lives.
Our family is praying for yours, John. You have given me hope helped me stay in the church when there was nowhere else I could go. If the worth of souls is great, then the many you’ve saved must be a great credit to you!
Your kids should be proud of the values you are teaching them. Always stand for themselves, speak their mind with respect, be critical thinkers, have their own opinion about things. I was raised catholic, went to a private catholic school and always questioned a lot of things, the nuns didn’t like me, but I didn’t let that affect the way I thought. As the years and experiences passed by I learned a lot about life. I married a guy who was raised in the Mormon church and was never aloud to question anything, he always thanks me for having had opened his eyes to the world, see things from different perspectives and be free to have an opinion about different topics without feeling any guilt or shame. I am 41 now and have been an atheist for about 18. I am very happy with myself, I feel free because I am my genuine me. My husband was ex-communicated from the LDS church in his 20’s before I met him for what I think were ridiculous reasons, he was just living the life as every kid in his 20’s does, nothing bad, but they make him feel very ashamed and persuaded him he needed to resign. We met, fell in love and got married. Then his family moved heaven and earth to try to convert me. I was told many things, dragged into meetings with their bishop and relief society president, but nothing made me stumble. This irritated them deeply and my husband and I moved away from all that. They managed to still intervened in our lives, and almost destroyed our marriage, but we stayed truth to what we thought. My husband got re-baptized about 6 years ago, just to please his family, but had not been active at all. We are raising our two children with no religion, but with real love and respect for people. Morals have nothing to do with religion. They are very compassionate, caring, loving and happy children and they show and reflect all the values we teach them everywhere they go. They are free thinkers and move freely in this world. It is sad though that my mother in-law still doesn’t accept us the way we are and clearly shows a preference for the other grandchild who is a mormon from head to toe. It is her loss. It will be the church’s loss if they removed you and your family from it. I do not know you, but I can tell you are good people, you are teaching good things to your kids, it is OK to question things, either to re-affirm or move on from something. There is nothing wrong with being a thinker, having your own opinion, analyze things, start from scratch to find your own understanding of life and who we are. If you are happy and you are not hurting anybody in your path keep going, those people you meet on your way will be happy too. Only the blind will step away.
John and family, I am a woman in my 60s, a convert at age 19, and a faithful, serving member. I have married children, two of whom have left the Church (and others with deep questions), mainly due to problems with historicity. In order to understand their issues, I started listening to podcasts less than two years ago, beginning with the interview with Terryl Givens. I have learned so much and have gained a greater, although altered, testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ through outstanding podcasts with such strong and faithful members as Terryl and Fiona Givens, Richard Bushman, Phil Barlow, Margaret Young and other scholars who know many of the idiosyncrasies and inconsistencies and yet choose to remain active and participating. Although this may feel like a rocky path, I think that much good and more transparency in the Church will come from this exposure. I have struggled with questions and doubts in the past and didn’t have an avenue to pursue answers until I discovered Mormon Stories, Mormon Matters and A Thoughtful Faith. I’m afraid that many who don’t understand or haven’t been exposed to your podcasts will judge you unfairly and out of ignorance. May God bless you all with peace and comfort in this ordeal. May the brethren be guided by the spirit and do the right thing and take the option of no action.
I just listened all afternoon to ‘397-399: John Dehlin and Faith Reconstruction’, completely convinced it was recently recorded and shared on date 12 june 2014. I thought: Wow! He is completely back into the church. I only found out that the date was of 2013, when I tried to open the link to ‘A Thoughtful Faith’, that gave an error-page.
Yesterday I wrote the following piece but considered it too long, but as you see: waiting a day doesn’t make it any shorter. So, I better copy ‘n paste it, before I wait a day and make it an endless story !
Dear John, Margy and family,
John, I just learned about your website a couple of months ago. You brought so much information, knowledge, recognition and comfort in my life. I left church and got excommunicated in 1989. I had become member in the 70’s due to the missionary work of The Osmonds. Btw did anybody ever tell you you resemble Donny in the expressions of your face ? I hardly see Mormons here on tv in Holland, except for one: Donny Osmond ! And he and his brothers led me to the church. I missed the church badly after I left, but had to face it was not my place. Your website, along with MFH and OW, brought the church back in to my life: I was back ! Now enjoying the talents of a Donny look-a-like, the circle is round !
I enjoyed it to know that you went to church with your family. If you could do it, maybe I could do it again one time, too ! And reading now that you can get excommunicated is such a slap in the face: if you are not allowed to be there, there is no place for me either.
Dear family, John is doing nothing wrong ! You probably know about The Plan of Salvation ? And learned about how Jesus plan was chosen: we would get a free will ! And we wouldn’t be forced, like the plan of Satan, to walk neatly in a row back to heaven. No, Jesus gave us our free will, a very necessary tool to learn and grow. And He gave us The Iron Rod, the church, so, we keep our vision focussed on returning back to our Heavenly Parents. And within this frame of church should be place for free will and learn and grow through experiences, as Jesus Plan was set up. I don’t know why the church teaches Jesus’ delightfull Plan, but don’t walk their talk ? Instead they want to force everyone within the frame of church with their nose into one direction: no learning through experience, but neatly walking down the path, according to the plan of Satan: I will bring every one back by force. A plan that was rejected in Heaven, but now forced upon the Children of God that are members of Jesus’ Church.
I believe we all come to earth for a reason, with a task. Our free will and following the yearning in our heart will bring us into experiences that teaches us what we need to learn to fullfill our task. Going to the church should bring us into a place where we think about our choices and ask for guidance, and to keep Jesus Plan in mind and find strength and comfort when the road of experiences is getting tough and hard. Jesus didn’t say it would be easy to have a free will, but we would have most benefit of it, to prepare us on the future back with our Heavenly Parents.
John is doing nothing wrong ! He is celebrating Jesus gift of life by learning through choices made by free will that will lead him into experiences that will give him insights and knowledge that he will use for the benefit of all ! Read the messages here and read what he already brought into the life of many, as comfort and not feeling alone anymore ! He is walking the path he should walk. How come the church leaders can be against him ? I think it’s them that need repentance instead of having a hard judgement on John, Kate and others. Narrowmindedness is not one of Jesus great capicities, why than are church leaders so much into practising it ?
I want to share some songs from Keith Green:
Website for the lyrics: https://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/keith_green
This one for comfort for you and as a lesson in Jesus’ Love for the church leaders:
Your Love Broke Through – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h89-3_kIRDA
And if the church-leaders do not understand Jesus’ Love,
let ‘m reconcider their behaviour with this song:
Asleep In The Light – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXb45UTUFWU
And if they still don’t get it:
The Sheep And The Goats – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Exr3GK_8kbU
The church was not meant to be a place for patriarchal idleness. Jesus brought back the feminine touch* of life while He was on earth, while the Jews were lost in patriarchal blindness. Looks like history repeats itself. (*Rianne Eisler: ‘The Chalice and the Blade)
John, thank you for shining Jesus Love and Light on earth. It’s so unbelieveble you can get excommunicated, while the church lack these talents so badly already. Dear family, you are so blessed to have John around ! No matter what the church does, nothing changes. Jesus will love and guide John and you. And I hope and pray, that maybe one day, the church will see the light and become the place Jesus had in mind. Away from the rules, away from the unforgiveness, away from the eagerness to cut and depart. May you know you are childeren of God, live your life of free will and the road you have to follow, to experience and learn the lessons for the benefit of all ! May God bless you and comfort you in these hard days !
Peace,
Adrie de Jong
Dehlin family,
I have listened to John’s Mormon stories since I read an article about doubting Mormons in New York times. What a great journey it has been! I am not a Mormon, but John’s podcast has deepened up my understanding of life and religion in general! I want to thank John for his courage and curiosity. You are doing the right thing, John.
I am sorry to hear about the way you guys have had to go through this. My parents were excommunicated from the church recently in a very unloving way and it was made public to their ward, and stake and the rumors that went around were hurtful, and unbelievable. The gossip was unreal and I couldn’t believe how members of the church, the church I grew up in, where I thought we were taught to be loving to all of God’s children, were so cruel. The stake president went so far as to try and have my father fired from his job because the company he worked for did a lot of work for the church. Watching the leadership of the church, even the first presidency, treat my family like this was really hard for me. I feel for you and your children, and wish you well.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Five years ago I was going through one of the most painful moments of my life because of a transition of faith as I learned about difficult issues in the church’s doctrine and history through my own research. I tried talking to LDS church leadership, other members, and my family, but largely felt alone due to the difficult nature of talking about questions of faith. In many ways I felt like my world was falling apart, even though I had a great career being developed and a supportive and loving wife and children. At that time John had given a podcast that offered an open door for people that were struggling with doubts about the church to reach out to him. I sent an email, and his response was a personal phone call that lasted several hours, followed by several months of email dialogue that helped me immensely. At a time when I was ready to leave the church, his wisdom and love touched my soul in a way that changed my decision and lifted me out of a dark place. Your father is a person that truly loves and cares for people, sometimes people that are thousands of miles away with no prior connections. His work with Mormon Stories has been one of truth and love that has helped thousands of people. Regardless of the outcome of the church court, hold your heads high because you have a great man in your family!
