In this three part interview with Josh and Lolly Weed we discuss:

  • Part 1: How they fell in love and decided to marry, in spite of both knowing that Josh is gay 
  • Part 2: The complexities and risks of living in a mixed-orientation marriage, and
  • Part 3: LGBT issues within the LDS church

 

For more content regarding the LGBT/LDS experience, check out Gay Mormon Stories PodcastNo More Strangers blog, and additional LGBT-related interviews on Mormon Stories Podcast.

 

15 Comments

  1. Brian Kissell April 3, 2013 at 9:50 am - Reply

    So great! The Weed family was in my ward when I was a youngster. Josh’s siblings were good friends with my siblings, and although I have always heard amazing stories of their family, I personally never had the chance to get to know them, and thus I am really excited to be able to listen to Josh and Lolly’s story in greater detail. Josh and Lolly, Thank you for being willing to be interviewed on Mormon Stories.

  2. maddy April 3, 2013 at 7:11 pm - Reply

    Thanks John for putting together this interview! I think it is immensely valuable and enlightening to hear the views/experiences of all those interviewed–Josh and Lolly, Dave and Tom(?) I’m glad all had the courage to share their stories, and I think each path through this issue should be validated and respected. As an LDS, (not gay) member I very much believe that the primary job of our existence here is to love others and to refrain from judging, demonizing etc. There is immense variability in life and it is an individual journey.
    I’ve heard “slippery slope” types of arguments and wonder
    what would the response be to those who think same-sex marriage will lower the “bar” such that some “Josh and Lolly” types will then make other choices? Or, that bisexual people who would’ve chosen opposite sex partners (with the “higher” bar) now choosing same-sex partnerships?

  3. Katie M. April 3, 2013 at 10:07 pm - Reply

    I’m nearly speechless. These are two incredibly beautiful individuals who appear to have a beautiful marriage as well. No need for them to be the poster marriage for anything other than two individuals supporting and loving each other through life. God bless them as they continue on their unique journeys together.

  4. Line upon Line April 5, 2013 at 5:34 pm - Reply

    Thank you for the most thoughtful and heartwarming interview I have ever listened to on MS. Josh and Lolly, you are amazing people with so much love and understanding in your hearts. You inspire me to want to be a better person. Wish the two of you could speak in General Conference (smile)! All the best to you and your family.

  5. RayG April 7, 2013 at 1:35 pm - Reply

    Good interview with interesting and decent people. My one big disappointment with it was the degree to which they seemed to diminish the decision they made to be married. I understand that a mixed orientation marriage has added difficulties, but the fact that a decent percentage of them do make it would seem that it is a viable alternative. Any gay person listening to your interview had to have been discouraged from attempting what you’ve achieved, even though you seem to have a very happy and rewarding relationship.

    There were lots of stats thrown around, curious what the “divorce rate” is for monogamous homosexual unions, and how it compares to mixed orientation marriages. While things seem to be changing, for a long time homosexuality seemed to be associated with promiscuity, so perhaps there is cultural baggage that hurts the sustainability of gay relationships in general.

    Finally, still disagree on the Gay marriage issue. They don’t need my permission to be in love, and why do they want marriage to begin with? Heterosexuals have already almost ruined the institution with excessive divorce and lack of commitment. If the supreme court supports gay marriage, I can guarantee that tradtional Christian faiths will be spending billions of dollars and countless hours dealing with lawsuits. Do most gays want to sue churches? No, but there are plently who hold a grudge and likely have lawyers ready to go. Not something I’m looking forward to, nor something that will go good for our society.

    Thanks again, Josh and Lolly, for opening your life for us to understand. I’m sure such scrutiny it’s not what you had hoped for.

  6. Brenda April 7, 2013 at 5:33 pm - Reply

    Very inspiring. It shows the blessings and the power to overcome, that happen when people devote themselves to Christ and his gospel. God will not let us down, when we commit to follow him no matter what. The Weed’s story testifies of this. Thank you, and may God continue to bless and sustain them and their family.