I want to ditto this comment… My mom told me this morning about my favorite podcast guy. How disappointing. John has found educated church historians & leaders in the church to talk about issues that have plagued my testimony for years. I have received tainted answers from my church leaders about my important questions. Since my mission at the Joseph Smith Memorial- 1990 I have received incorrect answers like the Blood of Ham (blacks & priesthood)- immoral thoughts -premortal sins (prop 8)- no mason in temple endowment- & temple penalties- no hat & seer stone ect. John interviewed the most knowledgeable people to educate us on the difficult questions strengthening my testimony through deeper understanding & the spirit. Its heartbreaking when I feel you have always encouraged us to hang in there & stay in church- if this church is lead by revelation you would be praised not shunned… Fear has replaced love- I believe many people will leave the church in suport of you. You changed my life & gave me spiritual insight & understanding. Your family will be in my prayers.
Dear Dehlin family,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for all of the sacrifices you’ve made to allow your dad to strengthen those of us who doubt, who have concerns, who need hope.
I served a full-time mission, taught in the MTC, was in the YW stake presidency, in the RS. presidency, taught gospel doctrine, taught RS, and taught in Primary. The entire time I struggled with doubts mostly caused by the weakness of people in leadership positions. I believe that the “church discipline” your dad faces is yet another example of (probably well-meaning) people in leadership messing up big time. I think anyone who stops and looks at it sincerely would conclude that Jesus would do no such thing.
Hang in there! There are many people (including me) praying for you and rooting for you right now.
Dear Dehlin Family –
John Dehlin and his Mormon Stories podcasts have been a life-saver for me. After 35 years as a true believing Mormom, it was devastating for me to uncover the underbelly of the Church to which I had dedicated my life. My search for truth has spanned 8 years and led me on a long hard path, where the source of meaning in my life has been severely challenged.
I needed to talk about these things, to sort them out, but found very few I could talk to, without negatively affecting their faith, which I refused to do. But I did meet with my home teachers, bishop, stake president, and an LDS author, and wrote to the apostle that had conferred the Melchizedek Priesthood on me back in 1975… all to no avail.
There seemed to be no place or person to whom I could turn and I thought I was losing my mind, until I found the Mormon Stories podcasts and realized that I was not alone, that there were thousands of other Mormons who were struggling like I was. They were reasonable people and the thoughtful and honest commentary in those interviews was helpful and healing. I found great inspiration (e.g. Terryl Givens) and great criticism (e.g. Grant Palmer), but both helped me to better understand the reality of Church doctrine and history; and helped me to realize that I was not losing my mind.
I have less trouble with the more colorful, unsanitized version of LDS history than I do with the fact that the Church has worked hard to bury it, and to denigrate those that refer to it, now includinmg John. After listening to many, many podcasts hosted by John, I consider him to be an honourable man, sincere in his search for truth and in his desire to help others that are troubled by what they find (including me). Thank You.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I just learned of this news item this evening, and am heart struck at it. For years, like others on this post (like Tony in the message above), there were many things that I learned through church apologists that just simply did not add up. I wanted to have the un-spun truth, just the simple truth from official church sources, but could not even find links on lds.org or other official site that even addressed some of these topics.
One of my friends in Virginia introduced me to John’s podcasts, and I thought – Finally, SOMEONE is actually dealing with the truth!! I found the range of persons on the podcasts helpful to me in my faith crisis. At the same time, I marveled that John, even with all the knowledge that he has on the matters, elected to stay in the church. For that reason, I remained in church for now, though an isolated person in purgatory in Utah County, struggling with thoughts of suicide, and no self worth for the inability to deal with the deceptions I had been taught my many decades in the church. It was being able to listen to people like John and those that he interviewed that gave me hope that one day I could arrive at a truthful decision.
Last year, the Church actually attempted to deal with a few issues and posted a few articles dealing with some of the issues – polygamy, blacks, etc. – but still without full disclosure or dealing with things still difficult. For instance, you will not find “polyandry” when searching official sites at all. The apologists have ramped up publications vindicating the church/leaders in all accounts, but their details are frustrated or not supported by their own research – or that of credible others. It is the work of John and people like him that are forcing the church to be more honest in dealing with these things, at least in some small measure. They will, however, protect the corporation of the church at all costs. If they deem that John is a detriment to their growth or continuance, they will cast him out whatever his personal consequences – the corporation will care for itself. I am sad that these is this response rather than increased honesty and openness about things. However, to be fair, some of the remaining issues are so problematic for the church that honest dealing with them would result in multitudes leaving. So, for them, losing one man and a few of his friends is statistically better for the organization than full honest disclosure of things. Too bad. It might come home to haunt them in the long run.
Well, be at peace, John. You have done an admirable work here. I hope that you will continue your efforts in this field – it is so desperately needed by so many like me. Please take heart that this work has been done in a time of great need, and has served many people in keeping hope in their hearts. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
I don’t know your dad, and haven’t listened to his podcasts, but we know about and appreciate his work in our neck of the woods. Don’t worry about what other people think. For every person who might feel unkindly about things, there is another who has enough in his or her cup to extend understanding to you.
For each who feel the raging storm have also a surety of its passing.
Just know we stand with you.
Just wanted to echo this…there are ppl all over devastated by the move to call a disciplinary council. Here in Cambridge, MA we’re praying for the church leaders to be guided by love rather than the spirit of fear that the squashing of conversation and dissent represents.
John Dehlin, I have wanted to write you for a long time. Your projects have played a major factor in me being able to remain in the church. Your podcasts, interviews, and writing online helped me through a particularly rough time in my life when I was seriously doubting everything I knew to be ‘the truth.’ Your willingness to be honest about doubts have liberated me to do the same — I feel so much more at peace with all of life’s ambiguity now. Thank you for having the bravery to do it. I stand by you and your family. I CLAIM YOU – You represent the brand of Mormonism that I want to be apart of. Thank you for all you have sacrificed so that I can feel a sense of community and peace.
Long time reader, first time poster – I can’t even express the pain I feel for you and your family right now. If anyone kept me sane and LDS, it was you and the other contributors to sites like yours. You all made me feel like it was OK to be who and where I am in the gospel. It made my journey less scary because I knew there was a place for me and my questions and my thoughts and my liberal politics…
To your children — my own father has been excommunicated twice over a grievous sin (he actually did deserve to be ex’d – I do understand your dad did nothing wrong, which makes this such a tragedy for you)… People will treat you differently, it’s embarrassing and it feels unfair, but you will survive it and you will learn some hard lessons, and you will find out who your real friends are. No matter the outcome, you will survive this and you will be OK… I’ve been through it and it changed me for the better even though it was rough at times… Just keep swimming and smiling and loving each other, it WILL be OK. {{{hug}}}
Dear Dehlin Tribe, I hope that my little comment and all these hundreds of others will serve to remind you of the beautiful and inspiring work that John has done. Mormon Stories has been a resource and a refuge for so very many people, and without a loving supportive family I don’t think John could have gotten very far on such a daunting and, I’m sure at times, frustrating task. Keep your chins up, and soldier on; we are with you ever step.
Dear Clara & Winston & Dehlin Family,
Your husband/father John is a bonafide hero. His committment to helping those who struggle in the LDS faith is a monument of integrity, worthy of our highest esteem. Sadly, iconoclastic heroes suffer persecution where not merited, sacrifice where not required, and infamy where not deserved. Please understand that the pain you may endure as a consequence of his valiance will only in time make your glory the brighter.
John,
I applaud you for taking responsibility and acknowledging that your decisions have led to this weeks events. You asked a few months ago for your name to be removed from church records, and for people from the church not to contact you. I understand that, and that is your choice, however your wife and children STILL have their choice too. They don’t have to be alienated from the church as you imply, or subjected because the choices YOU have made. Just because you believe one thing, doesn’t mean they have to agree. I know it’s tough as a parent and spouse to believe differently, but they on their own should have the chance to figure out for themselves what they want and what they feel God truly wants from them. If they still want to believe, attend church and be friends with those who are members they should be allowed to freely choose as well. Yes, it is possible even where you live. Joseph Smith never said we should fear others, or other religions, or shield our children from them. Rather the exact opposite. That we should learn from everything that is out there. At least give them credit as they’re abiding by your wishes, to have your name formally removed. I hope you will be able to find what you are looking for and keep a personal relationship with God. I hope you allow your wife and children to do the same. All the best to you and your family.
Dear Family of John and John, I am also saddened by the events of past few days. My decision to leave the fold (though not “officially”) five years ago has been one of the best choices for my family. They have a much happier and settled mom and wife. My husband is still very much active. My daughter, Caitrin, and I are honored to know and know of you. I know Caitrin has reached out to you, Maya, and please know of her admiration for you and she will never speak ill of you or your family. Margi, you have a husband who was willing to go “deeper still” as the Bible says, having all the “right answers” wasn’t enough. He desires to be changed by what he knows. Your journey ahead is not for the weak. I salute you! If you need a friend, Margi, I will be there.
Dear Dehlin family,
Please know that John’s honesty, compassion, and fundamental goodness have meant a great deal to so many people. I am not even a Mormon, but I’ve listened to almost every episode, and it’s helped me deal with doubts and difficulties in my own faith tradition. Thank you for supporting him.
I have only just now come across your fathers work. I am a 41 year old woman that was disfellowshiped quite some time ago because of my actions and honesty. I would not change a thing about my life choices, I would change many things about the process I went through with the Mormon church, but that is neither here nor there. I want to thank your father for his bravery. I wish I could console you, as a family, in some way for any pain or alienation that his actions cause you. A voice for change, when change is needed, is a beautiful thing. Stand up straight. Know that you are of great value and loved.
Dear Mr. Dehlin and Family,
I have listened to many of your podcasts, and have grown closer to Heavenly Father. I have always felt that you were actually “CALLED” by the Father to do this work. I’m praying with all I have that you stay a member of the LDS church. If you don’t, whoever has caused this are W-R-O-N-G!!!!!!! They better NEVER come across my Operating Room (I’m an OR nurse) table–they won’t wake up with everything they went to sleep with! I hope to meet you someday.
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. So many of us stand in love and support with you. I am from Logan, UT, and I know it can be a wonderful place. It can also be a difficult place to be when you stand out. Just know that there are so many who send you love at this time, with much gratitude for what your father has done and is doing, and much gratitude for you and the sacrifices that you have made and make on his behalf.
To Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, and Winston,
Your husband/ father gave me the fourm to explore Mormon issues when I was plagued by doubt. It is due to Mormon Stories that I am now happy with the Mormon faith. True, I am not fully orthodox, but I have faith in the restoration and that God speaks to me through the language of Mormonism. Religious revalutioneraries have never faired well in history. Buddha was poisoned, Jesus Christ was declared a blasphamor by the High Priest of the temple and sentenced to death by Pontius Pilate, Martin Luther was excommunicated for challenging indulgences in the Catholic Church, Ghandhiwas killed for his peaceful revolution, and Joseph Smith is still hated by many in mainstream Christianity for challenging several of its “sacred” and “infalliable” doctrines. The reality is an institution is most powerful when people stay in line and is threatened when one of its members speaks out loud that he has doubts and others start to listen. John Dehlin did something that the LDS Church has never attempted to doand that was to create a support network to help Mormons navigate a crisis of faith. John Dehlin would not have been succesful if the LDS Church had taken the initiative upon themselves. Your husband/father is a hero to thousands of Mormons and I will keep him and all of you in ky prayers over the next several weeks.
God bless you all and keep you safe.
Aaron Hart
John has made a unique place here at Mormon Stories where all of us who have felt alone or marginalized in our Mormonism have been able to come and feel welcome. Ultimately my little family and I left the church and are very happy with our decision. I believe that John Dehlin and his work on Mormon Stories is the primary reason we don’t feel bitterness, hostility and resentment towards the church. It’s hard to maintain those feelings right now, when the church is doing such an injustice to your family. I am so sorry. You are brave people.
I want to send you my support, John. I struggled with my doubts until a YSA Q&A fireside where Bednar publicly rebuked told me to put a sincere question on the shelf. A little later I had an overnight epiphany that I didn’t have a testimony anymore. I was devastated and I was angry. Around that time I discovered your podcast and over the last couple of years it had helped transition me out of anger to acceptance of my upbringing and pioneer heritage. I will send you a small donation so you can continue to help Mormons that painfully find themselves on the outside
It is hard to believe this story. We are all God’s children and we are all loved byHim regardles of our religion or orientation. I am a non mormon protestant and am reading your faith decision in disbelieve.
As far as your family they should never loose their faith in God. He is all that counts.
Well if there is no place for you there is no place for me. I may follow you out the door. Kids, your dad is a hero!
I haven’t been to church in over a decade. I came across the Mormon Stories podcast about a month ago. I have been obsessively listening since. I am hoping to be a father for the first time soon. John’s testimony, as well as most guests on the program, of the emotional and spiritual benefits of raising a family in the church has really had a positive effect on me. The podcast has made me feel like i can possibly put aside all the intellectual issues i have with the church and raise my family in the lds faith. The lunch that John had with an apostle that told him explicitly “we want you in this church” was also really helpful to me, because i felt even if i didn’t have an intellectual testimony of the church’s value, i could have an emotional,and spiritual testimony of the church’s value to my family, and still be wanted.
That was all contradicted by hearing the news of this court. I am stunned. From what i know of John, I have a tremendous respect for him and i see a lot of myself in him. The leaders certainly seem to have drawn the line, and to me it is clear, if they don’t want him, then they don’t want me. I hope the Dehlin family the best through a difficult time.
Actions speaks louder than words. And yet we should not question or ask questions. What does the church have to hide that it reacts to the quest for more questions and church history including facts in such a negative way
John and http://www.www.mormonstories.org truly steered me away from suicide.
Male, 6th generation LDS born in the covenant, married in the temple
Please know that there many friends that weep with you today. I believe that the Savior is one of them. Wishing you love and peace.
To the Dehlin kids,
I was a much older person before I realized just how brave my father was. I always thought him a great man, but age and experience showed me just how wonderful he truly was. I believe you will have that same experience.
God bless you and your family
Dear Dehlin Family,
Father’s Day is this Sunday and I want you all to give your dad & husband a big hug from me! While you hug him I want you to think of all the people he has blessed and hug him extra tight for them. I can’t imagine how brave he must be to stand tall for truth. You all are being prayed for by many. I truely hope this is his best Fathers Day, ever!
I support him in all he does.
Thank You, John for asking the hard questions for all of us, whether Mormon or Exmormon.
Dehlin Family,
I feel so very very grateful for John’s work and willingness to put himself on the front line to help those like me and my husband who have been struggling with the historicity of the church and it’s doctrine. We felt very alone in our struggle before coming across the Mormon Stories podcast. I admire the integrity, compassion, and courage John has taken to help those in need. I realize that the sacrifices he has made have been your sacrifices as well. Thank you! Thank you for supporting him so people like my husband and I can feel a bit of peace while weathering through this storm. My hope is that all of you will be able to feel at peace no matter what the outcome may be. I love the saying “BElieve THEre is GOOD in the world.” You guys are the GOOD!
Comforting those that stand in NEED of comfort.
Glad to hear that your stake president is going to meet with you privately first. Hope that will be the end of it. Keep praying that you and your family won’t be harmed in any way.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I love and appreciate your Dad and want to thank him for all the good that he brings to the Mormon discourse. It is wonderful the way he has organized a large amount of knowledge at the click of a button.
I left the LDS Church over twenty years ago and have chosen instead The Way of the Tao, from this commentary by Robert G. Hicks we find words that I hope will bring you some peace:
“If you’re brave in daring, you’ll be killed;
If you’ve brave in not being daring, you’ll live.
With these two things, in one case there’s profit, in the other there’s harm.
The things Heaven hates – who know why?
The Way of Heaven is not to fight yet to be good at winning –
Not to speak yet skillfully respond –
No one summons it, yet it comes on its own –
To be at ease yet carefully plan.
Heaven’s net is large and vast;
Its mesh may be course yet nothing slips through.”
Lao-Tzu Te-Tao Ching
John,
You have been an inspiration to me! As a convert of 9 years I have had many struggles. Your stories and the information you provide has kept me moving forward. For so long I thought I had to be like everyone else, like a certain molded Mormon. You have helped me to see that I can be different, think different and STILL be an active member! I pray for you and your family and I pray that the church will not excommunicate you. You have helped my heart in so many ways!!!
John’s family, please know your father helped my brother come back to belief in the Church. Many years ago he drove from Logan to the south valley slc and spoke comfort to his suffering and doubts in a way that showed him very slowly back to full activity just in time to hear Apostle Uchdorf give his famous Oct 2013 address, in which he was assured he was welcome, even in his unorthodoxy. Also, Elder Holland spoke to mental health issues in that same confrence which touched him and many others who struggle likewise in this community. My prayer is these two Apostles with the Prophet Monson will step in and stop this foolishness towards your father. We have little precious time before the internet explodes a new truth struggle on the general membership, one that can only be stemmed with the support of all the faithful members who went through the Lords refiners fire within the podcast efforts found here.
The Dehlin family,
I am so grateful to you and your wonderful father and husband for the sacrifice and service you have given me through Mormon Stories. I was in a very dark place struggling to understand how the church could be so dishonest about it’s history when I stumbled upon this website. I feel that it saved my sanity and possibly my life. I believe that what brought all this about after so many years is probably the Sandra Tanner podcasts. The church has been trying to shut her up for decades and your interviews probably really angered them. John, I hope that whatever the outcome, that you don’t let the church dictate to you what you can believe and that you can continue the good work that you do. Thank you so much for your dedication to the truth.
I was born 3rd of 8 children in very Mormon family. Mark E Peterson was the officiator at my parents temple marriage. When I was a temple married mother of 5 children in my 40’s, I fell in love with a woman. For the next 15 years I struggled with what that meant in my life as well as my church. I have now been married to that woman for the past 5 years and I am so happy with my decisions. John’s work Mormon Stories and his passion for the Mormon LGBT community has touched me deeply for years. I hope you will always be proud of his work as his wife and children. I hope the pain of this time fades quickly. Thanks for sharing your husband/dad.
Dehlin family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time. Please know that John’s work has helped me immensely. I feel a huge debt of gratitude for the sacrifices that you’ve ALL made.
Hoping for the best,
Marc
Dehlin family: Your father is a great resource for members of the Church who have been troubled by the manner in which the LDS Church provides “faithful history” to its members in preference to factual history. For members who have sacrificed all their lives for this Church to come into contact with factual history that they cannot refute is quite a painful experience. The Church should provide good resources for those deeply troubled. After all, the Church created the trouble. But, the Church does not provide these resources, and local leaders are often unaware of the issues that trouble the church member troubled in this way.
I am very grateful for the thoughts that John has shared online, and the interviews that he has provided on Mormon Stories. For those (like myself) who love the Gospel, love the Church, but hates some of the things it does, it is a real struggle to stay active in the Church, and to support it financially. Obviously, the resources John has provided do not make the issues go away, but they do make the burden easier to bear. He has been a source of comfort to me, and – I think you can see – to so, so many others. You have every right to be proud of him. You really do.