    • Randal May 30, 2013 at 11:26 am - Reply

      Brenda,
      I believe that Josh and Lolly are very clear in this podcast that they believe their relationship is not a model for every gay person to follow. Rather, because of extremely unusual circumstances and their ability to communicate they have created a marriage that they choose to nurture. To say something along the lines of “it shows the blessings and power to overcome that happen when people devote themselves to Christ and his gospel” is very short sighted in my opinion and denigrates the thousands of well meaning LDS faithful who tried this and it ended up being a very painful experience. This is not typical of mixed orientation marriages even when both are committed to making it work. I am one example.

  7. j April 9, 2013 at 1:16 pm - Reply

    Incredibly enlightening. So happy to have heard this story. Happy to be coming to more understanding of some peoples worlds. We will hopefully be able to share this in our mormon communities and grow the open minded culture we so desperately need.

  8. Brian April 17, 2013 at 6:55 pm - Reply

    I must say that I’m very bothered by Weed’s third grade philosophies on human sexuality (isn’t he a psychiatrist or something?). My jaw dropped when Josh said he questions the existence of male bisexuality on the basis that he’s never met one personally. Josh, if you’re reading this, go listen to Dan Savage’s podcast, you’ll be blown away by the plurality of human sexuality, not just homosexuality and yes, male bisexuality, but all sorts of behavior you’ve never imagined.

  9. Brent April 19, 2013 at 7:05 am - Reply

    John, you are an incredibly effective interviewer, IMO. I’ve been listening to some other non-open stories podcasts and that constrast is impressive. You ability to probe multiple sides of an issue is amazing. Thank you for what you do.

  10. Cruz Duchesneau May 2, 2013 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    Divorce causes major issues with health insurance benefits. Many families have employer provided and/or paid for health insurance benefits that cover the entire family. It is not uncommon to see situations where the other spouse is a stay at home parent, with absolutely no access to health insurance benefits, or employed at a job with either no health insurance benefits available or those benefits available at a substantial cost. After a divorce, the spouse with the family health insurance coverage can no longer cover the other parent. They are no longer “family” members who can take advantage of one health insurance policy. How to then ensure that everyone stays insured does become an issue for negotiation and/or divorce litigation.’,

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  11. […] The Story of Josh and Lolly Weed This was the story of a mixed-orientation couple. The love that they have for each other is just beautiful. Their big message was 1) Homosexuality is real 2)Homosexuals need love and acceptance and 3) Mixed-orientation marriages are difficult and definitely not a good answer for everyone. […]

  12. Craig May 11, 2013 at 8:17 pm - Reply

    I am a heterosexual man. I can’t imagine marrying my childhood best male friend (Washington state), and having gay sex with my husband, completing giving up my desire for physical intimacy with a woman. But, then, maybe it says more about me than it does Josh.

    I am no longer a TBM. However, having severed in five Bishoprics and as a High Councilor over the years, I know for a fact that many members of the church (were) are having sex outside of marriage. I have heard many, many confessions over the years — the young, the old and the in between. Can Josh stay true to his vows? I believe that will be a very big challenge for him moving forward.

    Once again, I don’t understand Josh’s decision but, then, it is none of my business. He has a beautiful family and a lovely, loving wife!

  13. deanne May 28, 2013 at 11:16 pm - Reply

    I think you guys are very brave I myself am gay and live with it everyday and you guys allow me to think it’s possible for me to be strong your faith in god and one another is inspiring

  14. Randal May 30, 2013 at 9:05 am - Reply

    Some feedback about my experience of your sharing of your intimacy with Lolly: I feel a huge amount of dissonance between what you say and your body language. I get that much of that may be my own superimposed dissonance. Nonetheless, saying that you are fulfilled sexually doesn’t resonate with me. What resonates with me is that at some point in your life you determined that you were willing to do anything to have a wife and children in a way that was consistent with your beliefs in the LDS faith and God. I believe you have done that. I know that part of it. I honestly don’t believe you when you say that you are fulfilled. I can’t see how that is possible even having created a beautiful intimacy with Lolly, which I do understand. I felt love and intimacy with my wife. Clearly, I was not vulnerable nor honest with her through most of my marriage, so I can’t say things would have not been different. I wish you the best. I think your messages intended and unintended have not been fully addressed for a lot of your readers who are clinging onto any hope they can find to make sense out of the feelings they have. Please consider doing this. Otherwise, your message likely will have consequences that I am sure you wouldn’t like and haven’t intended.

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