I am really sorry that this church we love so much cannot think of a better way to deal with loyal, troubled members than to threaten them with excommunication. The Church has had 184 years to figure out what to do with John Dehlin, and this is the best it can do????? Think about it. People who claim no spiritual gifts could do better than that, given 184 years to prepare!!!!
Dear John and Family,
While you may feel the pain and discomfort from this situation, God will protect, and bless you 10 fold. Everyone knows the LDS church has historical issues which MUST ultimately be addressed. They cannot hide these things forever. You are serving a purpose my friend, you are playing a vital part in turning a massive ship in the right direction. And God will protect and honor this.
Stand tall and firm, and know that thousands of like-minded Chrsitians support you and are praying for your family. The LDS church is wrong for these recent actions against you, and it will backfire on them. Keep the faith, always looking forward, and never behind you.
Sincerely,
Bill Vaughan
Oak Ridge, NC
After hearing you on NPR and reading your essay ….it was the first time I didn’t feel alone! I am more than sorry that you are going through this, but our prayers are with you! Thank you for your extreme sacrifice!
Dear Mr. Dehlin: I praise you for your courage and your willingness to place reason and intellectual honesty above dogma. Your church is pressuring you to submerge your reason and still your voice under penalty of excommunication. The Catholic Church did exactly the same thing to Galileo when he defied church teaching about the earth’s place in the universe by declaring the sun to be the center of the solar system, not the earth. They threatened him the same way and Galileo was forced to recant and spent the remainder of his life under house arrest. It seems we haven’t come very far, have we? At the time, burning at the stake was a real possibility and make no mistake, if it were not for modern secular laws, the church fires would still be blazing. Yours is the light of reason, may it never be extinguished.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Don’t let the Church leaders discurage you. I guess they think they are doing the lords work but sadly it is all about politics. Support eachother and always be open, that is what helped us in our big family.
/Hans
To the Dehlin family:
I don’t know your father personally. But he has affected me for the better. Since high school, I have had so many questions regarding the church. I learned that it was okay to ask these questions because of people like your husband and father. And as a result, I feel a little bit lighter every Sunday, because I know Mormons like him exist.
Press on! Your sacrifices are worth the world to me and others like me! And I’ll be praying for you!
A R Vapor
To your children:
I love your father because I know his intent is to love those who feel outside the system. I truly believe that God judges the intent of our heart. When your dad stands before the judgement bar of Christ, there will be many there to stand as witnesses on his behalf. I will be one. I am a straight member of the church. Raised six kids in the church who are active, went on missions and married in the temple. I hope you will keep those goals. It’s been very hard for me dealing with church history issues being 61 and being taught by those who whitewashed the facts. I believe there are literally 10’s of thousands of people like myself praying for your family. I’m afraid I would not have the courage of your father. I was cut down and threatened too many times for speaking out. It hurt my family when I did and my kids think I’m a bit of a nut for taking a stand for others who also had no voice. What really counts is to know God is on your side right now. I can feel it and my eyes are wet with tears on your behalf.
Remember God is on your side !!!!
Love you,
Your Brother,
Glenn Allen
Thank you for your willingness to speak about difficult issues. I was raised mormon and first began to have doubts a few years ago at the age of 16 when I became aware of church historical issues. The biggest struggle for me was not necessarily the historical issues, but it was that I felt like I was being lied to and deceived. I now go to one of the top law schools in the nation and I have learned that debate and open discussion is the only way to confirm beliefs. If there are difficult issues then these are things we need to talk about. It is not okay to ignore them. I am in deep gratitude that you have provided an avenue over the years for honest discussion. It should never be frowned upon to ask questions. If the church does take disciplinary action against you then I will have severe trouble coming to terms with the thought of kicking people out for asking questions. Your discussions and transparency keep people like me in the church, it does not drive people away from it.
Thank You
This latest development has really affected me. I think the reason I’m taking it so personally is that I identify very closely with John. I am a lifelong member, former missionary, bishopric, etc and became very interested in the history of the church after my wife and I married. After discovering some very big questions about church history with no convincing answers, I became very frustrated and depressed. I love the church and the Saviour and all my family for many generations have been proud members, but it was Johns website that helped me to look at my faith through new eyes.
Excommunication for John means excommunication for everyone like him, in the form of a clear message from the church that people like him, which means me too, have no place in the church. I currently serve in a stake calling and can tell you that were we live we are losing our youth and returned missionaries in greater numbers than ever before. The internet will destroy the church unless we allow for people at all levels of faith to participate.
Thank you John for your courage. May the Lord bless you and your family.
I agree with this message. Brother Dehlin (along with his supportive family) have helped me see the gospel in different views. I think Brp. Dehlin is bringing forth a more fullness of the gospel. Excommunication is NOT the answer, encouragement is. Thanx for all you have done for us–Bro. Dehlin and his family for sharing with the world. You are in everyone’s prayers, and on the temple prayer rolls.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Once I became aware that your Dad was facing this situation, I was heart sick. Mormon Stories podcasts have been truly enlightening and although I have not listened to them all, I have enjoyed the ones I have heard. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don’t. But I am grateful to your Dad for taking the time to share with us the information and the interviews that challenge us to think.
I have had to learn about what it means to have a member of my family who is gay, and how he does not fit in the Mormon church. Yet, Mormon Stories has given me such hope when all I felt for a very long while was deep despair and painful loss. I don’t know if I will ever find all the answers to my questions because in my case, God seems to take a very long time to give me answers. However, I know in a couple of situations he has comforted me and I received a very clear witness that he was aware of me.
I pray that He is comforting you all too at this time. I believe He is there, and I hope you can feel his love. Be proud of your Dad because I for one truly believe he loves The Lord and wants the very best for his family.
I always believed the Church was for people who were honestly searching for the truth and to provide a path for us to return to Our Heavenly Father. I believe your Dad is an honest man with great courage and has only been on a path to search for truth. I hope others believe that too.
Wishing the best for your family, may you always find peace, love, and may your hearts be comforted.
With deepest gratitude, Rebecca
First sentence of the second paragraph should be “I have learned what it means to have a member of my family who is gay, and how he does not feel he can fit in the Mormon Church.
If you husband and dad is the bad guy, there is no hope for humanity. Stand by him, love him, and follow his example. In the end, it’s all about FAMILY. Don’t let this organization eventually force you to choose between church and FAMILY (like they did with Kate’s parents). Good luck, stay positive, and remember what is most important.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I have been listening to these podcasts for about a year now. I have never posted before, but wanted my gratitude to be known.
The first podcast I listened to was of a wife telling about her husband leaving the church while she chose to remain faithful. I had NEVER heard anyone talk about this openly before. Even in my own family and close circle of friends it is sometimes like the elephant in the room that cannot be talked about. My husband has always been on the fringes of the church while I would be considered a valiant and faithful member. It has been a complicated struggle and numerous times I have had to choose my husband over the church. Anyway, that podcast spoke to me like nothing else ever has. I could have spoken every word of it myself. I finally felt like I was not the only one. It was sheer relief! I also realized that there were probably many more people in the church who varied in their beliefs and experiences and that I didn’t need to feel so strange anymore with my situation. Although that is easier said than done.
Many of John’s podcasts have been the only voice of reason I have found in the Mormon world. I still listen and am also still a pretty faithful member, dragging my husband and two kids along with me. Many weeks it is hard. I hope you will find people who will support and understand your situation and empathize instead of judge. These are my prayers for your family. And that John can stay in the church membership because he is needed!
One last thought. Eternity is right now, not some future thing. I have had to grasp the goodness that is right before me many times. (Namely keeping my family together rather than giving up on my husband for the church). We shouldn’t have to choose.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Hang in there! Your dad is a brave and honest man who has made a huge difference in my life. I have been able to stay in the church because of the support I receive through his podcasts. His calm and thoughtful approach has helped me through the darkest hours of my faith crisis. I pray things go well for your father, because I don’t want to raise my children in a church that would expel a man of such obvious courage and character. Hang in there and be proud of your father and what he has accomplished. There may be those who will not understand, but those of us who do stand with your family and send you our love.
Dehlin family,
Your dad/husband is one of my heroes. He has amazing courage and integrity. A scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants comes to mind when I think about all that John has done:
“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.”
Hello Dehlin Family–
I left the church several years ago. This resulted in me divorcing my husband. He stayed in the church, but also is not a nice person. He also maligned me to my children, made me look bad because I left the church. Had I not left, I would have been excommunicated because I no longer believed in church doctrines and was starting to speak openly about it.
I don’t have thousand of followers supporting me. I fight the battle to see my children alone. I fight to keep my sanity in a world that is upside down alone. Divorce is a sad thing, but the split in my family due to differences in faith is downright wrong. That split can happen with our without divorce. The person who uses religious differences to cause more separation and strife, is not a person who is about love.
I am telling you to choose love.
I don’t know what to say, except that your father/husband has been a light in a tunnel for me for the past few years, especially the last 2 years, as my decision to take in a disabled MALE family friend and try to help him and keep him from becoming homeless. The work John does has been crucial to my sanity, has helped me feel that I”M ok, and most of the church members are too, but a few, some of whom happen to be leaders, happen to still live in th 19th century. I guess out here in Snohomish, Washington the church is much more liberal than where you are, so I’m sorry for any disapproval you will have to feel. Just remember, that for every one person disapprove, there are at least 2 or 3 on your side, who do approve, very much, and want to thank you for all the years you have supported and loved John as he has done that work which has helped so many of us, and I’m SURE SAVED LIVES.
I know that you, his family, his wife and children, standing behind John, is what has given him the strength and energy to do everything he has done in the past 9 years, which is amazing! That means you guys are AMAZIING! You are the glue that holds everything together, his family.
Thank you for loving and supporting, and doing whatever you’ve had to do to keep yourselves sane and still support John. I am so sorry for the pain I am sure these latest actions have caused you guys, as well as John. It isn’t fair you should have go through this, that anyone should have to.
I will continue to pray for all of you, as will thousands of others.
With Love, Fran
Hi John and everyone on this site,
I wanted to share with you a letter I wrote to the Salt Lake Tribune, because we need you.
Losing John Dehlin and others like him would be tragic for the church.
A former student of mine once turned in a writing assignment, in which he outed himself as having same sex attraction. He was responding to a news article on bullying, and had experienced more than his share. Because of the type of school where I teach, this is actually not uncommon, but this student’s anguish needs to be shared. When I told him that a person’s goodness had noting to do with genetic traits that determine sexuality, he was floored. He had been repeatedly taught by society and members of his church that having same sex attraction made him a creature to loathe; something evil to be hated.
I do not assume that this teaching was intentional, but it was real. Mormonism needs heroes like John Dehlin, who will stand up for those who are marginalized, and work as Christ did to strengthen all.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I too appreciate the work your husband and father has done to promote thought, understanding, and comfort for many of us who think and ask questions beyond correlated teachings. I pray for you all and hope that some good and some progress will still come of what may now look totally negative. The story of Joseph sold into Egypt, physically removed from his family, gives me comfort knowing that in the end God’s purposes were fulfilled.
God bless you in all your efforts and sacrifices.
Allie Harris
I too am a long time reader and listener, first time poster – I too do not have the words to express the richness and depth of understanding and purpose implied by the term “body of Christ” that I have gained from topics, discussions and dialogue you have bravely initiated, fostered and shared.
I know that you have helped many of us who love the Gospel but struggle with the some of the institutional culture and actions, feel like we can stay engaged. As someone earlier posted Mormon Stories have made me feel that is okay for me to be who I am and where I am in the gospel and the same is true for the person on the pew next to me.
To you, your wife and children thank you. You are all in my prayers, in my thoughts.
I believe Julian of Norwich was right,
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”
I won’t share details publicly, but Mormon Stories and other podcasts and communities that have resulted from it are significantly responsible for the continued strength of my marriage. My wife and I have been able to love and support each other completely through the trials of faith crisis thanks in a large degree to the examples modeled for us in Mormon Stories interviews and discussions. I am not in the pews alone every Sunday thanks to your husband and father. Thank you for sharing him with me.
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am so sorry that you are hurting. I hope that this trial will reveal who your true friends and supporters are. Anyone who would ridicule, shun, or criticize during this difficult time doesn’t understand what we are taught about mourning with those that mourn and comforting those in need of comfort.
I’m not sure how I would feel if I was in your situation, but I admire your dad/husband for having the courage to speak his mind and create a community for those that feel alone, pushed aside, and unloved. I admire the time, effort, and determination your dad/husband has shown to ensure that those who question have a place in the church and remain part of the body of Christ.
I raise my voice with others in support of your dad/husband and I pray that our leaders’ hearts will be softened. No matter what happens I am convinced that your family will never be broken.
With love,
Charla Willian
Margi, Anna, Maya, Clara, Winston
I’m so sorry to hear of these possible proceedings with your husband/father. I grieve with you. I’m heartbroken. I’m praying that it all does indeed go away. I’m sorry you each have to face the effects of this time. I hope and pray it will strengthen you each and as a family. I hope it is a refining fire and I hope you each feel confident hopeful and have the strength and courage to carry on and live well. The situation does not seem right. I’m so sorry John is caught in the midst of it all. He seems to me to be a deeply loving and good hearted man with a deep conviction for love and justice–especially for all Mormons. I hope for deep blessings of peace to be upon you all through this time. I stand with John and with Kate.
John & family,
I found out about church history issues several months ago and it crushed me. I couldn’t understand why an organization that I loved so much would hide so much from me. I am going through the healing process now – outside of the church. Even though I am firmly convinced in my decision, I still am interested in so many different perspectives to Mormonism and I’m hooked on Mormon Stories podcasts.
John, you are doing an amazing service to everyone out there that goes through this. I honestly believe that in the end, your name will be on the history books for good. PLEASE DO NOT STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING!
On behalf of me and my family, THANK YOU!
Dear Dehlin family,
Please know that I mourn with you and your husband and father. He is an honest and courageous truth seeker, and a compassionate healer of many suffering souls, including my own. Regardless of the decision that the disciplinary council may make, truth and goodness are overwhelmingly on John Dehlin’s side. There is no disciplinary action that can discredit him.
With love and pain,
Parker Dylan Shaw
Pittsburgh, PA
Mrs dehlin
I once sent a message to your husband and criticized him for a decision he made last year. I just want to say “I’m sorry”. I feel that john is a great man trying to clarify the truth, and if I had beutiful children like him and a wonderful wife such as yourself I would push for the truth as well. Well you’re a great family and I hope all is well with you guys. Lots love
Richard Doyle
Dear Dehlin Family,
I am not a Mormon, though I’ve investigated the church many, many times. I have always wished I could be baptized, but I could never fully subscribe to the doctrine that excludes LGBTQ persons (who are living with partners and families) from their community. I have also struggled with many other church teachings, and I’ve never been able to “take the plunge.” I view what your father is doing to be incredibly brave, heroic, and hopeful. I wish that he were holding the church reigns, because he is truly a man of God. He speaks truth and love, and his voice is one of the best things to happen to the church this century.
Thank you for speaking up. You have my utmost respect.
Dear Dehlin Family,
Thank you for all that you have done for me and our church community! I am greatly saddened by the disciplinary council news and wanted to share a bit of my experience and support for you.
For context, I converted to the LDS church in 2008 at the age of 25. The beautiful theology and core message of the church was opened to me over the course of a year prior to joining. Growing up Christian, I was excited about how Mormonism added to what I already knew – namely personal revelation, a Heavenly Mother, eternal progression, prophetic revelation and open canon, the Godhead, and a thriving community of Latter-Day Saints. During my investigation and early months in the church, I also picked up the social norms and culture of American Mormonism easily.
A couple of years into my journey as a Mormon, I began to be troubled by a slow trickle of Saints out of the church, the official church stance on several social issues, and some personal questions I had from my experiences in the Temple. If the church was inspired, why did these conflicts exist? At church, I could only see shining, happy faces and no one who also seemed to be in struggle (something I know now is untrue). Who was I to talk to? I turned online for answers and found some brave, differentiated and inspiring voices. I began to feel some peace knowing I was not alone in my questions. I began to feel excitement seeing that others had bleeding hearts for social justice *and* for their Mormon faith – they were not mutually exclusive! And I finally and sadly began to understand why some of my friends were leaving the church behind. This online community of support was heartening and mostly found on Mormon Stories, through John’s vision and work. And as I learned some of uncorrelated Mormon history and also gave room to hear criticism of the church, I felt simultaneously disturbed and grateful. After all, if I was a Mormon, I wanted to understand *all* that I was taking on -the good and the bad – and why my fellow Saints were leaving. And I stayed in the church, determined to be a more honest and compassionate Latter-Day Saint. I inquired about starting a local support community for Mormon Stories listeners in the Triangle, NC Area (a safe place for anyone who might be struggling too), and was able to be part of this small group’s founding members.
My journey is still continuing and undetermined. In any case, I feel so grateful for the role of Mormon Stories in my journey of faith. It has provided a space to safely explore my own questions and understand the questions of other Latter-Day Saints. At this point, I don’t believe the church has any such open-minded forum in which to discuss these issues. And it is **so** very needed! As members, much is asked of us in accepting doctrine, developing testimonies, forming families, following leaders, and shaping our lives around the Gospel. This Gospel is intertwined and often confused with the church structure and culture. It is completely natural and important that questions surface and doubts arise regarding the Gospel and the church. In my mind, John had questions or doubts. The difference between him and me was his vision, bravery, and willingness to take action and support others in the fold. Because John opened up what was in his heart – the good and the bad – he has formed so many connections and, in my opinion, helped make our faith that much richer, more honest, and more hopeful.
As you can imagine, the news of the disciplinary councils was very upsetting for me. I understand the main offense is likely John’s *perceived* negative influence in a public forum. However, this disciplinary council is symbolic to many, many Saints of censorship, disapproval, and discarding of those views and voices like theirs. It is quite devastating to someone who is holding onto faith by a thread, not an iron rod. Although I do not know all of the circumstances surrounding the decision to hold these councils, I believe that John is being unfairly disciplined. He is doing amazing work to build and widen the Kingdom. Our church needs the heart, challenge, and voice Mormon Stories brings – we are and will be so much better for it.
With gratitude and hope,
Angela Towers
Durham, NC
Dear Dehlin Family,
I have an immense amount of gratitude for the time, effort, and heart that John has poured into Mormon Stories. The world around us is colorful, wondrous, and complex. For those of us willing to venture outside the sheltered environment of cultural Mormonism John’s works have provided a balanced and respectful means of engaging that world regardless of where life’s journey takes the listener.
Any difficulties you experience are not without purpose and they are not yours alone. John, along with an increasing number of others, have been called to pioneer an effort to return the Church to the historic principles it was founded on, namely to encourage a search for truth and cultivate the spirit to discern our individual straight and narrow paths. I pray that the spirit of this effort continues to roll forward so that tolerance, acceptance, and unconditional love will prevail and reclaim those who have been estranged.
God bless you all! Be long-suffering and of good cheer. God hears your prayers and walks with you.
Margi and kids,
Your husband/father’s dedication and work are remarkable. I won’t use this forum to tell my story or go into detail about what John’s podcasts have meant to my wife and I (because you probably won’t be able to read through the 1000+ comments anyway), but I wanted to make sure anyone looking will see mine among the vast number of comments from those of us who have been positively impacted. John’s interviews and intentions feel so genuine to me and highlight the best of what Mormonism has to offer. Anyone who has listed to over 200 of the interviews as I have, would be dreadfully blind to think John is detriment to the LDS people. It is still very frustrating to see the church take yet ANOTHER step backwards. I am glad to hear John recognizes his work is bigger and further-reaching than the leadership of the LDS church (by stating he will continue this work regardless of the disciplinary action). I hope your family will be able to see the bigger picture, keep this situation in perspective, and not let the fear and dogmatic restraints of the organization to defeat you.
All the best,
Todd
I just cried and cried when I read this post a few days ago. I was too upset to comment until now.
Dehlin family— if you knew my life story, I promise you that you would feel some comfort in knowing that your Dad’s website gave me peace and a feeling I was still lovable in an otherwise torturous lds life within the church. I am still a member and I am happy now because I know I am not alone. That is all I really needed— to know there was others out there like me. I feel very similar to your Dad in how he believes in the church. I am a historian by trade and I learned too much about the church history to leave it alone on a “mental-shelf” in my mind— it was beyond devastating to me, but your Dad helped me survive the worst of it. Thank you so much and I am so sorry for the pain you have gone though as a family— I want to repay you all someday. I want to make it worth it to each of you. The leadership in the church just has no idea what they are really doing. The are shooting the messenger… I know they don’t see it that way. They have a very different experience in their religion. The 12 and 70 are a part of the most spiritual and uplifting experiences a person can have, and on a daily basis. I believe this gives them the ability to put much more on their “difficult-to-understand-LDS-history” shelves. I feel like this is the reason many of them have little understanding and patience for what the average LDS person feels when they come across difficult church history.
Thank you for the sacrifices that were made in your family to have your Dad help so many other normal people. I felt so much understanding and hope through http://www.www.mormonstories.org. Thanks again Dehlin family… my thoughts and prayers are with you~
Dear Dehlin Family,
I want to personally thank each of you for your support and advocacy, albeit spearheaded by your father, John. Your father’s podcasts have been a great source of comfort and solidarity for me as I have struggled with my faith in the doctrine of our Church, and the reality that I am a homosexual. I converted to the Church in college, while at the Air Force Academy, and served a faithful mission in the then France Bordeaux Mission. I subsequently finished college and went off to flight training and served ten years in the military. Throughout that time I struggled with the self realization of my homosexuality, and what that meant to my LDS faith. That struggle made me feel isolated from the gay community, because I am Mormon, and the Mormon community, because I am gay. It was you’d father’s podcasts, and his subsequent introducing me to others like me, and more importantly supportive, faithful LDS persons, that finally helped me arrive at a place of peace in my own mind. Please don’t ever question the strength of your father and husband’s testimony or the power of his advocacy and allegiance with the gay community. They both have meant the world to me, and I thank you all for having supported and sustained him along the way.
Sincerely,
Karim
WE are so saddened to read of this news. Our thoughts are with you. Your father and husband is courageous and his work has kept many of us open to remaining in a church that has been part of our lives. Now is not the time to share my story but to let you know that your stories as a family need to be heard.
From The Netherlands with Love.
Gail and Jon
As a gay mormon I cannot find words for what your dad has done for me. Thank you seems like so little to say compared with the life changing gifts John has given me. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong and loyal to John as he has been loyal to the truth.
Dear Margi,
Dear Anna,
Dear Maya,
Dear Clara,
Dear Winston,
I spent long years in the closet, married to a man, when I really wanted to be married to a woman. My coming out process, my self-acceptance, my discovery of a TRULY LOVING and ACCEPTING HEAVENLY FATHER would NOT have come about if it wasn’t for your husband and dad’s efforts to imagine, create, and maintain this wonderful place where to share our MORMON STORIES; where to critique our own faith; where to feel like you can listen and talk knowing most people won’t judge you for doing either. It is safe to doubt your beliefs and it is even safer to do it openly so that help and company-advice and warning can be provided. May God be with you through these hard times. With love and admiration to John, AND Margi, AND Anna, AND Maya, AND Clara, AND Winston. THANK YOU!!!
Dear Dehlin Family,
You have been in my prayers. My in-laws live in Cache Valley and I get to visit them often. Let’s all go out for Aggie ice cream. I’d love to give Margi and your kids big hugs. If you feel lonely, know that I am your friend.
Much love,
Brooke
p.s. I’m quite serious about the ice cream.
Dehlin Family-
“Do what is right, let the consequence follow.”
John cares about what’s right. Do you believe that your father or husband can stand before God in the next life and say that he did the very best with the life he had? I can’t answer that for him, but I can say that my thinking is in line with John’s and that I know God is pleased with my choices.
Do what is right; let the consequence follow.
BATTLE FOR FREEDOM IN SPIRIT AND MIGHT;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!
Dear Dehlin family:
I am sorry you are feeling so bad about this, but let me tell you… the church teaches that, to leaders we must just bow our heads and say “yes” to whatever they say or do. There is a vast group of members (I hope) that still keep our dignity and decide to exercise our own thinking. I am one who decided to rule on my own because the leaders over and over have been proven wrong, even by other leaders. No wonder how many people have a hard time with the contradictions in the church morals. John has been a great advocate to us and has been a brave member. A living link.
My message, specially to Jonn’s wife is, to see the person who is next to you. The person who has been the real supporter and lover to you and children. Open your eyes and see who is wrong for real here.
Thank you John.
Your father is a rare and wonderful person. It is comforting to know there is someone who understands life and is not afraid to honestly communicate. It is rare. Thanks
Many years ago, I was having a conversation with a Mormon friend who enjoyed discussing the church, its history, and its doctrine in a much deeper and philosophical manner than most of my other Mormon acquaintances. Once, we were discussing the topic of revelation and he said, “This is where I stop asking questions.” That simple statement said so much.
John is not afraid to ask questions. Bravo.
Dear Dehlin Family,
We all hate to see or experience suffering. I’m grateful for your dad’s courage to stand up and discuss the harder things within Mormonism, that many of us were silently bearing because of our testimony or dedication to the church. I have a brother who I deeply love and found out in my first years of college that he was gay. I felt increasingly conflicted within the church. Whenever I braved asking the questions that were not welcomed in church (i.e. Blacks and the priesthood) I was always shut down and made to feel foolish for asking such questions. The church I grew up in and love was increasingly a place of silence and shaming. I’m sorry your family has to live under public eye of the church and others. That said, I am beyond grateful to your family. A collective consciousness needed to happen, where we could talk openly and honestly about the dark aspects of our church history and practices that were not in alignment with the values we were being taught. “You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.” -Brene Brown. Thank you for being brave with your lives so that we could do the same for ourselves, to live and love authentically without fear or shame.
To John and the Dehlin family,
I am a non-LDS member, who has never attended a Mormon church, who lives on the other side of the world from where you are, an intellectual working in the area of religion, a father. Please know that John’s podcast has opened my mind and life to the really existing, often inspiring, sometimes bewildering, world of Mormonism. John is an inspiration, through his willing and public vulnerability, for all truth seekers living and loving within very fallible communities of faith. Thank you for calling us to live in the nuance. Having shared the podcast journey for some time now, I am deeply saddened at the news of the trial you are all presently going through. I don’t pretend to know the communal difficulties that this will entail. But our shared humanity and divine image compels me to reach out with this message and with prayers to God that justice will rise from these flames. In solidarity for the days ahead. Thank you and take care. Anthony
Dear Dehlin Family
I needed someone in my life like your Father and Husband. I had questions and doubts that I couldn’t find peace or answers for. I tied to talk to others about my concerns and hurt. The usual response was that I was lacking in faith or that Satan had a hold of me. Deep in my soul I felt that they were wrong. I knew that I just wanted to true to myself. Through your Father I was able to feel good about myself, move away from feelings of anger I felt towards our church and continue to grow and become a more Christlike person.
Dear John,
You’re the best man the church has. I hope they will realize this.
More than anyone else in the church, you have your hand on the pulse of the church. Better than anyone else you know the issues and what
needs to change. I hope you stay in the church.
On the other hand though. You will get a ten percent raise and Sundays off. Think of what you can do with that. You’ll have more
time for your podcasts and media skills. Love.
My story is very similar to many that have already been posted. At a time when I struggled while first learning the real history of the church, I found John’s podcasts. They were a beacon in the dark. Before finding his work, I felt like I was the only one going through a crisis of faith. John helped me maintain my sanity and gave me a soft place to land. Thank you for the sacrifices your family is making in order to help all of us! I can’t imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I have had too many moments of doubt in my life to count – moments where I questioned whether or not I should stay or not. I am liberal, a feminist, and married to a devout Catholic man! But I have found so much hope through Mormon Stories and the open-minded discussions and lectures from John. It is hard to talk about Mormon issues sometimes – either experience the shock of the fellow member of your congregation at your lack of pure faith, or feel the wrath of the anti-mormon who wonders why you could still attend the Mormon church! John Dehlin has given a very neutral and open ground to have these important discussions, and it has kept me thinking openly and rationally, and I really attribute it to helping me keep going to church despite the barriers! I don’t know how an apostate could help keep so many members keep going to church, myself being one of them.
Thank you John, and your family, for your courage and love!
Love you Brother. You have done a lot for myself and my family. Really you have no idea how much! Thank you!
To your beautiful family: stay strong, stay together, and be proud of your dad, and yourselves for supporting him. He has done innumerable things that have helped people, in ways that will never be quantified in this life time.
Am really disappointed in the Church’s reaction. Sadly it speaks volumes of it’s current state and collective mindset.
Matt
Australia
To Mr. Dehlin, and family:
I have not read or listened to a whole lot of Mr. Dehlins material. For that reason I do not have much of an opinion on it. I know only what I have heard, and I have heard good things. I pray you are not branded or mistreated by others. I know that is probably in vain. I will say this, in this world of confusion, be true to yourself. Those words echo words I heard from a loved one recently. ” Be true to yourself.” I only write this to tell you, that The Lord is mindful of each of you. He does love you. The second part of James 5:16 reads, ” The effectual fervent prayer of a rightous man availeth much.”
I wish also to quote from the book of Alma, 13:28; ” But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive,patient,full of love and all long suffering.”
The point being, that God loves you. he hears your prayers. He knows your heart. I like this verse in Alma because it shows us also, that if we continue to do that which we know is right, We will be strengthened. I know from personal experience doubts in the church, and in myself. I also know that I have been supported in each of my trials. (These are my anchor, I continue to believe in this church.) So shall you be supported. I know this is true. If you keep praying, and reading scriptures you will see an increase in these blessings. Perhaps if it is only an increase of strength with-in yourselves.
Continue onward. Be of good faith. Continue onward. No matter how bleak it seems, there are those of us who would reach out to support you.
with love, Joseph Veit
Dehlin Family,
I have been a fan of John’s for some time now. I really can’t add much to the sentiments of support that have already been expressed, except to let you know I value the work that John has done and will continue to do regarding those who go through faith struggles within the LDS church. I add my voice to those who can say that John and Mormon Stories are a big part of my ability to stay within the church . I’ve been through my own faith roller coaster and John’s work has allowed me to more fully appreciate and enjoy the ride as I find the right balance in my heart AND mind. I can only imagine the social pressure you all are going through that is unique within the LDS culture. If you were in my Ward/Stake, I would be standing beside you in full support of the right to ask valid questions and not risk excommunication. I hope that when the dust settles, the tent of modern Mormonism is big enough for everyone. As an aside, I’m also able to finally start a donation to Mormon Stories. I support your efforts.
John,
I have honestly struggled for years through a lot of these issues and was just very recently, the last week or so, brought to your website through the media coverage and through a discussion with a close friend, and old mission companion. I have listened to about 10-12 hours of podcasts these past few days and I can’t explain to you how I am feeling. It’s like I am having a “spiritual” experience working through some of my issues.
I knew a lot of the difficult stuff but never spent the time to really investigate it. That is a major problem for people within the Church. They hear that Joseph Smith stuck his face in a hat and the world comes crashing down. I basically was left with a laundry list of these difficult things and no where to work them out other than through Anti-Mormon blogs or the rose colored denial of my Church leadership.
I was really angry at everyone and everything and ended up being depressed. My wife and son, unfairly, paid for this to an extent. I couldn’t believe how I could let myself believe this stuff. I wanted to lash out, and did to a degree. In the end, the anger subsided but I have been struggling to find my place in the Church.
Even though I was only baptized when I was 17, this Church is my culture, identity, and is, frankly, the traditions of my fathers. The thought of leaving the Church is so scary for me. I don’t want to be an outsider or even on the fringes but I also don’t want to lie to myself.
What I have listened to these last few days has, for the first time since I was first troubled, provided me with the thought that maybe there is a way that I can work these issues out and not have to live in a scary world outside of Church membership. This is the spiritual experience I have been having. There are in fact people that know these things and that come out stronger on the other side and I can be one of those. I am realizing that the process that I have gone through, and continue to go through, is not because I am sinful or faithless but that it is a perfectly normal process that many, including yourself, have gone through.
I feel for your family and feel for you. If you are like me, the thought of losing membership to an organization that provides an environment that cultivates introspection, spirituality (no matter how defined), graciousness, and a strong family based platform is scary. I am glad that you have not allowed this to hold you hostage because that is how I have felt at times. I hope your family, and Church leadership, knows that this forum is continuing to pull people from depression and despair and is leading people to find peace, regardless of where they find it.
Adam
The work your father does certainly brings people closer to God. Being a Mormon teaches you to stand up for what you believe in, if nothing else. Be so honored to have such a righteous father!
Dear John and Dehlin Family,
Thank you for standing for truth, knowledge, and personal integrity.
I grew up in a very active LDS family in Cache Valley. I am now 40 years old, married to my best friend, and have three beautiful children. I served a mission, my wife and I got married in the temple, I was a scout master, Elder’s Quorum President, 2nd counselor in a bishopric, 1st counselor in two branch presidencies, gospel doctrine teacher, young men’s president etc… I have tried my VERY best to serve God and my family my entire life. Just a couple months ago I asked my stake president to release me from my callings in my branch.
I loved this church because I honestly believed with all my heart that it stood for good, truth, right, forever families, true eternal progression and personal integrity above all else!!! I still want to believe this. But I do not presently believe this…not when those higher up in the Church purposefully try to cover the truth, supress knowledge, and do their best to stamp out honest investigation of our “OWN” history…our “OWN” roots…our “OWN” ancestors and “their” stories…”OUR” stories.
Your father has helped so many. He has helped so many keep their faith and hope in the Church. To see him treated this way by the Church whom he obviously loves is a complete mystery to so many of us who “know” John is being honest. We hunger for the truth! We hunger for progression to something much grander than just a cover-up of the past to protect our “fragile” faith today. How can we learn from the past and move forward if we don’t even know what the past is? I hunger for a Godly organization that isn’t afraid of the mistakes that were made in the past and isn’t afraid to admit them openly and to learn from them and grow past them honestly and with integrity. I’m not concerned with the mistakes the Church has made in the past. I am concerned that the Church is afraid of the mistakes it has made in the past and just can’t seem to muster up enough courage to completely be open and honest…the way we ALL know God wants us to be.
Your father is a hero…a super hero for standing for truth and integrity. He’s a super hero for standing up for the underdogs…just like Jesus did. He’s a super hero for standing up for his wife and children and demanding that you have the oppportunity to find truth for yourselves. If only EVERYONE could be so brave and good. I believe we can be this brave and that we should be this brave. We owe it to those living this very day and to all those whom will yet live in the future that they may have their freedom! That we all may live in a world where our hearts, minds, and souls are not ruled by fear. To me, this appears to be John’s personal dream. John, I thank you for sharing the “spark” of divinity within you with all of us. It is helping fuel a raging fire of change within the hearts of humanity.
“Whos on the Lord’s side who?!” I will gladly stand with those who demand honesty, integrity, and individual agency. John, I stand with you in this journey. I pray that your family and many many others will have the courage to do so also…for this is our moment…our time to build a better world.
The collection of interviews recorded on this website are a treasure trove off history. As I’ve listened to these stories my mind has grown and expanded- as well as my capacity for empathy and love. Thank you to your family for all of your time, efforts, sacrifice and charity. Prayers for all of you.
Dear Dehlin Family,
My heart was broken the day I learned of the action the Church wishes to take against your father and I can only imagine the pain this news has been for your family. Mormon Stories has been my saving grace as I have struggled with my Faith crisis ever since reading Rough Stone Rolling. I looked to John for answers on how to remain in the Church even though I had many things sitting on my “shelf”. I have learned from John how to except the Church despite it’s many worts and shortcomings for the betterment of my family. And for this I am in Johns debt. Thank you Dehlin family for sharing this great man.
My only fear now is if there is no room for John in the Church’s so called big tent is their room for any of us with the same questions and misgivings that President Uchtdorf once spoke was welcomed in this same tent.
Hi Dehlin family,
I just want to thank you for your courage and honesty. I think if there were more open, respectful dialogue at church on Sunday, the church would be a safer, more inclusive place. Thank you for being an example to the rest of us.
Much love,
Julia
I won’t speak for others in the Church, because this most recent episode has only underscored the profound disconnect that I feel with many of my brothers and sisters. But I want you to all know the following: I want you with us. You may not be better for having us in your life, but I guarantee you that we are better for having you in ours. Although I don’t claim to know much of substance, I feel like I’ve figured out a lot about process. And I will preach that an unexamined life is not worth living. If there is one thing that I believe our heavenly parents want from us, is for us to become sincerely reflective and intentional about what we believe, how we think, and what we do with our lives. Your husband and father represent an honest attempt at that very task. And you should be so very proud of him for that. I have gotten so much out of Mormon Stories. Even a week later, the most apropos description of how I feel is just “sad.” So I certainly don’t expect anything different from you. But realize that god is much happier with us making mistakes after trying to work it out than from never taking the risk to think for ourselves. I send my love and support your way. And, to John, thank you so very much.
To the Dehlin Family,
I love the gospel of Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul. I have been active in the Church all my adult life. I’ve conducted music, taught primary, taught Relief Society, taught Gospel Doctrine for five years and served in the Relief Society presidency.
My testimony has not prevented me from having questions about the institution that is the Church. It has been so refreshing – even vital – to hear directly from those involved in some of the issues facing the Church. “Mormon Stories” has deepened my understanding and has given me much needed perspective. For this I am enormously grateful.
I’m sure this must be a very trying time for you as a family. Know that by reaching out with compassion and without judgement John Dehlin has helped a lot of people. He is also helping the Church, even though they don’t realize it yet. You can be very proud of him.
To the Dehlin children: in time you will come to value even more the example your father is setting for you of honesty, courage and integrity. You will draw strength from it throughout your lives.
Dear family
My life would have been completely different, had I had Mormon stories to listen to 26 years ago. I had spent 6 years reading and questioning the Mormon church. I had a wife and 6 children(ages 8 to 22). A daughter just married. A gay son on a Mission in Singapore. We had just 5 years earlier adopted 2 special needs children from church social services. I had no where to turn to. I had no one to talk to about my thoughts and beliefs. My wife listened to the church leaders and divorced me. I could not blame her. I would have done the same if the cards were reversed. A year later I had my name taken off the records of the church. I considered the church to be a fraud from its very foundation. I remarried a convert to the church who had previously been a Methodist. She has loved me and accepted me for what I am. I have never left the church mentally. After 26 years I’m still reading ” The Rest of the Story Books”. I have been listening and reading information on your dads site (momonstories.com) for the last 1 1/2 years. He has brought me a peaceful and better understanding of the church. The divorce broke up my family, and after 26 years I have little hope of it ever coming back together. Don’t take sides. Love both of your parents. They are both great people. I will forever be thank to your dad. He as been a great source of love, compassion, understanding and strength. He would be a great friend.
David Larson
Dear Dehlin Family,
I think others have already expressed it better than I could but it is important for me to add my voice. This podcast has been a balm for my soul. I’m forever grateful for the very important and courageous work that John has been dedicated to. This podcast allows me a way to stay connected to my Mormon heritage and culture.
God Bless,
KD
I LOVE the “balm for my soul”!!!!!!! Heritage & culture that’s perfect! Well said!
John’s Family,
When I found Mormon Stories Podcast I was ELATED! I must have told 100 people within my first month… The educated & ACTIVE guests strengthened my testimony & easily clarified all my “Mormon Issues”. In my research- It was hard to find information that answered my many questions. John’s podcasts gave me the actual truth- not an opinion- not an outdated quote from Mormon Doctrine. John & his guests encourage listeners to stay in the church. Reinforcing the idea of community and a good environment for serving others & following the Savior. How weird the community wants to toss their biggest cheerleader – It undermines all the good the podcast stands for. Unfortunately John is the glue that adheres many to the church. If HE gets the boot- that glimmer of hope -he encouraged all to hold on to- will die. When the structure overrides the spirit – the disillusion melts the desire to wake up on Sunday &/or go Visiting Teaching. The Savior’s actions show only faith, inclusion, & love – it is unfortunate that fear, & exclusion, & not love… drive this stupid endeavor. It’s hard to encourage you guys when I am wicked disappointed. I am so sorry for the “Orthodox Mormons” in charge of this which hunt- they stopped following the Savior & walk in the Pharisees & Sadducees footsteps. John changed my life & gave me strength to stay true no matter what may occur- so I hope you too can hold on. Summit View loves you! So if it gets weird in Issaquah go south- find us & you will find a humble community of acceptance. -Goo
Dear Dehlin family,
The first interview I ever heard on the Mormon Stories podcast was between John and Matthew Garrett about the Indian placement program. I had an Indian sister for two years, so learning more about that program was fascinating to me! I loved how your Dad wasn’t afraid to ask hard questions and get real answers. It’s something I’ve been trying to do since my parents divorced and what I thought was true in my life began to unravel.
Since that first Podcast I have found a friend in John. Through his interviews I have been led to read many beautiful books, one of my favorites being Letters to a Young Mormon by Adam Miller. My views have been broadened and my testimony both challenged and strengthened at the same time because of John’s words. I have loved this journey!
I am deeply saddened that John will be facing a Disciplinary Council. I have been praying that hearts will be softened and he will be allowed to keep his membership. Thank you for sharing your Dad and husband with me! I feel like his podcasts are a soft place to fall and rest in troubled times.
With Love,
Julie Aikens
I have found mormon stories and the work that John has done to be a great blessing to me during my faith crisis. In the movie The wizard of OZ, the wizard tells the Tin Man that a heart is not judged by how much a person loves, but by how much that person is loved by others. Just by reading these posts I think it is obvious how good of a man John is and how much he is loved. No matter what the church decides, they will not be able to take away the fact that John is good person and a man of God. Our Savior’s message is not one of discrimination and hate but one of love. The greatest commandments given to us are to love God and love one another. That is all I have ever seen from what John has done and we are lucky to have people like John in the world.
Dear Family,
Sometimes the road is difficult, but always remember you are loved- there is nothing more important. Now imagine that someone is not loved or excepted and you and your family can do something about it. Please believe in your Dad and make sure he gets lots of hugs and kisses every day. Because of the love he is spreading, other children will get to live. This is a very important work. Thank you for sharing him with us, we are grateful! You can hold your heads up high and be very proud. The correct road is seldom the easy one. Sending much love and happiness to you and your family! :)
Dear Dehlin Family,
I left Mormonism by my own request 10 years ago after being an active member by entire life. I discovered a life of love, grace, and compassion beyond anything imaginable. When I was Mormon, I felt as though I was desperately sucking the breath of the Spirit through a coffee straw. Now my JHWH is like the Alaska pipeline.
Know that many prayers of love and support are being lifted to a very real God, by many many believers of all faiths. For you and your entire family. Love, Love, Love and the Lord’s compassion to you all.
Are you sure it was a “coffee” straw? I appreciate the visual; great analogy and I can relate.
John’s podcasts were the greatest contributor to my finding peace during a very painful faith crisis. Knowing there were others like me gave me hope and the courage to find new life. Thank you Dehlin family for supporting him and allowing him to do the work he’s done.
I for one have really enjoyed, and learned a lot from your website. I love how you let your guests speak their peace and really give them ample time and respect to tell their stories. I am so glad that the mormon community has great people like yourself who not afraid to have real interviews and conversations about sensitive issues which are rarely if ever given a proper forum in any settings in mormondome. I truly feel that websites like this are to the mormon church what Edward Snowden, wiki leaks, Ron Paul, and the alternative media on the internet are to the US government and it’s totally controlled and scripted main stream media(or governments the world over for that matter). And ironically both of these organizations claim Devine rights to monopolies which neither reason, logic, morality, nor history support.. I would highly recommend the short online essay called “Anatomy of The State” by Murry N. Rothbard, “The myth of the rule of law” by John Hasnas, or “the obviousness of anarchy” by john Hasnas to anyone who thinks I’m barking up the wrong tree. After reading those three short essays I think you might just have a mind blowing experience, which will get you to read, question, and learn more! This site is a perfect example, like so many others of what the true potential of the internet is and how one lonely web site can really speak truth to power and have a really big impact on the lives of many. God bliss you John Dehlin and I’ll keep your family in my prayers! Hey, and thanks again for he great service you’ve rendered unto the mormon community!
Dear Dehlin family,
I was the perfect young Mormon woman. I wanted to please, I chose the right, and set an example for all my peers. But in my gut I felt that I didn’t really know why I was doing all this–I mean, I knew I wanted my parents to love me and I wanted the respect of the people in my ward and school. But why was I making these daily decisions? I always felt unsettled and confused, no matter how many times I bore my testimony.
When your dad created a virtual space (the podcast) where my nagging questions could be voiced freely, discussed and critically examined from all sides, I felt like a light started to flicker inside my heart. As I realized that there was someone as smart and careful as your dad who was working to make people like me feel safe enough to explore and search for more information and eventually find my own way, my heart seemed to light up, grow bigger, and beat true. He has risked a lot to help me (and doesn’t even know me), and I am forever grateful!
But the most important thing your dad has done (in my view) is to defend the rights of LGBT people. He has saved lives through his work on LGBT issues.
I wish I lived in your community and could be there to stand by and support your family. Please remember there are families like mine who would love to be your neighbors, friends, and defenders! I am sure that each member of your family is smart, fierce, and dedicated to whatever cause you hold dear. Just because your dad gets a lot of attention doesn’t mean he’s the most important member of your family! Each of you must be an amazing individual with your own passions that will help the world be a safer, happier, more just place. Find your passion and the rest will all make sense.
All my best,
Tiffany
Dear Dehlin family,
I don’t agree with some of the actions that John (sorry for the formal address) has made but I love him for who he is. Brutal honesty with oneself is a difficult thing to accomplish in life and should be prized from those who can display it. John is an inspiration for many and no matter where anyone stands on his “activism” or beliefs i don’t think anybody could deny he is a good man. No matter the outcome of a future that we cannot predict please know that for all the church and its members flaws the core belief that we are gods children and he loves you is always of great comfort. Best wishes!
I joined the LDS church 1 year ago as a convert with an atheist background. When I first learned about the church, I loved the Mormon values and lifestyle. I struggled to accept the doctrine, especially after reading online about issues with church history etc. Still, as I moved from atheism to agnosticism, I saw too much good in the church to just quickly turn away from it again. The turning point truly was when I discovered Mormon Stories Podcast, which showed me that it may be possible to find ways to be an active church member without a literal belief in all the doctrine – or even a certainty in God’s existence. Thus, the podcast even had a part in my decision to be baptized! It’s very disappointing that the church would threaten John with disciplinary action considering how many people he helps stay in the church (or in my case even helped join the church!).